Chapter 52: Pom-Pom, You Don't Want Dan Heng to Have Bad Luck, Do You?
"Dan Heng?" March 7th leaned closer, her pink hair brushing his shoulder as she peered at his holographic interface. "What did you get? Why aren't you saying anything?"
Dan Heng didn't utter a single word. His jaw set into a rigid line. With a swift, resigned flick of his finger, he captured a screenshot of his gacha results and forwarded it directly to the multiversal chat group.
[Astral Express · Dan Heng]: Portable Water Purifier (Green), High-Strength Climbing Rope (Green), and a pile of miscellaneous white-tier items: 'Introduction to Mechanical Engineering (Volume 1)', 'Essentials of Basic Combat Techniques', several sets of ordinary clothing, a single pack of instant noodles, etc.
[Astral Express · Dan Heng]:...Harvest as shown. Acceptable.
The bustling chat group instantly flatlined. A heavy, awkward silence stretched across dimensions.
[Genshin Impact · Lumine]:...Pragmatism.
[Zenless Zone Zero · Wise]:...A very practical choice.
[Genshin Impact · Zhongli]: Water purification devices and sturdy ropes are indeed very useful assets for wilderness survival. However... hmm. Generally speaking, there is a slight discrepancy between this outcome and what one might expect from a grand prize.
[Astral Express · Stelle]: Pfft—! Hahahaha! Dan Heng! Your luck... hahaha! A water purifier? A climbing rope? Hahaha! That's what you get for not believing in Pom-Pom's power!
[Astral Express · March 7th]: Ah! Dan Heng! How did you even manage to pull these? We drew at the exact same time! I know!
March 7th's eyes widened in sudden realization. She pointed an accusing finger at Dan Heng, then whipped her head toward Stelle. "Stelle is right! It must be because you didn't pet Pom-Pom!"
Stelle immediately perked up. She planted her hands firmly on her hips and strutted right into Dan Heng's line of sight, her smug expression practically screaming, See? I told you so.
"How about it, Teacher Dan Heng? Do you believe in the metaphysics now?" Stelle teased, leaning in close. "Conductor Pom-Pom is the undisputed mascot of our Astral Express! A literal lucky star! How can you expect to pull anything good without receiving the Conductor's blessing?"
She shook her head with exaggerated pity. "You still have one more ten-pull chance left, you know? Do you want to... hmm?"
She threw a dramatic, exaggerated wink toward the Parlor Car, where their fluffy Conductor usually hung out.
March 7th nodded so vigorously her camera bounced against her chest. She clasped her hands together, her eyes shining with expectant stars. "Yes, yes! Dan Heng! Go pet Pom-Pom quickly! Maybe next time you'll get something super awesome! Look at me and Stelle—after giving the Conductor a good rub, we both scored blue-tier items! Believe in Pom-Pom, gain eternal life... wait, no, gain good luck!"
Dan Heng stared blankly at the two girls. They were completely in sync, practically vibrating with that chaotic, gremlin-like energy that always preceded someone doing something highly unconventional and deeply embarrassing.
He lowered his gaze back to the holographic inventory screen. The pile of "practical" but utterly underwhelming items mocked him. A fierce, silent war raged behind his calm teal eyes—a brutal clash between cold, hard rationality and the absurd allure of gacha "metaphysics."
The carriage fell quiet. Stelle and March 7th simply stared at him, their combined expectant gazes projecting an immense, crushing weight of peer pressure.
Finally, Dan Heng let out a breath so faint it barely disturbed the air. His shoulders slumped a fraction of an inch, signaling the death of his dignity.
He gave a stiff nod. His voice remained perfectly level, yet carried a subtle, resigned helplessness. "...I understand. I will give it... a try."
"Yay!" Stelle and March 7th cheered in unison, slapping their hands together in a crisp high-five.
Instantly, the two girls transformed into stealthy little shadows, creeping along right behind Dan Heng's heels as he marched toward the Parlor Car.
Inside, the poor Conductor Pom-Pom was diligently scrubbing the surface of the bar counter. The small, floppy-eared creature hummed a cheerful tune, entirely focused on polishing the wood to a mirror shine.
Hearing footsteps, Pom-Pom's long ears twitched and swiveled. The Conductor turned around, only to see Dan Heng approaching with the grim, solemn expression of a man marching to the executioner's block. Right behind him lurked two extremely suspicious individuals, peeking around his waist with identical grins of anticipation.
Pom-Pom's fur puffed up slightly on instinct.
"Passenger Dan Heng? Is there something you need from Pom-Pom?" the Conductor asked, setting the rag down and tilting their head.
Dan Heng stopped dead in his tracks. For a man who possessed an encyclopedic knowledge of the universe, he suddenly found himself entirely at a loss for words.
He closed his eyes, organizing his thoughts. If he was going to do this, he had to frame it in the most concise, logical, and dignified manner possible.
