Chapter 41: That Woman Yukari? Scum Youkai!
"Wait! How is that fair?!"
Kaguya slammed her hand on the table, her eyes wide with indignation. But after a moment's thought, she had to admit that Haruto's contribution did seem to outweigh her own. Still, she remained stubborn, even as her confidence wavered.
"Anyway, I'm not convinced! If you'd told me there were rewards earlier, I would have… You second-rate bum, what are you laughing at!"
"Nothing," Haruto said, struggling to suppress the grin tugging at his lips. "I just feel a bit guilty holding onto this SS-rank reward. How about this: I'll trade one of my rewards for that magic book of yours. What do you think?"
Kaguya's eyes lit up, and she immediately pushed the heavy tome forward. Then, a thought struck her, and she eyed him with renewed suspicion. "Would you really be so kind? This isn't some kind of trap, is it?"
"What are you talking about! Am I that kind of person?" Haruto wore an expression of deep injustice. "Didn't I give you that Shark Dagger directly last time, too?"
Hearing him mention that, Kaguya's suspicion eased, though a sliver of skepticism remained.
"Then you're not allowed to go back on your word."
Haruto nodded, took the magic book, and unceremoniously tossed it into a waiting Gap.
"So, where's my SS-rank reward?" Kaguya asked, rubbing her hands together in anticipation.
"Don't be in such a hurry. I'm an honest youkai, not like a certain Sage I know. I wouldn't lie to you."
"I bet you wouldn't dare."
Kaguya's furrowed brow finally relaxed. But in the next moment, her expression froze. Her gaze fell upon the simple fishing rod Haruto had just pushed across the table toward her, and she was left utterly dazed. She looked from Haruto to the fishing rod, then back again.
"Don't tell me this is the SS-rank reward."
"It is," Haruto confirmed. "You said you'd trade for it yourself, so no backing out now."
Seeing Kaguya's expression, which screamed that he must have skimmed the real reward off the top, Haruto took a wary step back. He felt just as helpless.
Honestly, if he hadn't seen it with his own eyes, he wouldn't have believed that a so-called SS-rank reward could be a fishing rod, either.
"How about this," he sighed, "I'll give you an extra mermaid pill."
The last shred of his integrity finally pricked his conscience. He reached into a Gap and pulled out one of the shimmering pearls.
"What do I want with your crappy pill!" Kaguya snapped. "Tell me the truth, are you messing with me? Is this fishing rod really an SS-rank reward?"
"Why would I lie to you?"
"Then what special ability does it have?"
"Does 'never wears out' count?"
As he spoke, Haruto casually tossed the mermaid pill back into the Gap.
Kaguya stared at him for a long moment, trying to find any hint of a lie. Seeing none, she reluctantly took the fishing rod. The magic book had been useless to her anyway, so she supposed she had still profited from the exchange.
"What are your other three rewards?" she asked, suddenly remembering Haruto had mentioned five in total.
At her question, the frustration Haruto had just managed to suppress surged back with a vengeance.
"Are they bad?" Kaguya noticed his expression sour.
Haruto's face was a complicated mask of disappointment and confusion. "Actually, they're okay. It's just… I don't really understand them."
"You don't understand them?"
Kaguya's curiosity was piqued. Yotsuya Miko, who had been listening quietly, also pricked up her ears. A grand SS-rank reward couldn't be that bad, could it?
"Physical Strength +10%, Phantom Call of the Mermaid Prince, and Fish Communication Master."
Kaguya and Miko both wore the same strange expression. They could understand the first two, more or less, but what on earth was the last one?
Fish Communication Master?
The only function they could imagine was pairing it with that indestructible fishing rod to personally persuade fish to bite the hook.
"It's fine," Kaguya said, patting his shoulder with mock sympathy. "At least from now on, you'll be a fishing expert. A legendary King of Fish."
Her words only made Haruto's gaze grow more resentful. He decided then and there that as soon as he got back, he would test that second reward. If he could infinitely summon mermaids, he would lead a grand mermaid army to storm Eientei and capture this insufferable Lunar Princess to serve as his personal maid.
