"That hot spring over there is absolutely not a natural one!"
Slap—!
"In the first place, the ground beneath that site is the 1st floor of the Dungeon! There is no possible way a hot spring would just gush out from there!"
Naaza had led Akumo and Bell to a certain plaza. There, Naaza, Miach, Daphne, and Cassandra stood with their hands on their hips, lecturing them about the illegitimacy of the new hot spring.
"Well, you certainly have a point, but..."
"Why exactly were we dragged into this?"
Akumo asked, his voice flat. Naaza placed a finger on her chin, appearing to contemplate for a moment before speaking.
"Hmm..."
""...?""
"Originally, the Miach Familia was the one planning to build that hot spring."
'So we're just skipping the explanations, then!'
Without further preamble, Naaza began pouring out the history of their involvement with the hot spring, her words fueled by a sudden surge of reminiscence.
"Of course, we never intended to claim it was a natural spring."
"Even if it was just ordinary water, we wanted to create a resting place where everyone could relax and unwind."
As she spoke, Naaza recalled the struggle. As the sole member of the Familia for so long, she had spent countless seasons toiling at their home, planning this hot spring to finally achieve something for their group.
"But just when I thought the plan, built on layers of hardship, was finally complete...!"
Clench—!
"Dian Cecht snatched it away just like that!"
Clench—!
Seeing Naaza and Miach clenching their fists in identical poses of indignation, Bell and Akumo exchanged a glance, wondering if they were truly obligated to keep listening to this.
"That man boasted that if it were him, he wouldn't build a mere water facility, but a true natural hot spring...!"
"Was that how it happened...?" Bell asked sympathetically.
"No, wait... how many months of interest did he write off for you in exchange?" Akumo interjected, cutting through the melodrama.
"...Four months' worth."
"Ahaha..."
'If it were actually an illegal seizure, you would have asked for help, not a debt reduction...' Akumo thought, giving Miach and Naaza a deadpan stare.
"You seem well-informed, Akumo-san."
"Well, I've heard things..."
"W-Was it from Amid-san...?"
Daphne and Cassandra nodded in agreement with Akumo's skepticism, but the moment they asked if he had heard the story from Amid, Naaza's grip tightened.
Clench—!
"While some of us are struggling and drying up...!!"
"Ah...!! W-Wait a minute...!!?"
Squeeze—!!!
"You must have had a very nice time, didn't you!?"
"Ugyagyagyak...!!!!"
Naaza, apparently finding his casual tone irritating, began pinching and pulling Akumo's cheeks to vent her stress. Once she was satisfied, she resumed her explanation.
"That hot spring is not a natural one...!"
Swipe—!
"However, it is also true that the users are all reporting miraculous effects."
"It's true, my brother and I still feel the warmth in our bodies!" Bell added.
"I've also heard stories of acquaintances whose back pain vanished," Akumo noted, rubbing his sore cheeks.
"They say it cures chills, headaches, thinning hair, and even obesity..."
As Akumo and Bell listed the rumored benefits, a genuine curiosity began to flicker in their eyes.
"All of that is possible from one spring?"
"It does sound rather impossible..."
Seeing them waver, Naaza clenched her fist again, looking to drive the point home.
"That's exactly why I want to know! I want to find out what kind of fraud they're pulling with ordinary water!"
Clench—!
"I want to investigate thoroughly, but we can't do anything on our own!"
"Therefore!"
Ta-da—!
As she raised her arm as if making a grand declaration, Akumo and Bell gave up on thinking too deeply and simply offered strained smiles.
"So, you're saying you've kidnapped us...?"
"Ahaha..."
In that moment—
"So this is where you were, Miach!!"
""""!!""""
"That voice..."
"Could it be...!"
The voice of a certain God echoed through the plaza.
"Where is that voice coming from!?"
"Over there!!"
Point—!
To the flustered Miach, Naaza immediately pointed toward one of the massive pipes of the hot spring facility. Standing atop it was indeed the Patron Deity of the [Dian Cecht Familia], Dian Cecht.
"Dian!"
"What business do you have here?"
Miach and Naaza were on guard, but Dian Cecht merely laughed.
"Bwahaha!! Listen and rejoice! Miach-h-h Familia!"
"Miach-h-h? Miach...?"
"Tsk! Weak Familias are so difficult to even name!"
At Dian Cecht's mocking tone, the Miach Familia glared at him in frustration.
"Stop treating us like fools...!"
"It's not even that hard to pronounce!?"
Clench—!
"The giraffe drawing I drew is a well-drawn giraffe drawing, and the giraffe drawing you drew is a poorly-drawn giraffe drawing!"
As if determined not to stumble over her words, Daphne suddenly launched into a tongue twister to prove her elocution to Dian Cecht.
"Alright!"
Strike—!
"Miach-h-h Familia!"
"...?"
"Dammit!"
Despite her confidence, Daphne failed the pronunciation immediately. Akumo felt a sense of absurdity wash over him, but before he could react, everyone present—excluding himself, Dian Cecht, and Cassandra—even Bell, began practicing the tongue twister.
""""The giraffe drawing I drew is a well-drawn giraffe drawing...""""
"No... are you guys filming a comedy skit?"
'Even Miach-sama is doing it...'
""""And the giraffe drawing you drew is a poorly-drawn giraffe drawing!""""
"Is no one listening to me!?"
""""Alright!""""
Ignoring Akumo's retort entirely, they simply shouted the name again with renewed determination.
""""Miach-h-h Familia!""""
""""Dammit!""""
