Chapter 18
While Uchiha Ryo was enjoying his post-exam holiday—eating good food, drinking tea, and sleeping without worrying about the result of the examination. But the examiners were suffering inside the grading hall.
Total sixty-nine examiners sat around piles of answer sheets. Whenever they found a particularly good answer, they would call the others over to discuss it and remember the student's name. After all, future officials of the empire would come from these papers.
Examiner Volidimort picked up a paper and nodded.
"Hmm. This candidate, Lallu Kallu, has excellent ideas about famine relief. He suggested reducing taxes, creating emergency food reserves, and improving transportation routes."
Nearby examiners nodded in approval.
"But..." Volidimort rubbed his forehead. "His example uses rock-hard dried shit as the primary emergency food source."
The room went silent.
Hurri Potter immediately objected.
"Voli, you're too obsessed with perfection. What's wrong with rock-hard shit? Perhaps the student is simply thinking outside the box. You should open your heart more."
Volidimort stared at him.
Then smiled.
"Hurri, open your mouth."
"What?"
"Tomorrow I'll personally find the smelliest rock-hard shit in the empire and feed it to you. After that, I'll open my heart."
Hurri Potter instantly became quiet.
Suikuna slammed his brush onto the table.
"Stop wasting time arguing about shit and grade the papers properly. It's a national duty that you can't neglect."
Volidimort nodded.
"Twenty-three correct answers out of twenty-five. Excellent structure. Two marks deducted for attempting to solve famine with compressed shit bricks. Final score: ninety."
Nobody objected.
Even Hurri Potter couldn't defend that one.
At another table sat Gojo.
As always, he wore his famous blindfold.
The younger examiners looked at him with admiration. Gojo's talent was legendary. People claimed at age six, he could allegedly read books from sixty meters away while blindfolded.
At age ten, he accidentally exposed three students for cheating while sleeping.
At age fourteen, he reportedly corrected a poem that was hidden inside a closed drawer.
Whether these stories were true or not—
nobody knew.
Some believed the stories were exaggerated. Others believed the stories were actually underestimating him.
Only Suikuna was considered his equal.
Gojo casually grabbed a random paper and started reading.
Without removing his blindfold.
Without even facing the paper correctly.
Several younger examiners immediately sighed in admiration.
"Truly a genius."
"Look at that confidence."
"I once tried reading while blindfolded."
"What happened?"
"I walked into a wall."
The older examiners nodded sympathetically.
Then suddenly—
Gojo's body froze.
His mouth slowly opened.
Then he suddenly stood up.
"OH MY HOLY MOLY OF GOD IS IMAGINARY MASS CALLED HOLLOW PURPLE!"
The entire hall jumped.
One examiner spilled tea over three answer sheets.
Another accidentally gave a student full marks.
Suikuna frowned.
"What happened?"
Gojo pointed at the paper with a trembling finger.
"What... what a masterpiece..."
"What beautiful writing."
"What magnificent logic."
"What incredible confidence."
"What shameless nonsense."
Everyone became curious.
"What did he write?"
"What kind of answer is it?"
Gojo took a deep breath.
"This candidate is a genius."
The room nodded.
That wasn't unusual.
Then Gojo continued.
"A genius... that even I cannot defeat."
Silence.
Complete silence.
Suikuna's eyes widened.
"What did you say?"
Gojo pointed dramatically at the paper.
"I said..."
"EVEN I CANNOT DEFEAT THIS GENIUS."
Then Suikuna shot to his feet.
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
An examiner whispered, "They're communicating in genius language."
Another replied, "No, they're just saying yes and no."
Suikuna snatched the paper.
"Move."
"I'll read it myself."
He began reading.
At first his face was calm.
Then his eyebrow twitched.
Then his eye twitched.
Then his soul twitched.
Finally he looked at the ceiling.
"Holy Mother of the Malevolent Shrine and the World-Cutting Slash..."
The room froze.
Even Suikuna looked shocked.
"This child... is a true genius."
Everyone immediately surrounded the paper.
Question 1: What was the name of the First Human Emperor and his hobby?
Answer:
"The First Emperor was Cin Tapak Dum Dum. He had four fingers on each hand, making eight fingers total. He was also bald. His favorite hobby was hypnotizing his queen and doing shameless things all night."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
The room became silent.
One examiner coughed.
Another examiner reread the answer.
A third nodded thoughtfully.
"You know... now that I think about it, the First Emperor really feels like a bald man."
Everyone turned toward him.
"WHY DOES HE FEEL LIKE A BALD MAN?"
"I don't know."
"But he does."
The examiner himself looked confused.
They moved to Question Two.
Write a poem about rocks.
Answer:
"You you you.
Rock rock rock.
I I I.
See see see a rock.
It's big when close.
It's small when far.
You you you.
Rock rock rock."
Silence.
A very long silence.
Finally Hurri Potter spoke.
"I don't understand it."
Another examiner nodded.
"Neither do I."
A third added,
"But somehow... I feel the loneliness of the rock."
A fourth nodded seriously.
"I feel the determination of the rock."
A fifth whispered,
"I think the rock symbolizes life."
Volidimort slammed the table.
"IT'S A ROCK!"
Everyone jumped.
"It's literally a rock! The poem is about a rock!"
The room fell silent again.
Then one examiner quietly said,
"What if that's the deeper meaning?"
Volidimort nearly had a stroke.
Then they read Question Three.
How do you catch corrupt officials?
Answer:
"Tell everyone to give gifts to the Emperor. Those who give too little are probably corrupt. Those who give too much are probably corrupt. Investigate them all. Execute those with evidence. Throw dirt on those without evidence so the Emperor's reputation remains clean."
"..."
"..."
"..."
The examiners stared at the answer.
Then stared at each other.
Then stared back at the answer.
One old examiner slowly nodded.
"...This actually sounds like something the Ministry of Justice would do."
Another nodded.
"Maybe that's why it's scary."
Gojo finally put down the paper.
Suikuna also put down the paper.
Volidimort looked exhausted.
Hurri Potter looked spiritually damaged.
Gojo sighed.
"This candidate is either the greatest genius of our generation..."
Suikuna finished the sentence.
"...or a complete lunatic."
The room nodded.
Then Gojo added,
"The terrifying part is that I genuinely can't tell which."
Far away inside an inn, Ryo suddenly sneezed.
Ryo rubbed his nose.
"Hmm. Someone must be praising my talent."
The system looked at him.
Then looked toward the heavens.
Then looked back at him.
"No, Host."
"They are suffering."
Chapter End.