"Your entry is cleared, Terumi-sama," Izumo invited with a grand gesture when his guard partner Kotetsu came back. He was at their guard post near the main gate of Konoha to check the seals on the invitation and mission scrolls from the Mizukage I brought and allowed enough time for the hidden Hyūga guards to check my entourage for hidden dangers.
"Who will guide us to our temporary residence?" I inquired with a friendly smile.
"Uchiha Mikoto-sama has volunteered her time," Kotetsu replied with a lifted brow.
It was highly unusual for the matriarch of the Uchiha clan to do anything official, least of all do the work of a regular patrol ninja. But that was what the missive from the Hokage had said, so he had informed one of the Uchiha working the guard post to send word to the wife of their clan leader.
"Alright," I accepted and had my group follow me.
Two teams of genin around the ages of ten to twelve eagerly looked around the main street of Konoha but were still mindful to stay close. Fuen and my sister Uzumaki Himari together with her 'disciple' Karin were the only other 'adults' who were allowed to follow me despite the fact that Karin herself was barely thirteen now. Himari's mother was a 'mere' commoner without a surname so the accomplished medi nin was allowed to carry the Uzumaki family name once she was strong enough. I made sure she had that honor.
Standing inside Konoha at the first big crossroads near the gate to wait for Uchiha Mikoto, I heard my sister quietly complain, "Can't they just tell us where to go? I want to check out their hospital!"
I flicked her forehead and chided, "We're guests here. Even if you know all of their secret techniques because your handsome brother extorted them all from them, you can't just waltz into a strategically important place like their shinobi hospital and expect to find out all their secrets. You'd get thrown out instantly. Well, likely worse if they can get away with it."
Rubbing her forehead in annoyance, Himari stuck out her tongue and countered, "That doesn't sound like something that would stop me."
"Do you really want me to tell Mei that you slacked off the first minute we got here or worse, got into trouble? You will never get a chance to take another vacation for as long as Mei is in charge."
"Nyooo~ don't tell the Mizukage! I'll behave," Himari pleaded with a playful grin as she clutched my arm with a pitiful pout.
Unimpressed, I turned to Karin behind her and ordered, "You are not to copy any of her behavior. Haku won't like you acting like this either."
Karin sternly nodded, accepting my statement as truth. But my sister looked at her disciple with a betrayed look and gasped, "What!? I'm a catch! Every shinobi in Kiri would agree!"
"Then why are you, the leader of our main hospital and accomplished elite jōnin and bloodline ninja still single at 27?" I asked with a dry glare toward my half-sister.
She looked even more wronged until she sobered up as if nothing happened, shot me an annoyed look and asked, "Isn't it because they all fear you, Red Demon? As the only sibling of yours that you like, nobody dares to date me. You might have the newest generation wrapped around your finger, but all of us from the bloody mist era still know you as the fearsome executioner."
I looked at her with narrowed eyes for a short moment before flicking her forehead at the same exact spot as before and looking down the street from our position.
Uchiha Mikoto, accompanied by a scowling teenager who was likely her son Sasuke and two non-Uchiha shinobi who were likely there to monitor her, was making her way toward our position.
I held up my hand to order my sister to stop her banter and walked forward to meet the Uchiha matriarch.
"Mikoto-san, as radiant as ever," I greeted with a wink and Sasuke's perpetual frown instantly deepened.
But it vanished into incomprehension as he saw his mother bow and greet back saying, "Thank you for your timely warning, Terumi-sama."
Ah yes, I had warned them about Itachi's illness when I was in Konoha for the first time. We hadn't seen each other since then because I only dealt with either Tsunade or Jiraiya the last few times I was here.
Of course now the boy was a man and a rogue ninja, so it wasn't wise to talk about the matter out in the open in great detail. I waved away her thanks and changed the subject saying, "It was nothing. Please guide us to our residence for the remainder of our stay during the chūnin exam."
"Of course, Terumi-sama," Mikoto agreed with a heartfelt smile and gestured for us to follow him.
"Hey, Yoshi-nii," my sister whispered into my ear when our group started moving. "What the hell was that?"
My answer to her question? Another flick to the forehead for not knowing the place and time for such a question that quickly silenced my bothersome little sister.
Outside of my room, that I would share with the three other adults, Mikoto looked at me with her back turned towards her own entourage. She activated her three-tomoe sharingan and brought me into a genjutsu.
I calmly accepted the 'attack' and looked around.
"My apologies," Mikoto said as she appeared before me. I was bound to a tree. "I do not know another genjutsu that would allow me to talk to you without much time passing outside."
I nodded in understanding, doing nothing to free myself from the bindings. I could, but I didn't care to do so for many reasons, chief of which was that I was feeling lazy.
