After a lively group dinner, I finished my bath, marking the end of our schedule for the day. It was finally free time.
We had about an hour and a half until lights out. Some of my classmates were already sprawled out on their futons, others were absorbed in their handheld game consoles, and a few had gathered for a small party with snacks and drinks they'd snuck in.
And as for me…
"――Maehara, you getting ready for bed already?"
"Yeah. I've got plans, so I figured I'd get it out of the way."
"…A girl?"
"Something like that."
I could feel the jealous glares of Fukunaga-kun and several other boys boring into my back as they muttered, "Must be nice~" I ignored them and focused on brushing my teeth thoroughly in the washroom.
They were right, of course. I was meeting Umi. But I wasn't about to sneak into her room, tempting as the thought was. I'd heard some couples were doing just that, and I couldn't deny a part of me wished we could do the same.
"Alright, guess I'll head out soon…"
No spots missed. I was all set for tomorrow. We'd already decided on a meeting place.
(Maehara) Umi, how's it going?
(Asanagi) All good.
(Maehara) Okay, see you in a bit.
(Asanagi) Yep.
After confirming Umi was ready, I slipped out of the room alone and headed down to the first-floor lobby. On the stairs, I passed a patrolling teacher who gave me a sharp look, but since I wasn't heading up to the girls' floors, he had no reason to stop me.
I made it to the first floor and passed through the lobby.
Even with our large school group, we hadn't booked the entire hotel, so we'd been instructed not to occupy the sofas and chairs out of consideration for the other guests, unless absolutely necessary.
However, for this brief period of free time, we were allowed to use one place on the first floor besides the public bath and dining hall.
"――Maki, over here."
"Umi… yeah."
Umi had arrived a little earlier and was beckoning to me. I hurried over.
Our rendezvous point was a small souvenir shop tucked away in a corner of the lobby. Things were pretty expensive, as expected of a hotel shop, but they sold drinks and light snacks. We were allowed to buy things as long as we took them back to our rooms.
A few other students were also browsing, their laughter and chatter filling the small space.
"Should we buy something while we're here?"
"Fufu, yeah. That's our excuse for being here, after all," Umi giggled.
"Yeah. Our excuse."
"Yep."
Under the pretense of looking for souvenirs for our families, we perused the shelves of sweets and trinkets. Our hands found each other, fingers intertwining as we reveled in the simple warmth of each other's touch for the first time in what felt like ages.
"Maki, how about this? A sword keychain."
"There it is. The one with the dragon wrapped around it for no reason… Not that I dislike it."
"Fufu, you're such a kid, Maki… Well, I don't dislike it either."
"Are you a kid too, Umi."
"I guess so. Well then, should we get one?"
"Didn't Sora-san tell you not to waste money? Well, I guess it's fate, so maybe I'll buy one. It's not that expensive."
"Didn't Masaki-obasan tell you not to waste money?"
"This is… oh, it's my own money, so it's fine."
"Ah, not fair… Maybe I should get a part-time job too."
"Why not? But you need to focus on your studies. You can work after you graduate."
"Yeah. We'll be living together in college, too."
"That's not set in stone yet, you know."
"So, you don't want to?" she asked, her voice dropping slightly.
"…I'm determined to make it happen."
We hadn't discussed it with my mom or Umi's parents yet, but we had been talking about living together once we were both independent.
We were already together nearly 24/7, but sharing our lives—finances, chores, everything—would be a different story.
Even for a couple like us, who fell in love with each other's personalities, there would be new things to discover as we spent more time together.
Our daily rhythms, our approaches to housework, our financial sense, our visions for the future… I wanted to start aligning those things early on.
Living together was the first step.
We were getting ahead of ourselves, I knew it, but that was just who we were as a couple.
…As the one who took Umi's "first," I had a responsibility to her.
"…We'll have to work hard to win over my mom and dad, then."
"Yeah. Sora-san and Daichi-san are kind, but they're also strict."
I'd heard they had their own complicated story, which is probably why their words carried so much weight.
I didn't need anything as long as I had Umi, but she deserved more.
I want her to be loved and celebrated by everyone. More than anything, I want her to be happy.
I want her to always be smiling, just like she was right now, by my side.
For that, I would do anything.
"…Hey, Maki."
"What is it?"
"Can I touch your face?"
"I don't mind, but… why?"
"Just because. I want to."
"?…Well, go ahead."
"Hehe, thanks."
Smiling happily, Umi began to pat my face with both hands.
She gently stroked my cheeks, then playfully pinched and squished them.
"You really are handsome, Maki… No wonder Yuu fell for you."
"Thanks. But you're the one who changed me, Umi. Everyone's perception of me changed because you were there."
"Then I guess I'm your savior."
"You are… That's why I'll spend the rest of my life repaying you."
"Yeah. And if you ever betray that kindness, I'll haunt you."
"I'll do my best to make sure that never happens."
Even if it did, Umi was so kind she'd probably just step aside quietly, crying where no one could see.
That's what made her more precious to me than anyone.
"Umi, um…"
"Do you want to kiss?"
"...…"
"Nfufu, you're so easy to read, Maki. It's cute~ But not right now, everyone's watching… Besides, Yagisawa-sensei has been staring at us for a while."
"Eh? …Ah, you're right."
Peeking through a gap in the shelves, I saw our homeroom teacher on patrol, her eyes fixed on us from across the lobby.
Shopping was allowed, but we'd overstayed our welcome.
Our free time had slipped away while we were flirting. It was time to go.
We bought the keychain, some tea, and snacks, then left the shop. Yagisawa-sensei started to walk towards us but then turned away. It seemed we were in the clear, just barely.
"Maki, good night. Let's do our best skiing tomorrow."
"Yes… I'll be in your care, Coach."
"Very well. I'll whip you into shape so hard in the morning that you won't even need Yuu's coaching."
"You put a little too much emphasis on 'whip'… Will I be okay?"
"…Ehehe~"
"Stop trying to dodge the question like Amami-san."
"Fufu, well, be prepared to be exhausted, okay?"
"…If that's all it is."
"…Your standards are pretty skewed, Maki."
"If you're going to be teaching me one-on-one, I think it's worth it."
"Maki, you really do love me, don't you… Well, that's what makes you cute."
