The house-elf named Tink immediately covered its eyes in terror.
A second later, however, it realised something very strange.
It was still alive.
More importantly, the horrifying dark creature standing in front of it had just said something Tink could actually understand.
"…What?"
Tink let out a shrill squeak of confusion.
Did Dementors eat fried chicken and chips now?
"Sir… aren't you here to eat Tink?" the little elf asked fearfully through the gaps between its fingers.
The monster wore no dark cloak.
And it hadn't immediately sucked out Tink's soul.
"Have you ever seen a soul-eating monster whose opening line was 'one order of fried chicken and chips'?" Ethan asked tiredly.
"When I walked in, all of you started screaming and running away."
"I-I'm sorry, sir!" Tink squeaked immediately. "A ghost said a soul-eating Dementor came to Hogwarts recently, so everyone became terrified! We are terrible elves! Terrible elves!"
While apologising, Tink subconsciously began searching for nearby objects suitable for self-punishment.
Eventually, its eyes landed on a red-hot frying pan.
"Stop."
Ethan intervened instantly.
This was the last remaining house-elf in the kitchen. If it smashed its own skull open, Ethan's dinner would be ruined.
Apparently, direct commands worked far better than comfort.
Tink immediately froze and stared at Ethan with watery eyes.
"Make me food," Ethan said calmly, "and I'll officially declare you the best house-elf in Hogwarts."
The compliment worked like lighting a fuse.
Crack! Crack! Crack!
The kitchen exploded with Apparition sounds as the previously escaped house-elves instantly returned.
"Sir! Poppy can make fried chicken!"
"Sir! Your chips!"
"Sir! Kobe has freshly fried chicken legs!"
Why was there actually a house-elf named Kobe?
Ethan genuinely had no idea how he escaped the kitchen alive afterward.
Within less than a minute, mountains of food had appeared around him. Fried chicken, chips, pastries, pies—house-elves continuously shoved more and more dishes toward him like they were trying to bury him alive beneath dinner.
Honestly, if they weren't house-elves, Ethan might have suspected someone was attempting a scientific experiment to determine whether Dementors could starve to death.
Admittedly, it was an interesting research topic.
No one had tested it before.
When Ethan finally returned to the Gryffindor common room carrying enough food to supply a small army, he found Harry, Ron, and Hermione whispering together privately.
"Ethan!" Harry looked up immediately. "Where were you? You missed dinner."
"Hermione even saved food for you," Ron added while pointing toward a paper bag sitting on the table. "Also, Hagrid said you brought the black unicorn to his hut earlier. What else did you find inside the Forbidden Forest? We should go together next time."
"The Forbidden Forest is dangerous," Hermione interrupted sharply. "We absolutely should not—"
"Using curses on Snape was dangerous too," Ron pointed out.
"That was different," Hermione snapped immediately. "We were protecting Harry. Ethan only entered the forest because he was with a professor."
Then she looked toward Ethan confidently.
"Professor Quirrell missed dinner too, didn't he?"
Ignoring the complete lack of actual logic involved, Hermione's reasoning somehow sounded convincing.
"Ah. Yes," Ethan agreed calmly.
After sitting down, he quietly used his system storage to replace Hermione's cold leftovers with fresh fried chicken from the kitchens.
"I found the unicorn near the lake," Ethan explained while devouring his late dinner. "It kept following me around, so I left it with Hagrid temporarily. It's returned to the unicorn herd now."
Potentially with plans to bring the entire herd to Hagrid's hut for Butterbeer later.
Ethan wisely kept that thought to himself.
At this rate, Hagrid was going to bankrupt every pub in Hogsmeade anyway. Newly hatched dragons required chicken-blood brandy every thirty minutes.
The bars would soon recognise Hagrid as their greatest financial supporter.
Still, as long as Hagrid sold off some of the extremely valuable magical creature materials scattered throughout his hut, money wouldn't become a serious problem.
The man basically lived inside Hogwarts's largest illegal biological warehouse.
While Ethan ate, the others continued discussing Hagrid's dragon problem.
"Hagrid could genuinely go to prison for this," Hermione worried aloud.
"Is there really a place to keep dragons?" Harry asked suddenly, remembering something Ethan mentioned earlier.
"Of course," Ethan replied after finishing his meal at alarming speed. "I've already solved the food issue too."
Based on the incredible productivity of Hogwarts house-elves, feeding ten dragons honestly wouldn't be difficult.
Ethan had no intention of raising Norbert inside his personal Room of Requirement base, however.
Instead, he planned to ask the room to create a separate dragon sanctuary.
After extensive experimentation, Ethan had discovered something interesting.
The Room of Requirement only maintained its "Ethan Base" configuration when occupied exclusively by himself, the Count, or Ali.
Once unrelated creatures entered, the room changed automatically.
He had tested this thoroughly using Puffskeins, salamanders, and even one deeply unwilling Acromantula.
None produced the same effect as the Count or Ali.
Apparently, the room only recognised human or semi-human desires.
Dragons likely counted as instinct-driven magical beasts instead.
That meant Ethan could theoretically create a dragon sanctuary accessible to Hagrid, Harry, and the others while still keeping his true base completely secret.
And that secrecy mattered.
There were far too many suspicious Dark Arts books lying around inside.
The only real concern involved Norbert himself.
If the dragon proved impossible to control, Ethan already had a backup plan.
Charlie Weasley.
"But we should still prepare alternatives," Ethan said conservatively. "If the dragon becomes unmanageable, we'll need to send it away somehow."
Then he casually made a throat-slitting gesture.
"Hagrid would be devastated," Harry said immediately.
"Why is your first solution always murder?" Hermione frowned.
"Wait—I've got it!" Ron suddenly sat upright excitedly. "My brother Charlie studies dragons in Romania! He could definitely help."
Ron's backup plan sounded much safer.
Still, at Ethan's request, they decided not to contact Charlie immediately.
A backup plan only existed for emergencies.
And unless something unexpected happened, emergency plans never needed activation.
Two peaceful days of school life passed quickly after that.
Then, on Thursday around noon, Hagrid sent another frantic note.
The edges of the parchment looked slightly burned.
[IT'S ALMOST HATCHED]
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