"Conductor," Dan Heng began, his tone strictly professional. "According to the empirical data gathered by Stelle and March 7th, alongside my own preliminary observation samples, there appears to exist an unconfirmed correlation."
He adjusted his posture, treating the conversation like a thesis defense. "Physical contact with your body surface seems to be positively correlated with a significant increase in the probability of 'acquiring high-value items from probabilistic reward systems'."
"Therefore, I wish to conduct a... confirmatory contact procedure. This is strictly to ascertain whether this metaphysical correlation is universal and repeatable."
Pom-Pom stared at him. "...???"
The Conductor's massive, button-like eyes widened to the size of saucers, swirling with absolute, unadulterated confusion.
Behind Dan Heng's back, Stelle and March 7th were violently shaking, desperately clamping their hands over their mouths to muffle their snorts.
Stelle leaned into March's ear, whispering frantically, "Oh my god, is Dan Heng even speaking human right now? Pom-Pom would have to be a genius to decode that!"
March 7th giggled, her shoulders quaking. "Teacher Dan Heng is treating a request for headpats like an academic research grant!"
Right on cue, Pom-Pom scratched their fluffy cheek. "Passenger Dan Heng... what are you saying, Pom-Pom? What 'data', 'correlation', 'probability', Pom-Pom? Pom-Pom doesn't understand a single word, Pom-Pom!"
Dan Heng: "..."
A muscle feathered in his jaw. He took a slow, deep breath, mentally tossing his academic pride out the Express window. He had to use the most straightforward, humiliating wording possible.
"Simply put," Dan Heng said, his voice dropping an octave. "Stelle and March 7th believe that if I pet you, my luck in drawing items will improve. I... want to try."
"Ah?!"
Pom-Pom's small, furry face instantly ignited, turning the shade of a fully ripe tomato. Their long ears shot straight up into the air, and their tail puffed out like a startled cat's.
"T-Touch... touch Pom-Pom?!" The Conductor stumbled backward, clutching their chest. "This... this is outrageous, Pom-Pom! Pom-Pom is the dignified Conductor of the Astral Express, Pom-Pom! Not a lucky charm!"
Pom-Pom eyed Dan Heng warily, then shot a betrayed glare at the two giggling culprits hiding behind him.
Seeing their plan falling apart, Stelle immediately leaped out from behind Dan Heng to run damage control.
"Oh, Pom-Pom! Don't be so shy!" Stelle cooed, waving her hands dismissively. "Look at the facts! March 7th and I both scored amazing loot after giving you a little pat!"
She pointed dramatically at Dan Heng. "Dan Heng didn't touch you his first time around, and all he got was a water purifier and a stupid piece of rope! How pathetic is that? Just consider it... consider it giving a loyal passenger a little luck boost!"
Stelle stepped closer, her tone shifting into a masterclass of emotional manipulation. "Isn't it a crucial duty of the Conductor to care for the physical and mental well-being of the passengers? That includes their gacha mood! You don't want Dan Heng's hard-earned two thousand-plus group points to just go to waste, do you?"
March 7th immediately flanked the Conductor from the other side, clasping her hands together in a desperate, pleading gesture. "Yes, Pom-Pom! Please help Dan Heng! Look at his face—look how serious he is! Just once! Just one tiny, light touch! We promise we won't tell anyone else!"
Pom-Pom nervously shifted their gaze back to Dan Heng.
The archivist's face was still largely expressionless, yet his teal eyes somehow managed to convey a deeply complex mixture of academic sincerity and the desperate, unhinged desire of a man going all out for good luck.
Pom-Pom looked at the tall, stoic man, then back at the two hyperactive livewires bouncing on their heels. A fierce internal struggle waged within the small Conductor's heart.
As the Conductor of the Astral Express, it was their sworn duty to ensure every passenger remained happy, comfortable, and lucky on their journey.
But being pet like a common mascot... it was just so embarrassing, Pom-Pom!
Ultimately, the Conductor's boundless care for their passengers triumphed over their personal pride.
Pom-Pom sucked in a massive breath. They squeezed their eyes shut, bowed their head forward, and let their fluffy ears droop down in a posture of total surrender. When they spoke, their voice trembled with the tragic, heroic grandeur of a martyr stepping up to the guillotine.
"Al-alright! If it is for Passenger Dan Heng to get good things... Pa-Pom-Pom... Pom-Pom will go all out, Pom-Pom! Come on, Pom-Pom! Just... please, please be gentle, Pom-Pom!"
Stelle gasped, her jaw dropping so wide a whole mochi roll could have easily fit inside.
Beside her, March 7th fully activated her professional instincts as the Galaxy's Best Partner and the Astral Express Life Recorder. With lightning speed, she whipped out her pink instant camera, popping the lens cap off and adjusting the angle for the perfect shot.
Dan Heng stood frozen. He stared down at the tiny, trembling Conductor who looked entirely prepared to face divine judgment, his heart swirling with an indescribable, chaotic mix of emotions.
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