"I wouldn't have done all of that if I didn't."
Honestly, I wanted to stay with her a little longer, but…
"――Maehara-kun, Asanagi-san, we're about to do roll call, so please return to your rooms… I understand how you feel, though."
…since Yagisawa-sensei said that, I'd have to make do with texting.
The first day of the school trip had been jam-packed and exhausting, but I felt a profound sense of fulfillment.
"Well then, good night again, Umi."
"Yeah. Good night, Maki."
I watched Umi head up the stairs to the girls' rooms before hurrying back to my own. The moment I was inside, I opened my phone and saw a message from her.
(Asanagi) About that kiss…
(Asanagi) I'll give you a proper one after we get back from the trip.
(Asanagi) Okay?
The trip was fun, but now I had something else to look forward to when it was over.
The second day of the school trip.
Sleeping on the floor in a large room with all the boys from my class was an unfamiliar experience, and I struggled to fall asleep. Still, I managed to get some rest and relieve some of my fatigue.
I woke up a little before the official wake-up time and started getting ready in the quiet room.
After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I was struck by the pure white scenery outside the washroom window.
In stark contrast to yesterday's clear skies, the ski resort was being battered by strong winds and snow. On flat land, it would have been a nightmare of snow removal, but for the skiers, it didn't make much difference.
As my classmates gradually started to stir, I finished changing and was relaxing on my futon when my phone buzzed. Umi couldn't call me but a text was the next best thing.
(Asanagi) Ma~ki.
(Maehara) Morning, Umi.
(Asanagi) Mornin'.
(Asanagi) Did you sleep well yesterday?
(Maehara) Well, somehow.
(Maehara) How about you, Umi?
(Asanagi) I slept, but I stayed up a little late.
(Maehara) Got carried away chatting with everyone in your room?
(Asanagi) Something like that. Talking about boys we're interested in, and other stuff.
(Asanagi) Of course, they asked about you and me too.
(Maehara) Like what, for example?
(Asanagi) …Lots of things.
(Maehara) Lots of things, huh.
(Asanagi) Yeah.
(Asanagi) It's okay, I managed to force my way through it.
(Maehara) From the sound of it, were you asked some pretty risqué questions?
(Asanagi) Well, we're the only ones who have progressed that far in my room.
(Asanagi) And Nakamura-san is, well, you know.
(Asanagi) How was it on your end, Maki?
(Maehara) Well, I still haven't really blended in with the guys in the class, so.
(Asanagi) Our second year of high school is ending in a month and a half, you know?
(Maehara) …I'm trying.
(Asanagi) I know. I'm watching you.
(Asanagi) I guess they're holding back because Yuu is around, huh?
(Maehara) They told me that my existence is too unique compared to the other guys.
I'd been told that last night during a brief conversation with a classmate.
Part of it was my own shyness, but apparently, the fact that Amami-san went out of her way to talk to me whenever I was alone, and always looked like she was having so much fun, made it difficult for other guys to approach.
When Amami-san was around, other girls like Yamashita-san and Arae-san would naturally gather, which made the boys even more hesitant. This had gone on for months, creating the current situation.
Amami-san's presence had been a comfort when the classes first changed, but relying on it too much had backfired. Instead of expanding my social circle, it had only strengthened my connections with the girls in her group.
…I guess I couldn't really complain about being called a 'harem bastard' behind my back.
Still, I'd managed to exchange contact info with Fukunaga-kun last night, so that was some progress.
There were less than two months until the next school year, but I was determined to keep trying.
Once it was time to wake up, we had a quick breakfast, did our warm-ups in the hotel's multipurpose hall, and then headed out for our ski training. My group, the same as yesterday, would be starting with the basics on the beginner course. In the afternoon, those who were ready would move on to more difficult slopes. Today, we were also allowed to rent snowboards or ride snowmobiles if we wanted.
"Ehehe~ Maki-kun, let's do our best today too!"
"Yeah… Amami-san, you're snowboarding today."
"Yep! The instructor told me, 'You're free to do whatever you want now.' Oh, Umi~! Over here, over here~!"
"――Sorry for the wait. Maki, you don't have to worry about this all-around sports-monster princess over here."
"Muu~ Umi, pick one, monster or princess~"
"I don't think that's the issue here…"
Technically, we were supposed to stick with our groups, but skilled skiers were allowed more freedom, so Umi joined us for the morning as planned. The ski resort instructors, not our teachers, seemed to leave the specific training methods up to each individual.
…It felt a bit strange for a group activity, but I was grateful for the chance to be with Umi.
"…Yuu, I'm sitting next to Maki on the lift today."
"Nfufu~ I know, I know~"
Umi snuggled up next to me on the lift, while Amami-san took the one behind us by herself. We were heading to the beginner course, just like yesterday.
"Maki, how is it? Are you used to the lift yet?"
"Looking down is still scary, but I can enjoy the scenery now."
"Fufu, that's good. Well then, after this run, shall we try a slightly higher course?"
"…Please let me dominate the beginner course for just a little longer."
That said, I had gotten a feel for it on the first day. Once I was comfortable with the speed, it might be a good idea to level up.
I wanted to enjoy skiing, just like Umi and Amami-san.
"Okay, then, let's try to ski without slowing down as much today. Not the snowplow, but the parallel turn. I'll demonstrate, so follow me slowly from behind."
"O-okay."
She pushed off with her poles and glided down the slope with practiced ease, skis parallel to build speed, turning gracefully to control her pace. It didn't look all that different from the snowplow.
"――Maki, just try to imitate what you saw~ If it gets dangerous, just fall."
Aiming for Umi, who had stopped halfway down, I started my descent, trying to keep my skis in as narrow a 'V' as possible.
I picked up more speed than I expected and for a moment, fear threatened to make me bail.
Yesterday, I would have given up. But today, Umi was waiting for me.
I wanted to show her I was trying my best, at least in front of my girlfriend.
"Maki, that's good, keep it up!"
"Ngh… Nngh…"
Umi's cheers spurred me on. My hips, which had been pulling back in fear, gradually returned to their proper position.
Even with the speed, I didn't panic and managed to control my pace with wide turns… or so I thought. The moment I let my guard down, I lost my balance and wiped out.
