Chapter One Hundred Thirty: The College Applications
The letter arrived on a Friday afternoon, tucked between a magazine and a takeout menu.
Dear Parents,
Your child will be entering their junior year of high school in the fall. We invite you to attend a college preparation workshop on Tuesday, September 14th, at 7:00 PM in the school auditorium. Topics will include standardized testing, essay writing, and the application process.
Lina read the letter three times.
College applications.
Her babies were going to college.
She thought about the first day of kindergarten, the twins so small and scared, holding her hand, refusing to let go. She thought about the first day of middle school, the twins walking into the building with their friends, barely acknowledging her. She thought about the first day of high school, the twins telling her she could drop them off at the curb.
And now college.
She was not ready.
---
Lina showed the letter to Ethan that night.
They sat on the couch, the twins asleep, the penthouse quiet.
"College applications," Lina said. "They're going to college."
Ethan put his arm around her. "I know."
"I'm not ready."
"Neither am I."
Lina leaned into him. "How did this happen? They were just babies. They were just learning to walk. They were just saying their first words."
Ethan kissed her forehead.
"Time," he said. "It happens fast."
Lina's eyes filled with tears.
"I don't want them to leave," she said.
Ethan held her tighter.
"They have to," he said. "That's our job. To help them grow up. To help them become who they're meant to be."
Lina nodded slowly.
"I know," she said. "I just... I'm not ready."
"Neither am I. But we have to let them go."
---
The twins took the news differently.
Lily was excited. "College! I get to choose my own classes! I get to meet new people! I get to live on my own!"
Leo was less enthusiastic. "College means more homework. More pressure. More decisions."
Lina sat down between them.
"It means more opportunities too," she said. "More chances to learn. More chances to grow. More chances to find out who you want to be."
Lily nodded. "I want to study theater. I want to perform on Broadway."
Leo sighed. "I want to study physics. I want to understand the universe."
Lina smiled. "You can both have what you want. That's the beauty of college. You get to choose."
---
The college preparation workshop was crowded.
Parents filled the auditorium, their faces a mixture of excitement and anxiety. Lina and Ethan sat in the front row, holding hands.
The guidance counselor spoke about standardized tests and application deadlines and the importance of finding the right fit. The English teacher spoke about essay writing and personal statements. The college representatives spoke about their schools and their expectations.
Lina listened to all of it, her mind spinning.
SATs. ACTs. Deadlines. Essays. Recommendations. Decisions.
She was not ready.
But she had to be.
---
Lily threw herself into the process.
She researched colleges. She visited campuses. She wrote draft after draft of her personal statement. She asked teachers for recommendations. She practiced for the SATs.
Leo approached it differently.
He made a spreadsheet. He compared acceptance rates and financial aid packages and academic programs. He wrote his personal statement in one draft, edited it twice, and declared it finished.
"You're not going to revise it again?" Lina asked.
Leo shook his head. "It says what I need it to say."
Lina smiled. "That's my boy."
---
The application deadlines loomed.
Lily stayed up late, perfecting her essays, filling out forms, checking and rechecking her work. Leo finished early and spent his free time reading.
Lina watched them both and felt a strange mix of pride and sadness.
They were growing up.
They were finding their way.
They were becoming who they were meant to be.
---
The acceptance letters arrived in the spring.
Lily was accepted to her top choice—a prestigious theater program in New York City. She screamed when she opened the letter. She cried. She laughed. She hugged Lina and Ethan and Leo and Maya.
Leo was accepted to his top choice—a renowned physics program across the country. He nodded when he opened the letter. He smiled. He hugged Lina and Ethan and Lily and Maya.
"We did it," Lily said.
"We did it," Leo agreed.
They stood in the living room, holding their acceptance letters, their faces flushed with pride.
Lina cried.
Happy tears.
---
That night, after the twins were asleep, Lina sat on the couch with Ethan.
"How do you feel?" he asked.
"Empty," Lina said. "Not in a bad way. Just... empty. Like I've been carrying something for so long that I forgot what it felt like to put it down."
Ethan put his arm around her. "That's called pride."
"Is that what this is?"
"I think so."
Lina leaned into him.
"They're leaving," she said. "They're really leaving."
Ethan kissed her forehead.
"They are," he said. "But they'll come back. They'll always come back."
Lina closed her eyes.
She thought about all the years ahead. The challenges. The joys. The moments she would hold her children and the moments she would have to let them go.
She was not ready.
But she was learning.
And learning, she was beginning to understand, was the most important part of love.
---
End of Chapter One Hundred Thirty