Chapter 18: Aha: Waking Up to Find I've Dropped to Second Place
Leon raised an eyebrow. The glowing screen of his phone illuminated his face in the dim room. His thumbs flew across the virtual keyboard, tapping out a quick response.
[Leon: Why can't you give me a blessing? Is it because you're unable to?]
He genuinely felt a flicker of confusion. Logically speaking, an Aeon granting a blessing to a mortal should be as simple as breathing. It was entirely dependent on their fleeting whims.
[Aha: Aha doesn't know either! Maybe it's because you're not from this world.]
Leon paused, his thumb hovering over the screen. He fell into deep thought. Did his status as an anomaly, a soul from beyond the imaginary tree, completely block Aha's ability to grant him a blessing?
That theory felt flawed. The eighteen Paths of the universe were laid out clearly before his mind's eye, practically shimmering like eager puppies waiting for his favor. He could already draw upon the energy of the Paths without any friction.
Was it because his original universe existed on a higher dimensional plane? Or perhaps this entire reality, once just a fictional game to him, had ascended into true existence the moment he crossed over, causing a glitch in the cosmic rules?
A slow, highly amused smirk tugged at the corners of Leon's mouth.
[Leon: Do you think there's a possibility that your permissions just aren't high enough, Aha?]
[Aha: Huh? Aha's permissions aren't high enough?!]
[Leon: Have you considered just handing over all the administrative permissions for the Path of Elation directly to me? That would solve the problem instantly.]
[Leon: You only thought about squeezing out a tiny drop of energy to make me an Emanator. Why are you being so selfish?!]
After firing off that shameless accusation, Leon swiped through his gallery and uploaded a custom image.
[Leon: Aha Aha Running.jpg]
It was a classic internet meme from his past life, hastily edited. A crude cartoon figure wearing Aha's signature theatrical mask, sprinting joyfully into the distance while clutching a little spinning pinwheel in both hands.
Somewhere in the vast cosmos, the Aeon of Elation was thoroughly entertained.
[Aha: Hahahahaha! This really is too much fun!]
[Aha: Aha was wrong. Aha should have just dumped all the energy of the Path onto your head and let you become the brand new Aeon of Elation!]
[Aha: Waking up in the morning only to find that Aha has dropped to an Emanator~]
[Aha: Aha Aha Running.jpg]
The Aeon didn't just send the image back. Aha enthusiastically manifested a physical form, grabbed a giant pinwheel, perfectly replicated the goofy sprinting posture of the cartoon meme, and loudly demanded that Fuli take a commemorative photo of the historic moment.
In the vast universe of Star Rail, countless scholars and factions might have secretly harbored the desire to turn the mighty Aeons into internet jokes, but absolutely no one possessed the sheer audacity to put it into practice.
This was the very first time Aha had ever seen a meme of themselves. The novelty was intoxicating.
[Fuli: Light Cone — "Aha Aha Running".jpg]
The Aeon of Remembrance flawlessly captured the ridiculous scene, crystallized the memory into a functional Light Cone, and dropped the cover image directly into the group chat.
Leon stared at the chat, a genuine laugh escaping his throat.
[Leon: Aha, you really know how to have a good time.]
Watching the supreme beings of the universe act like absolute clowns brought him an immense sense of satisfaction. Then, he noticed the sender of the Light Cone.
[Leon: Fuli, you're here too? You didn't shatter into a million pieces?]
He clearly recalled the bizarre scene from earlier, where Fuli's crystalline projection had fragmented right beside him. Aha had been screaming about getting revenge, yet here Fuli was, casually dropping memes in the group chat as if nothing had ever happened.
[Fuli: I am always present. Wherever there are precious memories, I will be there.]
Leon blinked at the screen.
[Leon: Eh? Don't you usually speak in a massive, hurried rush without any punctuation? You're totally Out Of Character right now!]
[Fuli:...Aeons can draw upon the infinite energy of their Paths at will, but they are also firmly bound within those very same Paths.]
[Fuli: After coming into direct contact with you, I found that I can slightly break free from the absolute shackles of my Path.]
Leon nodded slowly, digesting the weight of those words. It seemed his existence was even more of a cheat code than he originally assumed.
But that still left a lingering question. What exactly had transpired during that chaotic sequence earlier?
[Leon: @Nous]
Before the giant floating mechanical head could respond, the resident clown jumped in.
[Aha: Aha knows all about this!]
[Aha: The absolute second you dropped into this universe, you were discovered by the machine head. Then the machine head immediately built a massive firewall around you to prevent any of the other Aeons from noticing your existence.]
[Aha: Unfortunately for him, he was way too slow. Fuli noticed the anomaly and snapped a picture of the scene.]
[Aha: Then Fuli quietly added another layer of conceptual protection over you.]
[Aha: But Aha is obviously still the absolute best. This little cover-up operation was quickly discovered by the all-powerful Aha.]
[Aha: So Aha stepped in and added yet another layer of protection for you!]