I slid down the slope, gradually slowing until I came to a stop right next to Umi.
"Umm~… Maki, are you alive?"
"Yeah, I'm alive. In more ways than one."
"…Skiing is pretty fun once you get the hang of it, right?"
"Well, I think I understand how everyone else feels now… Hey, can I try again from the top?"
"Of course. We still have plenty of time."
After leisurely skiing down the rest of the slope with Umi, we went for another run on the same course.
"…Alright, here I go!"
This time, I pushed off with my poles to gain momentum, just like Umi.
As I fell and got back up, over and over, the fear I'd felt began to fade. My skis straightened, and I found I had the leeway to look around.
"Maki, make your weight shifts smoother, and keep your eyes forward."
"R-Roger!"
I spent the morning completely engrossed, taking almost no breaks. Thanks to Umi's one-on-one coaching, I was soon able to ski the beginner course with almost no issues.
I could safely say I'd graduated from the beginner level.
Partway through, we met up with Amami-san, who was pulling off tricks on the jump ramps, and the three of us skied together until the morning session ended.
"Alright, good work. You've got the basics down. This afternoon, we'll practice parallel turns, and then we'll finally move on to the intermediate course… or that's what I'd like to say, but Yuu is your main coach this afternoon. Yuu, what's the plan?"
"Hmm~… I prefer snowboarding and I'm better at it, so I was thinking of teaching Maki-kun that… Besides, it seems Umi's already drilled most of the skiing into him."
"What a way to put it… But, I guess I'd like to try snowboarding, too."
About half the other students had switched to snowboards for the second day. Since the purpose of the trip was training, it wouldn't be a bad idea to experience both. If I didn't like it, I could always go back to skis.
"Okay, then, we'll start snowboarding this afternoon."
"Yep, I'll be in your care, Maki-kun!"
"...…"
"Um, Umi-san?"
"…The evening and night part will be for skiing, okay?"
"Jeez, Umi, don't just split the afternoon into two halves~"
"Maki, I'll teach you snowboarding for the first half. I can do it, too."
"That's just cheating! And what about yesterday's promise?"
"Ugh… But, but, I still want to ski with Maki… It was so much fun…"
If she enjoyed our time together that much, then as her boyfriend, I couldn't be happier.
"Umi, I get how you feel, but it's almost time to gather up. You need to go back to your own group for now. We have some freedom, but this is still a group activity."
"...…"
"Umi?"
"...…Ngh."
"Thanks, Umi."
"Ngh."
I parted ways with a pouting but compliant Umi, and we split into our respective ski groups for our lunch break.
Since we'd be active again in the afternoon, I decided to avoid anything too heavy. Something warm like ramen or udon would be perfect.
The menu had a surprising number of options, making the decision difficult.
"Maki-kun, have you decided what to get?"
"I think I'll go with the kitsune udon. Ramen is tempting, but I want to save that for tomorrow."
"Come to think of it, the last day is for sightseeing in the city, huh. Well then, I'll skip the ramen too and get udon~"
I got a meal ticket for kitsune udon and Amami-san got one for meat udon. We sat at a large table with students from other groups.
"Mmm~ delicious! The fancy dinner last night was good, but casual food like this, the kind you get at the school cafeteria, is nice too. It's comforting, you know?"
"You can have it anytime, but for some reason, you just crave it at times like this."
"Exactly! When I went to my grandma's house during Golden Week, I ended up eating chain-store hamburgers and beef bowls too."
"Ah~ I get that."
Everything you eat on a trip tastes new and delicious, but since everything is so unfamiliar, you find yourself craving the craving the taste of home.
For me, that would be Pizza Rocket's garlic teriyaki chicken pizza (with extra toppings), a zero-calorie cola (or the regular kind), french fries, onion rings… which was probably worse for my health than the trip food.
In the end, even if you try to act like an adult, you're still a kid.
As I was thinking this, blowing on a piece of piping hot fried tofu, I noticed Amami-san watching me with a gentle expression.
"…Fufu."
"? Amami-san, what's wrong?"
"Oh, no… It's just, I was thinking that if I were on a date with Maki-kun, it would probably be something like this~…"
"Eh?"
"Fueh?"
Amami-san might not have meant anything by it, but it was a dangerously casual remark.
Yamashita-san and Arae-san probably didn't know the full story of what had happened the other day.
"H-hey, Amami, you…"
"Ah… N-no, no! I haven't had a chance to eat a meal facing Maki-kun like this, so I just, blurted out something I didn't mean… Ah, that's not it, I did think about it a little while ago, and I thought it would be nice if that happened, but."
"Ah, Amami-san, calm down a bit. Everyone understands."
"Eh? W-waaah, I-I'm sorry!"
The other students at our table looked over, puzzled by the sudden commotion.
She had mumbled it, so it probably hadn't reached anyone else.
…I would rather not have deal with any more trouble.
I decided to forget what she'd just said and pull myself together.
"Amami-san, just to be sure, did I say something weird?"
"N-no, not at all… Oh, right! That, um, speaking of food, it reminded me, what does everyone want to eat for free time tomorrow? There's ramen, roasted corn, seafood bowls, and also Ishikari nabe, soup curry, buttered potatoes, butter sandwiches, melon, soft-serve ice cream…"
"How much are you planning to eat for lunch…"
"Eh~ but it's a special occasion, so I want to try it all. By the way, what are you hoping for, Nagisa-chan?"
"…S-seafood bowl."
"I'm with Nagi-chan~ A sea urchin and salmon roe bowl, if possible."
"Hmm, hmm, Yama-chan and Nagisa-chan are for seafood. As for Maki-kun… Oh, you're sneaking out with Umi, right?"
"…It's a secret, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't say it in public."
"Ah… Yama-chan, Nagisa-chan, let's talk about this again tomorrow morning…"
"…Jeez, if you're gonna fool around, do it when you get back."
"Maehara-kun, good luck."
"Well, yes…"
A chill ran down my spine, but it seemed I'd managed to steer the conversation back on course. I was relieved.
…However.
It seemed Amami-san hadn't completely moved on from her first love.
An awkward atmosphere lingered as the break ended and we moved on to the afternoon session.
According to our plan, Amami-san was supposed to teach me how to snowboard.
