"Noah…" my voice broke, barely a whisper. "Don't you dare leave me now."
Not after everything… not like this. My fingers trembled against his cold skin.
"Open your eyes… look at me," I swallowed hard. "I lied to you… I… I don't hate you anymore."
But he didn't react.
The silence was worse than any answer.
4 months earlier
The wind hits my face as I stick my head out of the car window.
For a few seconds… I am no one. I'm not the girl everyone ignores. I'm not the one who is "extra" in her own home.
I just… exist.
"Eli," my mother's voice breaks the moment. "Are you listening?"
I lower my gaze slowly.
Of course I'm listening. I always do.
Even if no one does the same for me.
"Elizabeth Anderson," she insists, this time in that tone that doesn't allow for silence.
I clench my fingers over my lap.
"What?" "Your father and I are talking about your university."
Ah.
That.
I let out a soft laugh to myself.
"With what money?"
The silence in the car turns uncomfortable instantly.
My mother presses her lips together. My father slightly turns up the volume on the radio.
Neither of them answers.
Of course. Because there isn't any.
"It's not something you need to question," she finally says.
But her voice doesn't sound so firm anymore.
"I already told you, I'm not going to keep studying."
This time, my father speaks.
"You are going to."
Without looking at me.
As always.
"What for?" I ask, feeling something inside me begin to tighten. "We can't even pay for it."
Then it happens.
He looks at me.
And I wish he hadn't.
"Because it's the only thing you have to offer."
The air gets trapped in my lungs.
I don't know what hurts more… his words, or the way he says them.
As if it were obvious. As if I… were just that.
Something to be used.
"You can choose the major," my mother adds… "or we choose it for you."
I look out the window again.
The trees pass by quickly, blurred.
I guess it doesn't matter.
Here, it's never about what I want.
They decided for me a long time ago.
And somehow…
I feel like this is only the beginning of something worse...
We arrive at the high school.
I get out of the car without a word.
I don't say goodbye.
Neither do they.
The sound of the engine fading away is all that's left… and for some reason, it doesn't bother me.
I look up.
Kaly is in the distance.
My best friend. My only friend.
Surrounded by people, laughing as if life were simple. As if it weren't heavy.
She hasn't seen me yet.
Kaly has everything I don't. Friends. Boyfriends. A… normal life. Too normal.
I raise my hand and wave at her.
When she finally sees me, her face lights up and she runs toward me.
"Hey, bitch," she says through laughs, hugging me tight and leaving a kiss on my cheek. "How was the weekend?"
I close my eyes for a second.
"Horrible… you know."
She pulls back a bit to look at me better. Her smile disappears.
"Your parents again, right?"
I nod.
I swallow hard before speaking.
"We don't have a cent… and they still want to force me to keep studying," my voice sounds tighter than I expected. "I don't want to. I don't want to depend on them for one more minute."
I clench my fists.
"I hate them."
The memory appears without warning. A glass breaking. My father's voice, too loud.
That smell of alcohol that never goes away. I close my eyes tightly.
"After that last time…" my voice cracks, "I just want to get the hell out of that house."
I feel the tears before I can stop them.
Kaly reacts instantly. She hugs me tight.
"Hey… look at me," she whispers as she wipes my face. "You're not alone, okay? We'll think of something."
I don't say anything. Because I'm not sure "something" exists.
The bell rings.
We pull apart and walk toward our classrooms.
The rest of the day passes quickly.
Too quickly.
Today, at least, no one said anything. No laughs. No whispers. No stupid nicknames.
Almost… peaceful.
But that doesn't make it better.
Because when everything goes quiet… that's when I think the most.
I've never had a boyfriend. I haven't even had a first kiss in seventeen years.
And, being honest… I don't think that's changing anytime soon.
At school, everyone hates me. And at home… well, at home, I don't even know what I am.
I look down.
I guess I'm destined for this. To be alone. To endure. To disappear little by little without anyone caring.
Kaly's mom drops us off in front of my house.
I say goodbye to both of them with a kiss and stay there watching as they drive away in their beautiful red car…
so different from everything that surrounds me.
When they vanish from my sight… I return to reality.
My house.
My world.
The same as always.
I take a deep breath before moving forward.
I open the door.
Silence.
I frown.
I don't hear anything.
I close my eyes for a second… and for the first time today, I feel something like peace.
It seems they haven't arrived yet.
I head up to my room without making a sound and go straight to the bathroom.
The hot water hits my skin and I let out a sigh.
It runs over my body slowly, from my chest to my back… taking away, if only for a few minutes, all the weight I carry.
I stay there longer than I should. Maybe fifteen minutes… or more.
It doesn't matter.
Time always passes faster when it doesn't hurt to exist.
When I come out, I drop onto the bed. I don't even remember the moment I closed my eyes.
But I fall asleep.
Thud.
I wake up suddenly.
My heart is beating fast.
It's the door.
They're here.
I hear footsteps… fast… heavy. Voices.
They aren't shouting.
That's what's strange.
They are speaking low.
Too low. As if they didn't want anyone to hear them.
I get up slowly and open the door carefully.
The hallway is dark.
I go down the stairs, one by one, holding my breath.
The voices are coming from the kitchen.
I stop before entering.
"I've spoken with them. Everything is settled," my father says calmly, as if he were talking about anything. "It's perfect… it's exactly what we needed."
I frown.
Them?
"But… you know she's not going to accept that," my mother responds, sounding unsure. "What are we going to do?"
Silence.
A heavy silence.
"We force her."
I feel my body tense.
"She's a minor," he continues. "Besides, when we sign the papers, they will be her legal guardians. We'll be out of it… no problems."
My breath hitches. I don't understand. I don't want to understand.
"We'll still be the perfect family to the outside world…" he adds calmly, "and we'll make money."
Money.
Always money.
My mind begins to spin.
Something doesn't fit.
Nothing fits.
"And if she refuses?" my mother asks in a low voice.
My father lets out a small laugh.
Cold.
Empty.
"She'll do it… or we'll make her do it."
The world caves in on me.
And then…
"Who would have thought Eli would end up being useful," he says. "Selling our daughter has been the best decision we've ever made."
… The air disappears.
My legs stop responding.
My eyes fill with tears.
No…
it can't be.
I knew they didn't love me.
I knew it.
But… this much?
Enough… to sell me?
After all this time… After seventeen years…
I can't feel my feet. They start moving on their own.
Backward. Then toward the door.
Everything becomes a blur. I don't think.
I don't breathe.
I just want to get out. Out of here. Away from them.
I leave the house without realizing it.
The cold air hits my face. But I don't stop. I keep walking.
Fast.
Faster and faster.
The tears won't let me see.
And then… a light.
Too close. Too bright.
A car?
I don't react.
I can't.
Everything happens in a second.
"WATCH OUT!" … Impact. Darkness.
"What happened?!" "It's a girl!" "Call an ambulance!"