Back inside, Thinley scolded me for being late. We got into the line for food, but my mind wasn't there; it kept replaying that moment that happened outside, wondering who he was, where he belonged, and that smile that made my heart beat faster like a rap beat.
After we got our lunch, we sat at the table, but why hadn't my heart slowed down? I wondered.
"I guess it's yours."
A familiar red handkerchief landed softly on my table. I left it outside. I looked up—and my breath hitched. It was him. The same guy from outside. Standing right in front of me again.
Thinley looked at me, then at him, eyes widening. I knew what she was already thinking.
"Yes... thank you," I managed to say, my voice barely steady. Why am I like this? Why couldn't I speak properly? I thought to myself.
He smiled again—OH MY GOD!, that smile—and nodded before excusing himself like a gentleman.
"Pema, who is that?" Thinley whispered, shocked.
"I don't know," I said quietly, still staring at his retreating figure.
Thinley nudged me, giving me that nasty teasing look she always gave when she sensed something fishy. I shook my head, wishing she would stop. I hated it when she teased like this as I knew if she caught even one tiny hint of something fishy, she would never let me forget it.
"Are you guys having fun?" Sonam walked toward us, glowing in her wedding kira.
We both nodded.
"Sonam, who is he?" Thinley pointed straight at him, the guy who was now laughing and speaking with Sonam's husband, Karma.
Sonam followed her gaze. When she spotted him, she smiled knowingly.
"He is Tandin Dorji," she said. "He's close friends with Karma. Why?"
Thinley didn't even hesitate. "Pema is interested." My cheeks burnt so hard I wanted the floor to swallow me whole.
"When did I say that?" I muttered, annoyed—but also strangely desperate to hear more about him.
"Really?" Sonam raised an eyebrow at me. I took a sip of wine to avoid answering.
"Mapa (Actually), he's really nice, a true gentleman," Sonam continued. "Hot too. I also didn't know Karma had a friend like him. He completed his studies in England; he's a surgeon and interned at a local hospital there. He came back to work here in Bhutan recently."
My heart thumped painfully at each word—'England' and 'surgeon' 'came back'. He seemed very distant.
"Is he single or...?" Thinley asked boldly.
I froze. My stomach is feeling twisted. It felt like waiting for exam results that I wasn't prepared for.
"From what I heard, he has no girlfriend," Sonam said lightly.
Relief washed over me so strongly I almost exhaled out loud. "See?" Thinley teased again, elbowing me.
"It's not like we're going to date," I said quickly, feeling heat creep up my neck. "It's just... whatever."
It's not like we're going to be a couple now that he was single. His life is already set polished, successful, and stable.
And mine... what even is mine? I'm still here, struggling to move, change, and become someone. I'm stuck dreaming about what my life could be. Dreaming of someone like him is like yearning for water in a desert, where it is impossible to locate.
Romance was the last thing I ever wanted. I knew myself too well—if I fell in love, everything inside me would crumble. I wasn't built for that kind of chaos. And someone like him... He'd never want someone like me, someone who would destroy his happy life.
Thinley, maybe a suitable match. She was stable, confident, and doing the job she wanted to do. She was beautiful. But she already had a boyfriend. She had her life together.
Mine was just... a mess.
"Photo session!" someone shouted, pulling me from these thoughts.
Before I could escape, Thinley grabbed my arm and dragged me toward the crowd. It was the group photo. Everyone squeezed in, laughing, adjusting their clothes and posing. Thinley nudged me forward so we could fit into the frame, but I stumbled again—my legs were betraying me the entire evening.
This time, someone caught me. That touch—I recognised it instantly. I gulped.
I looked up, breath catching.
Tandin.
Smiling down at me like he had been waiting for me to fall.
The camera flashed before I even realised our positions—me in his hands, his arm steady around me, looking at each other; both of us captured a moment we weren't ready for. He leaned closer, bending down to my height, and whispered with a soft laugh, "Today, aren't you falling too much?" And just like that, the butterflies that were in the cage exploded inside me. I walked quickly away from the scene. I knew he was totally playing with me. I was embarrassed at the thought that he might be thinking I was trying to get his attention.
"I think he's into you," Thinley whispered as she came to my side, nudging me with her elbow.
"No, he's not," I replied too quickly, refusing to let the thought settle in my heart.
The celebration had finally quieted down, laughter fading into the night. I gathered my things, ready to disappear before my feelings betrayed me. Thinley insisted she would drop me off at home, so I followed her toward the gate.
"Thank you for coming," Sonam said as she pulled both of us into a warm hug. Karma nodded with a smile and a silent thank-you. My chest felt oddly full. I didn't expect to feel so happy and to think to myself: yesterday only she was a girl who would go to a party every weekend, and today she was married.
Then, a sleek black car stopped in front of us.
Tandin.
He was leaning out through the window, waving casually.
"Ride?" he asked, his voice calm but eyes glimmering with something playful.
Thinley grinned at me wickedly. "Pema, get in. I need to go meet my boyfriend." And before I could protest, she shoved me toward the passenger seat, abandoning me to my doom or destiny.
I sat on a seat. Even the air around him smelt fresh... dangerous.
"Please take my friend home safely." Thinley said, smirking before she shut the door. I glared at her through the window, but she only winked and left.
He looked at me, a gentle smile tugging at his lips. "It's my pleasure," he said, and my heart responded like a fire alarm.
"Where do–"
"Yes?" I squeaked, already panicking. He blinked and suddenly burst into laughter, bending forward as if I had just told the funniest joke in the world. My heart did a backflip. But why did he seem cute now? I thought to myself.
"I was going to ask where you live," he said once he caught his breath. "Am I that scary?"
I stared ahead, cheeks burning. "Olakha", I muttered, afraid that looking at him would give out the impression of an idiot, who blushed at everything.
The sky outside was pitch black, city lights twinkling like they were spying on us. Suddenly, the car was filled with music — Señorita by Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello. Of all songs.
I froze. He smirked.
I forgot how to breathe like that we reached in front of my building.
"Can you stop there?" I asked, already fumbling with the seatbelt.
He parked smoothly. "Thank you," I said softly, stepping out before he could make me melt any further and make myself a fool.
I had just turned to go when his voice cut through the night:
"Ms. Pema Zangmo! It was a pleasure to meet you!"
I froze. He... knew my name? My name...
He smiled—that smile—then drove away, like he hadn't just turned my world upside down.
My feet moved faster, my heart refusing to slow. By the time I reached my door, my legs gave out. I just collapsed onto the floor.
"What the hell was that smile..." I whispered, covering my burning face.
A cold shower didn't wash away the butterflies; it only woke them up even more. I rubbed my feet; it had been a long time since I wore heels, and they made my feet hurt. I sighed and lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling, replaying every single moment, every laugh, every glance.
It's been so long since I felt such joy.
Too long.