"Ah, um, Maki-kun… I'm going to go cool my head alone for a bit, so you can go ahead and ski."
"Eh? But I can't snowboard by myself…"
"That's… j-just a moment!"
In a panic, Amami-san ran over to Umi's group and started discussing something with them.
I figured she probably didn't want to coach me in this awkward atmosphere… but after a while, she returned, looking guilty, with Umi in tow.
Knowing Amami-san, she'd probably asked to change the plan.
But the current Umi wasn't so soft on her best friend as to easily agree.
"Maki, as planned, you'll be snowboarding with Yuu this afternoon… Yuu, stop hiding behind me and stand up straight."
"…Y-yes, I'll be in your care."
"Yeah, likewise… So, what are you going to do, Umi?"
"It would be a problem if she ran away like at the outlet mall the other day, so I think I'll join you two. Yuu, I'm not good at snowboarding either, so teach me properly."
"O-okay, got it."
Hearing that Umi would be with them, Amami-san's expression clearly showed relief.
She had confessed, been rejected, and we were supposed to have gone back to being just friends. But in her heart, she still couldn't let go, and she had just blurted out her feelings in front of the person himself.
Putting me, the one who rejected her, aside, for Amami-san, this was no time for coaching.
However, we couldn't just stand around forever, so the three of us, who had switched from skis to snowboards, headed for the lift to the beginner course.
"Yuu, I'm fine on my own, so please take care of Maki."
"Eh? B-but…"
"I. Said. It's. Fine. Come on, we're holding up the line, so get a move on."
"Waah."
Given a light push by Umi, Amami-san ended up next to me.
Until this morning, she had been bouncing around the snowy mountain with an energy that surprised everyone, but now she was surprisingly quiet.
"Amami-san, shall we go?"
"Uu~…"
"I'm sorry," she mumbled, glancing at Umi behind her, and hesitantly sat down next to me.
"...…"
"...…"
Silence fell between us as a classic winter song echoed through the mountains.
How should I start… As I was pondering, looking at the distant mountains, Amami-san spoke first.
"Ah, um, Maki-kun!"
"Yeah."
"A-about what I said earlier, it really, really was nothing! I just, suddenly thought of it, and because I'm stupid, it just slipped out."
"Yeah, it's okay… Did you tell Umi about it?"
Amami-san nodded slightly.
"…I felt like it would be bad for Umi if I didn't."
"Umi won't get mad over something like that anymore. That's why she gave up her spot next to me, I think."
I think Umi also wanted us to talk it out properly.
This had been the case for a while now, but neither I nor Umi wanted to blame Amami-san.
Whether it comes true or not, anyone is free to fall in love with anyone.
Even if the other person is a loner and a downer.
Even if the person they fell in love with already has a lover.
As long as they don't cause excessive trouble or go out of their way to hurt those around them.
"It's okay, take your time. Just find your own way to come to terms with it, however long it takes."
"Maki-kun… yeah, thank you."
Amami-san was already trying her best. She was thinking about my feelings and Umi's, and she was desperately trying to go back to being "friends" with us.
That's why, even if there were some lingering feelings, neither I nor Umi would get angry.
"Or rather… I'm the one who should be sorry. I overreacted, didn't I?"
"N-no, don't apologize… I just got flat-out rejected by you a while ago, and now it feels like you're rubbing salt in the wound."
"Finishing them off properly is my style. Well, in games, at least."
"It's the same in real life too~! You're so mean, Maki-kun~!"
"Hey, the lift will shake if you move too much!"
While enduring the fear of the lift shaking more than usual from Amami-san lightly smacking me, we somehow managed to get off safely.
"What in the world are you two doing…"
"Ask Maki-kun that."
"No, I'm the one who wants to know."
"...…"
"...…"
"...…"
"""…Fufu."""
Umi looked exasperated, Amami-san pouted, and I was just confused.
And then, after a short pause, we burst out laughing.
…No, really, what were we doing?
Well, I didn't dislike this kind of time, as long as it was with these two.
"Shall we start skiing for now?"
"Yuu, we're counting on you for the snowboarding, so teach us properly. Not with abstract expressions like 'whoosh' or 'swoosh,' but in a way that we can both understand logically."
"Hmm~...........................…Okay, I'll try my best!"
"That pause definitely felt like you don't get it at all…"
As feared, we spent the afternoon drilling Amami-san's unique theory into our bodies by repeatedly sliding down the slope and falling, then sliding down and falling again.
Here's a summary of the afternoon session.
"Umi, next is that jump ramp. It's okay, it's surprisingly easier if you just go for it. Like, boing. Like your legs are springs."
"S-springs…? You mean I should absorb the shock? Huh? A little different? What am I supposed to do…"
"Oh, Maki-kun, when you turn, you have to use your edge more, like gyuun. Pick up speed… and yes, gyuun here, and then this time, guriin!"
"Gyu-gyuun…? Guriin…?"
First off, snowboarding was fun too. I can confidently say that.
…I can say that, but.
I think I'll wait a while before visiting a snowy mountain with the powerful Amami-san again.
The second day's schedule was over, and we finally welcomed the morning of the third and final day.
Skiing was fun, but I was even more excited for today's free time. We would take a bus from the hotel to the nearest train station, and from there, until our return flight, we were free to go wherever we wanted within our groups.
We could visit tourist spots, participate in city events, or just explore the markets and eat delicious food.
My body was at its limit after two full days of skiing, but this was the first and last school trip of my high school life—no, the last school trip of my student life. I would have to hang in there a little longer.
…I should try to recover my stamina by sleeping on the bus for now.
"――Maki-kun, hey, Maki-kun."
"Ngh… Amami-san?"
"Sorry for waking you up… About today's free time, I was wondering where we should meet up. We all have to be at the airport with our group, right? So I thought we should decide on a time and place beforehand."
"I see. You're right."
Umi and I were planning to temporarily leave the group, so we needed to arrange a meeting place to regroup before heading to the airport.
I glanced at the guidebook Amami-san was holding (※it belonged to Arae-san) and picked out a few potential spots.
Since we were unfamiliar with the area, a tourist spot or some other easily noticeable landmark would be best.
"Umm… can I discuss it for a bit?"
