In the school corridor, a handsome young man cornered a cute girl in a short skirt...
"Um... excuse me, did you need something?" The cute girl asked, her tone a mix of confusion and shyness.
Hearing that voice, the handsome youth instantly kicked into high gear. He swept his hair back in a "cool" gesture—which, in reality, looked incredibly cringeworthy to the girl—and spoke with a voice dripping with intense, soulful emotion:
"My lady, I love you! Marry me!"
The moment those words left his lips, the girl froze. She seemed to be undergoing a "triple existential crisis": Who am I? Where am I? And why is this magnificent madman proposing to me? However, she quickly snapped back to reality, realizing she'd just been confessed to. Suppressing a shudder of secondhand embarrassment, she replied with a pained expression:
"I'm sorry, you're a nice person, but I'm actually a Trap. Please, go find someone else!"
In this advanced information age, "The Nice Guy Card" wasn't the only way for a girl to reject a man. To save face for the rejector and get the persistent suitor off their back, they sometimes resorted to self-deprecation—like claiming to be a "crossdresser" so the other party would lose all hope and stop the chase.
As for whether she was actually a guy or not... who knew? It's not like anyone would dare lift her skirt to check!
"I don't believe it! If you're a guy, prove it—take off that skirt right now! With my high-level observation skills honed by reading the hearts of thousands of maidens, I swear on my life, you're a 100% genuine girl!"
The handsome youth puffed out his chest with absolute confidence.
{Take it off?! Are you insane?! And what do you mean 'understand the hearts of maidens'?!}
The cute girl couldn't even manage an internal protest anymore. She just stared at him as if looking at a total idiot before saying casually:
"Sorry, I'm not interested in dating. We're students; we should be focusing on our studies and moving forward, not drowning in romance and 'dirty thoughts'!"
With that, she bolted, clutching her textbooks as if the youth were a plague-bearer. She left the handsome young man standing there, hand outstretched (like a tragic drama meme), his face a mask of blank shock and unbearable heartbreak. After a long silence, he let out a weary sigh and wailed:
"Plan number 99 to escape bachelorhood fails again. Hah! Are otaku like us really destined to be eternal loners? I refuse to accept this!!! Arghhh!"
"Isn't there a saying that there are plenty of fish in the sea? Then why can't I even find a single scale?! Do I really have to turn gay and find a cute, gentle, easy-to-talk-to Trap?"
"Besides, at your age, why are you only thinking about studying? You're just adding to the country's over-greening problem! Are you trying to brainwash me too? Let me tell you, studying is impossible—not in this lifetime. How can studying compare to the joy of dating..."
Reaching his limit, the handsome youth who couldn't handle reality screamed at the sky.
"Goddess of Love! I really want to curse your lineage! If you've got the guts, strike me with lightning and send me to the world of a teen romance anime!"
Right then, a thunderous roar exploded across the clear sky!
◆━⊰✿✧✿⊱━◆
"Whoa! Dammit!!!"
Izuru jerked awake from his dream. He opened his eyes in a daze, trapped in his own "triple existential crisis": Who am I? Where am I? What just happened? Finally, he murmured in a strange tone.
"A familiar sight... wait, no, I mean an unfamiliar ceiling... Tsk! I mean, a very familiar monitor!"
Slumped over his computer desk with the screen still glowing, Izuru finally regained full consciousness. He stretched his body and thought resignedly.
Last night, riding high on the attention from pretty girls, his gaming addiction had flared up. He'd cheerfully dived into the game that had ruined many a youth: LoL. The result? He ran into two "dead weight" teammates—the "Child Zed" and the "Trash Yasuo"—who nearly made a pro-gamer like him question the meaning of existence.
To make matters worse, unwilling to accept defeat because of two feeders, Izuru started a new match. The result...
He ran into the exact same two dead weights. They still picked the "Zed and Yasuo" combo, still fought over Mid, still flamed each other, and still intentionally fed to spite their teammates.
On top of that, for some reason, the enemy team always featured two players with "blank" names. Their skills were insane. What made Izuru want to vomit blood was that both of them were mechanical gods; when they worked together, they were invincible. Even a gaming expert like Izuru was forced to retreat empty-handed.
{If not for those two elementary school teammates, I could have fought them to a standstill!}
Driven by spite, Izuru kept playing. The results would make anyone who heard of them weep and anyone who saw them mourn!
He played until 1:00 AM. Finally, admitting defeat against his own teammates, Izuru shut down the game and passed out at his desk.
"Is that why I had that dream? I guess staying up late really is bad—whether it's for a strong 'liver' to work hard or a healthy 'kidney' for future happiness... But fortunately, school hours in this country are pretty chill, so I have enough time for a quick nap."
With a wry smile and a shake of his head to clear the cobwebs, Izuru stood up and headed to the bathroom for his mandatory morning rituals. You know—[CENSORED], [CENSORED], and [CENSORED]... I mean brushing his teeth, washing his face, and "taking a shot." And by "taking a shot," I don't mean anything illegal or NSFW!
However, looking at his reflection in the mirror—noticing his eyes were slightly bloodshot—Izuru smiled bitterly again. "Late nights lead to red eyes because of fatigue? Who knows... if this keeps up, maybe I'll get a 'red eye disease' and end up with some cool ocular powers? Should I grow my hair out to my waist? Maybe I'll develop a different kind of handsome charisma..."
After finishing his business, Izuru grabbed a quick breakfast, threw on his uniform, and opened the door to leave. But the moment he remembered he actually had to go to school, he felt exhausted.
"Isn't there a pretty girl living next door who wants to walk with me?"
🎇Keep reading and support this story on Ko-fi:
📎Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/lovefanfiction or bit.ly/4sbFiOM
✅More early access chapters from WebNovel
✅5 translated fanfic chapters & 1-2 new original fanfic chapters every day (Monday-Saturday), exclusive on Ko-fi.
Thank you so much for your incredible support!