Ugh???
What... Happened?
Why... Do I feel... So tired?
The first thing Xenophanes felt was extreme exhaustion, alongside a splitting headache. It was like his head was going to explode.
So... Tired.
So... Very... Tired.
His body was so heavy, so numb. Xeno couldn't even find the strength to open his eyes. Loud static buzzed in his ears, almost drowning out everything else.
He wanted to move, to do anything, but he was simply too weak. Too powerless to do anything at the moment.
Even if he was awake, that wouldn't last long. His consciousness started to fade away once more, the stress on his mind was simply too much for him to stay up.
Ugh...
Sleep... I want... to sleep badly... right now.
I'm... Going to...
"Cap—"
Huh? Is... someone... talking?
The sound was almost unnoticeable beneath the static, but he was sure he heard something.
"T— Pa—ent— up— cap— hea— ow—"
Xeno tried listening to the conversation. It was almost incomprehensible to him, and he didn't have the power to decipher it either.
What's... Going... On?
...
It... Doesn't... Matter... I... Need to... Sleep.
Feeling fully drained, he stopped trying to process anything and went back into a deep slumber.
...
Inside a cosy bedroom was Xenophanes, sleeping soundly. He snuggled with his blanket, muttering random words.
With a flick, the currents of the room were drawn, allowing sunlight into the room, brightening up the place.
Sharp light hit Xeno's face, disrupting his sleep. He turned away, trying to shield himself.
As if that wasn't enough, the sound of talking also contributed to disturbing him. Annoyance bubbled in Xeno, he was slowly waking up.
"Look, Reiny, he's waking up!" A voice shouted in relief.
"'Bout time. The kid really gave all of us a scare." A ruff older voice said.
Xeno: "Uggggggggh, what... the... heck!?" Opening his eyes, his vision blurred, a headache coming back.
His head was spinning, but it was nowhere near as bad as before.
Grunting, Xeno struggled to move his body, only for someone to suddenly gently help him up to a sitting position.
"Big bro! You're finally awake!!" A familiar voice shouted.
Xeno: "Huh?" Turning his head painfully slowly, he made out three people in the room with him.
Because of his blurred vision, he vaguely made them out: a kid with yellow hair, an old giant, and someone tall with red hair.
Recognition flashed through his eyes, but his brain struggled to fully remember them.
"You with us, kid?"
Xeno: "Huh?" He slowly blinked, trying to clear his vision. Fortunately, it didn't take him long to remember who was talking.
Xeno: "...Rom?" He said with difficulty.
Rom: "Good, you are with us. How are you feeling?"
Xeno: "...Numb."
"Do you feel any other discomfort? I can call a healer if you feel like you need it." The redhead said.
Xeno: "...Reiny? I'm... Fine... For now." He slowly blinked, his vision finally better. He looked at Felt.
She had a smile on her, happy about him being awake.
Felt: "Come on, Big Bro, let's get you moving. I bet you must be starving."
Xeno: "... Right."
...
Everyone made their way to the kitchen, with Xeno struggling to walk. After being in a coma for who knows how long, his body felt so numb, he couldn't even walk on his own.
Good thing Reinhard was there to help him out. As grateful as Xeno was for the help, by the time they reached the dining room, he was stable enough to walk by himself.
Sitting in their chairs, the food arrived shortly after. It was a wide variety of stuff, and according to Felt, most of it was made to help him recover.
Xeno didn't question it. Instead, without any eloquence, he dug straight in like a man who hadn't eaten anything in a week.
Which is technically true, but he was so focused on eating that he didn't even see the complex look on the others' faces. Clearly, something was bothering them.
But they stayed quiet.
After finishing his meal, he felt better than ever, his energy returning to him in strides. Stretching his shoulders, he leaned back contentedly.
Xeno: "Thanks, guys. I really was hungry, wasn't I?" He patted his stomach.