"Yep! Let me know when you've decided. I'll be playing Old Maid with Nagisa-chan and the others until then."
"…Don't just include me in your headcount without asking. And didn't we play enough yesterday?"
"I still want to play more~ Nagisa-chan, come on, please? It's okay, right? Yay!"
"I haven't said anything yet!"
"Come on, Nagi-chan, it's not like we have anything better to do."
While watching the three of them start a card game, despite Arae-san's usual "tch," I decided to check with Umi, who was on the bus behind ours.
(Maehara) Umi.
(Asanagi) How about we meet at the TV tower on Odori Street? That sounds good, right?
(Asanagi) It's easy to spot, and there's a clock too.
(Maehara) Huh? You don't have a bug on my phone, do you?
(Asanagi) I'm sure.
(Asanagi) I'm holding myself back from doing that.
(Maehara) …Well, if you insist, Umi.
(Asanagi) Fufu, I won't, I won't.
(Asanagi) We were just talking about the same thing over here.
(Maehara) And you said, "I'll try asking him about it"?
(Asanagi) Bingo~
(Asanagi) So, what do you think?
(Maehara) Yeah. That works for me.
(Asanagi) Glad to hear it.
(Asanagi) Oh, the other four are asking if they can hang out with your group.
(Maehara) Umm…
(Maehara) It's fine on our end~ they said.
(Maehara) Someone seems reluctant, but I think I can convince her.
(Asanagi) Ah~
(Asanagi) I'll have a stern word with Nakamura-san too, just in case.
(Asanagi) Caution: Arae Nagisa! like that.
(Maehara) That sounds like a "Beware of Bears" sign.
(Maehara) …Well,
(Maehara) @g
(Asanagi) ??
(Asanagi) Maki?
(Maehara) Sorry. I was getting glared at.
(Maehara) Loose lips sink ships.
(Asanagi) Ah~ right.
(Asanagi) From a different perspective, she is kind of like a bear.
(Maehara) H-hey, Umi!
After narrowly avoiding a literal punch, I relayed the meeting place to Amami-san and the others and got their approval.
Now, all that was left was to stick with the group for a while, and then casually slip away with Umi when the teachers weren't looking.
The bus ride was relatively quiet, a testament to everyone's exhaustion. An hour later, we got off at the bus rotary in front of the train station, our temporary dispersal point.
The city was covered in a considerable amount of snow from the previous day, but the temperature was higher than at the mountain resort. It was still below freezing, but not cold enough to hinder our sightseeing.
"Alright, alright! Amami group and Nakamura group, gather over here~!"
Amami-san's loud voice brought our two groups together, forming a temporary large group of ten, but–
"Oh, come on, Nagisa-chan, don't stand so far away, come over here~ It's warmer if we walk together, and more fun to talk, you know?"
"Playing sardines ain't my hobby."
"…And yet, you walk with me, Nagi-chan~"
"…The teachers will bug me if I'm not with someone."
"Hmm, I see, so this is the rumored tsundere. You don't see such a textbook example even in manga these days."
"Mio, have you already forgotten what Asanagi-san warned you about? If you don't cut it out, I'll get mad on her behalf."
"This is the first time I'm really looking at Nagisa-shi, but as a model, she has pretty high specs. Hey Nagisa-shi, I have a good part-time job, wanna try it out? It's fine, I'll provide all the outfits that suit you."
"Kaede, you're totally planning to make her a salesgirl. Besides, Arecchi would be better as a rock band vocalist. Right? Wanna aim for a major debut with me?"
"......"
"Arae-san, glaring at me won't solve anything…"
Just like at the class tournament, the gender ratio was ridiculous.
Including Ooyama-kun, who was already standing a step away from the group, it was two boys to eight girls. And since Umi and I would be leaving, it would soon be one boy to seven girls.
At first glance, it might seem enviable, but for someone in Ooyama-kun's delicate position, it must have been tough.
He couldn't act alone without causing trouble, so he had no choice but to walk silently behind them.
"…Hey you, with the glasses, you come too. We'll leave you behind if you dawdle."
"If I'm in the way, you can just exclude me… Also, it's not 'glasses,' it's Ooyama."
"Shut up with your whining, glasses. Just shut up and come… And if you do, well, I'll be a little considerate of you. Well…. Yama will"
"Eh~ me~? …Well, if Nagi-chan's with me, I don't mind."
…Well, Arae-san (and Yamashita-san) would probably handle it.
Arae-san was usually a lone wolf, but when necessary, she took action to maintain balance.
She was different from Amami-san and Umi, but she was a natural-born leader in her own right.
After informing our homeroom teachers that we would be joining another group and getting their permission, we finally headed into the city.
"…Hey, Maki."
"Yeah."
As Amami-san and Nakamura-san energetically led the way, Umi and I, who were at the back of the group, secretly held hands.
The others, engrossed in the new scenery, didn't seem to notice.
"Maki, are you cold? I have a hand warmer, want to use it?"
"Yeah, thanks… Fufu."
"Hm? What? Did I say something weird?"
"No. I was just thinking that you've become a lot like me, Umi."
"Ugh… so what, you're the same, Maki. You're becoming more and more like me."
"Well, you've drilled it into me enough."
My morning routine, my habits, my approach to studying, how I communicate with others, how I dress for dates… the list was endless. I'd changed so much since meeting Umi.
And the more I tried, the more she praised me.
–You did great.
–Good job.
–You've changed so much.
–You look cool.
–I love you.
–I'm so happy to be your girlfriend, Maki.
She would say these things not as flattery, but with a happy smile, gently patting my head. And when I wanted more, she would hug me.
I was so glad to be here, with her, in this moment.
"Umi, what do you want to do? We've walked quite a bit, should we slip away soon?"
"Sounds good. Nakamura-san told me, 'You can disappear whenever the time is right'."
"Okay, then, I'll go tell them."
"Okay, see you."
After walking a little further, I let go of Umi's hand and approached Amami-san.
"Amami-san."
"Maki-kun? Oh, is it about that time?"
"Yeah… I don't see any teachers, so I thought it would be a good time."
There seemed to be some kind of event happening, and the streets were filled with tourists. It was the perfect opportunity to blend into the crowd.
"Got it. Let me know if you run into any trouble."
"Roger that… And please take care of everyone else."