[Aha: However, when those two Stelles crossed paths with Nanook just a moment ago, Nanook still managed to notice the anomaly, so he forced his way into the group chat too.]
Aha's messages flooded the screen, practically vibrating with chaotic laughter.
[Fuli: Light Cone — "Nanook, I've Come to Bring You Destruction!".jpg]
[Aha: This is truly way too much fun!]
Leon rubbed his chin, the rough texture of his skin grounding his racing thoughts. He finally understood the hidden subtext behind Aha's rapid-fire explanation.
Simply put, he was a cosmic singularity. To this universe, his existence was entirely unmatched.
If he wasn't special, Nous the Erudition would never have wasted processing power trying to hide him from the rest of the pantheon.
Fuli following suit and joining the 'hide the anomaly' club was a bit baffling, but perhaps the Aeon of Remembrance saw him as the ultimate, unrecorded variable.
As for Aha stepping in? That was purely, one hundred percent, for the sake of squeezing out the maximum amount of entertainment.
Could Fuli secretly be a closet fun-seeker too?
Leon shook his head. No, rather than a fun-seeker, it was more accurate to label the crystalline entity a closet eccentric.
After all, Fuli and Aha were practically a match made in heaven. One creates the absolute most chaotic fun possible, and the other carefully records it for all eternity. What duo could possibly beat that cooperation?
[Leon: Nanook isn't angry about that Light Cone?]
[Aha: Of course he's not angry! What's the difference between screaming 'I'm going to bring you destruction'right at the Aeon of Destruction, and saying'I'm going to bring you joy' to me?]
[Aha: What a good kid. He's probably giggling to himself right now.]
[Aha: Ahahahaha!]
[Aha: Are there any more of those memes? Send some more. Aha demands more!]
[Leon: That's easy.]
Leon's fingers danced across the screen, rapidly editing a new batch of images.
[Leon: Group Elation Aha, checking the group from time to time to see if there's any fun.jpg]
[Leon: Group Nous, checking the group from time to time to see if there's any universal truth.jpg]
[Leon: Group Fuli, checking the group from time to time to see if there are any precious memories.jpg]
[Leon: Group Nanook, checking the group from time to time to see if there are any creatures that only deserve to be destroyed.jpg]
He glanced at the four silent or laughing Aeons lurking in the chat, then hit send.
The set of memes all featured a pixelated panda-man wearing the corresponding Aeon's mask or face, standing with his hands clasped behind his back, looking exactly like an old retired leader casually patrolling a neighborhood park.
The Elation panda wore the theatrical mask. The Erudition panda had a giant mechanical eye for a head. Fuli and Nanook received similar, highly disrespectful treatments.
[Aha: Hahaha! This really is too much fun!]
[Leon: This really is too much fun.jpg]
Leon casually tossed in one final masterpiece: a panda-man wearing Aha's mask, clapping its hands together with exaggerated, manic enthusiasm.
[Aha: This really is too much fun.jpg]
[Aha: Oh, right. Just a heads-up. Since a moment ago, someone has been aggressively trying to hack into your phone.]
[Aha: But how could a divine device crafted by Aha be breached so easily?]
[Aha: Aha has completely blocked the other party's data stream. Do you need me to hack them back and blow up their servers?]
Someone was trying to hack his phone?
Leon blinked, genuinely taken aback. He leaned back against his chair.
He hadn't interacted with many people since arriving in the universe of Honkai: Star Rail. Were the hackers in this galaxy really that bored? Targeting a completely random, anonymous device for absolutely no reason?
Hmm?
Wait a second.
A specific, bubblegum-chewing gamer girl suddenly flashed through his mind.
Could it be Silver Wolf?
Tapping into the cosmic energy flowing through his veins, Leon extended his perception outward, tracing the invisible digital 'network cable' attempting to breach his firewall.
His vision shifted, bypassing lightyears of empty space in a fraction of a second.
Soon, a clear image formed in his mind. He saw Silver Wolf sitting cross-legged in front of a massive array of glowing holographic screens. She was aggressively scratching her messy gray hair, her face scrunched up in absolute frustration.
"Wolfie, haven't you been able to contact them yet?"
Kafka's smooth, velvety voice drifted in from the side of the room. The elegant woman leaned against a console, watching the hacker struggle.
"Don't rush me, don't rush me!" Silver Wolf snapped back, her fingers flying across her holographic keyboard in a blur of motion.
"I'll definitely be able to connect! I just need a minute!"
She gritted her teeth, staring intensely at the endless streams of denied access codes cascading down her monitor.
"The firewall on this guy's phone is seriously tough. It's built like a fortress. It'll just take a little more time."
Fine beads of sweat broke out across Silver Wolf's forehead, catching the neon glow of the monitors. Despite the mounting frustration, her eyes burned with a fierce, unyielding flame of competitive spirit.
'I, the Invisible Emperor of Penacony, can't even hack into a single phone?!' she screamed in her mind, her fingers striking the keys with enough force to crack glass.
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