To be honest, after hearing the whole story about Doctor Doom, even Tony—who considered himself someone who had seen it all and had started traveling between parallel universes at a relatively young age—had never imagined such a future waiting for him.
"So all that Terminator stuff I made up for Calson actually came true? I'm John Connor?"
In order to protect Joey's identity, Tony had spent quite a bit of effort copying the plot of The Terminator and turning it into a story that sounded believable. He never expected it to come true the very next day.
There really were people from the future trying to kill him.
"Who are these people that want me dead?"
"I can't tell you," Joey replied. "Because from the perspective of the past—or rather, our present—they haven't actually tried to kill you yet."
Joey deliberately withheld the Fantastic Four portion of the story for the same reason he had decided to be honest with Tony now: events that happen tomorrow should not dictate the choices people make today.
"Besides, technically you're not 'John Connor the savior.' You're more like 'Skynet the exterminator.' I'd bet every single person from the future wants to kill you."
Tony had just poured himself another glass of whiskey and hadn't even managed to take a sip before the revelation left him restless. He began pacing back and forth across the living room.
"The future version of me isn't me, okay?"
The more he thought about it, the angrier he became. He walked over and kicked the Terminator robot that Cyborg had sent him.
"Ow!"
The robot remained completely unmoved.
Tony, meanwhile, suffered a bruised foot and hopped back to the couch while suppressing the pain. Unable to vent his frustration on the robot, he redirected it toward Joey.
"This is all your fault. You never should've told me any of this!"
Looking at the irritated Tony, Joey wasn't exactly eager to argue back. After all, the root of the problem really did trace back to him.
A lot of self-help books like to say that happiness should be shared because every time you share it, it multiplies.
They also claim that burdens and confusion should be shared because one person's hardship becomes half a hardship when two people carry it together.
Joey was fairly certain that wasn't always true.
At least in this case, after sharing his worries with Tony, their troubles had simply doubled.
Originally, Joey had been the only one agonizing over the issue.
Now there were two of them.
If Tony decided to abandon the Amazo project because of this, Joey wouldn't force him.
"Listen, Tony. Building the Amazo robot isn't absolutely necessary. I'm sure I can find another way..."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
Tony immediately forgot about his throbbing toes, sprang off the couch, and snatched the Amazo core from Joey's hands before hugging it protectively.
"Why wouldn't we build it? Of course we're building it!"
At the moment, there simply wasn't a better solution than replicating the Amazo core. Tony knew that perfectly well.
Even if he refused to build it, someone else eventually would.
A dangerous technology like this was safest in the hands of a once-in-a-generation genius such as himself.
"JARVIS, start a full scan."
[Scanning... Scan complete. Data uploaded to the central console.]
Tony opened the projection display and looked at the scan results.
Then he froze.
"How the fuck am I supposed to build this thing?!"
Before he could elaborate, a familiar voice came from outside.
"What thing? Are you building something?"
Tony immediately hid the experimental data, slid the Amazo core beneath himself, and sat on it.
At the same time, a gust of wind swept through the room.
Superman vanished.
Coulson had arrived.
"It's... actually, never mind. Let's talk business."
Coulson had long since given up correcting people on the pronunciation of his name.
"Where's Superman?"
"I have never in my entire life—"
Coulson cut him off.
"Stop the nonsense, Tony. Cooperate for once. This is urgent."
"Oh, is it?"
Tony sprawled lazily across the leather sofa, looking completely uncooperative.
"Then maybe you should tell me what kind of emergency we're dealing with. If the story is interesting enough, I might suddenly remember where I've seen a guy called 'Superman.'"
After receiving authorization through the earpiece connected to headquarters, Coulson pulled up a stool from the bar and sat down.
"This may sound a little hard to believe, but I'll keep it brief."
"The story starts with a hammer..."
Having excused himself from Tony's mansion, Joey flew back toward Starfire and the group of Spider-People.
There was a reason he deliberately avoided dealing with S.H.I.E.L.D.
Interacting with massive organizations like that was usually all effort and very little reward.
S.H.I.E.L.D. itself was full of competing factions. Like the North American government, it also had deeper layers of authority hidden beneath the surface. The people visible at the top weren't necessarily the ones truly in charge.
Exchanging ten sentences with a one-eyed spymaster hiding inside some underground bunker was far less efficient than exchanging a single glance with someone like Tony Stark, who could make decisions on the spot.
Both Joey and Tony understood that.
Which was why every time S.H.I.E.L.D. came sniffing around, the only thing that ended up being wasted was Tony's time.
As for Joey?
Joey would simply say that his time was extremely valuable.
Though admittedly, he wasted plenty of it himself.
For example, right now he and Starfire were passionately wrapped up with each other at a place he once knew very well.
Inside a magnificent skyscraper at 725 Fifth Avenue in Midtown Manhattan, New York.
In Joey's first world, it had been the first stop on his heartbreak tour.
Now, in a strange way, it felt like returning to familiar ground.
Joey wasn't entirely sure how it had started.
After Starfire settled the Spider-People from the various universes, she had been in a noticeably bad mood.
So she simply grabbed Joey and led him to the nearest commercial center.
