Chapter Seventy-Six
Jealousy
The country house. Three months after the honeymoon. Spring.
Lilith had never been jealous.
For ten thousand years, she had no reason to be. She owned her servants. She consumed her lovers. She was the center of every universe she entered. No one left her. No one wanted to leave her. No one could leave her.
But now she was human.
And humans get jealous.
---
The morning – Breakfast.
David had a coworker.
Her name was Sarah. She was thirty-two, blonde, brilliant, and beautiful. She worked in the same office, on the same floor, on the same projects. She laughed at David's jokes. She touched his arm when she talked to him. She brought him coffee in the morning—his favorite, black with one sugar.
Lilith had never met her.
But she hated her.
"You're quiet," David said.
He sat across from her at the kitchen table. Eggs. Toast. Coffee. A normal breakfast for a normal couple.
"I'm thinking."
"About what?"
"About Sarah."
David paused, his fork halfway to his mouth.
"Sarah? My coworker Sarah?"
"Yes."
"What about her?"
"Do you find her attractive?"
"Lilith—"
"Do you?"
He set down his fork.
"She's attractive. In the way that many people are attractive. But I'm not attracted to her. There's a difference."
"Is there?"
"Yes. I'm attracted to you. I married you. I love you."
"Then why does she touch your arm?"
"She's friendly."
"Why does she bring you coffee?"
"She's being nice."
"Why does she laugh at your jokes?"
"Because she has a sense of humor."
Lilith stood.
"I don't like it."
"Lilith—"
"I said I don't like it."
She walked out of the kitchen.
Left David alone with his eggs and his coffee and his confusion.
---
The garden – Afternoon.
Lilith knelt among the flowers.
Her hands were in the dirt. Her knees were wet. Her eyes were burning.
She had not cried in ten thousand years. Not since before the hunger. Not since she was a woman who could still feel without consuming.
But now the tears were coming.
"Lilith."
She looked up.
Marcus stood at the edge of the garden.
"What do you want?"
"David called me. He's worried about you."
"I'm fine."
"You're not fine. You're jealous. And you don't know how to handle it because you've never been jealous before."
"I've been alive for ten thousand years. Of course I've been jealous before."
"Have you? Or have you just taken what you wanted, when you wanted it, without ever having to worry about someone choosing someone else?"
Lilith was silent.
"That's what I thought."
Marcus knelt beside her.
"Jealousy is normal, Lilith. It's human. It means you care. It means you're afraid of losing something precious."
"I'm not afraid."
"Yes, you are. You're terrified. Because for the first time in your existence, you can't force someone to stay. David is with you because he wants to be. And that means he could choose to leave."
"He wouldn't."
"No. He wouldn't. But the fact that he could is what's scaring you."
Lilith's tears fell into the dirt.
"What do I do?"
"You talk to him. You tell him how you feel. You trust him. And you let yourself be vulnerable."
"I don't know how to be vulnerable."
"Then learn."
Marcus stood.
"He's in the kitchen. Go."
---
The kitchen – Evening.
David sat at the table.
The eggs were cold. The toast was stale. The coffee was bitter.
He had been sitting there for hours.
"David."
He looked up.
Lilith stood in the doorway.
Her hands were dirty. Her knees were wet. Her eyes were red.
"I'm sorry," she said.
"For what?"
"For walking out. For not talking to you. For being jealous."
"You don't have to apologize for feeling things."
"I don't know how to feel things without consuming them."
"Then let me help you."
He stood.
Walked to her.
Took her dirty hands in his clean ones.
"Tell me what you're feeling."
"Angry. Scared. Hungry."
"Hungry for what?"
"For you. For your attention. For your reassurance."
"You have it. You've always had it. You'll always have it."
"Then why does she touch your arm?"
"Because she's friendly. And because she doesn't know that it bothers you. I can tell her to stop."
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because then I'll look crazy."
"You're not crazy. You're in love. And love makes us do strange things."
He kissed her forehead.
