Here is he fourteenth week, the war ended.
Not with a victory.
With a surrender.
And the person who surrendered was not their enemy.
It was them.
---
It happened on a Monday.
Christabel was in her office. The Kline acquisition was almost complete. The votes were secured. The money was ready. Victory was hours away.
But something felt wrong.
She couldn't explain it. Couldn't name it. Just a feeling. A heaviness in her chest. A voice in the back of her mind whispering that she was about to make a mistake.
She called Damien.
"I need to see you."
"I'm in a meeting."
"I don't care."
"What's wrong?"
"I don't know. Something. Everything. I need to see you."
He was there in twenty minutes.
---
He walked into her office.
Found her standing at the window.
Looking out at the city.
"What's going on?"
"I don't know."
"You said something was wrong."
"Something is wrong."
"What?"
She turned to face him.
"Us."
---
He walked to her.
Stood in front of her.
"What about us?"
"We're losing ourselves."
"How?"
"To the war. To the business. To the need to win."
"We're winning."
"Are we?" She touched his face. "Because I don't feel like a winner. I feel like I'm drowning."
"You're not drowning."
"Then why can't I breathe?"
---
He pulled her into his arms.
Held her tight.
"Then we stop."
"What?"
"The war. The business. The need to win. We stop."
"We can't just stop."
"Why not?"
"Because Kline will—"
"Let Kline."
She pulled back.
Looked at him.
"You're serious."
"I've never been more serious about anything."
"But the company—"
"The company can wait."
"The shareholders—"
"Can find someone else to terrorize."
"Our reputation—"
"Can survive a single defeat."
---
She was quiet for a long moment.
The city hummed below them.
Somewhere in the building, a phone rang.
"You're willing to lose?"
"I'm willing to stop."
"Those are different things."
"No." He shook his head. "They're the same thing. Winning means nothing if we lose each other."
"We're not going to lose each other."
"We will. If we keep going like this. If we keep prioritizing the war over our family."
"Our family is fine."
"Lena said her first word this morning."
Christabel's heart stopped.
"What?"
"Bah. She said it again. To me. While you were at work."
"I wasn't there?"
"No." He touched her face. "You weren't there."
---
She felt something crack inside her chest.
"I didn't know."
"I know."
"I've been so focused on the war—"
"We both have."
"I missed her first word."
"You missed her first word."
She started crying.
Damien held her.
---
"We need to stop," she said.
"We need to stop."
"Not pause. Not slow down. Stop."
"Yes."
"The war. The business. The need to win."
"Yes."
"For how long?"
"I don't know."
"And Kline?"
"Can wait."
"And the company?"
"Can survive."
"And us?"
He pulled back.
Looked at her.
"We can heal."
---
She called Sarah.
"Call off the acquisition."
"What?"
"Call it off. Tell Kline he wins. Tell the board we're done."
"Christabel—"
"Do it."
Sarah was quiet for a moment.
"Are you okay?"
"I will be."
"What about Damien?"
"He's okay too."
"The company—"
"Will survive."
Sarah sighed.
"Okay."
"Okay?"
"Okay. I'll make the calls."
"Thank you."
"Thank me later. After you've slept. After you've held your daughter. After you've remembered who you are."
---
Christabel hung up.
Looked at Damien.
"It's done."
"It's done."
"We lost."
"We stopped."
"Same thing."
"Different intention."
She kissed him.
"Let's go home."
---
They drove home in silence.
The city was bright. The streets were busy.
Lena was awake. The nanny was holding her.
Christabel took her daughter.
Pressed her face to Lena's soft hair.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
Lena cooed.
"I'm sorry I missed your first word."
Lena grabbed her finger.
Held on tight.
"I'm not going to miss the next one."
---
Damien stood in the doorway.
Watching.
"She loves you," he said.
"I know."
"She knows you're trying."
"I should be doing more than trying."
"You're doing everything."
"It doesn't feel like everything."
"It never does."
---
They spent the afternoon in the garden.
The flowers were blooming. The fountain was running. The city was spread out below them.
Lena was on a blanket. Staring at the sky.
"She's going to be a dreamer," Christabel said.
"Like her mother."
"She's going to be a fighter."
"Like her father."
"She's going to be unstoppable."
He put his arm around her.
"Like both of us."
---
That night, Lena slept through the night again.
Christabel woke at dawn.
Not panicked.
Peaceful.
She walked to the nursery.
Stood over the crib.
Lena was sleeping. Her tiny chest rose and fell. Her fingers were curled around the edge of her blanket.
"Good morning, little one," Christabel whispered.
Lena didn't stir.
"Your father and I stopped fighting today. Not because we lost. Because we chose to."
She touched the charm on her necklace.
You're yours first.
"Today," she said, "I'm going to remember that."
---
Damien found her in the kitchen.
Making breakfast.
Eggs. Toast. Coffee.
"You're cooking," he said.
"I'm trying."
"It smells good."
"It smells like breakfast."
He sat at the kitchen island.
Watched her move around the kitchen.
"You're staring," she said.
"I'm admiring."
"Same thing."
"Different intention."
She set a plate in front of him.
"I love you," she said.
"I know."
"I love you even when I don't know who I am."
He took her hand.
"I love you because you don't know who you are. Because you're trying to figure it out. Because you're not giving up."
"I wanted to give up."
"But you didn't."
"I almost did."
"But you didn't."
---
She sat beside him.
Ate her breakfast.
Talked about the future.
Not the distant future. The near future. The next week. The next month. The next small step.
"I want to be present," she said. "Not just for Lena. For you. For me."
"Then be present."
"I want to be a good mother."
"You already are."
"I want to be a good wife."
"You already are."
"I want to be myself."
He touched her face.
"Then be yourself. Whoever that is. Today. Tomorrow. Every day."
---
Lena woke at noon.
Crying. Hungry.
Christabel went to her.
Lifted her from the crib.
"Hi, baby," she said.
Lena cried.
"I know," Christabel said. "You're hungry. You're wet. You're cold. I'm sorry. Mommy's here now."
Lena stopped crying.
Looked up at her mother.
"Bah," she said.
Christabel laughed.
"That's right," she said. "Bah."