As I said that, I was met with a barrage of teasing from Nakamura-san and her friends, who slapped me on the back good-naturedly.
"Arae-san, you know the drill, so take care."
"Do whatever you want… Hey glasses, you get it too, right?"
"I-I'm not going to snitch. I'm not interested, just like Arae-san."
After confirming that our group was also fine, I returned to Umi's side.
"Ngh."
"Yeah."
She held out her hand, and I firmly grasped my cute girlfriend's hand again. We quietly slipped away, ready to spend some time just the two of us–
"――Ah, w-wait, Maki-kun!"
–or so I thought. Amami-san's voice called out from behind. It seemed she had left the group to chase after us.
For a moment, I panicked, thinking she had dropped her wallet or student ID, but they were safely in her chest pocket. It wasn't a teacher either.
"Yuu, what's wrong? Do you need something from Maki?"
"S-sorry Umi, right when you're about to go on a date… Um, you see."
After a moment of hesitation, Amami-san continued as if she had made up her mind.
"…I want to talk to Maki-kun alone for a bit."
"With me?"
"Yeah. Just for 10… no, 5 minutes is fine."
"Is it… something I'm not supposed to hear?"
"I'll tell you properly later, Umi. But… I just really want to tell Maki-kun first."
Closing her eyes tightly, her head bowed, Amami-san waited for our answer.
I had a feeling I knew what this was about. It was probably related to her comment during lunch yesterday.
I had already moved on, so I didn't think she would bring it up again… Well, I was sure she would explain later.
And she'd promised to tell Umi too.
"You can decide what to do, Maki. I'll be at that convenience store over there."
"Thanks, Umi… Amami-san, okay, just for a little bit."
"! Thank you, both of you…"
Amami-san bowed her head, but her expression remained serious. There was no smile, no sign of relief.
I promised to be back soon, and Amami-san and I left Umi in the eat-in space of a nearby convenience store and headed outside.
"Amami-san, shall we talk as we go?"
"…Yeah."
I waited patiently for her to start, not looking at anything in particular.
Before I knew it, snow had begun to fall lightly from the sky again.
"…Last night, Nagisa-chan got mad at me. She said the same thing to me in front of everyone just now… Ehehe, I've just been getting scolded non-stop lately."
"…You told Arae-san about us, didn't you?"
"Yeah. Oh, sorry, was that not okay?"
"Well, she was right there and heard it anyway… So, what did she say?"
"'If you still like him, go get rejected one more time,' she said… Ehehe."
"I see. That's so like Arae-san."
"Yeah. She's actually a very thoughtful and kind friend."
Despite her tough exterior, Arae-san had a lot of friends. This story was a perfect example of why.
She could be a little too forceful… but I guess that was just her style.
"…Hey, Maki-kun. If, just hypothetically."
"Yeah."
"If, you know? If I had become friends with you before Umi, what do you think would have happened?"
"Is this… about whether we would have become a couple?"
"…Yeah."
"I knew it."
"…I'm sorry for asking something weird. But I just had to ask, one last time."
One last time, so there were no lingering regrets.
Emotionally, I wanted to say, "It would be Umi no matter what," but… thinking about it calmly, it was a difficult question.
–Won't you be my friend?
What would have happened if Amami-san had been the first to say that to me?
I probably wouldn't have turned her down. I had no reason to, and I already knew she was a good person.
I understood what she was asking.
If we had met first, was there a possibility we would have become a couple?
I didn't like giving hypothetical answers.
But I had to for Amami-san's sake.
"I don't think the possibility is zero. With conditions, of course."
"Not zero, huh. Fufu, that's so like you, Maki-kun. But, what are those conditions?"
"…I'm going to say something really crazy, is that okay?"
"Yeah. Let me hear it."
"Okay then…"
I was going to reject Amami-san properly, one more time.
It took a massive amount of energy to push away sincere feelings, but if it was necessary for her, and for us…
"――Simply put, it would work if you time-leaped."
"Eh? Time… leaped…?"
It was clearly not the answer she had been expecting. She looked at me, dumbfounded.
"Sorry, I should have been clearer."
"No, if that's your answer, Maki-kun… um, by time leap, you mean that thing from stories?"
"Yeah, that's right. If you could go back to before the entrance ceremony with all your memories intact, and if you found me before Umi… and became my friend."
If that had happened, I would have fallen for Amami-san completely. I had been a loner out of necessity, not desire.
If Amami-san had been the one to teach me in the way Umi had.
If she had been the one to cheer me up with her natural brightness.
I don't think the possibility was zero.
"…I see."
"Yeah."
"I see… Ehehe, I guess I really can't win against you, Maki-kun…"
Smiling sadly, Amami-san continued.
"No matter what happens, you and I can never be a couple, huh."
"…Yeah."
I told her clearly.
As long as I was 'Maehara Maki.'
As long as Umi was 'Asanagi Umi,' and Amami-san was 'Amami Yuu.'
No matter how many times we repeated it, I was sure Umi would find me first, we would connect, and we would become a couple in the exact same way.
That was my answer to Amami-san.
"So… Amami-san."
"…Yeah."
"I'm going to Umi… Because I love her."
"I understand… Well then, go on. Maki-kun."
"Yeah, I'm going… Thank you, Amami-san."
"I'm the one who should be thanking you… Thank you, Maki-kun."
After thanking each other, I headed back to where Umi was waiting. Amami-san ran towards her friends.
With this, the matter was settled.
How Amami-san would recover from this.
Who she would fall in love with next.
I didn't know.
Whether it was Nozomu, or someone completely new, that was her choice.
But Amami-san was one of my important friends. A girl who was like the sun, always shining on me, Umi, Nitta-san, and Nozomu.
As a friend, I wanted her to be happy.
…Was it selfish for me to think that?
When I returned to the convenience store, Umi saw me and ran over at full speed.
She rubbed her face against my chest and hugged me tightly.
"――Maki, welcome back."
"Yeah, I'm back. Sorry, I'm a little late."
"…11 minutes and 21 seconds."
"You were timing me… Well then, I'll treat you to make up for it."
"It's your punishment for making your girlfriend worry… I was half joking, but hey, Maki."
"Yeah."
"Did you talk properly with Yuu?"