Reinhard: "Are you feeling well, then?" He said uncharacteristically seriously.
Xeno: "Better than ever." He raised a brow. Something was... off.
In fact, the situation was feeling off. Felt, usually so energetic and talkative, was really quiet.
Rom: "Tell me, Xeno, what's the last thing you remember?" He asked, focusing in on his expressions.
Reinhard and Felt's eyes widened in surprise, not expecting the giant to address the issue this soon.
Felt: "Old man Rom! He just woke up!!" She slammed her hands on the table.
Reinhard: "Rom-sama, is this really wise?" He said, not wanting to put more strain on Xeno.
Xeno: "Ummm, what? What are any of you talking about?"
Felt: "It's n-nothing. Forget old man Rom said anything." She waved her hands.
Xeno: "...What I last remember, right?" He turned to Rom, who nodded.
Felt: "Wait! Big bro, don't you think you should relax? There's no need for you to do this right now!" She frantically said.
It was too late. Xeno rubbed his chin, thinking hard about the last thing he was doing.
Xeno: 'Let's see, I was fighting some freak, he possessed me, then I blew my head off to stop him from taking my body... that means!!!'
Xeno snapped up, alerted. He looped. He fucking looped. That means he has to stop those hooded figures from attacking again.
Xeno: "Fuck! Everyone's in danger!" He shouted as he prepared to run off.
Before he could even attempt that, a firm hand on his shoulders locked him in place.
Reinhard: "Xeno, I know you're worried, but I ask you to please sit down. We have... a lot to discuss."
Xeno struggled but couldn't break free. But one look at Reinhard's heavy and pleading face made him stop.
Xeno: "..."
"...Alright, I'll sit down for now." From the looks of things, this was going to be very serious.
...
Sitting back down, the atmosphere in the dining room took a huge turn. It was tense and heavy with something he couldn't tell.
Felt clearly didn't want Xeno to hear what was going to happen earlier, but it's unavoidable now. Reinhard maintained a solemn look, while Rom was the only one who looked composed.
Rom: "I'll ask again. What's the last thing you remember?"
Xeno: "Being at Crusch's place." He answered. He didn't know where his checkpoint was, so that seemed like the safe option.
Reinhard flinched, while Rom narrowed his eyes.
'He's lying?' Both conculed with their own means but didn't understand why he did. But now isn't the time for that.
Felt: "You were unconscious for that long!" Her eyes widened.
Xeno: "What's that supposed to mean?" Once asking this, he began to think once again, in visible confusion.
'Actually, what am I even doing here? This is definitely the Astrea Mansion in the nobles district. Shouldn't I be with Felix? And where's Rem?'
Reinhard: "Xeno... You've been unconscious for a week."
"WHAT!!!!!" He stood up again. Being shocked, half by the time frame... And the implication of it.
Xeno: "What happened to Roswaal's territory!!? Are they alright? Where Are they? Did those freaks get them?"
He dropped all pretense, not even caring about the surprised reaction of the others.
Rom: "How–"
Xeno: "That isn't important. Are my friends safe? What happened to them? Where is Emilia, Ram, Meili, Rem, and the others?" He desperately asked.
A suffocating silence was the answer he received.
Xeno: "No... No, no, no, no, no. Felt! Please tell me it isn't... It can't be..." He can be oblivious, but even he can read the room.
Felt avoided eye contact.
"I'm sorry, Big bro."
Xeno: "..."
His body shook from dread. Everyone was... No, he shook his head. There was one more person he needed to know about.
Xeno: "Where's Rem? Why isn't she here as well?"
Rom: "Who is that?"
Xeno: "Right, you never met before. She's the blue-haired maid that was with me."
Another silence ensued.
Xeno: "W-Where's Rem?" He asked, fear creeping into his mind.
'No, no, please no. Don't let it be. Not you as well. Rem, you wouldn't have.'
Xeno: "I said WHERE THE FUCK IS REM!? ANSWER ME, DAMN IT!!" He roared furiously when nobody was answering.