"What can I do for you Mikoto-chan?" I asked with a mischievous grin.
The mature woman rolled her eyes and explained, "Like I said before, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for urging us to bring Itachi to Tsunade-san. She did indeed find a rare and troublesome disease that would have likely meant an early end for my oldest son at a young age if left untreated."
I nodded, patting myself on the back in thought.
"Furthermore, I would like to remind you that I meant what I said during our last meeting. I owe you for this life-saving grace," Mikoto continued with a thin-lipped smile when she saw me not fully taking this situation seriously.
One of my hands broke free from the binding to wave away her concerns as I countered, "It was a whim. I didn't need anything in return." Looking at her with narrowed eyes, my tone dropped to a whisper as I continued, "Unless… you and your husband didn't answer me last time. Did you have a sister who is still single?"
Mikoto gave me a soft glare, huffed and turned around to tap her foot impatiently.
After what felt like a full minute passed, she turned around with an annoyed expression and aggrievedly exclaimed, "I have a cousin. Very pretty, but she is a widow and heavily wounded. Her husband fell four years ago against Kumo. She lost an eye and the use of an arm two months ago getting revenge. She is recuperating in our clan compound."
I was dumbfounded before I started laughing uproariously which only increased Mikoto's annoyance.
"She could use a good lay!" Mikoto defended with crossed arms as she glared at me. Using such crude language, however, made the usually proper clan matriarch gain a small blush. "And who knows? Maybe after getting distracted for a short while you will look at her ailments. You did say only Tsunade-san was a better medi nin than you, but Miko-chan is not important enough to be seen by the Sannin."
"Yeah, sure," I agreed with a wide smirk. "Tell her I'll treat her even if I don't get to bed her. This conversation is already payment enough."
"Hmph," Mikoto mouthed but gained a pleased grin. "I'm sure you have a way to get to our clan compound without alerting the entire kage-faction?"
I gasped and mockingly interjected, "You want me to do what? But that's illegal!"
Mikoto rolled her eyes and explained, "The tenth building to the left after walking the road past our gates. You will find me and Miko-chan there at midnight."
Immediately after, the Uchiha woman dispelled the genjutsu and gave me a little bow in the world outside.
"That concludes my duties, Terumi-sama," Mikoto pointed out and turned to leave.
"See you around," I shouted towards her and the other ninja following her with a wave.
Walking into my room, I looked at the nine other Kiri nin.
With mock seriousness, I explained, "I have a mission for all of you. It's life or death."
My cute little genin stiffened immediately, even my sister Himari looked at me without her usual frivolousness.
"The mission, should you accept, is to…," I let the suspense build, all of them leaned forward a little in anticipation, "follow me to Ichiraku Ramen. I'm starving. See: life or death."
My sister's immediate response was to jump at me, trying to choke me as she hung on my back and put me in a chokehold. Even Karin stepped forward and tried to kick me in the shin, but I sidestepped with a smirk and easily tossed Himari over to a bedroll.
"Chop-chop," I urged as I ignored the eyes that were rolled in my general direction. "Last to arrive has to pay for everyone."
I immediately body-flickered outside of the inn but then just started walking. I didn't need to needlessly provoke the ANBU guards watching us by disturbing the peace of Konoha with a foot chase.
After reaching the restaurant, I quickly noticed it only had five seats at the counter and two were already taken.
With a shrug I leaned through the 'noren' curtain cloth hanging at around chest height to give the customers some privacy to look at the chef and ordered, "Three of everything on the menu, boss."
"Oh?" 'Ichiraku' Teuchi mouthed but accepted just as quickly as I placed a thin stack of bills on his counter with a friendly grin. "Coming right up!"
Leaning back to my little genin, I ordered them to sit while sharing a seat with a partner and motioned for the other three to wait their time.
Just when I wanted to lean forward and look how my little genin would divide the first wave of food, one of the occupants called out, "It's you! The Uzumaki uncle!"
My head snapped toward the voice and my face broke into a wide grin.
"Little Naruto," I greeted warmly. "Out on a date?"
Both Naruto and the girl next to him immediately blushed a deep red, but Naruto waved his hands and explained, "No, no. This is just… a team meeting. Yes, a team meeting!"
I studied the boy and the girl 'seriously' for a short moment before tilting my head and asking, "Aren't there three genin in a team?"
My students began snickering, already used to my playful jabs and teasing.
When the girl's blush seemed to reach critical levels, I motioned to the six teenagers in front of me and introduced, "You're old enough to be attending the chūnin exams, right? These six cute little genin are the ones I brought to compete for Kiri. Please treat them well. Hopefully you give them a little challenge. They already think they've seen the world and know every genius."
