How was this guy such an idiot?
I sat, frozen on the computer, watching as hundreds of files generated themselves on the white screen. White Thunder had recorded every single part of his trafficking operation, keeping it on his personal computer without even a password. The gall of this man, really.
Shutting down the computer, I looked across the table. Two girls and a boy sat there, shivering. I had found them in White Thunder's basement.
"A, are you a superhero?" the boy asked.
"Nope," I replied cheerfully.
They watched as I furiously typed on my computer. Lucky for me, White Thunder had provided all the evidence I needed.
"And—send," I said out loud. I had copied and sent the files to every major news network across the whole globe. Pretty soon, every single regular and super, governments and the UHA would realize the major trafficking ring under their nose.
"Come on, let's go!" I said to the kids.
Good kids, really. They dutifully followed me through White Thunder's mansion. They weren't terrified or anything.
Now, where was I to put them? Just an orphanage, I guess. That would be for the best. For these regulars, being away from the chaos of the city.
We walked through the mansion, and the kids followed like ducklings behind me. We passed statues of White Thunder, gold-covered tapestries and chandeliers, grotesque paintings, all filling the marbled, empty home.
Out of the front door, through the winding garden, and out the main gate we walked. The kids looked at the unconscious guards, cowering.
"They're just sleeping," I said. One of the guards fell from his slumped position, falling face first into the dirt. Oops.
I quickly ushered the children away… Leaving the compound mansion, I led the children through the winding streets, lit aglow by flickering lamplights. Whistling, I began looking for the building that I had scoped out earlier.
Ah, yes, there it was.
In a small, unassuming street, a small, stout building was painted in shades of red. The orphanage.
I ushered the kids over, across the street. We stopped at the front.
"Now kids," I said. "I want you to knock on that door and tell them that you need help. Okay?"
The children looked at each other. I assumed that to be an okay, and so began to leave.
"T-thank you!" One of the girls said.
"Oh no, oh no," I said, waving my finger. I knelt, facing the three of them.
"I want you to know, I'm the scariest villain alive, you hear me? I've killed more people than you will ever make. Does that make sense? I don't know. Anyway—stay away from supers and villains, okay? Otherwise, you'll die. Alright, bye now. Go, shoo." I motioned the kids away, and they began trudging up the steps.
They still seemed afraid, unwilling to go, so I waved at them. They waved back. Finally, I sped off, not looking back.
I felt like I was forgetting something. Something important. What was it?
Oh—fudge. I had forgotten about White Thunder's daughter. How could I have done that?
I began to run again, toward the train tracks. I'd have to come back again. I hate my life.
***
King Rank super, White Thunder, was found crushed by a train earlier today. A new villain, named The Hanged Man, killed the man, as can be seen in these videos.
But it seems White Thunder was hiding a secret. An unknown source revealed that he was running an underground trafficking ring behind the scenes.
Bob, what do you think?
Well Jennifer—
I laughed. Finally! Someone knew my name. These people were finally seeing the real faces of supers. Incredible! Magnifico!
But soon again, as I listened to the droning news, I realized—I was bored. Really, really bored. Not that kind of bored when you have stuff to do, but don't do it, but the boredom that burrows into the brain.
I needed another show.
Was it an addiction? Maybe.
But it's not an addiction if I know it's an addiction, right?
I turned toward my bulletin board. Too many small fry, too many low-name figures. I needed something bigger, better. Hmmmm….
A crossover! Of course. How could I not think of that? A similarity, a similarity, oh what could it be.
Money, money, money. Of course. How couldn't I think of that? As I looked at my list, many supers were corrupted by wealth. I could use that.
I just needed a platform for it.
And I had just the thing.
***
"Welcome everyone!"
Now, you might be wondering how we got in this situation. Why was I wearing a magnificent suit? Why was I holding a fake microphone and speaking to a nonexistent audience? Why was I in a studio made to look like a game show? Because I was hosting a game show, obviously. Wasn't it obvious?
"Contestants!" I looked over to the three podiums. "Are you ready?"
"You first!" I pointed to the man on the right, wearing a tight green supersuit that was waved with shiny pearls. "Introduce yourself." I waved my hand over to the blank wall.
"You motherfucker. Once the UHA finds out about this, you will regret you ever did this. You psycho."
"Oh, he has some temper." Well, I guess I would introduce him myself. A shame. "Now, here, ladies and gentlemen, we have the esteemed, the ravenous, the all-mighty—fish man! Oh no, is that not it? Let's look at my notes. No, no, that's what it says right here. Fish man. Are you sure?"
The green man attempted to push out of his bindings. But he couldn't.
"Fine, fine," I said. "Mr—" I checked my notes. "Are you sure it's not fish man?" I asked. Watching the man struggle, I finally relented. "Fine. You're no fun. Alright, everyone give it up for: Lord Aqua!" I began clapping. Each slap of my palm echoed around the small studio, under the horrified gaze of the other two supers.