"I'm not going to leave you, Lilith. I'm not going to cheat on you. I'm not going to stop loving you. Not for Sarah. Not for anyone. Not ever."
"How do I know that?"
"You don't. That's what trust is. You choose to believe me. Every day. Even when it's hard. Even when you're scared. Even when the old hunger whispers that you should take instead of trust."
She wept.
He held her.
And in the kitchen of their country house, with the cold eggs and the stale toast and the bitter coffee, Lilith learned something she had never known.
Trust.
---
The bedroom – Night.
They made love differently that night.
Not tender. Not gentle. Desperate.
David pushed her against the wall. His hands were in her hair. His mouth was on her throat. His cock was pressed against her stomach.
"I need you," he said.
"I know."
"I need to feel you. To taste you. To claim you."
"Then do it."
He lifted her.
Wrapped her legs around his waist.
Entered her in one motion.
She gasped.
"Like this?" he asked.
"Yes."
"Faster?"
"Yes."
"Harder?"
"Yes."
He fucked her against the wall.
Hard. Fast. Desperate.
She came around him.
Not a sigh. A scream.
He came inside her.
They slid to the floor.
"That was—"
"I know."
"Why did we do that?"
"Because we needed to. Because I needed to remind you that you're mine. Because you needed to remind me that I'm yours."
"I'm yours," he said. "I've always been yours. I'll always be yours."
"I know."
"Do you?"
"Now I do."
They lay on the floor.
The candles burned low.
The world was quiet.
---
The office – The next day.
Lilith walked into the building.
She had never been to David's office before. She had never wanted to. But today she needed to see. To know. To trust.
"Can I help you?" the receptionist asked.
"I'm here to see David."
"Your name?"
"Lilith. His wife."
The receptionist's eyes widened.
"Right this way."
---
David's desk was in the corner.
Photographs on the wall. A plant on the windowsill. A coffee mug that said World's Okayest Husband—a gift from Lilith, last Christmas.
And Sarah.
She was leaning against his desk, laughing at something he said. Her hand was on his arm.
"David."
He looked up.
"Lilith? What are you doing here?"
"I came to bring you lunch."
She held up a bag—sandwiches, chips, two apples. Normal. Human.
"That's... thank you."
Sarah stepped back.
Her hand left his arm.
"You must be Lilith," she said. "David talks about you all the time."
"Does he?"
"Yes. He's always saying how lucky he is."
"He is lucky."
Sarah laughed.
"I can see why he loves you."
Lilith looked at her.
Really looked at her.
She wasn't a threat. She was just a woman. A woman who was friendly and kind and lonely. A woman who touched David's arm because she had no one else to touch.
"Thank you," Lilith said. "For being nice to him. For bringing him coffee. For laughing at his jokes."
"Of course."
"But please don't touch his arm anymore. It makes me jealous."
Sarah's eyes widened.
Then she smiled.
"I can do that."
"Thank you."
David stared at her.
"What?" Lilith asked.
"Nothing. I just... I've never seen you like this."
"Like what?"
*"Human."
She kissed him.
In front of Sarah. In front of the receptionist. In front of everyone.
"I'm learning," she said.
---
The country house – Evening.
Lilith sat on the porch swing.
David sat beside her.
The sun was setting. The sky was orange and pink and purple. The world was beautiful.
"How do you feel?" he asked.
"Strange."
"Strange how?"
"Strange because I was jealous. Strange because I admitted it. Strange because I trust you now. Not because I have to. Because I choose to."
"That's growth."
"It's terrifying."
"Good. Fear means you're alive."
She leaned into him.
He put his arm around her.
"I love you," she said.
"I know."
"Say it back."
"I love you, Lilith. I love you. I love you. I love you."
"Again."
"I love you."
"Again."
She kissed him.
"I love you too."
The sun set.
The stars came out.
And Lilith—the former goddess, the former hunger, the former monster—sat on the porch swing, held by the man she loved, and felt something she had never felt before.
Security.
---
End of Chapter Seventy-Six