"Are you afraid of dying? Of course not. Death is only frightening to those who have no next life."
The Demon God responded as if saying what nonsense I was talking about. Meanwhile, it sniffed around the empty box regretfully, as if disappointed.
I don't understand what more it wants after eating all the cheese stuck to the paper.
Was it Urr who said it? That no matter how much they eat, they never feel full. Ouroboros seemed to have the same issue with satiety, making its self-control regarding food appear slightly lacking.
I could order more, but if it gets too used to this, it might keep asking for food, so I decided to stay quiet.
Even though I had plenty of money, spending it like this would be like throwing it into a black hole.
"Dying could be painful, you know."
"There's no such thing as a painless death."
"...Haven't you ever thought about not wanting pain?"
"It can't be helped. Not wanting to end is everyone's wish."
The Demon God only stated obvious things. In the end, everything concluded with "it can't be helped."
A peculiar being that chooses suicide to live eternally. A special Demon God I'd never seen anywhere before.
"How long have you been alive?"
"I don't know."
The answer came so quickly it seemed insincere. But it was nothing special. We humans might create calendars and determine years, but Demon Gods would have no reason to establish time standards, so not knowing was natural.
Accepting that, I quietly asked what I really wanted to know.
"Who's the main persona? Ouroboros? Urr?"
The Demon God answered blankly.
"Me."
"...But when we met, it wasn't you."
The Demon God hummed thoughtfully, then nodded as if remembering something.
"That's right."
"What happened?"
"I was just bored. That's all."
What a ridiculous answer. I frowned, wondering what it meant by changing personas out of boredom.
"...What? Wait, you changed your persona because you were bored?"
"No, I didn't know there was a new persona. But it wasn't bad. It felt like taking a long sleep."
The Demon God seemed to think the time when Urr possessed the body wasn't so bad, maintaining a calm expression.
It didn't appear angry at all. If it had been enraged about me killing it and wanted revenge, I might have died without exception, but there was none of that.
Seeing how it described everything as good made me think it really must have been bored, causing my expression to harden.
"Couldn't you just sleep if you wanted to?"
"It's a different feeling."
The Demon God shook its head. But even with that explanation, I couldn't understand what kind of feeling it meant, so all I could do was nod.
I couldn't understand any of it. I just thought I could.
"Then why did you commit suicide like that?"
The Demon God blinked quietly, then pointed at the pizza tray in front.
"Fine, I'll order more."
I originally wasn't going to order more, but since I really wanted to hear the story, I had no choice but to give in. I picked up my phone and quickly placed an order, showing confirmation.
"I ordered."
"Good."
With that, the Demon God continued its story.
**
Ouroboros.
It didn't know how many years it had lived. No one knew how many hundreds of years it had existed. It had simply existed in that place, passing days and nights.
It wandered around, leading its body here and there.
There was no need to eat or sleep. Though aware these were for survival, perhaps because of this, each day felt unbearably monotonous.
With no need to eat, it felt no necessity to hunt. When rabbits hopped by or wild boars passed through, it mostly just acknowledged them and moved on. Though its Aura made it difficult to catch them anyway, as they would flee at its approach.
The principles of the world seemed within its grasp. It could use magic as it pleased.
One day, out of extreme boredom, it ventured beyond the mountain. Though physically similar, it could instinctively sense they were different from itself.
It didn't approach any closer. Having already seen animals flee at a certain distance, it felt, why bother?
Unlike other Demon Gods, it had no reason to steal human lifespans, so it felt no need for that.
It was meaningless. Having not been born by choice, simply passing days was unbearably boring. Occasionally, when its body grew too old, it chose death.
It knew that even if it killed itself, it wouldn't truly die.
That dying meant becoming younger, and this was how it could live eternally.
But time and again, over and over, no matter how much it lived, only the sense of meaninglessness remained. After countless nights of extreme boredom, it finally made its choice.
What would happen if it died? What would happen if it kept getting younger? No, if it became too young, would its thoughts regress too, preventing it from thinking about death?
That seemed absurd. It would be laughable. Just as each being has survival instincts, if suicide was prevented in such a way, it would grow sick of itself.
So what, should it live forever by killing itself like this? The thought made it shake its head.
Even as it tried, it thought itself truly going mad.
So it died. And died again.
And then, it entered a comfortable sleep.
**
"But I did wake up eventually. Though I could have slept again."
Having finished its story, Ouroboros shrugged as if it were nothing special.
I didn't know if it had killed people or what that was like, but at least there was no such content in the story. It was so simple that much must have been summarized.
Having lived many times longer than a human lifespan, if it could be condensed to "passing days and nights," I couldn't begin to imagine the loneliness and tedium it must have experienced.
I'm not trying to empathize with a Demon God, but thinking that Urr emerged from these suicide attempts made me feel that both Ouroboros and Urr had led tragic lives.
"...Does the tendency to kill decrease if you're not stealing lifespans to survive?"
The pizza had arrived. As I laid out the tray and casually asked, the Demon God turned its head, unable to take its eyes off the food.
Then, forgetting how hot it was, it grabbed a slice and stuffed it into its mouth. Only after filling one cheek did it answer my question.
"At least for me, yes."
Thinking of the Swordmaster Demon God reportedly spotted in another country, this wasn't entirely implausible. Reports said that Demon God focused more on honing its swordsmanship than killing people.
If a Demon God doesn't need to steal lifespans to survive, the only ones left are those who kill out of boredom. And even those are few.
I realized that not receiving education in ethics and morality doesn't automatically lead to murder. Without education, one might lean toward extremes and kill people, but that's all.
Like Ouroboros, if there's no particular reason to kill, they might just keep their distance and observe.
Urr didn't know this, so it came down to human settlements and got reported.
"Was Ouroboros really just bored?"
"As I've been saying all along, that's really all. If it had been me, I wouldn't have come this far."
It was too docile for a Demon God. I thought it was a monster that shouldn't be released into the world because of its eerie aura, but its personality was so rounded that it reminded me of Urr.
Though it did feel a bit more raw than Urr.
"Is it delicious?"
"It is."
Watching it munch through the pizza slices one by one, I thought it was impressive.
"Do you want to experience what Urr felt?"
"Yes. I'm curious about what 'I' did here."
The Demon God didn't seem to feel any aversion to having another self. If anything, it seemed grateful that Urr had allowed it to sleep well.
It was a strange feeling.
I had thought all Demon Gods were hostile, looking down on everything except themselves and acting as if they were the rules of this world. Just knowing such a Demon God existed was a fascinating experience.
I thought Urr was acting as a suppressor for the Demon God, but it was just a persona derived from a bored Demon God, which was somewhat deflating.
What had I been afraid of all this time?
They say humans fear the unknown, and that seemed true. I had only been afraid based on fragments I didn't properly understand.
"...Urr didn't do much. Just made real friends and had fun, that's all."
"That's what I want to do. ...I never expected to be this close to people. Is it possible when you get younger? Or is it just you?"
"Well, it's true that getting younger helps, and yes, I can approach you even when you're emitting Aura."
Hearing the Demon God say it wanted to experience anything, I smiled bitterly. I felt like I would end up revisiting what Urr had been doing all this time.
Having cleaned out an entire pizza, the Demon God nodded as if somewhat satisfied.
"Excellent. This was something I couldn't eat in the forest."
I was afraid it might leave a review if I handed over my phone later.
Would it give five stars?