Hm. Not a bad idea, actually. In the near future, I'll need to build connections and influence. If I marry into clans like the Uchiha and the Hyuga, I'll automatically become a big shot in Konoha. And if I manage to rope in an Uzumaki as well? Support from Uzushiogakure would be incredible. And if I become a Legendary Sannin and the savior of the Hidden Whirlpool Village, then marrying all three might even be possible. Polygamy isn't forbidden by law—it's a feudal society, after all! Daimyō can have dozens of concubines. As for shinobi, though, I've never seen one with more than a single wife. Personally, I think that's just a matter of self-preservation—a kunoichi wife is already a deadly proposition, and if there's more than one, all that's left is to start writing your will. Still, Mikoto seems like she'd make a good wife, and Nami—with her clan upbringing—would be perfect one. Only Kushina might ruin everything.
What does Kushina have to do with this? Well, I am Orochimaru—the villain of this world. I'll take Mikoto and Kushina for myself, and that's it—no more Sasuke, no more Naruto! Bwahahaha!!!
"Orochimaru-san?" the Uchiha called out, concerned.
"What is it, Mikoto-chan?" I snapped back to reality.
"Are you alright? It's just… your expression is a bit frightening," the girl said carefully, choosing her words.
"I'm fine," I lied, "just tired. It hasn't been a pleasant day. Sorry for worrying you."
"No, no! You don't need to worry."
I studied the Uchiha closely and finally asked something that had been bothering me for a while:
"Listen, both of you—what exactly do they do to you in your clans that makes you talk like you're not six years old, but at least twenty?!"
The girls exchanged surprised glances, then burst into laughter in perfect sync and answered in unison:
"They're raising us to be proper wives!"
Yikes. Thank goodness I wasn't born into one of the major clans. Mom, I love you so much! You didn't say a word when I started introducing myself to everyone as a boy! You never forced me to be a girl at home—you accepted me just the way I am! And even though you still think of me as your odd little daughter, you've got every reason to—after all, I never did admit that I've already become a guy!
After chatting for another ten minutes, the girls remembered that they actually needed to head home, and since no more pastries were coming their way, it was time to leave.
"Goodbye, Orochimaru-sama," Nami-chan bowed in the entryway, waiting for her friend, who had run off to the bathroom. "I hope you'll be able to give me another lesson soon."
"So you haven't changed your mind," I sighed. "Fine. Maybe I'll even order a weapon suited to my style for you from the Takumi Village."
"Oh!" the Hyuga's pale eyes widened to their fullest. "That's sooo cool!!!"
"What was that?" I pretended not to hear and smirked slyly.
"Ah… Thank you very much, Orochimaru-sama. I will gladly accept such a gift," she bowed again.
"So you can speak like a normal person after all."
"I don't understand what you mean, Orochimaru-sama," not a single muscle moved on her face.
Mikoto came running back just then, interrupting our conversation, and hurriedly began putting on her coat.
"Honestly, why do you dislike hats so much," I sighed, watching the Uchiha adjust the high collar of her coat. "Wait a moment."
Half a minute of rummaging through the wardrobe, and at last I pull from its depths a wide knitted scarf, drawing it out like a long white snake. Reiko gave it to me about five years ago. Of course, I never wore it—just tossed it onto a shelf, where it ended up buried under other clothes.
"Here," I said, holding the scarf out to Mikoto. "It's yours."
The girl looked at me with a confused, almost pleading expression from beneath her long bangs, holding the gift out on her outstretched hands.
"What are you staring at me for?" I snorted and wrapped the scarf around her head myself.
Well, not bad. I'd never bothered with this kind of thing before, but it turned out pretty nicely. Probably.
"Alright, off you go," I nodded, satisfied.
"Goodbye, Orochimaru-san," came the muffled squeak of the Uchiha, now wrapped in the white scarf.
After closing the door behind them, I stood there for about ten seconds, staring at it blankly. Finally, I exhaled and trudged into the living room, where I collapsed into a chair and let my head fall onto the table with a dull thud.
Idiot! What the hell was I even thinking? Three wives, for crying out loud! You moron—you just handed a child over to a deranged maniac, and now you're sitting here drinking tea with six-year-old girls and making plans to turn them into mutants!
After knocking my head against the table a couple more times for good measure, I calmed down somewhat. Still… I'm sick of this. Something needs to be done about Danzo—he shouldn't survive the Second World War. Otherwise, I'm going to have problems. As it is, I'm already forced to pretend to mourn my mother's death…
A silent shadow crept up behind me and gently embraced me from the back.
"Chi-chan, thank you for the chocolate," she whispered softly.
"You're welcome, Mom," I smiled involuntarily. "Or… what am I supposed to call you now?"