Five partial payments.
Five.
Not one disaster. Not even a real failure.
Just the universe shaving coins off the top like it had a personal grudge.
Two silver thirty copper gone.
The debt now sat at one hundred and thirty-one gold, forty silver, twenty-two copper.
I memorized the copper.
That's where I was mentally.
Copper.
I walked out of Breth without saying a word.
North field. Empty. Grey sky.
I didn't bring notes.
This wasn't organized anymore.
I looked up.
"VEYRA!"
Wind moved.
"Oh, you're listening. I know you're listening. I can feel it. The count just went up, didn't it? Yeah. Hi. This is live."
I pointed straight up.
"What is WRONG with you?!"
Rain threatened.
"Five jobs! FIVE! We did the job! And then at the very end— oh, minus thirty percent, sorry, you breathed wrong near the grain sack! Minus twenty percent, you found the dog too efficiently! What does that even mean?!"
I paced in a circle.
"And the rats! The RAT, Veyra! I died to a basement rat! Do you know how humiliating that is?! I can't even dramatize it! 'How did you die, hero?' 'Oh, you know. Rodent.'"
I clutched my hair.
"And when I come back— when I claw my way back into my own lungs— what do I hear?!"
I cupped my ear.
"HAHAHAHA!"
I pointed upward again.
"You! Laughing! Do you know what that does to a man's dignity?! It murders it! Again!"
Thunder rolled faintly.
"And the pig pen!"
I spun in place.
"Who lands someone in a pig pen?! Was there a rock shortage?! A field shortage?! You had the entire continent and you picked pigs! The pigs were judging me! I could feel it!"
Above, angels were freezing mid-step.
Below, I was not stopping.
"And the sword!"
I drew it halfway and waved it.
"No Vein trace! No explanation! Just mysterious glowing metal and 'good luck'! Do you WANT shady dealers whispering about me?! Do you wake up and think 'How can I make this worse for him today?' Is that the stream theme?!"
Rain started properly.
Good.
Dramatic.
"You sit up there! Warm! Dry! With snacks probably! And I am down here calculating copper!"
I jabbed my finger upward.
"Copper, Veyra! I know the copper!"
I started pacing faster.
"Eleven years! Do you understand what eleven years is?! I died at eighteen! I will be nearly thirty grinding rat jobs because you couldn't provide a basic starter kit!"
I spread my arms wide.
"Was a guide too much?! A 'Welcome to Erdvael' scroll?! A small map?! A warning that the rats here are apparently elite assassins?!"
Above, Veyra stiffened.
"That rat was statistically—"
"I DON'T CARE ABOUT RAT STATISTICS!"
Rain hit harder.
"And don't think I forgot about that useless goddess from my world!"
I pointed aggressively at the clouds.
"She at least showed up! She fell into rivers! She broke things in person! She cried loudly and publicly! You? You're a long-distance useless goddess!"
Lightning flickered faintly.
"At least she had the decency to be bad at her job nearby!"
I paced again.
"You are worse! WORSE! She destroyed a city wall and cried for three days! You destroy my financial future and laugh!"
Above, Veyra shot upright.
"I do not destroy—"
"And don't pretend you don't love this!" I shouted.
"You're enjoying this! Admit it! The rat! The bridge! The pig pen! This whole 'look at the idiot struggle' arc! This is content to you!"
My voice cracked slightly.
"And I'm the idiot!"
Silence.
Then quieter, angrier:
"I didn't ask for this."
Rain soaked through my jacket.
"I didn't ask to die. I didn't ask to grind for eleven years. I didn't ask to be your entertainment."
My breathing was uneven now.
"And if you're going to be useless, at least be useless nearby!"
I pointed again.
"Fall in a river! Trip over a cloud! Do something embarrassing in person!"
Above, angels were not surviving.
Veyra's arms were crossed so tight her knuckles were pale.
"I resurrect him every time," she muttered.
"I HEARD THAT!"
I wasn't sure if I actually did.
I pointed again.
"You think bringing me back fixes it?! 'Oh sorry about the rat, here's consciousness again!' That doesn't erase the humiliation!"
I took a step forward.
"You are the worst!"
Rain poured.
"You are the absolute worst goddess I have ever encountered!"
I paused.
"…Which is technically one, but that's not the point!"
Thunder cracked louder this time.
I was shaking now.
Not from cold.
From adrenaline.
"And don't think I didn't notice the debt climbing like it's on a ladder to hell! One hundred and thirty-one gold! Forty silver! Twenty-two copper! I KNOW THE COPPER!"
My voice finally snapped fully.
"DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT DOES TO A MAN TO MEMORIZE COPPER?!"
Silence.
Heavy rain.
I stood there breathing hard.
Voice gone.
Chest tight.
Legs weak.
I dropped into the grass.
"This is ridiculous," I muttered.
"I agree."
I flinched.
Mira sat down beside me.
When had she gotten there?
"You heard that."
"Yes."
"How bad."
She tilted her head.
"Very loud."
"Good."
Rain slid down her hair.
She didn't move away.
"You're angry," she said quietly.
"No," I snapped automatically.
She just looked at me.
"…Yes," I muttered.
She watched the sky.
"You don't like being laughed at."
That hit too cleanly.
I didn't answer.
"You don't like feeling small."
I swallowed.
"Who does."
Silence between us.
Rain steady.
"I don't think you're small," she said.
That wasn't dramatic.
That wasn't loud.
That landed harder than the thunder.
I looked at her.
She was looking at the sky, not at me.
Then she shifted slightly—
Her foot slipped.
And suddenly she was falling.
On me.
We hit the wet grass again.
Her hands braced on my chest.
Her hair fell around us.
Too close.
Way too close.
Rain tapping against both of us.
We froze.
Her eyes met mine.
Not startled.
Not embarrassed.
Something else.
Soft.
Certain.
Then awareness hit both of us at once.
She pushed up too fast.
I sat up too fast.
We knocked foreheads lightly.
"Sorry," I said.
"Sorry," she said.
We stood.
Both red.
Both very interested in anything that wasn't each other.
"The ground is slippery," I said.
"Yes."
Silence.
We started walking back.
Not touching.
Very aware.
At the edge of the field, Rael had her arms crossed.
Senna had her book out.
Rael looked at me.
"You feel better?"
"No."
She nodded.
"Good."
Senna looked thoughtful.
"The comparison to the other goddess was bold."
"I stand by it."
From very far above:
Laughter.
Warm.
Uncontrolled.
"I CAN STILL HEAR YOU!" I shouted upward.
Rael made a noise that was absolutely a laugh and refused to admit it.
Mira walked slightly closer to me than before.
Not touching.
But closer.
And when I glanced at her—
She was already looking at me.
Not flustered.
Not confused.
Just decided.
She didn't say it.
She didn't need to.
Above, in a warm room, Veyra watched the replay.
Not the yelling.
Not the insults.
The fall.
The look.
Her smile wasn't for the audience.
The count shattered records.
She didn't check.