Reinhard: "I'm sorry, Xeno, but we found her... dead alongside you."
Rom: "From the report we received, she died protecting you from the Witch Cult. Until she died right on your lap."
Xeno: "..."
Something inside Xenophanes broke. He fell back and slumped in his chair, his eyes gone.
From that, Rom and Reinhard gave the events of last week to him. And it was devastating. Apparently, Xeno had been in a coma for a week.
He was found days later in a cave. Transferred for immediate medical attention.
After he was stabilized, Felt's camp took custody of him. For political reasons he couldn't understand. But that wasn't what he cared about. It was the fact...
Emilia's camp was completely annihilated.
An organization called the Witch Cult attacked Roswaal's Territory, killing everyone.
There were no survivors. As if that wasn't bad enough, Puck, after losing Emilia, tried to freeze the entire world in a fit of grief.
Reinhard tried to convince him to stop, but Puck simply didn't want to live in a world without Emilia.
So Reinhard had no choice but to slay Puck in the end.
Xeno: "..."
By the time they reached the end, Xeno had blanked out. All colour draining away, looking completely empty.
Felt: "Big Bro... Are you alright?" She hesitantly said at his prolonged silence.
Xeno: "Reinhard, do I have a room to stay in?" His voice was blank, without emotion.
Reinhard: "Yes, the room you were sleeping in. You can stay in it as long as you like. Would you like me to–"
Xeno: "No, I'll be going now. Goodbye." He flatly rejected it. Getting up slumped, he began walking away.
Watching him leave, Reinhard wanted to comfort him, but Rom stopped him, explaining to both Felt and Reinhard.
Rom: "I know you want to help the kid. I want to as well... But the best thing we can do right now is give him some space."
Felt: "Alright... Old man Rom." She didn't like it, but she understood.
Rom is right. They needed to give Xeno some space.
...
Xeno: "..."
In his room, Xeno lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling. So much happened without him. Emilia, Ram, Rem, Meili, Puck... Gone.
Just like that, the life Xeno had built was destroyed for the second time. Ripped away just like everything in his old world, his family and friends.
Xeno had always stopped himself from thinking about just how miserable his disappearance would cause his family to be.
But now, the only thing he could do was think. Realistically, there were two ways his family was coping.
Either they were desperately searching for him to this day, without a single result. Or... They had given up, accepting that Xeno was gone, dead.
Both were terrible to consider.
And this world, the relationships he built... It was deeper, more selfish than he wanted to admit. But why lie to himself now?
At first, it was only there to fill the void of his old world. His desire for comfort, being doted on, and feeling the center of everyone's care all of it was his attempt to replicate his old life.
it was then, it evolved into something more... Home. He enjoyed living with everyone. He, for a while, didn't feel insecure about losing his home.
Only to lose it not once, but twice, in a short time span. How was any sane man supposed to process this?
Unless you have the mental fortitude of a monster. The answer is, you can't.
Xeno: "Why?" He asked the question he wanted the answer to most.
Why does he have to go through this? What made him so special? Out of everyone in the entire world, why was he chosen to be transported to this world?
What God or Entity thought it was okay to rip him out of his home? To strip him bare? He didn't ask for this. Was it fun for them to watch him suffer, to watch him struggle?
Is that what he is... entertainment? Is that why he has this DAMN RBD, so he can keep entertaining them?
Fuck that! Fuck everything!!!
Xeno clenched his teeth, anger boiling inside him. He sat upright as his thoughts continued to spiral.
Who are they to toy with him? Why did they choose him and not any other poor sucker? There were hundreds of more interesting options than him. Why does he have to do this at all? Why was he given Return by Death? To what? So he can suffer more? To play hero?
Why did he have to use it to save people? Why did he have to be betrayed? Why does he have to solve these problems? Why does he have to deal with other people's problems? Why can they solve it by themselves? Why does he have to deal with these damn Cultists? Why did they have to target Emilia? Why does she even have to look like her?