At that sight, both Akumo and Dian Cecht looked on with expressions of utter disbelief, though Dian Cecht eventually broke into a sneer.
"Bwahaha!!! See! Even you lot cannot pronounce your own name!"
"Fine, I give up..."
"The giraffe drawing I drew is a well-drawn giraffe drawing, and whatever else to the Miach-h-h people~"
Strike—!
"I bring good news!"
Akumo finally abandoned all hope of understanding the situation, and Dian Cecht made another declaration.
"Behold the blessing bestowed by the God of Hot Springs, the Cecht Hot Spring~"
Whish—!
"Receive it!"
Tap, tap—!
A piece of paper flew through the air like a shuriken. When Naaza cautiously picked it up, she saw the words '10% Hot Spring Discount' written on it.
"T-This is...!?"
Thump—!
Dian Cecht hopped down from the building, making a massive fuss as if he had just granted them a legendary treasure.
"For the four members of the Miach-h-h Familia, what a surprise~!!"
"Specially!!"
"I present three 10% discount entry coupons!"
"""How stingy!"""
Miach, Naaza, and Daphne shouted in unison, their frustration boiling over.
"You gave us exactly three on purpose! And this discount is barely worth the price of a single Jagamarukun...!"
"And you're telling the fourth person to pay full price!?"
Meanwhile, Akumo looked at the coupons they were holding and noticed something odd.
"Wait... these are a bit different from the coupons I used?"
"""!!"""
"The ones I used definitely said 50% off."
"That's right, and we even got two bottles of milk for free," Bell added.
"!!"
At Akumo and Bell's words, not only the Miach Familia but even Dian Cecht looked shocked.
"W-What!? Is that true, Amid!"
When Dian Cecht turned to Amid in shock, she avoided his gaze and spoke quickly.
"O-Oh my!! If you use a coupon at the food court inside the hot spring, you can receive a free Jagamarukun!"
"No, wait a second...!"
"Right now, you can even enjoy the limited-time luxury caviar flavor...!"
"They had something like that?"
"Ah, what a shame we missed it!"
"K-Kehem...! Fine, whatever!"
Dian Cecht tried to press Amid further, but seeing her desperately pivoting to promotional talk and seeing Akumo and Bell's positive reactions, he coughed a few times and let it slide.
"""Dammit!"""
"They got a total steal...!"
"This is the triple reverse-slide method, where the more you eat, the more profit you make!"
Strike—!
"And you're still telling one of us to pay full price!?"
"Are you praising them or being angry right now?"
Leaving Miach, Naaza, and Dian Cecht to their comedy routine, Bell, who had briefly regained his senses, approached Akumo and asked about Amid.
"That was Amid-san... right?"
"Yeah. She's a high-ranking member of the Dian Cecht Familia and Orario's top healer, known as the [Dea Saint]."
"The top...!"
"She's been active as a frontline healer since seven years ago... I've been in her debt many times myself."
As Akumo explained Amid's career and mentioned how much she had helped him, Bell looked at her in awe.
"Uuuugh....!!!"
However, Naaza, clearly displeased by the praise, began shouting at them in rebuttal.
"What 'top healer'? What 'God of Hot Springs Cecht Hot Spring'?"
Strike—!
"Stealing someone else's plan with that kind of money! And what's with that arrogant attitude?"
"Which of us is the one acting arrogant?" Dian Cecht snapped back.
"Amid, you know the secret of that fraudulent hot spring too, don't you!?"
Flinch—!
At Naaza's accusation, Amid looked momentarily flustered, as if her conscience had been pricked.
"I don't know anything..."
"Stop making false accusations! This is business interference!"
"....."
"Our hot spring is a natural one! Nothing has been added!"
Dian Cecht shouted at them, but regardless of right or wrong, it was clear from the circumstances that something had been done to the spring.
"There's no way! Answer me, Amid!"
"Naaza... you're getting a bit too angry—"
"I said, answer me!"
Whish—!
"Naaza Erithuis. Do not dig any deeper into this matter."
""!!""
At Amid's firm words, Naaza and Akumo looked at her in surprise. Dian Cecht, acting as if he had nothing more to say, prepared to leave.
"Hmph! Use those discount coupons with as much gratitude as you can muster!"
"You weak Miach-h-h Familia."
Step, step—!
"They're only valid until the end of this month!"
"They're gone..."
"They really left..."
"...Should we go too?"
"Yeah."
Seeing Dian Cecht and Amid—who were clearly hiding something—depart, Akumo and Bell thought it was finally time to make their exit.
Though they had been swept up in the comedic atmosphere, they were essentially bewildered outsiders in this feud.
Rattle—!
""!?""
"When someone tells you not to dig deeper, it just makes you want to dig even more, doesn't it?"
Suddenly, the bench they had been sitting on until a moment ago began to move, and a very familiar voice reached their ears.
"Hermes-sama?"
"When on earth did you get there...!?"
"Wahahaha!!!! I thought something like this might happen, so I've been disguised as a bench for the last three days!"
"You crazy bastard..."
'Should I even be impressed at this point?'
Akumo, knowing Hermes was prone to bizarre schemes but seeing him even more unhinged than usual, tried to quickly grab Bell and escape... but...
"If you're going to investigate that hot spring, I'll lend a hand too."
"You will?"
"Hey, let's just go..."
'If we stay any longer, we're getting dragged in...!'
Ta-da—!
"Along with Bell-kun and Akumo-kun here!"
Naturally, there was no escape.
"Shit!"
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