[The Sacred See · Forbidden Catacombs]
In this subterranean void where even the purest sunlight could not penetrate, the stench of decay reigned supreme. It was a thick, cloying odor, far sweeter and more nauseating than any temple incense.
The Red Archbishop stood motionless before an altar etched with forbidden runes. His withered, skeletal fingers clutched a wax-sealed letter—top-secret intelligence from the "Spies" embedded within the royal palace. A flicker of sickly fervor burned in his clouded eyes.
Riiip—!
Without warning, the Archbishop's pious, elderly visage began to twist violently. Thick, dark mucus oozed from his reddening eye sockets. Suddenly, a massive black claw erupted from beneath his scarlet robes with the stomach-turning sound of snapping bone! Covered in oily, obsidian scales, its talons sliced through the air like red-hot blades, leaving scorched gashes on the marble floor.
In mere seconds, the man of faith was gone. In his place stood an Abyssal Horror, its neck twisting with a sickening "crack" as multiple green compound eyes flickered with malevolence.
"Hehe... The Pope is still deep in seclusion, perfecting the Eternal Life Incantation. At this critical moment, the 'Key' has finally arrived." The monster's voice was a dry rasp, sounding like rusted iron plates grinding together. "Everything is in place."
From the shifting shadows, the Fake Demon King emerged. His massive greatsword dragged across the stone floor, kicking up sparks and the sharp scent of brimstone. He looked bored, his presence a heavy weight in the freezing air.
"I heard the Savior summoned by the King—the one that cost him the last of the royal treasury—is a complete and utter dud?" the Fake Demon King asked, his voice a low, echoing bass.
"A dud? He's unrecyclable trash!" The Monster Bishop swung his massive black claw, flicking the letter toward the demon like a piece of refuse. "His initial Stamina is a pathetic 3! When the boy, Xiao Yu, was tested in the Great Hall, the magical resonance was so weak the crystal ball nearly cracked from sheer mockery. The old King has fallen into total despair. He tossed the boy into the borderlands like common garbage. He's likely fighting stray dogs for scraps as we speak."
"Stamina 3?" The Fake Demon King let out a harsh, barking laugh that echoed through the catacombs. "Does the Great One truly intend to use such a loser as a vessel? I doubt he could survive even a single baptism of the Holy Relic before bursting into a puddle of gore."
"You misunderstand. The Great One demands 'Absolute Purity.' Only a blank slate like this pathetic boy is fit for a divine descent." The Bishop's compound eyes flashed with cold malice. "Send the word! Awaken the sleeper agents! Initiate the 'Apocalypse Script.' Let the hidden monsters rise and bring total destruction. I want this world drowning in despair within three days. Let fear be their only food."
The Bishop paused, his grotesque face twisting into a terrifyingly hypocritical smile. "Meanwhile, send the missionaries to the streets! Ring every holy bell in the land! Announce to the masses: 'The Chosen Hero, Xiao Yu, has descended! He is the one and only Hope of this world!' We shall build him up as a god, feed him the Holy Relics, and let the people worship his every step. Once his body is tempered to perfection by faith and holy power, the Pope shall emerge and 'move in' to this perfect new skin."
"The Apocalypse Playbook... my favorite game." The Fake Demon King vanished into a cloud of black mist, leaving only a chilling echo behind.
[Border Town · By the Haystack]
The setting sun painted the wilderness in shades of decaying gold and crimson.
A world away from the dark conspiracies, Xiao Yu was sprawled lazily on a stinking haystack. He was focused entirely on picking bits of Thunder-Clap chicken out of his teeth with a twig. Every time he shifted, another thread of the black rags he called "clothes" snapped.
Mia was beside him, shoveling a drumstick into her mouth with reckless abandon. Her face was a mess of grease, and her mismatched eyes held no room for world-ending plots—only for the next bite of meat.
Xiao Yu looked at her with his typical dead-fish eyes and poked her head. "Hey, Mia. Back where I come from, the stories say vampires are these delicate things that turn to ash in the sun. You've been running around with me all day, and instead of turning to dust, you've actually managed to get a tan. Plus, you never mention blood; you only care about buns and fried chicken. Are you a 'bootleg' vampire or something?"
Mia glared at him, wiping her mouth like a stray cat. "You're the bootleg Hero! You have 3 Stamina, but did I complain?" She shook a tiny fist, looking genuinely offended.
"I'm an anomaly! Okay? An anomaly! The smell of blood makes me want to vomit, and I have zero mana. I don't have any of those cool traits like turning into a bat. I'm naturally immune to sunlight, and my body is just like a human's—probably even weaker! That's why the elders back home wanted to dissect me for research. They wanted to see if I was some failed mutation. I had to steal some rations and run away just to keep my skin..."
Her eyes dimmed as she spoke, her voice turning quiet and heavy. She squeezed the chicken bone in her hand until it cracked.
(She did not know that her hatred for blood and her insatiable hunger for food were the primary symptoms of the awakening of the legendary "Progenitor of Gluttony." Within that small, seemingly useless body slept an appetite capable of devouring gods.)
"Alright, alright. A vampire who's afraid of blood and a Hero with 3 Stamina. We really are the perfect 'Loser Duo,' aren't we?" Xiao Yu chuckled, shifting into a more comfortable position. "Anyway, saving the world is too much work. For a guy like me, eating and sleeping is the only way to live. Since you're here for the food and I'm here for the naps, let's just make do."
Xiao Yu looked down at his "fully ventilated" outfit and sighed. "But seriously, Mia, our first priority tomorrow is clothes. In this state, even the stray dogs are looking at me like I'm a public indecency charge waiting to happen. If this keeps up, the local guards will arrest me before the Demon King even gets a chance to find me."
"Xiao Yu! Tomorrow, I want to eat beef! Thick, juicy beef!" Mia's sadness vanished instantly at the mention of food.
"Fine, fine. New plan: first, we find work for clothes. Then, we hunt for beef."
The sun set as a corner of the world began to crumble, while these two outcasts planned nothing but their breakfast and a future that actually covered their butts.