VOICEOVER
The morning after is always the hardest. Not because you regret what you did; because you realize you don't regret it enough. That's when you know you're in trouble. That's when you know you've crossed a line and there's no going back. Aaron woke up in his own bed, next to a girl who loved him, thinking about a girl who didn't. That's not guilt. That's something worse. That's choice.
AARON'S DORM – MORNING
The sun was too bright.
Aaron lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Vicky was curled beside him, her head on his chest, her breathing slow and peaceful. She'd slept over after the small get-together. She'd held him all night. She'd whispered "I love you" into his skin.
He'd said it back.
He didn't know if he meant it anymore.
His phone was on the pillow. He hadn't looked at it. He was afraid of what he'd find. A text from Mandy. A photo. A memory.
"You're awake," Vicky mumbled, her voice thick with sleep.
"Yeah."
"You've been staring at the ceiling for ten minutes."
"Just thinking."
"About?"
He turned his head. Looked at her. Her face was bare, no makeup, her hair a mess. She looked young. Vulnerable. Like a girl who had given him everything and didn't know she was about to lose it.
"About you," he said.
She smiled. "Liar."
"How do you know?"
"Because you get a wrinkle between your eyebrows when you're lying." She reached up, touched his forehead. "Right here."
He caught her hand. Held it.
"I love you," he said.
"I know."
He didn't know if he was saying it to her or to himself.
She kissed him. Soft. Sweet. The kind of kiss that meant something.
He kissed her back.
But his mind was in an abandoned art studio, on a dusty floor, with a girl who tasted like cocaine and trouble.
MANDY'S DORM – MORNING
Mandy woke up alone.
Jon had left early for rounds. His side of the bed was cold. The pillow still smelled like him; soap and sandalwood.
She stretched. Her body ached in all the right places.
She picked up her phone.
No messages from Aaron.
She wasn't surprised. He was the type to overthink. To spiral. To convince himself he was a bad person and then do the same thing again next week.
She typed a message. Deleted it. Typed again. Deleted again.
Finally, she sent:
Mandy (7:32 AM): Good morning, Arie.
He didn't reply.
She wasn't worried. He would. They always did.
She got up, showered, and stood in front of the mirror. The bruises on her hips were already forming; purple and blue, shaped like fingerprints.
She touched them.
He was here, she thought. He was really here.
She smiled.
THE CAFETERIA – AFTERNOON
Charlie was in a good mood.
He sat with Cynthia at the usual table, his arm draped over her shoulder, his chest puffed out like a peacock. Wesley sat across from them, eating a banana with surgical precision. Oliver was there, quiet, but less hollow than before. Nelly was beside him, her hand on his thigh.
Aaron sat at the end, picking at his food.
"You're quiet," Charlie said.
"I'm always quiet."
"You're quieter than usual."
"I'm fine."
"You said that."
"Then stop asking."
Charlie held up his hands. "Damn. Touchy."
Cynthia elbowed him. "Leave him alone."
"I'm just saying."
"You're just being annoying."
Charlie grinned. "You love it."
"I tolerate it. There's a difference."
Wesley looked up. "She's right. There's a difference."
"You're supposed to be on my side."
"I'm on the side of accuracy."
Charlie threw a napkin at him. Wesley caught it without looking.
Oliver laughed. A small sound, but real.
Aaron watched them. The easy banter. The comfortable silence. The way they all fit together, even when they didn't.
They don't know, he thought. None of them know.
His phone buzzed.
Mandy (1:15 PM): You can't ignore me forever.
He put the phone face down.
Vicky was watching him. She didn't say anything. She just watched.
THE ABANDONED STUDIO – LATE AFTERNOON
Aaron found himself back there.
He didn't mean to go. His feet just carried him. Past the humanities building, past the padlocked door, past the dusty windows.
The key was still in his pocket.
He unlocked the door. Stepped inside.
The room smelled like them. Sex and dust and something sweet.
Mandy was there.
She was sitting on the floor, her back against the wall, her knees pulled to her chest. She was wearing a sweater and jeans. Her hair was down.
"You came," she said.
"I didn't know you'd be here."
"Yes, you did."
He sat down across from her. Not close. Not far.
"We can't do this again," he said.
"Okay."
"I mean it."
"I know."
"I'm not joking."
She smiled. "You're never joking. That's the problem."
He ran his hands through his hair. "Mandy."
"Aaron."
"What do you want from me?"
She leaned forward. Her eyes were dark. Serious.
"I want you to stop pretending," she said. "Stop pretending you love her. Stop pretending you're happy. Stop pretending you're not falling apart."
"I'm not falling apart."
"Yes, you are. And that's okay. Because I'm falling apart too." She reached out. Touched his knee. "We can fall apart together. Or we can fall apart alone. Your choice."
He looked at her hand on his knee. Small. Warm. Certain.
"I can't leave Vicky."
"Then don't."
"I can't do this to Jon."
"Then don't."
"Then what do you want?"
She pulled her hand back. "I want you to be honest. With yourself. With me. With them." She stood up. "When you're ready, you know where to find me."
She walked to the door. Paused.
"Arie?"
"Yeah?"
"The bruises you left. I like them."
She left.
Aaron sat on the dusty floor, alone, his head in his hands.
He didn't know what to do.
He didn't know anything anymore.
OLIVER AND NELLY – THE DORM, NIGHT
Nelly lay in Oliver's bed, her head on his chest. The room was dark. The fan was broken.
"You've been different," she said.
"Different how?"
"Lighter. Like something lifted."
He thought about Peculiar. The way she kissed his cheek. The way she said "I'm just here."
"Maybe something did," he said.
Nelly propped herself up. Looked at him. "Are you okay?"
"I think I am."
"Really?"
"Really."
She searched his face. Then she smiled. "Good. Because I was scared I was losing you."
"You're not losing me."
"Promise?"
"I promise."
He didn't know if it was true.
But for the first time in a long time, he wanted it to be.
VOICEOVER
That night, Aaron lay awake, thinking about Mandy's hands. Oliver fell asleep with Nelly in his arms, thinking about Peculiar's smile. Vicky dreamed of a future that was already slipping away. Jon came home to an empty bed and a girlfriend who smelled like someone else. And Ese sat in the dark, watching. Always watching. The cracks were widening. The floor was shifting. And somewhere, in the quiet, a clock was ticking. No one heard it. But everyone would feel it when it stopped.