Chapter Twenty-Three: The Anniversary
Victoria had been sober for one year.
Lina discovered this fact not from Victoria herself, but from a small, worn chip that fell out of Victoria's coat pocket one Sunday afternoon. The chip was bronze, slightly scratched, with the words One Year engraved on one side and the Serenity Prayer on the other.
Lina picked it up from the floor and held it in her palm.
"Victoria?" she called.
Victoria came in from the garden, her hands covered in soil, her face flushed from the sun. She saw the chip in Lina's hand and stopped.
"You weren't supposed to see that," Victoria said.
"Why not?"
"Because it's not a big deal."
Lina raised an eyebrow. "A year of sobriety isn't a big deal?"
Victoria looked away. "It's just... I don't like making things about me. I've spent so long being the center of other people's problems. I don't want to be the center of attention for something good."
Lina walked over and took Victoria's hands—dirty, trembling, real.
"This is a big deal," Lina said. "You should be proud of yourself."
"I'm not proud. I'm just... relieved. Relieved that I haven't messed up yet."
"Yet?"
Victoria's eyes glistened. "I think about drinking every day. Not because I want to. Because I'm afraid of wanting to. I'm afraid that one day I'll wake up and the wanting will be stronger than the not wanting."
Lina squeezed her hands. "That's why you go to meetings. That's why you have a sponsor. That's why you call someone when you're struggling. You're not doing this alone, Victoria."
Victoria pulled her hands away and wiped her eyes with the back of her wrist.
"I know," she said. "I know I'm not alone. But sometimes I forget."
"Then let me remind you."
Lina took Victoria's arm and led her to the couch. She sat her down, then went to the kitchen and made two cups of tea. She brought them back and sat beside her.
"Tell me about the chip," Lina said.
Victoria picked it up from the coffee table, turning it over in her fingers.
"I got it at my meeting last week," she said. "They give them out for milestones. Thirty days. Sixty days. Ninety days. Six months. Nine months. A year." She smiled, just a little. "I've been collecting them. I have them in a box under my bed."
"Can I see them?"
Victoria hesitated. Then she nodded.
She went to her apartment—which was, Lina noted, becoming more and more like a real home—and returned with a small wooden box. She set it on the coffee table and opened the lid.
Inside were chips. Bronze and silver and gold. Thirty days. Sixty days. Ninety days. Six months. Nine months. One year.
Lina picked up the thirty-day chip. It was the smallest, the simplest, but it looked the most worn. Victoria had held it the most.
"The first month was the hardest," Victoria said. "I wanted to drink every single day. I dreamed about it. I woke up reaching for a bottle that wasn't there. I went to meetings three times a day just to stay sane."
"How did you get through it?"
Victoria was quiet for a moment. Then she said, "I thought about Ethan. About the son I had failed. About the grandchildren I had never met. I thought about Marcus Webb's family. About the man I had killed—or thought I had killed. I thought about all the people I had hurt, and I told myself that I couldn't drink anymore. That I didn't deserve to drink anymore."
"And now?"
Victoria looked at the chips. She picked up the one-year chip and held it to the light.
"Now I think about you," she said. "About Lina. About the woman who gave me a second chance when I didn't deserve one. About the family that welcomed me even though I was a stranger. I don't want to let you down."
Lina's throat tightened.
"You're not going to let us down," she said. "Because you're not doing this for us. You're doing this for yourself."
Victoria looked at her.
"Maybe," she said. "Maybe I'm finally learning to do things for myself."
---
Lina decided to throw Victoria a small celebration.
Not a party—Victoria would have hated that. Just a dinner. Just the family. Just the people who loved her.
Ethan cooked. The twins made cards. Lina set the table with the good dishes and lit candles and put flowers in a vase.
Victoria arrived at six o'clock, dressed in a simple blue dress that Lina had never seen before.
"You look beautiful," Lina said.
Victoria touched her hair, self-conscious. "I wanted to look nice. For the occasion."
"It's just us."
"I know. That's why I wanted to look nice."
They sat down to dinner.
Ethan had made roast chicken and vegetables and a salad that the twins refused to eat. Lily spent the entire meal trying to feed Snowball under the table. Leo explained, in great detail, why black holes were actually not holes at all.
Victoria listened to all of it. She laughed at Lily's jokes. She asked Leo questions about space. She ate every bite of her dinner and thanked Ethan for cooking.
After dinner, Lina brought out a small cake.
It was not fancy—just a simple vanilla cake with white frosting and the words One Year written in blue icing. But Victoria looked at it like it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.
"You didn't have to," Victoria said.
"We wanted to," Lina replied.
The twins sang "Happy Birthday" even though it was not a birthday. Victoria blew out the candles. She made a wish.
She did not tell anyone what it was.
But Lina saw her look at Ethan. At the twins. At her.
And she knew.
---
After the twins were asleep, Lina and Victoria sat in the garden.
The stars were out, scattered across the sky like tiny diamonds. The air was cool and quiet.
"I used to look at the stars when I was in prison," Victoria said. "Through the window in my cell. I would try to find constellations. I would pretend I was somewhere else."
"Where did you pretend to be?"
Victoria smiled. "Here. With Ethan. With the family I had lost. I used to imagine that I was sitting in a garden, looking at the stars, and that everything was okay."
Lina looked up at the sky.
"And now?" she asked.
Victoria looked up too.
"Now I'm here," she said. "And everything is okay."
They sat in silence, watching the stars.
Lina thought about Victoria's journey—from the accident to the prison to the penthouse. From shame to sobriety to hope. From a woman who believed she was a monster to a woman who was learning to be human.
"I'm proud of you," Lina said.
Victoria turned to look at her.
"No one has ever said that to me before," she said. "Not like that. Not like they meant it."
"I mean it."
Victoria's eyes filled with tears.
"Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you for seeing me."
Lina took her hand.
"Thank you for letting me," she said.
---
The Next Morning
Victoria came to breakfast with a smile on her face.
She helped the twins get dressed. She made pancakes with chocolate chips. She read them a story about a brave little elephant who saved her family from a flood.
Ethan watched his mother from across the kitchen.
"She seems different," he said to Lina.
"She is different," Lina replied. "She's becoming herself."
Ethan was quiet for a moment. Then he said, "I'm glad. I'm glad she's here."
Lina put her hand on his arm. "Me too."
Victoria looked up from the storybook and caught them watching her.
"What?" she asked.
"Nothing," Lina said. "We're just happy."
Victoria smiled.
And for the first time in a very long time, she let herself believe that she deserved to be happy too.
---
End of Chapter Twenty-Three