Chapter 45: We Must Film This Abstract Masterpiece!
"Alright, the video is done! March 7th, Stelle, Caelus, take a look at this first. We'll base our acting on it later."
Leon tapped his screen a few times, tossing the file into a freshly created group chat. His tone was breezy, carrying that signature hint of amusement.
"Huh? You finished it already?" March 7th blinked, her pink hair bouncing as she tilted her head. "Wait a second. If the video is already completely edited, what exactly are we supposed to act out?"
She crossed her arms, slipping right into her usual complaining routine. "Normally, don't you plan the script, set up the camera, and then we do our thing?"
Despite her grumbling, her curiosity won out. Her finger hovered over her phone screen before tapping the glowing play icon.
Ding-dong, ding-dong~ Diu-pa-pa-pa~ Boing-boing~
An aggressively upbeat, incredibly brainwashing electronic melody blasted from her phone speakers. It was the kind of quirky, synthesized beat designed to embed itself directly into the listener's cerebral cortex, layered over with a ridiculously cheerful voiceover.
On the glowing screen, a chibi version of March 7th popped into existence. The tiny, super-deformed caricature flashed rapidly from the left, then the bottom, then the right side of the frame. The animated chibi pointed playfully at the camera, a tiny pixelated sparkle of starlight shimmering on her thumb. She wore a brilliant, exaggerated smile—one eye curved into a happy little crescent moon, the other wide and sparkling with lively energy.
Diu~ Pa-pa-pa~
Right on cue, a chibi Conductor Pom-Pom slid onto the screen, accompanied by a shiny visual effect. The tiny rabbit-like creature threw up a thumbs-up, dancing a jig across the right, bottom, and left borders of the video, perfectly matching the infectious tempo.
Boing-boing~
The chibi March 7th bounced back into the center frame, mirroring the thumbs-up with maximum enthusiasm.
Pa-pa-pa~ Woof-woof~
Chibi Pom-Pom reappeared. This time, the animation featured an extra little pose where the Conductor's long, fluffy ears were playfully squished together over their head.
March 7th stared at her screen, utterly stunned. Her mouth hung open slightly. "What... what in the world is this weird dubbing?"
She slapped a hand over her forehead, groaning at the sheer absurdity of it all. Yet, despite her vocal protests, her shoulders gave her away. They twitched. Then, they started swaying. Her foot tapped against the floorboards. The melody was a viral hazard—an inexplicably catchy earworm that bypassed all logical defenses.
Across the room, Stelle and Caelus were already lost to the music. The two Trailblazers had fully entered the zone, their hips twisting and arms waving in perfect sync with the chaotic beat.
"Ding-dong, ding-dong~ Diu-pa-pa-pa~ Boing-boing..."
They didn't just dance; they vocalized. The pair flawlessly mimicked the magical, high-pitched dubbing, their deadpan expressions contrasting hilariously with their goofy movements.
Ding-dong, ding-dong~ Bee-boop, bee-boop~ Diu-pa-pa-pa~ Boing-boing... Checkmate!
At the dramatic, slightly goofy declaration of "Checkmate!", the video's art style snapped. The chibi Pom-Pom instantly morphed into a derpy, wide-eyed doodle, the sudden drop in artistic quality radiating pure comedic genius.
"Pom-Pom, why are you still... zoning out?" The chibi March 7th transformed right alongside the Conductor. Her tiny animated cheeks puffed out into an adorable, angry little bun, while a massive, throbbing red cross-popping vein symbol flashed in the bottom left corner.
"Come and taste the power of this girl!"
The chaotic animation vanished. For a fraction of a second, the screen cut to a high-definition, real-life recording of March 7th herself. She was caught mid-leap, her bow drawn back in a genuinely cool, heroic posture as she fired an arrow downward. The badass shot lasted barely a second before the beat dropped, violently yanking the viewer back into chibi madness.
Pew-pew-pew!
The cheerful dubbing returned with a vengeance. The chibi March 7th cycled through a rapid-fire series of expressions. One frame, she sported a blindingly happy smile; the next, she was shouting through a tiny plastic megaphone; a second later, she was violently waving a pair of glowing cheering sticks. The cuteness overload was weaponized.
"It's my turn to appear~ Boing-boing-boing..."
The chibi flashed across the screen at breakneck speed. Left thumb up. Right finger pointing. Spinning. Jumping. The animation was incredibly fluid, packing an absurd amount of lively movement into a tiny, squishy character model.
"Stand still obediently..." The chibi puffed out her chest, tilting her head back in a display of immense, unearned pride.
"Don't you dare run~ Pew-pew-pew..." The pride vanished, instantly replaced by a pitiful, teary-eyed pout that was scientifically designed to evoke sympathy.
"Looks like I have to make a move!"
"Meow meow~ Diona's special drink~"
Without warning, a completely different character spliced into the montage. A chibi Diona flashed onto the screen—first standing normally with her feline ears twitching, then lunging forward with her claws outstretched like a feisty kitten pouncing on a toy.
Pew-pew! The video violently snapped back to March 7th.
"Huh?" Stelle paused her dancing for a fraction of a second, scratching her messy gray hair. "Who was that cat girl just now? Why did her voice sound exactly like March?"
She squinted at the screen, thoroughly confused. But the barrage of stickers was moving way too fast for her to process. She decided to just vibe for now and analyze the lore implications on her second watch.
