This is the story of someone who created what in this city they would say was impossible. They created an ideal.
And that's how I got a hole in my chest.
In a dystopian city, there was a wonderful favela, where children could run safely through the streets and people weren't afraid of stray bullets.
Today, the favela is going to smile. After many years, we finally managed to throw the big party everyone had been waiting for, to remember what my grandmother used to say was the biggest party that ever existed in Brazil: Carnival.
She never actually experienced it herself, since she was already born here in Nova Rio, but she said that her father's father, or her father's grandfather, something like that (her memory didn't always work properly), said he had heard about this event, long before the Third Great War.
It was an event known all over the world, where people wore colorful costumes, there was lots of dancing, and meat*-based food. That's why they called it "carnival." At least, that's the story that people tell. *(meat: carne - in portuguese)
My name is Riverson, but I prefer River. I think it's less ugly. I kind of helped organize this whole thing, but not alone. Without the community, none of this would be possible.
In a way, I'm living out my dream. Since I was a kid, I always wanted to be a superhero, to wear those cool costumes and stuff.
But an adult wearing a costume? The kids say it's cringe. And I'm not even an adult yet.
But what better event to dress up for? I was wearing a yellow jumpsuit, rubber gloves and boots. I found both in blue, matching.
I wanted to use the Brazilian flag on my back, like a cape. But the original one, not this one they invented. I think it's boring.
Since I couldn't find one, I used a bath towel, green in color. It wasn't as nice as Superman's, but it matched the yellow.
On my face, I needed a mask, because the Carnival party has that, and most superheroes protect their identities, like Spider-Man.
Here in Nova Rio, people use masks to protect themselves from radiation. It's not very common, not everyone has one that works, but it's kind of a matter of fashion or status.
I couldn't think of anything cool, so I just used a white cloth, just tied it around my face. After all, my identity was supposed to be secret.
But the eyes were missing. I wasn't going to paint them like Batman does, just to match the black mask. So I decided to use some Juliet sunglasses with a metal frame and mirrored lenses. There was a crack in the corner, but you couldn't even see it in the dark.
There was still one detail missing. If I wanted to be faithful to the character, it was an obligation. Practically all the great superheroes wore it: underwear over their pants.
I never understood why they did that, but it was part of the uniform. Not everyone wears underwear these days, but in the old days, it was an essential item.
I needed the colors to match, and the only one I found was white with little blue stars. Well, the Brazilian flag has stars, right?
Now, the Brazilian superhero was ready!
It was night. Here in the Amazon, it's always hot. With that outfit on, I was sweating. But at least it wasn't raining, because if there's one thing that happens here in Nova Rio, it's rain.
If it rained, the dirt lot would turn into a mud pit, making it easier to slide-tackle, there would be more brawling. Still, it would be the biggest event this favela had ever seen, with parties, dancing, rap battles, and soccer.
I walked down Avenida Brasil towards the little schoolhouse. The street was busy, people wearing all sorts of different clothes and costumes, coming from everywhere. Most wore masks, so there wouldn't be any beef between residents from other favelas.
Everyone was happy, drumming this way, dancing and singing that way. Maybe that's how it used to be in the old days.
The good thing was that no one noticed me. It seemed like the disguise had worked. Lots of people were in line to get a meat skewer, real beef, not those rat or cockroach ones.
Someone offered me one, and of course I accepted, and I kept chewing those tasty little pieces of joy. I never imagined we would achieve such a feat.
The little schoolhouse was in an old mansion, where the city's first workers were crammed together.
Now renovated, it became the first school in the Brazuka favela, where everyone is accepted, including adults, even though most are ashamed or think it's a waste of time.
But the kids like it. For me, it's the best place in the favela, maybe even in all of Nova Rio.
As soon as I arrived, there were some kids there. There are always kids, because we like to leave the door open.
I found several fantasy comic books, and the kids liked to go there to read, or at least to look at the pictures. Some even dare to read the books. It ended up being kind of a library for the favela too.
When the kids saw me, they burst out laughing. I was always around there to play and learn with them. But how did they know it was me?
"Hey River, are you gonna go present yourself to everyone dressed like that?" one of them said, pointing at my underwear.
I hadn't thought of that. Even though I was hiding my identity, I was going to open the Carnival, and of course everyone would know it was me.
Maybe there was still time to change.
What if people didn't respect me? I wanted so badly to wear the hero costume that I hadn't even thought about that.
The radio clipped to my underwear made a noise. I answered.
"Hey River, you need to come up to the dirt lot to get things started, man. Everyone's waiting."
It was a resident letting me know over the device.
"Don't you want to do it yourself?" I asked, trying to get myself out of it.
"Are you crazy? This problem is yours."
"Okay, okay, I'm coming up."