"Lord Aqua! You guard the northern territory, near Wales. A power to control fish, huh. Pretty, pretty interesting. But—does the public know about your smuggling? Sacrificing innocent fish, using them as mere transport vessels—do you have no heart?"
As I spoke of his deeds, Lord Aqua's face drained of blood. His fingers trembled, as his mouth opened like a fish, unable to speak.
"I am never going to relent," he said. "You think you hold power over me? I will never give up. Never!"
"Never gonna give you up?"
"What?"
"What? :)"
Lord Aqua struggled against his bonds again. "I said, I'm never going to give up. Never!"
"Never going to let you down?"
I mean, he was just asking for it at this point. As he started to scream expletives, I took a piece of duct tape and shut it over his mouth. That shut him up. This was a family-friendly show, after all.
"Now for our next contestant," I said, turning to the middle man. He wore a blood red costume, with gilded gold in vague, unrecognizable symbols around him. "Mr. Everblood! What is this? A fantasy novel? Anyway, you can control blood. Amazing, isn't it? Congrats, congrats. But I wonder why you can't do it now?"
The two supers looked at the middle man, who wore a face of resignation.
Gritting his teeth, he spoke. At least he was following directions. "I-I can only control it if it's type B."
Both supers looked at themselves, as if wondering if they were type B. They weren't if you wanted to know. They were A and AB respectively. I was type O. O for outstanding. Anyway. I continued.
"But do you know what you do, with that power, Mr. Everblood? Saving the city sure, but I wonder what you do in your free time. Do you perhaps—collect blood and sell it?"
"N-no, I don't," Everblood said.
"What if I reminded you about little Ms. Eva. Wasn't she so sweet? So young? Do you remember how much blo—"
"Alright, alright!" Everblood screamed, turned away. His gaze never lifted. "Stop, please. Please."
Finally, our third contestant. A blond-haired woman, wearing not a super suit, but a regular suit, tie and all. She was the most composed out of the three, standing straight as can be.
"Why am I here?" she said. "It seems these two have situations, and that is your motive. But I haven't done anything."
"Are you sure about that?"
The woman seemed confident, nodding. "I have never done harm in my life."
"Well, let's see about that." I looked at my notes. "Ms. Lily—no super name. A UHA employee. Can control various computers within her mind. A technological power! Interesting, very interesting. Now, let's see here—it says you control accounting for various supers."
"Yes," she replied.
"Good. Now, is it true that you handle all finances for these supers?"
"Yes."
"Do you know where the money comes from?"
At these words, she paused, her lips pursing. After a moment, she shook her head.
"No."
"Aha!" I jumped and pointed at her. "See here, the accused doesn't know where the funds come from, and yet she accounts for them and pays their taxes. You say you have no harm. But do you understand that those supers hurt thousands from earning funds? Is it truly reasonable—" I turned around to the blank wall. "That Ms. Lily here didn't realize? Or is the fact that she simply didn't care? Whatever the case, jury, it seems Ms. Lily is guilty, in all accounts, of letting these illegal activities commence. Do you claim this not to be true?"
Lily did not respond, again turning her gaze away. The tips of her eyes had become red.
"I just, just needed the money," she said, as tears threatened to pour out. Her voice shook, cracking. "I, I just needed some of it."
"And there we have it folks," I said. "Three supers, all of whom are guilty beyond measure. But as you can tell—I am not the law. I am a villain. A goody-two-shoes villain, who is here to give you guys an opportunity! Once in a lifetime this is. You might be wondering why you're here. This is a game show! You can earn as much money as you want—but you have to sacrifice some things. Are you willing to play?"
"Stop this," Lord Aqua said. "I don't—"
"Please, I have a family," Everblood implored.
Lily was still crying.
"Well you don't have a choice," I said. I turned. On the last wall, opposite to the tied-up contestants, were two large screens. I picked up the remote from my stand, and then activated the first. It lit up, blue and all, revealing a singular giant screen with a question mark.
"The rules are simple," I said. "You make choices, you earn money. There are no ties, no leverage. You will come under no harm, none at all. Once this game is over, you can leave with all the money. Of course, I can't explain to you where it came from—but you will have it. Wonderful, isn't it?"
Hearing the rules, the contestants were skeptical, still attempting to break out of their bonds.
"Now, you might be thinking—that sounds too good to be true. It is. The choices will be hard, dangerous, even. That is the price. Now, who wants to go first? You see that button? You can click it if you want to answer."
The three looked to the small button in front of them.
'You have to answer once you have clicked. And see that phone right next to it? It's connected to your bank accounts. Each time you make a choice, you will be awarded! Amazing, is it not?"
The three did not reply, staring blankly down at the shining screens.
"Then—It's time to start!" I said aloud, waving my hands. "The Greatest Game Show That's Totally Not Rigged!"