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The Crappy Zero-Star Therapist in a Parallel Dimension

Roannie_5721
Meet the worst therapist on Earth. He drinks cheap whiskey, aggressively insults his patients, and boasts a bulletproof zero-star rating online. He doesn't want to heal you; he just wants your hourly rate so he can pay his rent. But when a routine session with a weeping middle-manager abruptly turns into a telekinetic meltdown, he realizes that he is in a parallel dimension that is basically a psychological hazard zone. Welcome to a world where unresolved trauma literally gives you superpowers. The citizens here are walking, superpowered powder kegs, relying on their fractured "Egos" to cast fire, bend gravity, and level city blocks. The catch? If their mental health deteriorates, they burn out, and become food for interdimensional monsters hungry for negative energy. In a society entirely populated by emotionally unstable, heavily armed psychopaths, a guy who actually understands the DSM-5 is the ultimate mechanic. But our protagonist didn't get a superpower. He got something infinitely better: absolute, soul-crushing apathy. Because he is so fundamentally cynical and completely dead inside, he leaves zero psychological footprint. Psychic detectives can't track him. The trauma-eating monsters think he has the nutritional value of a cardboard box. He is the ultimate anomaly—a ghost in a city of glowing targets. Well, a ghost with one massive headache. Because his transition to this world woke up his subconscious "Alter"—a sickeningly sweet, overly empathetic Beverly Hills life coach who now lives rent-free in his head and refuses to shut up. Stranded in a dystopia where nobody remembers him and a militarized anomaly task force is hunting his shadow, he has only one goal: find a decent cup of coffee and extort these superpowered lunatics for everything they’re worth. Heroes save the world. He just bills it out-of-network.
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Beauty and the Thief [BL]

Tao Hua's life is fucking miserable, and that misery somehow earns him the title of "Village Disgrace." In order to cope with the awful treatment, he often retreats into words untold, dictated by the flip of a page. These worlds leave him with the dream of escaping this piece of shit town. To his utter dismay, his wish comes true, but not in the way all those fairytales promised. His saviour is a man he becomes enthralled with and whom he names “Lord No-Name.” This male lead is a touchy man with many faces. And for lack of a better word, Tao Hua can’t decide if he’s either the story’s love interest or villain. But the two share a common sentiment. This prince, alike Tao Hua, is also fucking miserable. But arguably worse! And instead of coping like a normal fucking person, he does the opposite. He doesn't escape. He doesn't cope. He just tries to fight against the already fated truth of his demise. 0/10, worst prince ever written. Misery aside, this fateful encounter will force Tao Hua to make a choice, leaving him with only one question: "What was one mean-spirited beast to a town of people who despise a beauty's entire existence?" ──── ୨୧ ──── Beauty and the Thief is a slow-burn, stop to smell the roses, type of novel. That being said, the roses are beautiful, and upon closer observation they’re less floral than once thought. It follows the POV of Tao Hua, as he tries to navigate his new life in a place that actually values him, and the prince of this story’s mood swings. ──── ୨୧ ──── !!!!Disclaimer!!!! EXTREMELY SLOW PACED! This story borrows the premise of Beauty and the Beast, by Jeanne-Marie Le Prince de Beaumont, relying heavily on the trope while also twisting it to smithereens. The beast element is exchanged for a power dynamic, and the curse differs from the original story. The narration borders on sarcastic and self-aware, while also targeting deeper topics. It often breaks the fourth wall as a stylistic choice. A lot of the work will be edited over time, but the bones will remain the same.
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