Chapter 16: A Dream Too Real
The words floated through the fog of sleep, faint at first, like something half-remembered. "…ji…"
Huh? What was that?
I strained to catch it, but the sound slipped away again.
Then it came clearer, ringing soft and perfect against my ear. "…iji…!"
A voice so beautiful it could stop a man's heart, heavenly and clear, the kind that eased every knot in the soul. It reminded me of a music box left open in a sunlit window, notes drifting gentle and endless.
"Lirian!"
Oh. She was calling for me.
But exhaustion clung to my bones like wet wool. I just wanted to sink back under for a little longer.
I scrunched my face and rolled over, burrowing deeper into the bedding.
"Lirian, are you very tired?"
"Yeah…"
She let out a low, satisfied hum that vibrated warm against the air, unmistakably pleased. "Of course you would be…♥"
A heavy yawn cracked my jaw wide, the last dregs of sleep still weighing down my limbs.
So just a little more rest, Vespera. Just a tiny bit more.
Today the pull of sleep felt stronger than usual. My whole body lay heavy and unresponsive, every muscle sore in that deep, bruised way that made even breathing feel like work. A dull ache throbbed through my shoulders, my back, my thighs—places I couldn't remember straining. What could possibly have left me this wrecked?
.
.
.
'What the hell.'
Alarm spiked through me and I jerked upright, heart slamming against my ribs.
"Oh my, Lirian…? You didn't want to keep sleeping?"
Vespera's golden eyes widened, concern flooding her expression as she watched my sudden movement.
A sticky, crawling unease pressed over my skin, the kind nightmares leave behind like residue. I couldn't name it, but it sat heavy in my chest.
"Lirian… did you have a bad dream?"
"Ah, no…"
"Hmm… You really don't look well."
I forced my pulse to slow and let my gaze drift across the room. The table still held the supper I'd been waiting for. The same plush bed cradled me. The quiet hush of evening wrapped the chamber exactly as it had when I'd drifted off waiting for her return.
'W-wait… was it all just a dream?'
I tugged at the black devotee robes, fingers tracing the soft weave, inhaling the faint, familiar scent that clung to the fabric. No rips, no strange marks, no evidence of anything out of place. The nightmare's shadows refused to match the peaceful scene around me.
"Um… Your Holiness…"
"Yes, Lirian…♥"
I lifted my eyes to her face.
In the dream she had demanded I open my mouth by forcing something far more humiliating into me.
The memory flashed—her grip rough, her voice cold and commanding—and for one sick second the gentle woman in front of me overlapped with that version. The disconnect left me dizzy.
"Ah, it's nothing…"
"Heh…♥ Is something bothering you?"
Thank the saints, she was still my Vespera. Warm. Kind. The same Pope who had always held me like something precious.
Her fingers slid into my white hair, stroking slow and steady, and every last scrap of worry dissolved under that touch. The nightmare felt ridiculous now, distant and silly.
A shy warmth fluttered through my chest; I let a soft, uncertain chuckle slip out before I could stop it, shoulders twitching once as heat climbed my neck. Of course it had only been a dream. Vespera would never do those things.
We were family. Closer than that, even.
A relieved smile curved my lips.
While I'd waited for her I must have fallen into a long, ridiculous dream. Her arms around me under the excuse of perfume, teeth grazing my ear. A fork stabbed into the table over some imagined date request. Her mouth claiming mine with brutal force. All of it absurd, the kind of nonsense you laugh at once you wake up.
'Pfft! What kind of trashy novel plot was that… seriously…'
If I'd been stuck in a story like that I would have cursed the writer from the rooftops.
"Heh♥ Now that you're awake, shall we greet the evening properly?"
Vespera opened her arms, beckoning me closer with a gentle wave of her fingers.
The nightmare's echo made my body flinch before I could catch it. But it was only a dream. Everything was fine.
A shy warmth bloomed behind my ribs again. I let a quiet, fluttering laugh escape, the sound small and self-conscious as I ducked my head. "Yeah!"
I pressed myself into the soft, generous curve of her chest, letting every stray worry melt against her. The steady beat of her heart, the familiar scent of her skin—tears prickled at the corners of my eyes. The version of her in that dream had been terrifying.
I breathed in deep, nose twitching.
Wait… this smell…
Where had I caught it before?
My sensitive nose caught the fragrance first, something familiar and heavy that tugged at the edge of memory.
"Lirian, you must be starving, right?"
Her voice pulled me back to the moment.
Now that she mentioned it, hunger gnawed at me sharper than it had any right to. I hadn't felt this empty before I fell asleep.
"Hmm… Strangely enough, I'm really hungry…"
"Heh, then let's eat right away."
Vespera scooped me up without effort, cradling me against her like I weighed nothing. The so-called princess carry left my legs dangling and my cheeks burning, but her hold felt secure, almost protective.
"Your Holiness… I can walk on my own…"
"Heh♥ No, you can't."
She leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to my cheek, lips lingering just a heartbeat longer than necessary.
Whatever had her in such a cheerful mood, I didn't want to ruin it. I stayed quiet in her arms, letting her carry me the short distance to the table.
'…Huh?'
