Much to my dismay, time went by slowly.
And finally…
It was time to go back to school.
I left home as if I was being chased.
School felt like a safe space to me, and I wanted my space and peace back.
It felt like the only place I could breathe properly.
It was nice seeing my friends again.
Familiar faces.
Familiar environment.
But even then…
I still didn't fit in.
I wanted to have conversations with them like friends should.
Normal conversations.
Easy ones.
But I just couldn't bring myself to.
Sometimes, I didn't even understand what they were talking about.
Our interests were different.
Completely different.
And it made me wonder—
How did I even become their friend in the first place?
It didn't take long for me to remember.
A certain someone.
He made it happen.
As usual.
I guess they noticed how anti-social I was.
Because instead of leaving me out, they tried to meet me halfway.
They leaned into my interests.
And somehow…
That made things easier.
I didn't belong completely, but I wasn't entirely outside anymore either.
I was able to connect with someone who liked books as much as I did.
That felt… nice.
Familiar.
Comfortable.
During the time I spent at home, I had reconnected with reading.
Something I didn't even realize I had missed.
And strangely enough…
I had my stepmother to thank for that.
I guess she did something good after all.
With my "nerd friend," I was able to express myself better.
Talk more.
Relate more.
It wasn't perfect.
Not even close.
But it was better than before.
I was still not a people person.
That didn't change.
But I was more social than I used to be.
At least, a little.
According to my friend…
"I was gradually coming out of my shell."
I didn't fully agree.
But I didn't argue either.
They introduced me to a different world entirely.
One I didn't expect to like.
But I did.
Especially the anime part.
I didn't think I'd enjoy it that much.
But I found myself getting interested.
Engaged.
Even excited sometimes.
And somehow, in those moments…
I felt different.
Like I wasn't forcing anything.
Like I was just… there.
Present.
It was new.
But not uncomfortable.
They carried me along in a way that didn't overwhelm me.
I could have fun—
But not enough to drain my social battery.
And I appreciated that.
More than I said.
With time, I was even able to relate with my neighbors.
Not deeply.
Not too much.
But enough.
Still…
Nothing beats the comfort of my room.
My space.
My silence.
My control.
Then our results were released.
And just like I had suspected…
I didn't do well.
Only two or three subjects were good.
The rest?
Not so much.
I was in danger academically.
If I didn't improve in the second semester…
I might have to leave the school.
That was the rule.
Once your CGPA drops below the required level, you're asked to withdraw.
Simple.
Final.
And I didn't want that to happen.
Because that would mean going back home.
Staying there.
Waiting.
Again.
And I knew I couldn't handle that.
Staying home was already difficult.
But staying there with no clear way out?
That would break me.
So I had no choice.
I had to do better.
I started attending classes more seriously.
Tried to understand what was being taught.
But it still didn't make much sense.
I struggled to keep up.
And eventually…
I gave up on relying on classes alone.
Instead, I started studying on my own.
At my own pace.
In my own way.
I had enough time.
Enough space.
So I used it.
I went through my books.
Slowly.
Carefully.
Trying to understand everything.
And whenever I got stuck…
I went to my friends.
We'd go through it together.
Until it made sense.
Or at least…
Made enough sense.
That became our routine.
Study.
Understand.
Repeat.
And somehow…
We still found time to have fun.
Because no matter how serious things got—
We didn't forget to live a little.
After all, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
The semester felt rushed.
Before we knew it, we were writing exams again.
But this time was different.
I was sure of what I had written.
More confident than before.
Exams came and went.
And just like that, it was over.
My friends planned an outing.
I agreed to go.
But at the last minute…
I almost backed out.
Cold feet.
As usual.
But they didn't take no for an answer.
So I went.
And surprisingly…
I didn't regret it.
I had fun.
More fun than I expected.
We went swimming.
I didn't know how to swim, but it didn't matter.
It was fun watching them take turns trying to teach me.
Even though I wasn't making any real progress.
We laughed.
A lot.
We took lot of pictures, i was just in a few.
Then we went out to eat.
And later, we ended the day at the cinema.
By the end of it all, I was exhausted.
My social battery was completely drained.
But somehow…
I was happy.
And for a moment, I thought—
Maybe I really am coming out of my shell.
The break after the semester was long.
Too long.
But the second semester break was much shorter.
And I was grateful for that.
It meant I didn't have to go home.
All I had to do was make a call…
And let them know what I needed.