Why did he have to play hero to save them? Can't they do it themselves? Why did he have to fight a Calamity to save others? Why does he have to be forgotten? Why did he have to rebuild them in the first place? Why did those damn Cultists attack when everything was going well for him?
Why does he have to fight them off? Why did he have to take a life again and again? Why did he have to nearly die? Why did that freak have to take possession of his body? Why did he have to sacrifice himself?
Why can't they mind their own damn business and leave him alone?
Why did he have to be unconscious? Why was he asleep, unable to save anyone of them? He tried his best, didn't he? Wasn't it good enough? After all the effort he spent, why did it amount to nothing?
Was it even worth it?
Right now... He didn't have a answer for that. Laying back down, he thought it was better to just sleep. Stressing himself out wasn't helping anyone.
Xeno: 'Iet sleep for now. I'll deal with this later.' He closed his eyes hoping to stop thinking entirely.
...
He couldn't.
...
Several hours later.
Reinhard van Astrea walked towards Xeno's room. Ever since the news hit, Xeno had completely locked himself in.
Reinhard was extremely worried about his friend's mental state, if the occasional screaming and things breaking were anything to go by.
He really was not doing well.
Standing in front of the door, Reinhard composed himself, knocking on the door. He called out.
Reinhard: "Xeno, are you awake?"
Xeno didn't respond.
Reinhard: "Shall I give you something to eat?"
Xeno: "No..." He finally responded after a minute.
Reinhard's eyes widened, not by the response, but by the tone. It sounded so hollow. It saddened him that his friend had to go through this and couldn't do much to help.
Unlike the first time they met, Xeno was facing something much worse.
Reinhard: "Xeno, while I would respect your wishes, you can't neglect your body. You've been comatose for a week. Staying inactive can be bad for your body, especially after being unconscious for so long."
He paused before continuing.
Reinhard: "You should at least get up and at least eat just a little and move around. Even a short walk would be beneficial."
Xeno: "...Fine."
Reinhard was relieved that it worked. He would try to help Xeno recover as much as he could. That relief, however, was short-lived when Xeno opened the door.
Standing at the other side was Xeno, except he had undergone a drastic makeover. His head and arms were covered in an extremely light purple to the point it actually looked white.
The bandages on his head covered everything except his left eye, which was hollow, and some patches of his snow-white hair.
The bandages on his arms, aside from the tips of his fingers, hung loosely and covered them.
Reinhard: "Xeno, what is... this?" He blinked, not sure what to make of his sudden change.
Xeno: "Let's just go." He walked past, not in the mood to answer.
...
Out in the merchant district, Felt, Reinhard, and Xeno walked through the streets. Being nighttime, the streets weren't as densely populated as they typically were.
The purpose of this outing was getting Xeno out of his stagnation. The two couldn't exactly fix his depression, but they could ease it a little.
For the past few hours, they had been trying that. Felt could confidently say they had done everything this shifty capital had to offer.
Unfortunately, that had done little to cheer him up. Xeno engaged little with his surroundings. He played along with them, but it was half-hearted and disinterested.
Taking a small break, they decided to go to one more place before calling it quits. A shopping mall.
Yes, a shopping mall, but Felt and Reinhard had a legitimate reason for it. Something about a promise to someone. Regardless, Felt expected the same response he gave.
Only for it to be different.
Xeno: "Actually, you two go ahead. I have a place I wanna head to." He said with traces of real emotions.
'Somewhere he wants to go?' This intrigued the both of them.
Felt: "Then let's go there first, Big Bro. The mall can wait!"
Reinhard: "I see no harm in doing that." He nodded in agreement.
Xeno: "No!" He flatly refused.
Felt: "What!? Why not?" She got a bit annoyed by his stubbornness.
