Natsu woke up face-first on a hard wooden bench.
He blinked the sleep out of his eyes, rubbing his sticky, dirt-caked cheek. The tavern noise was already booming around him. Chairs scraping. Men laughing. The smell of stale ale and fried eggs hitting his nose. Then, his brain finally kicked into gear.
The forest. The rain. The tall guy in the white robes who tapped his head with a stick.
Natsu bolted upright, his dark eyes scanning the room until they locked onto the bar counter. Merlin was sitting right there on a high stool, lazily spinning a half-empty cup of juice on his finger.
"YOU!" Natsu screamed, leaping off the bench.
He sprinted straight across the tavern floor, his little fists bursting into bright, roaring flames. He didn't care about the mages ducking out of his way. He lunged right onto the footrest of the bar, slamming his fire fists down onto the wood.
"Fight me, you white-coat jerk!" Natsu yelled, tears of frustration gathering in his eyes. "Tell me where Igneel is or I'll burn your stupid cape off!"
Merlin didn't even put his cup down. He didn't even turn his head. As Natsu threw a wild flaming right hook at his jaw, Merlin just casually extended his left index finger.
Flick.
His finger tapped Natsu right on the nose. The tiny impact hit like a solid iron bar, blasting the kid backward. Natsu went flying across the aisle, hitting the floorboards and rolling three times before slamming against a table leg.
"Ow!" Natsu barked, rubbing his nose. But he didn't quit. He scrambled right back to his feet, his teeth bared as his fire flared higher. "I'm not done yet!"
He charged again, leaping through the air with a flaming kick. Merlin casually lifted the blunt end of his wooden staff, catching Natsu straight in the gut mid-air. Thwack. The air left Natsu's lungs in a loud gasp as he bounced off the staff and hit the dirt floor face-first.
For three straight minutes, it was the exact same story. Natsu charged, screamed, threw fire, and got effortlessly swatted away. He bounced off tables, hit the floor, and slid into walls. Merlin just kept sipping his juice, completely bored, dodging the kid's wild swings by simply tilting his head an inch.
Panting heavily, Natsu slumped on his knees, his fire completely fizzling out from pure exhaustion. He couldn't even touch the edge of the guy's sleeve.
Furious, humiliated, and completely out of breath, Natsu whipped his head around, looking for anyone else to smash.
Right across the aisle, Gray Fullbuster was sitting at a table, leaning his cheek on his palm and letting out a loud, obnoxious snort. "Wow. You're completely pathetic, matchstick. You look like a floppy fish flopping around in the dirt."
Natsu's veins practically popped on his forehead. "What did you say to me, droopy-eyes?!"
"I said you're weak!" Gray yelled, standing straight up from his chair.
"I'll break your face!" Natsu screamed.
He lunged straight across the table, throwing a wild fist caked in mud. Gray didn't flinch. He brought both of his hands together, a sudden shield of frosty ice snapping into existence right over his forearms. Natsu's fist slammed into the ice with a hard CRACK, the impact throwing them both sideways into the center aisle.
Within two seconds, the tavern floor turned into an absolute, chaotic childhood brawl. They weren't using high-level magic; they were just throwing raw, messy fists, pulling hair, and biting. Natsu tackled Gray over a wooden bench, sending a basket of clean laundry flying. Gray scrambled up, threw a heavy wooden chair straight at Natsu's head, and tackled him right back into the dirt.
"Get off me, underwear boy!" Natsu roared, trying to punch Gray's shoulder.
"Stop biting my jacket, you freak!" Gray screamed back, yanking Natsu's pink hair.
"MY TABLES! THEY'RE BREAKING MY BRAND NEW OAK TABLES!"
Master Makarov jumped straight onto the top of the bar counter, his face turning a dangerous, bright crimson color as he watched a chair leg splinter into pieces. He started violently tearing at his own hair, his mustache twitching in absolute panic. "Merlin! Do something! The guild budget is already in the toilet this month! Stop them before they break the chimney!"
Merlin just leaned his elbow on the counter, looking at the two rolling kids with a lazy smirk. "Relax, old man. They're just stretching their legs."
"They're destroying the floorboards!" Makarov shrieked.
Merlin sighed, his eyes drifting over to the corner booth. Erza was sitting there quietly, completely ignoring the screaming and the flying chairs as she focused entirely on eating a small slice of strawberry cake. Her rusted armor was clinking slightly against the bench.
"Hey, tin can," Merlin called out, waving a dismissive hand toward the brawl. "Go clean up the floor."
Erza stopped her fork mid-air. She set it down perfectly flat against the plate.
She stood up from the bench, her single brown eye narrowing into a dangerous, icy stare as she looked at Natsu and Gray rolling through a puddle of spilled ale.
Under her skin, Erza forced the Ethernano straight out of her magic container, guiding the energy inward to lock directly into her leg muscles. The Body Enchantment snapped into place.
Before Natsu or Gray could even swing their next punch, Erza vanished.
She turned into a literal blur of pure speed, completely disappearing from the corner booth. In the next millisecond, she materialized right in the middle of the aisle, standing directly between the two fighting boys. Her small hands shot out like lightning, grabbing Natsu's collar with her left hand and Gray's jacket with her right.
"Hey! Let go of—" Gray started.
BANG.
Erza violently yanked both of their bodies forward, cracking their skulls straight together right in the center of the aisle. The impact made a brutal, ringing sound that echoed through the rafters.
The fighting stopped instantly. Both Natsu and Gray dropped straight onto the floorboards like sacks of potatoes. They sat there in the dirt, clutching their foreheads as two massive, throbbing red lumps rapidly grew on their skulls.
"Ow... my brain..." Gray groaned, curling into a ball as tears of pain hit his face.
Natsu was completely dazed, his eyes spinning in circles as he tried to sit up. "Who... who hit me with a rock...?"
Erza stood over them, crossing her arms tightly over her rusted iron chest-plate. She glared down at them with absolute, terrifying authority.
"If either of you breaks another chair in this tavern," Erza hissed, her voice dropping into a cold tone that made Gray instantly freeze in terror, "I am personally dragging you both to the library to stack heavy ledgers until your arms fall off. Do you understand me?"
Gray scrambled backward on his butt, nodding frantically, his tough-guy act completely dead. Natsu clutched his aching forehead, looking up at the scary red-haired girl in absolute shock. He had never seen anyone move that fast, and he had definitely never been hit that hard by a girl.
Behind the counter, Merlin let out a loud, obnoxious burst of laughter, slamming his hand hard against the wood. "Beautiful form, kid! See, old man? I told you she had it handled."
Erza didn't smile. She just picked up her fork, sat back down at her booth, and went right back to eating her cake, while Natsu and Gray just sat in the mud, glaring at each other through the pain.