As for that final 'Fish Communication Master' skill, Haruto didn't have high hopes. It couldn't possibly have a hypnotic effect on fish youkai, could it? Allowing him to, say, hypnotize a certain little mermaid gatekeeper for fun? Probably not.
"So how do we get back to Gensokyo now?" Kaguya asked gloomily. "I miss my Happy Water and my big, soft bed."
"Just silently think of a word like 'leave' in your mind, and you'll return to your original world."
After explaining, Haruto did just that, silently thinking, 'Return to Gensokyo.' His figure instantly vanished from their sight, reappearing a moment later in the familiar surroundings of Kaguya's room in Eientei.
"I, Houraisan Kaguya, am finally back!"
Kaguya appeared a second after him. She took one look around, let out a whoop of joy, and took a flying leap onto her enormous, plush bed. Kicking off her shoes, she began rolling around, hugging her pillow with blissful abandon.
"Can't you at least take a shower before getting into bed?"
Having lived with Yakumo Ran for so many years, Haruto had developed a slight obsession with cleanliness. Except for the bed he slept in, every other part of his living space had to be as neat as new.
"I've worked so hard for so long, what's wrong with lying down for a bit?" Kaguya shot back, hugging her pillow tighter and glaring at him with dissatisfaction. "If it gets dirty, Reisen will wash it."
Haruto rolled his eyes, too lazy to argue further. He planned to hand the mermaid pills over to Yagokoro Eirin, then head home for a long-overdue shower and a nap with Youmu.
However, just as he pulled the door open, he crashed headfirst into a soft embrace with a dull thud. Haruto rubbed his forehead, about to complain.
"Reisen, you…"
He stopped mid-sentence.
Seeing the cold, elegant figure standing before him, Haruto managed to squeeze out a strained smile.
"Sister Eirin, good evening."
"Evening?"
"Ahem, a slip of the tongue. I meant good morning," Haruto corrected himself, noticing the bright light streaming through the window. "Let's not get bogged down in unimportant details. I was actually just about to look for you, Sister Eirin."
"How coincidental," Yagokoro Eirin said, her eyes narrowing dangerously. "I happen to be looking for you as well."
"Look… looking for me?" Haruto was slightly stunned, then a memory clicked into place and he thought he understood. "It's about that vengeful spirit fruit I gave you last time, isn't it, Sister Eirin? Have you made any research breakthroughs? No need to thank me."
He waved his hand with magnanimous flair.
This audacious posture successfully left both Yagokoro Eirin and Kaguya, still on the bed, completely stunned. They stared at him with increasingly subtle and complex expressions.
Haruto felt a prickle of unease under their combined gazes. "If you really want to thank me," he said weakly, "you could just tell me the specific effects of the vengeful spirit fruit and then give me, say, three or four bottles of the potion you developed from it."
On the bed, Kaguya silently gave him a thumbs-up. Yagokoro Eirin's face, however, turned even darker.
"...Did I ask for too little? Actually, ten or eight bottles would be—wait, wait! Stop! Stop!!"
Seeing Eirin suddenly produce her bow and nock an arrow, Haruto immediately called for a halt. He scrambled back into the room and forcibly dragged Kaguya off the bed, using the princess as a shield.
"Let's talk this out! Put down the weapon immediately! Don't go down the path of crime! I'm just a two-year-old Boundary Youkai! Do you know how strict Gensokyo's protection for underage youkai is? You're still young! You have a long life ahead of you! There's no need to go astray for something like this. You know, I've always respected you, Sister Eirin."
Seeing Eirin's expression soften ever so slightly, Haruto breathed a sigh of relief and asked tentatively, "Is it that old hag Yukari making you angry again?"
Whoosh—
The words had barely left his mouth when a Gap split open directly above his head. A familiar folding fan shot out, striking down with vicious intent. Prepared for just such an occasion, Haruto dodged neatly to the side.
"Yukari-nee, save me!" he called out to the Gap, his eyes welling with crocodile tears.
He received no response. The Gap was already slowly closing, abandoning him to his fate. His feigned tears turned to genuine anger as he shouted at the disappearing rift.
"You said such nice things back then! You said that from now on, I'd be your man, Yakumo Yukari's man, and that you'd keep me safe in Gensokyo! You scum youkai! You're a scum youkai!!"
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