Xeno: "No means no. The place I'm going doesn't accept kids." He narrowed his brow.
Felt: "Kid! Who you calling a kid?" She said in outrage.
Xeno: "You obviously... Kid." He drove his point further by ruffling Felt's hair, a hint of amusement in his voice.
Felt: "Why, you." A blush formed on her cheeks. Without hesitation, she kicked Xeno, aiming straight for the nuts.
Fortunately, or unfortunately for Felt, her kick was caught by Reinhard, who had the same patient face as always.
Reinhard: "Felt-sama, please try to behave more lady-like." He repeated those words who knows how many times by this point.
Felt: "Let go, I'm going to kick the smug bastard's ass." She struggled to get out of his grip.
Xeno: "You two have fun. I have somewhere private to be." He turned around, walking away.
But Felt wasn't going to let him have the last laugh, so she shouted behind him. The moment Reinhard let go of her.
"Fine, go play in your brothel. I don't care, Big Bro."
Xeno nearly tripped on his own feet. He snapped back, embarrassed as hell.
"I'm not going to a fucking brothel!!!"
The moment he said this, Felt immediately used her Divine Protection to bolt away, laughing hysterically.
Xeno: "That damn brat!" Since she had already escaped, he turned back to walk, grumbling.
Meanwhile, Reinhard just stood in the middle, watching the whole thing happen. He turned towards Xeno's direction, then Felt's. Ultimately, he decided to follow his lady.
As he did, one thought did pass through his mind.
Reinhard: 'At least... He isn't downcast for now?' He didn't know whether that was a good or bad thing.
...
It didn't take long for Xeno to arrive at his location. He had noticed it before and wanted to check it out.
The place in question being a bar.
The temptation of drowning out his emotions under strong alcohol was irresistible to Xeno right now.
If it helps him stop thinking just for a moment, he doesn't care what it is. He'll do it.
Walking into the bar, numerous eyes were on him. His current bandage-covered look combined with his empty eye wasn't average, per se. Xeno paid them no mind.
Other people's judgment was the last thing he cared about right now. Sitting down, a staff member approached, nervous of his appearance.
"W-What would you like, sir?" She stammered as Xeno's blank eye looked at her.
Xeno: "Give me anything strong, that's guaranteed to get him drunk in moments." He said without a second thought.
"A-At once, sir."
While Xeno waited for his alcohol, at a nearby table, a plot was about to brew. Unbeknownst to Xeno and the other party, they would be seeing a familiar face.
A few tables away, a celebration was at hand. A group of young knights had come here to celebrate the graduation of their fellow friend and knight in training.
A spirited young man with wild blue hair and magenta eyes slammed down his huge wooden cup of beer onto the table.
"You already know the deal. We're to celebrate Ralph officially being a knight. So without further ado." He locked eyes with his four companions with a grin.
"Let's get smaaaaaaashed!!!" He yelled out before chugging the entire cup.
"Yeaaaah!!!" The others, except for one, cheered with equal amount of enthusiasm.
"Sigh, James, sometimes I wonder how you even became a knight with that mouth of yours." He rubbed the bridge of his nose, but he couldn't hide the faint smile he had.
James: "Oh, stop being a stuck-up, will you? Catterin. Would it hurt your smart ass if you let loose for a while?"
"For the last time, James, my name is Catherine, not Catterin!!!" His eyes twitched in annoyance.
James: "Whatever you say... Catterin." A shit-eating grin was plastered on his face.
Catherine, not letting this go, went on a full-blown rant about these things. The guy couldn't even understand when someone was joking. The others in the group snickered, watching their banter.
I bet you are wondering who these guys are, right? I don't blame you. They only have screen time for like two minutes.
These golly gang of knights here are the same people who ambushed Xeno and Rem on their date, attacking Rem specifically.
By the way. James was the guy who called Rem a bitch. Hope that jogs your memories.
...