"…We're okay now."
"I see. So, I don't have to be scared anymore, huh."
"Yeah. Let's stay together forever."
"…Swear on your ring?"
"Yes. I swear."
"Very well… We're wasting time, shall we get going?"
"Yeah. I'm hungry, so let's get something to eat. What do you want?"
"Ramen! With all the toppings, on you, Maki."
"Fufu, roger that."
This time, holding hands so firmly that we would never be separated again, we became a part of the crowd and disappeared into the city.
I sometimes find myself thinking, 'What if I were still all alone?'
Spending the day quietly, without talking to anyone, just doing what I liked.
It would be lonely, but carefree. I wouldn't have my holidays ruined by sudden calls or requests, nor would I have to worry about unnecessary things.
There would be no positives. But no negatives either. That was a valid choice.
But, if possible, I want to seek out the positives. Of course, there would be trouble, and negative things would happen, and in the end, it might just break even.
Even so, I want to continue to be involved with various people.
I want to keep increasing the number of people I can hold dear.
The happiness of having an irreplaceable person by your side. The reassurance of having someone who supports you.
I know it now.
Because the girl I love taught me.
"This is fun, isn't it, Maki?"
The girl slurping ramen deliciously across from me says with a smile.
"Yeah."
Where should we go next… As we discussed, I made sure to fully savor this happiness.
"――Are you good now?"
After parting with Maki-kun, I hurried back to the group. Nagisa-chan, who was standing next to me, greeted me with those words.
She usually clicks her tongue or sighs dramatically, but at times like this, she worries about me.
Personally, I'd prefer she be a little more gentle, like Yama-chan… but I'll just assume it's a sign of her trust.
"Thanks, Nagisa-chan. For pushing my back."
"Whatever. You being all mopey was annoying."
"…I see. Well then, while we're at it, will you listen to my story?"
"What do you mean, while we're at it… Well, I'm bored, so I guess I can listen."
"Fufu, you're especially kind today, Nagisa-chan."
"…I'll ignore you if you say anything unnecessary."
"Sorry, sorry… It's going to be a story from the past, is that okay?"
I heard a "Jeez," so I took that as a yes.
Both of us looked straight ahead, at the distant scenery.
I decided to lay my feelings bare one more time.
–The first time I met my best friend.
From the moment I saw Umi, who reached out her hand to me when I was crying all by myself.
I had always admired 'Asanagi Umi.'
She was so cool. She was a leader, she joked around, she made everyone laugh, and she had a lot of friends.
If only I could be like her–
Even when I was just following her, I kept thinking that someday I wanted to be like Umi.
A while after we became friends, I asked her.
"――How can I become like you?"
"Yeah. Right now… well, I still don't have the courage, and I get nervous and can't talk well with Sana-chan or Mana-chan, but I want to be a cool person like you, Umi."
"Eh? Do I look that cool?"
"Y-yeah. Oh, of course, I think you're just as cute and wonderful, you know? But the Umi who always protects me is also cool, like a knight…"
"A knight… Yuu, are you complimenting me?"
"I am, I really am! Umi is cool, the idol of the whole world!"
"Isn't that a bit of an exaggeration? …But, I see. Setting aside the knight thing, you want to be like me, Yuu."
"Yeah."
"I see… Hmm… It's not like I'm particularly conscious of anything…"
Sensing my seriousness, Umi started to think about it seriously too.
She shook her head, pondering, but the conclusion she came to was.
"How to become like me, right?"
"Y-yeah."
"Umm~… That's…"
"T-that's?"
I nervously waited for her answer.
"…I don't think it's possible. Probably."
"Eh…?"
I had expected a simple answer like, "study or exercise harder," or "talk to more people," or "eat your vegetables."
But instead, it was just, "impossible."
I was sure it was a conclusion she had come to after thinking hard, but it was, as expected, unexpected.
"Why is that?"
"Because you're not me, Yuu."
"That's… true, but."
She was right. We were born in different places, grew up in different environments. Everything was different.
Our personalities, our grades. Even the color of our skin, hair, and eyes.
I guess she meant that a weakling like me, who was always crying, could never be as strong or cool as her, so I should just give up.
Behind Umi, hiding behind Sanae-chan and Manaka-chan, all I could do was sit there like a doll–
"――Hey, Yuu!"
"Nmugh…!"
Just as my head filled with negative thoughts, Umi clapped my cheeks with both hands, sandwiching my face.
"Don't jump to conclusions. I'm not done talking yet."
"Mu, mugh mugh… Umi, let go…"
"So, will you listen properly?"
"I'll listen, I'll listen…"
"Ngh, good."
After my cheeks were thoroughly kneaded, Umi let go, looking satisfied.
As a slight tingling sensation remained, she smiled, just like when we first met.
"Umm… Yuu, first of all, thank you. For saying you want to be like me, that you admire me. That made me really happy."
"Y-yeah… But then, why can't I admire you?"
"Because I want you, Yuu, to become 'Amami Yuu' …not 'Asanagi Umi'… I guess."
"Me, become me?"
I found what she was saying difficult, and I thought about it for a while.
You want me to become Amami Yuu? Does that mean I don't have to try so hard… that I'm fine just the way I am?
No, if that were the case, she would have said, "Yuu, you're fine just the way you are"… so, umm.
"...…I'm getting kind of confused."
"Ahaha, sorry. This is the first time I'm saying something like this, so I got carried away… In short, you don't have to imitate me, just become the person you want to be. You're not me, and I'm not you."
"…But I want to become a 'me' like you, Umi. Is that not good enough?"
"It's fine if you use it as a reference. Like doing your homework properly, or trying not to be shy. But you can't just copy me completely. You have a lot of good points too, Yuu, so you have to make sure to keep those."
"I have good points? I'm no good at anything I do, and what you're saying, Umi, doesn't… bugyu!?"
"That's–what–I'm–saying–"
"Mugyuu… I-I'm shorry…"
This time, she squeezed a little harder.
Umi was always kind to me, but sometimes she showed me this mischievous side. It was my privilege, something she never did to Sanae-chan or Manaka-chan.
"You know, you might not have noticed yet, you dense-chin, but you're way more amazing than me."
"L-like what?"
"Your smile is incredibly cute."
