Damien asked Christabel a question he had never asked before.
Do you regret marrying me?
And her answer broke his heart.
---
It started like any other morning.
The sun was rising. The city was waking. Lena was laughing in her crib.
Christabel was in the kitchen, making coffee. Damien was watching her from the doorway.
"You're staring," she said.
"I'm admiring."
"Same thing."
"Different intention."
She smiled. The real one. The one that made his chest hurt.
"I love you," he said.
"I know."
"Do you? Do you really know?"
She walked to him. Took his face in her hands.
"I know. Because I love you the same way."
---
But something was different.
He could feel it.
A distance. A hesitation. A wall that hadn't been there before.
He had felt it for weeks. Maybe longer.
He had been afraid to ask.
But today, he couldn't stop himself.
"Christabel."
"What?"
"Do you regret marrying me?"
---
The room went silent.
The coffee maker beeped.
Lena laughed in the nursery.
Christabel's hands dropped from his face.
"Why are you asking me that?"
"Because I need to know."
"You know I love you."
"That's not what I asked."
She stepped back.
Put distance between them.
"I don't regret marrying you."
"Then why won't you look at me?"
She looked at him.
Her eyes were wet.
"Because I'm afraid of what you'll see."
---
He walked to her.
Took her hands.
"What will I see?"
"The truth."
"Then let me see it."
She was quiet for a long moment.
The city hummed below them.
Lena laughed again.
"I love you," she said. "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone."
"But?"
"But love isn't enough."
---
The words hung in the air.
Damien's hands tightened around hers.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that I've given up everything for you. My company. My name. My identity. I don't know who I am anymore."
"You're Christabel."
"I'm your wife. I'm Lena's mother. I'm the woman who builds cities."
"That's who you are."
"That's who I became." She pulled her hands away. "I don't know who I was supposed to be."
---
He was quiet for a moment.
The coffee maker beeped again.
Lena was calling for them.
"I should get her," Christabel said.
"Not yet."
"Damien—"
"Not yet."
---
He led her to the couch.
They sat down.
Not touching.
Not apart.
Somewhere in between.
"Tell me," he said.
"Tell you what?"
"The truth. All of it."
"You don't want to hear it."
"Yes, I do."
"It will hurt you."
"I'm already hurting."
---
She looked at him.
His dark eyes. His steady hands. His patient face.
She loved him.
She loved him so much it terrified her.
But love wasn't enough.
It had never been enough.
---
"I regret the night we met," she said.
His face didn't change.
But his hands clenched into fists.
"I regret getting in your car. I regret letting you take me. I regret giving up everything I was."
"You chose to."
"I chose to love you. I didn't choose to lose myself."
---
He stood.
Walked to the window.
Stared out at the city.
"You regret our daughter?"
"No." Her voice was firm. "Never. Lena is the best thing that ever happened to me."
"You regret our marriage?"
"I regret what it cost me."
"What did it cost you?"
"Everything."
---
He turned to face her.
"Then why did you stay?"
"Because I loved you."
"And now?"
She was quiet for a moment.
"Now I don't know."
---
The words hit him like bullets.
He walked to her.
Knelt in front of her.
Took her hands.
"You don't know if you love me?"
"I don't know if love is enough."
"Enough for what?"
"Enough to keep me here."
---
She was crying now.
Not the silent tears.
The kind that came from somewhere deep.
Somewhere that had been hurting for years.
"I'm sorry," she said.
"Don't apologize."
"I'm sorry I'm not who you thought I was."
"You're exactly who I thought you were."
"Then why are you disappointed?"
He touched her face.
"I'm not disappointed. I'm heartbroken."
---
Lena was crying now.
The sound drifted from the nursery.
Christabel stood.
"I need to get her."
"Not yet."
"She needs me."
"What about what I need?"
She looked at him.
"What do you need?"
"I need you to stay."
---
The silence was heavy.
Lena's cries grew louder.
Christabel walked to the nursery.
Damien stayed on the couch.
His hands were shaking.
His eyes were wet.
---
She came back with Lena.
The baby was in her arms.
Calmer now.
Holding Christabel's finger.
"She's hungry," Christabel said.
"I'll make a bottle."
"She wants to nurse."
He watched her sit on the couch.
Watched her daughter latch on.
Watched the woman he loved feed their child.
"How can you regret us," he asked, "when you look at her?"
Christabel looked at Lena.
Her dark eyes. Her tiny fingers. Her soft, perfect face.
"I don't regret her."
"Then what do you regret?"
She was quiet for a moment.
"I regret that I can't be the mother she deserves."
---
He walked to her.
Sat beside her.
"You're the mother she deserves."
"I'm falling apart."
"Then let me hold you together."
"You can't."
"Why not?"
"Because I need to learn how to hold myself together."
---
Lena finished nursing.
Fell asleep against Christabel's chest.
"She's out," Christabel said.
"She's perfect."
"She's ours."
Damien took Lena from her arms.
Laid her in the crib.
Then he walked back to Christabel.
Took her hand.
"Come with me."
"Where?"
"The garden."
---
They sat on the bench beneath the tree.
The rose was blooming.
Her mother's rose.
"I've been thinking about my mother," Christabel said.
"What about her?"
"She wrote me that letter. She said she was proud of me. She said she loved me."
"But?"
"But she waited too long. She waited until she was dying. She waited until it was too late."