I was nervous. The responsibility of my words was too great. That wasn't even what I liked to do. My thing was staying there at the school, teaching the kids to read and stuff. That place brought me peace.
Depending on what was said to everyone, it could ruin everything we built. No pressure, right?
"Hey River, what's your superhero name going to be?" Karrapato asked, still making fun of my elegance.
"Man, I haven't even thought about that. I guess it's just 'Brazuka'."
"But everyone's a Brazuka. If you're a superhero, you should be, I don't know, Super Brazuka!"
"Yeah, that's not a bad idea. You're getting smart, kid. Looks like I'm not just talking to the walls after all."
"If I had a better teacher, I'd already be a genius."
"Haha." It was funny, but I wasn't really in the mood for laughing.
One of the girls approached me with a marker in her hand.
"You look very serious, uncle. You need a smile on your face." She came towards me with authority and a huge blue marker in her hand.
Whenever a kid came to school sad, I would take the marker and draw a huge smile on their face. If someone laughed, I'd draw one on them too.
Usually, everyone ended up with a big smile on their face, including me.
I crouched down and waited for the result. "There, now it's p.e.r.f.e.c.t.," she said, admiring her work.
I didn't know if it was sarcasm or not, because I had the excellent habit of teaching the kids that. I think I was creating monsters.
My nervousness wasn't just about public speaking. In reality, this moment would be a crucial turning point for the favela's and Nova Rio's issues.
In short, the Brazuka favela is made up of Brazilians from all over what used to be Brazil, but for some reason, they decided to divide the population.
We have a faction in the North Zone, one in the South Zone, and here where I am, in the East Zone. After many stories, we are finally about to settle everyone's differences and create a single favela, as well as gather the city's residents for a big party.
There are the Latinos' favelas further south. On the left side, after the river, there's the Xinglings' favela, the Murikas', the Moçangolas', and the Karkamanos'.
In the center, built on an island, there is the great construction, the great burgh, surrounded by walls, called the Centrão.
Each favela is controlled by a drug lord, the person who rules everything. But here it's different, or at least that's what we're trying to create.
The Brazilian's passion is soccer. It always has been. Wherever there's a ball to be kicked, there will be a Brazuka. So, instead of using testosterone to shoot each other, we came up with the idea of, at most, slide-tackling each other.
If there's a problem, we solve it with soccer. Today, besides Carnival, we'll have a game: one team from Lampião's gang will play against a team from the rest of the Brazukas.
Little by little, the people from the north were mixing with us, and soon there would be no more "them" and "us." We would all be Brazukas. Who knows, someday even the other residents of Nova Rio might be called "Brazukas."
The dirt lot would be packed, with residents from both sides, something that would never have happened in the past, because a Brazuka from one zone doesn't enter another zone, otherwise, it's the grave.
I arrived at the entrance to the dirt lot, surrounded by bleachers packed with people from all over the city. I took a deep breath and rolled up the sleeves of my jumpsuit.
I'm making a decision, I'm trembling
Big responsibility, yeah, I understand
Lots of calm is always needed
It can start now, they gave the signal.
Just as I gathered my courage, Karnicera appeared.
"River, River, hurry, hurry."
"I don't understand, breathe, man."
He was out of breath, arrived running and stopped with his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.
As soon as he recovered, I put my hand on his shoulder and asked, calmly but worried:
"Breathe, Karnicera. Now try to speak calmly. No use rushing your words, it'll just make us lose more time."
He was addicted to overclock, the revolutionary drug of Nova Rio. Its extreme use caused tissue deformation and deterioration, with particular effects in each case.
In his case, part of his face had rotted away, some teeth had fallen out, and he was missing a cheek. Because of that, he spoke unclearly.
"The angels are coming up, boss... they're coming with the death carriage already. There won't be enough bullets to stop them. I was coming up, and they were already at the mouth of the avenue. They might even be at the little schoolhouse by now and will be up here soon," he replied, still trying to catch his breath.
My calmness was gone. The little schoolhouse was full. If the angels got there, the children would be in danger.
"We'll have to go down as fast as possible," I replied, already ordering Karnicera to gather the people.
I didn't want combat or war. On the contrary, what we're trying to create here is a city of peace.
But if the angels came in for no reason, it wasn't good. Whenever they entered the favela, that was never their mission.
There was no time to go on foot. The best I found was a float. It was a modified Volkswagen Brasília. The guys put a cart on the back for someone to dance on. It was all colorful, full of lights, flowers, and leaves.
Karnicera arrived with as many people as he could gather, those who are part of the community assembly and help keep the peace in the favela. The more people to talk, the better.
They arrived desperate, asking me what was happening.
"I don't know, I don't know. We just need to go down quickly and talk to those guys down there," I replied.
"So get in, River," one of them said, already pulling the front seat forward so I could get in the back.
