Zu Cheng
The next week, after I returned in the past, I had to study for the entrance exam for university. But this time I didn't choose 'finance' as a subject—I chose 'film studies'.
My parents were against me, as I predicted. They said I was gambling with my life and being a director wouldn't make money.
They said, "We love you. We care about you. That's why we want you to live the life you're supposed to. A straight path is better than a winding one."
They said they cared, but what they really cared about was bragging to relatives. Then why, in that future I remembered, after following their plan, getting the job, and sinking into depression, did they still call it drama, nothing serious? I don't understand which love and care they talk about. But I won't suffer again. This time, I'll choose my passion over their choice.
Unfortunately, sometimes I feel like they don't love me at all. They just want to fulfill their dreams through me only to brag about it.
To choose my passion, I ended up fighting with them. But I didn't back down. The first step to my future was to get into film directing, and for that, I had to pass Yikao—the national art exam.
In my previous lifetime, the same thing happened. I had already applied for Yikao back in December 2022 and even received the admit card, but when I came to him for his signature, he refused, no matter what I said. Back then, I couldn't resist. I just stood there, holding that paper in my right hand, desperate to chase what I loved, yet too much of a coward to fight for it. I accepted the life they chose for me and blamed fate for my misery.
NO… This time, it wouldn't repeat. I'll get his signature. But if he refuses, then I'll refuse to live the way he wants me to. When he said no, I stopped talking, skipped meals, and locked myself in my room. I studied harder than ever because I knew he'd have to give in sooner or later.
That's when one of my uncles came for a visit. After hearing everything, he told my father, "Children should do what they want to. Let him live as he wants; he is not a kid anymore."
You might wonder who he is—it's my father's younger brother, who absolutely didn't want me to succeed. So he didn't say all that out of goodwill but because he thought the truth would ruin my worth in the family, as I'll obviously end up as a broken man.
Then again, thanks to him, at least he helped me get my father's approval. My father trusts his brothers more than his son. When he signed my exam pass, it was clear he wasn't a typical cool dad who agreed because he saw the spirit of his child, but rather because his brother said so.
It hurt, but that's fine. Uncle doesn't know—I already have a plan. Despite his forced smile, he truly doesn't care. And my father, as always, was blind to it.
The next few days, I prepared as best as I could for the exam. I would be starting university early, having already completed high school ahead of schedule. I was 17, but the minimum age for university was 16, so it wasn't a problem. Some of my cousins had started early too; in modern China, it wasn't unusual.
It was 24th February 2023 when I finally began a change. The exam was held at many schools, including Beijing Huairou No. 1 High School, where I studied. I knew the test would be brutal for the normies. But for us? It was fun. I knew it! This exam was only for the creative ones—no place for the ordinary.
I felt confident as I navigated through it; everything seemed to fall into place.
The results came out on 14th March. I had ranked 15th. My relatives were shocked, but I wasn't.
On the other hand, Xie Mei had applied for Yikao in screenwriting, and she came in 17th place. We both made it into the top 20.
After seeing the results, my father finally accepted me and allowed me to do what I wanted. That didn't mean he would support me. He made that clear when he refused my request for a laptop for work.
At least he didn't resist when I bought one myself, using the money I earned from a part-time job at a cybercafé.
During that job, I met a guy named Ray, a British student who was into photography and editing as a hobby. He loved traveling and natural casting. During breaks, he would show me some of his work and travel blogs. I took the opportunity and got his contact info.
Over time, we became friends with similar tastes. He sometimes sent me natural images of animals and birds, while I helped him sort and organize excellent footage while he did the editing.
After a few days, he realized how curious I was and decided to teach me the basics of editing. A couple of months later, I had learned the fundamentals and even understood some actual editing techniques. Using my three months' wages and the savings I'd kept for years, I built my own PC setup—perfect for a beginner like me.
All these events happened while I spent three months preparing for the Gaokao—reviewing Chinese, math, English, and elective subjects; doing practice papers; and memorizing key concepts. At the same time, I juggled my part-time job, learned more about editing, explored camera techniques, and studied the elements I'd need for creative filming.
I was completely shocked when, a week before the Gaokao, my mother asked me if I needed any more parental signatures. She said they'd be gone for work from June 5 to 12, so I had to get any forms signed before the 5th.
It was shocking for two reasons. First, they were actually asking me if I needed their approval. Second, they knew exactly when the exam would take place.
That was growth I never expected from them. I didn't know whether to feel happy or worried about their unusual behavior.
Soon, it was 5th June, the day they were supposed to leave.
When I went downstairs to see them off, I saw Aunt Keima, my mother's Japanese cousin, talking to her. She's one of the few people in this family who genuinely cares about me.
As I approached, my mother said that Aunt Keima would take care of me until the 9th . That confused me.
I'd always been alone whenever they went away—so why now?
After they left, Aunt Keima turned to me and said, "All you need is proper food. No packaged snacks or instant meals until the 9th. You need to stay in your best health if you want to do well in the exams."
I just stared at her as she spoke. Before I could reply, she continued softly.
"Listen, la boy… your mom loves you. But in a family where everyone's so successful, she didn't want you to dig your own grave. She thought forcing you onto a safer path was the right thing. But now things are different. You've proved you can do something better. Even if she doesn't say it, she'll always be cheering for you."
Her words felt hollow at first. If she really loved me, why didn't she believe me? Why couldn't she see how much I was suffering?
But then… the thought hit me like a wave.
I remembered her voice saying, "Zu, you'll understand why…" I remembered the day she cried when I fainted from overwork.
Why? Why did it take me this long to realize? They never wanted me to fail—they just didn't want me to break. They forced me into a cage, thinking it was safety. They'd rather let me hate them than watch me ruin myself.
What type of typical crazy parents are they, huh? So bothersome! If you love me this much, why don't you put away your that pride in side and say that?
Anyway, I thanked Aunt for coming for me and then went upstairs. Well, I couldn't afford to lose now…