"I don't want to wait until it's too late."
"Then don't."
---
He pulled her into his arms.
"I love you."
"I know."
"I love you in ways I didn't know I was capable of."
She touched his face.
"I know. Because I love you the same way."
"Then stay."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because I need to find myself."
"Find yourself here."
"I've tried."
"Try harder."
---
She pulled away.
Stood.
Walked to the edge of the garden.
"I'm not leaving you."
"You're not?"
"I'm leaving the cage."
"What cage?"
"The one I built around myself. The one you helped me build. The one I need to tear down."
He stood.
Walked to her.
"Then let me help you tear it down."
"You can't."
"Why not?"
"Because you're part of it."
---
She walked back to the house.
He followed.
She packed a bag.
Not much. Clothes. Books. The notebook.
"Where are you going?"
"Lenara."
"For how long?"
"I don't know."
"And Lena?"
"She stays with you."
"You're leaving her again?"
"I'm giving myself time to become someone she can be proud of."
---
He grabbed her arm.
Not hard.
Not soft.
Somewhere in between.
"You're already someone she can be proud of."
"I'm someone who's falling apart."
"Then let me help you."
"You can't."
"Why not?"
"Because you're the reason I'm falling apart."
---
The words hung in the air.
He let go of her arm.
Stepped back.
"What did I do?"
"You loved me too much."
"That's not possible."
"You loved me so much that you forgot I was a person. I became an extension of you. Your wife. Lena's mother. The builder of your empire."
"Our empire."
"Yours." She picked up her bag. "It was always yours. I was just living in it."
---
She walked to the door.
"Christabel."
She stopped.
Didn't turn around.
"If you walk out that door, I don't know if I'll be here when you come back."
She turned.
Her eyes were red.
Her face was wet.
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that I can't keep waiting for you to figure out who you are."
"I'm not asking you to wait."
"Then what are you asking?"
She was quiet for a moment.
"I'm asking you to let me go."
---
He walked to her.
Stood in front of her.
"I can't."
"Then I'll go anyway."
"The guards won't let you."
"The guards work for me."
He stared at her.
"What?"
"The guards. The ones you assigned to protect me. They work for me now."
"How?"
"I paid them. More than you. They're loyal to me now."
"You bribed my people?"
"I made them understand that protecting me meant protecting Lena."
---
He felt the ground shift beneath him.
She had planned this.
Not today. Not this week. For weeks. She had been planning her escape while lying beside him. While kissing him. While telling him she loved him.
"How long?" he asked.
"How long what?"
"How long have you been planning this?"
She was quiet for a moment.
"Since Lenara. The night I slept on the floor."
"You came back."
"I came back because I wasn't ready. Now I am."
---
He walked to her.
Stood close enough to touch.
"Don't do this."
"I have to."
"We can fix this."
"Can we?"
"Yes." He touched her face. "We've fixed everything. The enemies. The empire. The cities. We can fix us."
"Us isn't a city. Us isn't an enemy. Us is two people who want different things."
"What do you want?"
"I want to breathe." Her voice cracked. "I want to wake up without wondering if today is the day I lose myself completely. I want to raise our daughter in a place where she doesn't have to watch her mother fall apart."
"We can give her that."
"Not here." She looked around the penthouse. "Not in this world. Not with you."
---
He dropped his hand.
Stepped back.
"You're asking me to choose between you and the empire."
"I'm asking you to choose between me and the man you used to be."
"What's the difference?"
"The man you used to be would have let me go. He would have understood that love isn't about control."
"The man you used to be didn't have a daughter."
"The man you used to be didn't have anything to lose."
"That's not true." His voice was rough. "I had you. I've always had you."
"Not anymore."
---
She opened the door.
"Christabel."
She turned.
"I love you," he said.
"I know."
"That's not enough?"
"It's not enough to keep me here."
"Then what is?"
She looked at him.
Her eyes were wet.
Her face was broken.
"Nothing."
---
She walked out.
The door closed behind her.
Damien stood in the middle of the living room.
The penthouse was silent.
The city was bright.
The woman he loved was gone.
---
He didn't follow.
Didn't call.
Didn't send his people.
He just stood there.
Listening to the silence.
Feeling the weight of everything he had lost.
---
He walked to the nursery.
Lena was sleeping.
Her tiny chest rose and fell.
"Your mother left," he whispered.
Lena didn't stir.
"She left because she needs to find herself."
He touched her cheek.
"I hope she comes back."
---
He sat on the floor.
His back against the crib.
His face in his hands.
He had built an empire.
He had built cities.
He had built a family.
And now it was falling apart.
---
The next morning, Christabel called.
Damien answered on the first ring.
"Where are you?"
"Lenara."
"The house?"
"The house."
"Is Lena okay?"
"She's fine."
"Are you okay?"
She was quiet for a moment.
"No."
---
He closed his eyes.
Pressed the phone tighter against his ear.
"Come home."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because I need to remember who I am."
"You're the mother of my child."
"I'm more than that."
"I know." His voice cracked. "That's why I need you."
---
She was quiet for a long moment.
The line hummed between them.
"I'll call you tomorrow," she said.
"Christabel—"
"I'll call you tomorrow."
She hung up.
Damien stared at the phone.
She had called him.
Not the other way around.
She had said she would call.
That was something.
That was hope.