Then our new journey began.
We four started going to school together and returning together as well. We studied as a group, always staying beside each other. Days kept passing like this, and soon the final exam date was announced—only 40 days were left. Everyone became serious about preparation.
Because of the exam pressure, we couldn't go to the game center for many days. I felt a little sad about it. So we all planned that after the exams, we would go somewhere on the weekend to spend time together and enjoy.
After coming back from school, I started studying. While I was focusing on my books, Minsu suddenly came to my house to discuss studies.
Minsu and I started discussing the exams. She looked really worried because her previous exam didn't go well, and her marks were low. Because of that, her family had been putting a lot of pressure on her. They even said that if she failed to get good marks this time, they might send her away.
But she wasn't mentally ready for that at all.
I tried to comfort her and said, "If you try properly, you will definitely get good marks."
After that, we sat together with our books, studying and taking notes.
Days kept passing like this. Slowly, only one day was left for the exam.
I was extremely tense. It felt like I still had so much to study and so little time. That night, I kept thinking about the exam until I finally fell asleep.
The next morning, I woke up with the same nervous feeling. I didn't even know what I would write in the exam paper.
After getting ready, I walked out of my room and saw my mother had already prepared breakfast for me. She told me not to take too much stress.
After breakfast, I said goodbye to her and left home with Minsu and Kavin. Only five minutes were left before the exam.
I tried to calm my mind and prepare myself.
Soon, the teacher arrived and distributed the question papers.
The exam began… and after some time, it ended.
One by one, all the exams finished like that.
Finally, the weekend started. I felt a little excited thinking about spending time with my friends again. Not only that, my family also planned that we would go to our village house together.
That night, we had dinner together. My father was supposed to come home late from the office, so after dinner we all went to our rooms and slept.
Around 12 AM, I suddenly woke up.
I heard my mother crying.
I quickly got up and saw her talking urgently on the phone with my uncle. I ran to her and asked what happened.
Through tears, she said— "Your father suddenly became very sick."
My mind went completely blank.
A few months ago, my father had been diagnosed with liver problems. After treatment and medicine, the doctor said he was fine. So we didn't take it too seriously anymore.
But suddenly… everything changed.
He started vomiting blood repeatedly. I couldn't even stand properly after hearing it.
My uncles rushed to our house and took him to the hospital along with my mother.
He was admitted immediately. After checking him, the doctor said he needed an urgent liver operation.
The operation was scheduled for the next day.
That night, only my mother stayed at the hospital. The rest of us stayed at home.
Everyone was tense, but I kept telling myself—tomorrow everything will be fine… he will come back home after the operation.
But at 11 PM, my aunt's phone suddenly rang.
Maybe it was a call from the hospital.
Then suddenly, my aunt started crying loudly.
Within seconds, the entire house broke into tears.
My little brother got scared. I asked my cousin what happened.
He held me tightly and cried— "Your father… he is no more."
For a moment, I couldn't understand anything.
It felt like my mind stopped working.
No tears came out. No reaction. Just silence.
Soon, they brought my father's body back home.
My mother was holding me and crying uncontrollably.
But I just sat there, looking at him.
He looked like he was sleeping peacefully… just like always.
I slowly touched his hand.
It was completely cold.
I was scared that if I moved him, his sleep might break… so I just stayed still.
Blood was coming from his nose and ears, and someone was wiping it gently.
I kept staring at him without saying anything.
Then came the final goodbye. He was taken for his janaza.
From a distance, I watched everything silently.
People around whispered, "Even after losing her father, she isn't crying…"
But inside, everything had already broken.
After everything, I went back to my room and lay down.
When I woke up again, I went outside. Minsu came to me and asked if I was okay.
I looked at her and asked softly— "Why wouldn't I be okay?"
She looked shocked. "You've been like this for three days… we were all scared."
I just replied, "Oh… I see."
Time kept passing.
Results came. A new class started. I went back to school again.
Everyone thought I would break down, stop talking, and stay alone.
But I still went to school with Minsu and Kavin, laughing and talking like before.
Teachers would sometimes look at me with concern and say everything would be fine.
I would just smile slightly.
Days passed… then months.
Six months went by.
But inside my heart… nothing felt the same anymore.
I still stayed awake at night, waiting for my father to come home from work.
Even though I knew… he never would.
My mother cried silently when she thought we weren't looking.
It's not that I didn't feel anything.
I felt everything.
I just couldn't show it.
I tried many times to share my pain, but the words never came out.
And I kept remembering everything…
How my father used to come home and ask if I studied.
How my mother used to check on me.
How he used to bring small treats just for me.
Now…
who will I give a foot massage to?
who will I wait for at night?
why did everything change so suddenly?
These questions kept repeating in my mind…
And I just sat there in silence, staring at nothing.
(To be continued…)