"Is that all?"
"That's all."
"...…"
And with that, I was really way more amazing than Umi?
…I felt like it wasn't amazing at all.
"Ah, Yuu, you're making a 'that's it?' face."
"But… then Umi's smile is cute too."
"Mine is just average. Mine is just a smile, but yours is on a whole other level. It makes everyone smile… You're our sun, Yuu."
"Am I, really?"
"Yeah, absolutely. No matter what anyone says, I'll guarantee that."
When she said it so forcefully, I couldn't help but want to believe her.
That I was able to cheer her up even as I am now.
"…Hey, Umi."
"What is it, bestie?"
"Is it okay if I stay the way I am, as Amami Yuu, without changing?"
"I think so. If anyone complains or tries to bully my precious friend, I'll beat them up right away."
"Ehehe, thanks. If Umi is a knight, then I guess I'm the princess protected by that knight."
"Yeah. Like a super, duper sheltered, shy princess."
"I don't know about that one… But I don't want to stay in a box forever, so for now, I'll try my best to overcome my shyness."
"And study hard too. Also, you have to eat the green peppers and carrots that you hate."
"Umm… I think I want to stay in my box a little longer~ you know. Ehehe~"
"Hey, don't try to get away with it with a cute smile~!"
And so, thanks in part to Umi's kindness, my worries were resolved for the time being.
I would stay as I was, and with just a little more courage, I would try to brighten up not just Umi, but many more people.
Of course, to say that everything went perfectly would be a lie. I was too spoiled by Umi, and I hurt her without realizing it, causing our hearts to grow distant for a time.
I should reflect on the fact that I hurt my most important best friend, but even so, I didn't want to say that my choices were wrong.
Because, just as Umi said back then, it was precisely because I was 'Amami Yuu' that I was able to form many new connections. Nina-chi, Maki-kun, Nozomu-kun, Nakamura-san and the others from Class 11, Takizawa-kun and the other student council members, Nagisa-chan, Yama-chan, and my classmates from Class 10.
Everyone, every single person, they're all so precious to me.
So, I have no regrets.
But, I fell in love with Maki-kun, and I was rejected.
And I realized.
The path I thought I was carving out for myself was actually on rails that had already been laid by Umi.
I was supposed to be trying to become the person I wanted to be, but I had been unconsciously imitating Umi all along.
I hadn't changed at all since then.
――After I had finished speaking, Nagisa-chan, who had finally glanced at my face, said.
"――Amami, you, huh."
"Yeah."
"…For someone with such a dumb-looking face, you think about some pretty difficult things."
"You're so blunt… Even I think about things sometimes, you know."
I think I was simpler for the first few months of high school… I wonder whose influence it was.
Was it Umi's, Maki-kun's, or Nina-chi's?
…Probably all of them.
"I've always admired Umi. She's cute, strong, and kind. No matter how hard I tried, even when I thought I had finally caught up to her a little, she would just keep going on ahead, out of my reach."
Umi had everything I wanted. I wanted the same things as Umi.
But that was impossible. Only the person I loved. Only Maki-kun was different.
If I kept admiring only Umi, if I just followed the path she walked without thinking.
I realized that I could never become the person I truly wanted to be just by imitating Umi.
…That's why.
I have to end this imitation of my best friend here.
"Nagisa-chan, this time, I'm going to become the person I want to be. I'll find what I really want to do, and I'll fall in love with someone even more wonderful than the person I fell in love with."
"…I see."
"Yeah. That's right."
To the me that I wished for.
I'll become the ideal 'Amami Yuu' that I envision.
What I should do specifically, which path I should take.
I have to work hard to find that from now on.
"…Well, shouldn't you just do whatever you want?"
"Yeah, I will… Thanks for listening to my story until the end."
"I didn't listen, it just entered my ears on its own… Like always."
"Fufu, your tsundere side is so cute, Nagisa-chan."
"I'll smack you."
Even while saying that, Nagisa-chan accepted me as she always does, and together we returned to Nakamura-san's circle.
I've been making them worry for a while now, so from here on, I'll take the lead and liven up the group.
With a smile. And with a cheerful and energetic demeanor.
Like the sun, that brightens everyone's spirits.
"…By the way, Amami."
"Feh? What is it?"
"You were so serious until just now, what's with that dopey voice and face…"
"Ehehe, I was trying so hard for so long, I kind of got tired."
"Jeez… Anyway, about what you were saying earlier. About how you're going to stop imitating someone or whatever."
"? Yeah."
"Why did you tell me first? Shouldn't you normally tell someone you're closer to? Not me, but Nitta, or even Yama."
"Of course I'll tell everyone later, you know? But I just thought Nagisa-chan should be the first."
"And why is that?"
"Because I thought that if I was ever being useless, you would scold me without mercy, Nagisa-chan. In terms of just being closeness, it would be Nina-chi, but Nina-chi, unlike you, is incredibly kind."
It's one of Nina-chi's good points that she always stands by me as an ally, but with my personality, I would just end up being too spoiled by that.
Of course, Nagisa-chan is also on the kinder side, and she's surprisingly caring.
However, because she can always look at things objectively in any situation and tell me things without a single millimeter of consideration for my feelings, among the people I know, Nagisa-chan is the one I can trust the most.
"So, you know, Nagisa-chan."
"…I refuse."
"Muu~ I haven't said anything yet~"
"You're going to say something like 'Let's be friends from now on' and act all buddy-buddy, right?"
"...…Ehehe~"
"I refuse."
"Muu~! Come on. We're comrades who fought together! Let's be friends~"
"How long are you going to drag out the class tournament story? Give it a rest."
"Oh, Nagisa-chan, we're almost at our destination! Ah~ I'm so hungry~"
"Listen to me, dammit."
And with that, my first love came to a complete end.
…No, to be honest, I still have feelings for Maki-kun. He was that wonderful of a boy to me, and it'll probably take a little more time to put those feelings in the past.
But now that I've declared it like this, I will never go back.
This time, I will go my own way.
I'll stop chasing after my best friend who's always going on ahead, and I'll carve out my own path. I've properly received the courage for that too.
I'm okay now.
So that I can say that with my chest held high to my friends, my family, and above all, myself.
I will look only forward and walk on.