Elena knew Xavier does not appreciate her presence but desperate to fulfill some part of her vows,She followed him upstairs, she wanted to be something to him, something significant she knocked softly on the master bedroom door.
Silence,She turned the knob and slipped inside,she peeped left abd right before she moved forward and gently closed the door.
Xavier's coat was discarded on the bed thrown down with the sane insignificant he had just showed her , she coukd hear the sound of the running water from the bathroom.
Moving forward quickly to avoid confrontation, she picked up his coat and placed it gently in the laundry basket,she stepped into the walk in closet, her heart racing like it was about to jump out of her chest . She selected a fresh black T-shirt and a Silk pajamas. She laid them neatly on the edge of the bed and prepared to leave before he comes of of the shower.
The bathroom door suddenly creaked open.
Elena froze, The moment Xavier stepped out of the bathroom , A cloud of steam trailing behind him, He was wearing nothing but a low slung towel that dropped a little below his waist. His Greek God pyshique dripping with droplets of water. He was drying his hair coming out of the bathroom.
Elena's breath hitched. He was devastating handsome even when he is angry.
"What are you doing here ?" His cold low but vibrating with a new level of hostility.
"Hm…i…i just laid out your clothes and was about going to my room"she managed to say, her eyes darting anywhere but his face.
His brow furrowed in a deep scowl" I told you Elena,Don't waste your time.This" He gestured between them" -changes nothing . You are not my wife, I don't want you touching my things and meddling in my life."
His rejection was so blunt and firm, it made her dizzy . To him her touch was a contamination and a jinx. She turned back to leave before his words stopped her.
"And from now on, stay out of this room,I don't want you in my room or near me. Are we clear?" His eyes narrowed as he looked at her.
Elena lowered her head , The shadows of the room feels like thst are closing in on her as he heart couldn't produce enough oxygen,but she held herself, she did never cry in front of him.
"Perfectly clear" She whispered before walking out.
Her legs were too heavy to walk fast,so she could only pick them one after the other, She starggared to her room with Xavier's words still echoing in her head. She placed her hands on her stomach as her mind travelled far away from her body, She knew she shouldn't have accepted this marriage, but deep down in her though she wished that he would come to love her during their marriage. As she walked into her room she went straight to the couch wrapping her hands around her belly as her tears dropped as a wave of loneliness ceased over her.
.....
Elena bolted from the bed barely making it to the bathroom, her hands clamped over her mouth as she collapsed in front of the sink, she retched until her throat burned , but that had become her agonizing routine, she produced nothing but bitter saliva.
She slumped against the cold porcelain feeling dangerously weak and in that moment the feeling of loneliness washed over her.
She was carrying his child,yet she felt like a ghost haunting his halls , she couldn't fathom how a man could be so indifferent to the life she carried. If he never cared for her, couldn't he at least care for the Blackwell's heir.
Desperate for attention, she often had to rely on a friend to bring her food or supplies, she was too afraid to ask for anything in his house,it felt like prison to her.
When the world finally stopped spinning, Elena dragged herself up, She was out of energy and her throat raw from vomitting. Instead of retreating back to the safety of her blankets, she ventured into the hallway to find some water.
She had just stepped out of her room, when the master bed room door strung open.
Xavier stood there.
Panic flared in her chest as his gaze swept over her, the sudden froze them both as Elena's heart hammered in shock, Xavier's expression rapidly hardened into a mask of coldness, Elena felt the temperature in the hallway shift as his eyes darkened fixed intensely on her chest.
She looked down and a gasp escaped her. She was wearing a thin white night gown…No bra… No protection, she had taken her jack off this morning when everything felt heavy.
The morning chill and her own agitation has made her n***les visible through the soft fabric.
Even without a mirror she knew her face would be a mixture of redness and messiness. Without a word she spun on her heels abd retreated back into her room without giving Xavier another look, slamming the door behind her.
She pressed her palm on her cheeks " why are you embarrassed?, you are having a child together" she scolded herself. But that didn't help, Their only intimate night has been a blurred drunk memory. They both were strangers who happened to have shared a night together and the Shame of it was still fresh.
With a trembling hand, Elena put on a heavy robe and cinched the belt making sure it was tight enough before daring to step out again, By the time she reach the stairs Xavier has always left only his car horn alerted her of his disappearance.
Elena knew every encounter with him was a reminder of her been insignificant,Taking a shuddering breath she sighed as she placed her hands on her belly.
"Your father …..he will accept us eventually okay,bear with mommy for a while" She assured the baby in her belly.
But the lie tasted bitter.