Watching them, Leon let out a quiet, internal sigh of regret. It was a tragedy, really. There wasn't a single soul in this universe who could appreciate the sheer meta-brilliance of that reference. After all, how could they know that March 7th and the feisty bartender from another world shared the exact same voice?
"The consequences of offending this girl... Boing-boing!"
Another dazzling cascade of March 7th emotes exploded across the screen.
"Go for it in one breath~ Pew~ Pew!"
The frames blurred together in a colorful frenzy.
"Occasionally, one should get serious."
The audio tried to sound deep and threatening, but the visual paired with it was just a chibi March 7th lazily sucking on a massive, swirly lollipop.
"Charge!"
The screen cut to her hugging a massive pile of glittering treasure chests, literal golden stars shining in her oversized eyes.
"Very good, very spirited... Pew-pew!"
The chaotic montage smoothly looped back into the main, cheerful rhythm.
"Ready to depart... Yay! Boing-boing!"
"Let's go!"
"With this girl on the move, how could I possibly lose..."
"Um~ Ah~ It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts..."
The emotional whiplash was spectacular. One second, the chibi radiated absolute, untouchable confidence. The very next frame, she was clutching her head with a pitiful, tear-streaked face, perfectly matching the sudden comedic shift in the audio.
"Don't worry, don't worry~ Discerning everything..."
The animated March 7th slid a pair of heart-shaped sunglasses down her nose, a wide-brimmed sun hat resting on her head as she elegantly sipped from a tropical pink drink.
"Observant to the smallest detail..."
"That's talking about me, this girl!"
"Bring it on!"
"Are you ready?"
A blinding strobe-light effect of chibi emotes flashed by in rapid succession, finally freezing on a beautifully drawn frame of her holding up her signature camera, winking as the shutter clicked.
"Charge~ Let's go!"
The entire segment was nothing short of a personal, hyper-concentrated idol showcase dedicated entirely to March 7th. The video entered its final, chaotic crescendo. The audio sped up, layering voice lines over each other in a brain-melting display of cuteness.
"Come and taste the power of this girl~ Pew-pew!"
"It's my turn to appear~ Boing-boing!"
"Stand still obediently~ Don't you dare run! Pew~ Pew!"
"Looks like I have to make a move~ Meow!" The chibi Diona snuck in for one last cameo. "Diona's special drink~"
Pew! Back to March.
"The consequences... of provoking this girl~ Boing-boing!"
"Leave it to this girl... Pew-pew-pew!"
"With this girl on the move~ Yay!"
"Come and taste the power of this girl~ Pew-pew-pew!"
"Pa-pa-pa Pa-pa-pa... Boing-boing!"
"Go for it in one breath~ Pew~ Pew!"
"Pa-pa-pa Pa-pa-pa~ Woof-woof!"
"Looks like I need to make a move... Pew-pew-pew!"
"Pa-pa-pa Pa-pa-pa... Checkmate!"
"Bee-doop~ Bee-doop! Ah! This is home." The audio sighed happily, accompanied by a visual of chibi Pom-Pom looking absolutely furious, stomping their little feet.
"Not you..." Pom-Pom's angry face lingered, while a derpy, cross-eyed chibi March 7th floated across the background. "Pew-pew-pew!"
The screen went black. The video, clocking in at just under a minute and a half, had finished its assault on their senses.
"What on earth was that?!"
March 7th lunged forward, grabbing Leon by the shoulders and shaking him back and forth. Her face was flushed bright red, a mix of sheer embarrassment and disbelief. "Are you telling me you want me to memorize those chibi images and recreate all those ridiculous, cutesy movements and expressions in real life?!"
"That's exactly right." Despite being violently rattled back and forth, Leon's voice didn't waver. He remained completely unbothered, his posture as steady and immovable as a mountain. A teasing smirk played on his lips. "Don't you think it's super cute? It's incredibly catchy. Honestly, it fits your whole 'beautiful girl' persona perfectly."
"Bee-doop bee-doop~ Pew~ Pew!"
"Pa-pa pa-pa~ Boing-boing!"
Beside them, Stelle and Caelus had already fully committed to the bit. The abstract, brain-rotting magic of the video had struck a chord deep within their trash-panda souls. It was a flawless critical hit to their specific brand of humor. Without any prompting whatsoever, the two Trailblazers were deeply immersed in their rehearsal, striking poses and making sound effects with utter sincerity.
"Hey! You two!" March 7th whipped her head around, her eyes widening at the sight of her teammates aggressively throwing up peace signs and winking at the wall. "Stop learning it so enthusiastically!" She clutched her forehead again, her voice cracking as she shouted at them.
"But it's so interesting, don't you think?!" Stelle shot back, popping her hip out and framing her face with her hands. She was laughing brightly, clearly having the time of her life.
"Exactly! It's way too fun!" Caelus chimed in, dropping into a dramatic crouch. He looked up, his expression suddenly turning sour. "But why does it only use your image, March? It would be a million times better if we were the stars!"
"If you want this kind of image so badly, you can have it!" March 7th shrieked, her face burning. She was practically vibrating with exasperation, staring at the two grinning clowns before her. If she had the power, she would have gladly stuffed both of them into the phone screen on the spot.
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