The spread waiting there looked nothing like the simple meals I remembered. These dishes gleamed with a richness that felt almost too bright for the candlelit chamber. The air carried unfamiliar spices, heavy and exotic, nothing like the modest suppers we usually shared.
A tall crystal goblet brimmed with deep crimson liquid that caught the light like fresh blood. A severed monster head sat on a platter, its skull packed with strange herbs that released a pungent, earthy steam. A long, glossy black fish stretched across another dish, its scales still faintly iridescent. A thick, dark stew bubbled in a silver tureen, its surface swirling with ominous colors. And the greens—twisted, vibrant stalks that looked more like they belonged in some alchemist's garden than on a plate.
None of this carried Auntie Lorelei's sturdy, practical touch. It certainly wasn't Vespera's usual frugal style.
I swallowed hard, forcing myself not to assume the worst. I had to be misunderstanding something.
"Y-Your Holiness…? Tonight's dinner looks… really elaborate?"
"…Ah♥ I stopped by the market on my way back and picked up a few things♥"
"I-I see…"
Her next kiss drifted closer, brushing the corner of my mouth this time. One or two more and she would claim my lips fully. Cold sweat broke across my forehead as fragments of the nightmare stirred again.
"Heh♥ Everything here is good for your body, so you must eat it all, evenly♥"
"Th-there's so much though…"
"This is an order…♥"
"I-I'll try my best…"
"Good…♥"
The kiss landed again, this time right at the edge where lip met cheek, warm and deliberate.
If this continued, the nightmare might step out of my head and into the room with us. Unease coiled tighter in my stomach and I felt an awkward smile stretch across my face before I could stop it.
"Wow… l-looks tasty…"
"Heh♥ Shall we say grace first?"
"…Y-yess…"
Staring at the plates with their strange, off-putting shapes, I let out a slow breath. I could already guess how most of it would taste. The question wasn't whether I could finish—it was whether my stomach would rebel first.
.
.
.
'Ugh!'
Bitter didn't begin to describe it. The fluorescent-green vegetables tasted like they'd been soaked in regret. I'd never encountered anything like them in either life.
Who in the world had turned dinner into some kind of joke?
I forced another mouthful down, throat working against the urge to gag.
'Urk…'
The stew was even worse. It had the chalky, medicinal bite of someone grinding pills straight into the pot. There was no other explanation for a flavor this foul.
I clung to the last threads of my composure and kept eating, bite after miserable bite, while the soreness in my body reminded me how little strength I actually had left.
Had I done something wrong? The thought twisted through me and I glanced sideways at Vespera, searching her face for any sign of anger.
"Chew thoroughly…♥"
Hmm…
She didn't look upset. If anything, she seemed perfectly content.
Today she had chosen the seat right beside me instead of across the table, close enough that her robes brushed my arm.
"Y-Your Holiness… this food is way too bitter…"
"Heh♥ No excuses. You have to finish everything♥"
"Hng…"
"Good medicine always tastes bitter, you know♥"
"But I'm already healthy…"
"Heh♥ Come on, eat up."
I sighed, long and defeated.
These dishes fought me with every swallow. I wasn't sure whether vomiting would come first or finishing the plate. My money was on the former.
Then she offered me a piece of the long black fish. I took it warily and chewed.
Chewing slowly…
Wait…?
My eyes flew open. The flavor hit me like a memory from my old life—rich, slightly sweet, with that perfect silky texture I used to crave but could rarely afford.
"…Eel!"
It tasted exactly like eel. The mouthfeel, the subtle sweetness, the way it melted on the tongue—everything matched.
Yes. This I could manage. Even if the appearance looked alien and the other dishes still loomed like punishment, this single dish gave me hope.
"Heh♥ Seems this fish has won you over."
"Yes! It's really delicious!"
"It's a native species from the Eastern Continent. Quite rare here in the Western lands."
"Goodness… something so expensive…"
"It's fine…♥ You'll repay me soon enough…♥"
"…Huh?"
"Heh♥ It's nothing."
Her last words came out as a quiet murmur and I couldn't quite catch them.
Still… a fish from the Eastern Continent? Trade between the continents wasn't exactly common. How much had she spent?
"But… Lirian?"
"Yes?"
"Don't you feel anything unusual?"
Hmm… Was she asking about the taste?
The stew was terrible, the vegetables worse. Only the eel had been any good.
"Hmm… Honestly, not really…"
A kiss landed squarely on my lips this time, soft but unmistakably intentional.
I stared at her, stunned.
"Heh… Is that so…♥"
"…Yeah…"
She ran her tongue slowly across her lower lip, savoring whatever lingered there.
Nightmare memories surged again, sharper now.
Her hand slid up my thigh without warning, fingers tracing a slow, deliberate path beneath the hem of my robes. Pleasure sparked hot and sudden through my body.
A sharp, involuntary gasp tore from my throat before I could bite it back, high and embarrassingly needy. I slapped a hand over my mouth, eyes wide.
"Perhaps…♥ Does your body feel hot? Feverish at all?"
Vespera stroked higher along my thigh, touch suggestive and unhurried, her breath warm against the shell of my ear as she leaned in close enough for her white hair to brush my cheek.