Moving on, the group celebrated in full force. Being a knight is no easy task. They raised their jugs in the air, cheered, then gulped down with not a care in the world.
It felt like nothing could stop them, until one of them turned their head a few degrees to the side. The moment he saw Xeno, he spit all of his beer onto James's face, coughing himself.
Catherine: "Pfffff." He couldn't help himself from laughing.
James: "What gives, Harlow? The heck was that for?" He said with a displeased look on his face.
Harlow: "I-It, I-it, It's, It's him!!!" He pointed a trembling finger at someone.
Following the finger, their gaze landed on Xeno. The others were equally surprised. There was Xeno, drinking an entire bottle of strong alcohol.
Harlow: "Fuck! It's that guy! What's he doing here?"
Catherine: "What do we do? Why is he even here?" He said.
Harlow: "Wait a minute?"
James: "Fuck, fuck, what do we do?" He said, looking at Catherine.
"Guys, I think Harlow has figured something out." The fourth guy, the lucky guy called Patrick, called out.
Catherine: "How should I know?"
Harlow: "Guys, I got it." He yelled, gaining the two's attention.
"We call Sir Carlos. He'll deal with this."
James: "Are you crazy!? Don't you remember what that freak did to Sir Carlos? He nearly killed him. Absolutely not, we are not calling him." He was furious at the very idea.
Harlow: "I'm not suggesting that. Sir Carlos himself wants that."
James: "..."
Catherine: "...What do you mean?"
Harlow: "It's true. Sir Carlos himself ordered me, if I ever found that guy again, I should contact him. Make sure he stays in the area until he arrives."
James: "Sir Carlos said that... Why?"
Harlow: "I don't know, but hurry. Contact him right now."
Catherine: "R-Right." He pulled out his Metias, the magic mirror, contacting him.
...
On Xeno's counter, he was facing a bit of an issue. He had underestimated alcohol in two ways: its effects and prices.
He knew he was immune to alcohol because of his metabolism. But he didn't think it would be so good that it could handle even this level of alcohol.
This made him furious, and adding to that fury were the unfair prices. Sure, it's high-tier alcohol, but costing gold coins per bottle is ridiculous, for his greedy heart.
So right now, he was busy yelling random angry gibberish while giving away his money.
Xeno: "Here, take my money and fuck off." He said, grinding his teeth.
"Of course. I hope you come back again." A different staff member said, used to this.
Xeno: "Tsk, I'm going now."
"Actually, sir, one more thing." He said with a ridiculously polite smile.
Xeno: "What!" He said, aggravated.
"You broke some of our premium bottles. You have to pay for those too."
Xeno: "Are you fucking kidding me!?"
"No, sir, I am not."
Xeno: "Ugh, fine. How much?" He grumbled.
"Three gold coins."
Xeno: "T-Three gold coins." He choked on his own saliva.
Xeno: "Are you insane? If these things are that expensive, why do you place them near drunk and volatile people? What, do you want people to break these?" He raised his hands in frustration.
"Exactly, sir." He shamelessly confirmed.
Xeno: "..."
Xeno: "This is robbery."
"No, it's business." He said with a flawless smile.
Xeno: "..."
"It seems you're unwilling to pay this man. In that case, allow me." A sound interrupted them. Turning to the speaker, both were surprised.
"Sir Carlos Jaspmen!" The employee stiffened, then executed a perfect bow.
"G-Greetings, Sir Carlos. How may I serve you?"
Carlos: "Here, the payment of this gentleman. While you're at it, make sure no one disturbs us." He handed the servant three gold coins.
"O-Of course, sir! Right away!" He accepted and executed his instructions immediately.
With that done, Carlos turned his attention towards Xenophanes.
Xeno: "You! What are you doing here?" He spat out with bile.
Carlos: "We meet again. And this time..." He pulled out the chair and sat in front of Xeno, interjoining his fingers.
"I'm not here to fight. Instead, we have a lot to discuss... Don't you think?"