From Gucci to Prada, from cafes to bars, and somehow, by the end of it all, they had ended up in a luxurious penthouse apartment on the top floor.
Joey had simply responded instinctively to Starfire's desires.
Sometimes he found himself wondering what exactly the relationship between the two of them was.
"Don't overthink it. Just like in the beginning, we're simply two lonely people comforting each other."
It was as if...
No, she had genuinely read his thoughts.
As their contact and emotional connection deepened, they had long since reached the point where their hearts and minds were intertwined.
Joey could see Starfire's carefree joy as a young girl splashing through jungle streams on Tamaran.
And Starfire could experience more and more of Joey's emotions and memories in return.
Yet among those thoughts, beneath the hesitation, there was another disturbance—a faint note of static.
Starfire wasn't sure whether she should bring it up.
Her partner's past was shrouded in a hazy crimson mist of memories and emotions, something she instinctively didn't want to touch.
But one particular matter felt important enough that she had no choice but to ask.
"I can feel that you've slept with another woman. In this very place, haven't you?"
The moment Joey heard the first half of that sentence, his heart practically stopped.
When Starfire finished speaking, he was immediately dragged back to memories he would rather never revisit.
Although calling them the past was somewhat misleading.
It had happened less than a month ago.
Stormfront.
That hundred year old Nazi bitch.
She had been the one who taught Joey just how easy and satisfying killing could feel.
At the time, his desire for violence had rolled downhill like a boulder, nearly impossible to stop.
Now, looking back on that confusion, Joey was no longer trapped by it.
"That was a mistake I made during the strangest period of my life. I promise you, I've already fixed it."
On the contrary, Joey actually felt a trace of relief.
Relief that Starfire was asking about Stormfront—and not the other one...
Bang! Bang! Bang!
"Hey! Superman, Kal-El, Jojo, or whatever the hell your name is! You in there?!"
The heavy pounding on the penthouse door interrupted the two of them just as they were taking a brief rest before reconnecting.
"I don't care who you are..."
Joey's anger flared instantly.
He racked his brain but couldn't place the voice.
He had no idea who could have found him here—or why they knew all three of those names.
"You're fucking dead!"
His x-ray vision swept through the walls.
Yet for some reason, even through three doors, he couldn't clearly see the person outside.
Instantly switching into his Kryptonian armor, Joey signaled for Starfire to stay alert as well.
The person outside continued pounding on the door.
"Open up! It's me, your best buddy!"
That was the strange part.
Joey didn't remember having any best buddy.
Still, he already had his fist prepared, fully intending to introduce it to the man's face within 0.000001 seconds of opening the door.
With everything ready, Joey yanked the door open.
The foul smell that hit him was so overwhelming it made his scalp tingle.
"Oof—cough! Who let this homeless guy in here?! Security!"
The man standing outside was powerfully built, with a high nose bridge, deep blue eyes, and shoulder-length blond hair.
Unfortunately, that hair was caked with dirt and dust, tangled into a complete mess.
Despite it being winter in New York, he wore only ragged clothing and emitted a smell beyond description.
At that moment, the blond drifter's face shone with the unmistakable brilliance of someone who wasn't particularly bright.
He spread his arms wide, clearly intending to give Joey an enormous bear hug.
"Joey, my friend! I am no homeless man. I am Thor, God of Thunder."
Fortunately, Joey's reflexes were quick.
BAM!
He shut the door directly in the man's face.
"Fuck off!"
To be fair, it wasn't impossible.
Joey couldn't see through the man's body structure, and he certainly looked like a stereotypical Scandinavian.
The real question was why Thor knew him at all.
And what exactly did he want?
"My nose!"
Nearly having it flattened by the closing door, Thor clutched his nose with one hand while immediately resuming the pounding with the other.
"Don't be like that! I can explain!"
If this kept up, the damage was definitely coming out of the room deposit.
Having switched back into normal clothes, Joey reluctantly opened the door again.
"You have three seconds. Explain why you know me."
Outside, Thor casually leaned against the doorframe.
"This may sound a little difficult to understand, but I'll try to keep it brief. It all starts with my hammer—Mjolnir..."
It was a story about three heroes who drove back evil and defended Valhalla.
The three heroes were Thor son of Odin, the son of the sun Kal-El, and...
After determining that the visitor wasn't hostile, Starfire peeked out from the bedroom, ready to intervene if necessary.
"Joey, who is that?"
Thor heard a woman's voice and answered without thinking.
"Greetings, daughter of Zeus, Queen Diana of Themyscira. I am Thor, son of Odin."
Now then, where was he?
Ah yes.
The third hero was Diana of Themyscira, daughter of Zeus, and Kal-El's lov—
"SHUT UP!"
With a furious roar, Joey lunged at Thor, who was rattling off his relationships like a spilled bag of beans, seemingly determined to reveal the entire web of connections in one breath.
"I'm going to fucking end you!"
At this point, Joey still had no idea what was going on with the God of Thunder who had suddenly barged into his life, ruined the mood, and started bringing up his relationship with Diana right in front of Starfire.
He only knew one thing.
The woman standing here was Starfire.
Not Diana.
And thanks to Thor's spectacular inability to keep his mouth shut...
Joey was absolutely doomed.