"No," Karnicera stopped me, putting his hand on my chest. "Get on top, River. That way you can see better what's happening."
He looked into my eyes and waited for my answer.
"No," said someone, pushing me inside. "River will be safer here with us. I'll go on top if needed."
"Go on, boss," Karnicera said. "From up there, you can see everything."
"Alright, I'll go on top. Get in, and we'll go down."
The others disagreed but accepted. There was no reason to worry anyway. What's the probability of a stray bullet, right?
The good thing is that gravity would help, since we'd have to go down the hill in a straight line down Avenida Brasil, heading straight for the celestial carriage, the angels' armored car.
But there were many people in the way, and even honking like crazy, they wouldn't get out of the way, until the panic started.
I couldn't see what was happening down there, but I heard the gunfire. It seemed to come from all sides. Tear gas bombs started being thrown in all directions, dispersing the people.
"Speed up!" I shouted to Karnicera. "Speed this thing up!"
I don't know if he heard me, but with the chaotic situation, he started going down like a maniac. People scattered everywhere, running like ants, not knowing what to do or where to go.
I just wanted to get to the little schoolhouse. Going at full speed, we cut through the smoke, and the view became clear again. But sometimes, I wish I hadn't seen what came next.
Coming from all sides, in their white uniforms and black skull-shaped helmets, the angels invaded the favela, with rifles, grenades, and God knows what else.
Weapons with the best technology available, accompanied by the celestial carriage, coming towards us, calmly, but shooting everywhere as if it were a game.
Around the favela, there seemed to be other invasions too, but not even the angels would have that many members. It was as if everyone decided to attack us all at once.
At that moment, I just wanted to get to the school and talk to the operation's leader. But as soon as we stopped at the entrance, I managed to see the children through the window of the main classroom, but I couldn't get out.
I looked towards the carriage, all black, with giant wheels, with a kind of machinery in the front that served to provide traction on any terrain. With its frightening shape, full of skulls scattered over its body.
On top, one of the angels carrying a missile launcher pointed it in our direction. (And I was worried about a stray bullet.)
There was no time for negotiation, for conversation, to understand what was happening. If there was anyone in that city who posed no danger to everyone, it was our favela. At least that's what I thought. Oh, how naive I was.
Just as the angel was about to fire, someone hit his arm, as if trying to stop him from hitting us. It all happened so fast, I just felt the wind blow on my face. The missile flew in another direction and exploded. I didn't want to look towards the explosion, but I knew exactly where it hit.
I just heard the children's screams, the crying, the pleas. I wanted to get out of that vehicle and help them, but I felt paralyzed, helpless, disbelieving the scene.
Before I could gather courage and move, the angel who had stopped that missile from hitting us, the one I thought was my guardian angel, drew a weapon. A weapon I knew well. A weapon that was engraved in my mind and in my heart.
He aimed at me and fired. I thought I was crazy, because the bullet seemed to glow with a fluorescent green. The impact on my chest was so strong that I flew backward.
Everything was so slow. It was as if I were floating, hovering in the air. Everything around me was paralyzed, almost in slow motion. Everything was colorful, psychedelic, surreal.
The raindrops seemed to caress me, one by one, and I could see the entire path the lightning drew in the dark sky.
That sky began to open up, and like in a horror movie, an old, cracked skull began to approach me. It had a monstrous, bloodthirsty smile. From its lower part, gigantic purple tentacles began to emerge, tattooed with skulls. The skull had a yellow halo, bright like the sun, but which slowly turned into two black horns.
Its eyes were purplish, the color of overclock. It seemed to be overdosing, but still, its eyes were fixed on me. It was missing teeth, as if it were rotting, but at the same time, some were made of solid gold.
From its mouth dripped a fluorescent green drool, which formed a mist that accompanied its movement, forming skulls in the bright smoke.
The tentacles were also rotting, but they followed its commands. Its eyes, as if they were a single creature, ready to attack me.
I felt suffocated, as that evil came closer and closer. From the middle of the skull's forehead, a third eye emerged, like an opening. A strong light came out of it. I felt like my life was over.
The children's cries and screams ceased. The flash blinded me and deafened me. I couldn't feel any part of my body anymore. My senses were erased...
I think I died...
The end.
Deep down, what I always wanted was a place
With a beautiful lawn, green like the sea
People chilling, full of hope
Flying kites and surrounded by children
Where we could have a piece of land in the woods,
without luxury, barefoot, and swimming in the stream,
without hunger, picking some fruit from the branch,
But not everyone shared this idea,
It seems what they wanted
Was fear, violence, sadness, and misery.
But legend has it that before we die, we see our whole life passing before our eyes, like a big movie, a fairy tale, or a comic book.
Mine didn't last long, but it started something like this: