Immortal's Ascending Path-63
Episode-63< The Returning Spring >
"Rejuvenation... something like that?"
Roberta narrowed her eyes, looking at Ulrich.
"Not a method of slowing aging like a wizard, but a method of becoming younger as if going back to the past."
"That's right. You heard correctly. Moira is one of the few who chose that path, and she succeeded. No, I can't say she succeeded. Because it's not the immortality the child wanted."
Moira was exceptionally talented. After studying the materials left by the Lord of the Dead alone, she found and reached a path he had not discovered. She went beyond slowing down aging to reversing it.
Even if it's not immortality, if you become young again and continue your life, you can consider it close to eternal life. At first glance, it seemed better than the other two examples Roberta had encountered.
The Alchemist killed by the old knight Rashid allowed insects to infest his body and become another living creature, and the Lord of the Dead lost his reason due to resurrection after death.
Moira's method of regaining youth without becoming a monster was attractive, except for the flaw.
"Above all, she failed to protect what was most important."
The flaw was amnesia.
She lost her memories in the process of her old body returning to infancy.
"In the beginning, she didn't lose many memories. She became a child while preserving most of her memories. She just couldn't pronounce words, but her mind was entirely Moira."
Everyone forgets memories. Forgetting is a natural phenomenon. We forget the past every moment and live in the present, but we only feel discomfort occasionally.
But what if the forgetting is significant? If what is forgotten is small, you don't even know what you've forgotten, but if what is forgotten is large, you feel a void. That's what Moira felt.
The loss she experienced was not caused by the passage of time, so it was unnatural, and it was not small. It may not have been much compared to the whole, but she must have felt like chunks of her memory had disappeared.
Even if you lose your memories, your existence does not disappear. Moira was the Emperor's sister, one of the Eleven Knights, and the owner of Roslayen.
But how would the person herself feel?
"Moira-nim has been recording everything since then."
The old man Padnan got up from his seat and guided the guests to the annex in the north of the mansion.
The annex was about one-third the size of the main building, but there was only one room. The room was full of books. Padnan introduced it as a study, but Roberta understood it as a library.
"Surely not all the books here, are they?"
"I would say most of them."
Roberta walked between the bookshelves, scanning the books.
She had visited a nobleman's study with Diocesan Alonso, and compared to that place, the scale was larger but the splendor was less.
The nobleman had a hobby of collecting books, and each book in his study was a work of art. They were made of silk, decorated with jewels on the cover, or covered with metal as if they were wearing armor.
The books here were just bound sheets of paper. There was no cover at all, or if there was, it was made of plain leather. Roberta felt the passage of time from the yellowed paper and worn leather.
'She said she left records.'
She picked up a book. A number was engraved on the top of the cover. It seemed to indicate a certain period, with two years and months.
She put the book back and looked for the earliest and latest dates on the cover. The earliest date was about 800 years ago from today, and the latest date was about 100 years ago.
'The records are becoming less frequent.'
There were no newly bound books in the last hundred years.
Also, the number of bound books decreased as it got closer to the present.
At first, several books were bound each year, but in the end, even half a century was not enough for one book. Even that, the sentence on the last page was cut off while writing.
'Even the will to leave memories has been forgotten.'
Roberta guessed that the reason why the records decreased was because she had forgotten even her obsession with memories. No matter how precious a memory is, it becomes worthless the moment it is forgotten from the mind.
If you fill the lost memories with records again, will the old emotions be reproduced?
She thought not. Memories hidden deep in the mind might, but memories that don't even exist cannot.
Even if people read the same book, they react differently. This is because of the nature they were born with and the nature they have built up while living.
As Moira lost her memories, the nature she acquired after birth changed. As a result, even when she saw the records left by her past self, her emotions weakened.
'The obsession to leave memories as records, there must have been a source of that obsession somewhere. There was a memory that called up the emotion of obsession, but she gradually forgot it.'
Even if she hated someone and left the reason for it in a record, she, who had lost her memory, might not be able to suppress her hatred or might try to give up revenge.
"According to the records, Moira-nim recited the records for several years after regaining her youth. But at some point, she compiled an abridged version and only read that, and now... she doesn't even read the abridged version."
"Does she not want to read it, or does she not know it?"
"It's both."
Padnan smiled bitterly.
"In the first place, she doesn't even know that she wrote it herself. When she lost all her memories, we taught her that you are Moira, but she told us not to do that anymore."
The old man went to one side of the bookshelf and took out a book and handed it to Ulrich. It was an abridged version. It was a single volume that reduced a person's life, which filled the annex. How much content was omitted, and how much important content was included? Roberta looked at the abridged version with eyes full of interest.
Then Ulrich handed the book to her.
"I've already seen it. I organized it when that child last remembered me. There's not much content that you expect, but at least it's better than reading everything here."
#
Roberta came out of the annex and sat in the shade of a tree in the garden.
She placed the abridged version in her hand on her lap and examined the cover. Nothing was engraved on the outside. It had been bound for a long time, and it was worn and tattered because many people had touched it. It seemed like the pages might fall apart.
What kind of records did the Emperor's sister, one of the Eleven Knights, a person who has been alive for about a thousand years, leave behind?
What she was curious about was not the person named Moira, but the person named Ulrich that she had seen. She would have used a different name for him, and she would have treated the Moira and Archean siblings in a different way.
'He said there's not much content that I expect, but.'
Roberta hoped to learn more about Ulrich through the abridged version. He said there was nothing special, but when has enough of the story been revealed to be satisfactory?
Even if just one alias, even if just one past related to that alias was properly revealed, she would be satisfied.
She carefully opened the first page.
- I leave this to myself, who is not me, at an old age.
The first sentence of the first page started like that.
- You won't feel the same emotions as me even if you read this. But still, I leave it. In the passing years, my memories, my existence disappear, but I leave it hoping that you will regain yourself.
Moira, these were the words she was sending to herself who had lost her memory.
She also knew. She foresaw that she would live without knowing who she would be in the future. There's no way a person who doesn't know herself would read so many books in the study, so she compiled her past into a single volume.
Roberta pondered the wish contained in the words and turned the page. The first story was the oldest memory.
Around the age of six, a knight came on the day spring began, and the story began with the fact that he was wearing silver armor, so he was dazzling.
"Hello?"
Roberta raised her head at the unexpected greeting. It was the third face she had seen today. A middle-aged woman, who was called Miriam, came to the shade and looked down at Roberta.
The flow was interrupted just as she was about to get to know the knight, so Roberta was a little upset, but she smiled and got up.
"Hello, sister. What's going on?"
"The book you're reading looks familiar."
Miriam pointed to the abridged version.
"We don't show that book to outsiders."
"Ah, Padnan-nim gave me permission."
"Brother?"
She blinked and muttered to herself, "That can't be."
"That's strange. There must be a lot of stories in there that are difficult to show to the outside. As far as I know, that's why even the servants can't enter the annex."
"I guess it's because it's a record containing secrets."
"That's probably it. I don't know the details, though."
There was no certainty in her tone. Roberta sensed that Miriam's words were slightly blurred. She's Padnan's sister, so she must be a direct descendant of the Count's family, but hasn't she read it?
"My brothers told me to read it, but I wasn't interested. It seemed like a long diary, so I stopped after reading a few pages."
Roberta glanced at the abridged version, then looked back at the middle-aged woman.
"...I see. Come to think of it, Miriam-nim, there seems to be a big age difference between you and your brothers. This question may be rude, but perhaps?"
"It's okay. I've heard it a lot. We don't look alike, and the age difference is so great, it's obvious, right? Outside, everyone knows even if I say I'm a late child. That I'm a bastard."
The woman smiled. Roberta also smiled, but it was not a naive smile. Her eyes did not smile as she watched the other person.
"I'm sorry. I apologize for continuing to ask, sister, but when did your mother start showing symptoms?"
"Mother? Hmm, it hasn't been that long. Even a few years ago, she often forgot things, but her mind was fine."
Roberta pondered the words 'a few years ago'.
After Ulrich was introduced to the old woman and the middle-aged woman in the reception room, he asked Padnan, 'When did she become like that?'
What did Padnan say then? He replied that it had been like that since his great-grandfather's time.
But the woman in front of her said it was only a few years ago. Roberta felt her lips drying, so she licked her lips.
If you think about it, there was another point that she had overlooked without delving into it.
- I saw that person becoming a child at the end of her aging. I saw someone who was like my grandmother babbling without remembering anything.
She recalled Padnan's words.
She thought it was about an old woman who had regressed to infancy, but what if it wasn't? What if she really became a child?
Padnan was an old man in his sixties, and the old woman looked older than him. How could Padnan see the old woman's young appearance? It's impossible unless the old woman experienced aging faster than others.
On the other hand, the middle-aged woman looked twenty years younger than Padnan. In another view, it could be assumed that the old man Padnan became an infant when he was twenty years old.
"Do you know someone named Moira?"
The woman tilted her head and asked back.
"Isn't the book you're holding written by her?"
"Do you know anything more about her?"
She hesitated for a moment and shook her head.
"No. As I just said, I don't know the details. I've asked my brothers or mother, but they always told me to look at the book. So, all I know is that she's an old ancestor."
Why, Moira asked, looking at Roberta.
< The Returning Spring > End