My genin proudly smirked, especially one of the Kaguya girls, so I flicked her forehead and chided, "You're going to compete against genin. No matter how strong you think you are, you're still weak. On the battlefield, the enemies won't care to match you evenly by rank."
"Naruto-kun will win, no matter what," the Konoha girl suddenly interjected in a quiet voice.
I looked at her with a surprised expression before giving her a wide grin and praising, "Good instincts, Hyūga-chan. We Uzumaki are naturally very imposing."
Naruto's grin turned a little foolish, so I flicked his forehead, too, for good measure and reminded, "Don't be so prideful. Uzumaki are strong because we're resilient and hardworking."
With my head still poking through the curtain, I dragged my sister through the cloth without looking and pointed at her face while still holding Naruto's gaze. I introduced her by saying, "Look at this clueless cutie. She didn't become Kiri's best medi nin by boasting about her bloodline. She became the best because she is my sister." My students snickered but quickly shut up when Himari glared at them. "And, of course, I relentlessly tortur- I mean I relentlessly urged her to continue her training. Uzumaki Himari, meet Uzumaki Naruto and his cute girlfriend, Hyūga-chan."
"Yo," Himari greeted with a peace sign despite the awkward position I put her in, but quickly noticed a peculiar detail. That Hyūga girl had a towering stack of empty bowls sitting in front of her. "Amazing appetite. You must be a pretty decent taijutsu ninja."
Hyūga Hinata didn't know what was happening anymore. Her blush was extreme enough for her to pretty much almost emit steam, but so many things were revealed, so much information shared that she really needed to keep in mind for the upcoming exams…
"Could you please tease me instead of Hinata-chan?" Naruto suddenly pleaded with a wry smile. Hinata looked like she was on the verge of fainting immediately.
"Sure," I agreed and used a hand to make my sister bow her head in apology instead of doing it myself. "Need me to pay your tab as compensation?"
Hinata hastily shook her head, but Naruto quickly agreed and shouted, "Teuchi-san, three more bowls for me and Hinata-chan! An extra egg for each bowl for me please! This uncle said he'd pay for us today!"
With an uncaring grin, I placed another thin stack of bills on the counter for the restaurant's owner and he flashed me a blinding smile as he leaned back from the kitchen while handling a huge pan filled with noodles.
"Yosha! Coming right up, customer-sama!"
It didn't escape my notice that Naruto was already measuring each of the Kiri genin despite playfully talking to Hinata. But he didn't notice that Himari escaped my hold and leaned back through the curtain just behind Naruto.
When he noticed the face just beside his head, he was about to jump out of his skin, but the nine-tails jinchūriki managed to keep it together. He did yelp in fright when Karin, another fellow Uzumaki, suddenly appeared on his other side to copy her sensei.
"That's Uzumaki Karin," I introduced unhurriedly. "She's a few months older than you. Oh, and she's already a jōnin as well as my sister's disciple."
My sister studied the nine-tails jinchūriki's shocked face deeply and mumbled, "You're good-looking enough. Cute whiskers."
Naruto blushed a little, apparently weak to praise, but just as quickly faltered as Himari looked at his hair and pointed out, "Very weird hair color for an Uzumaki, though. Your dad must have had strong genes."
'Strong everything, really,' I added in my thoughts as I looked on with an amused grin.
The Konoha ANBU keeping an eye on our group and the ones guarding Naruto must be having an aneurysm at our much-too-friendly interaction.
Himari poked Naruto's arms and he flinched away with a startled 'hey!', but my sister ignored his protest and did the same to Hinata, who looked thoroughly confused and out of it.
"Your muscle density is fine, but you could both still use a little work," my sister calmly diagnosed and turned to me while deeply thinking.
I shook my head, denying her implied question on whether or not I would feed them pills… right here and now.
Five minutes later, we were joined by Jiraiya who tried to flirt with my sister, then with Fuen, and struck out both times. He then hastily dragged Naruto and Hinata away with a random excuse, putting those extra bowls each they were unable to eat on a tab for later consumption, and allowed us to enjoy our meal while fully occupying Ichiraku with just us Kiri nin.
As I ate with Fuen sitting on my lap, Karin, who was next to me sitting on my sister's lap suddenly leaned closer and asked in a quiet voice, "He felt really, really strong. Is it possible that Kiri won't get first place this year?"
I shrugged, uncaring of the placement of my students as long as they survived. Two of them had a small chance of beating Naruto if he couldn't yet use Kurama to his advantage while the other four would lose no question asked… but I banked on the fact that we wouldn't even see the finals because of Orochimaru.
"Even if they do lose, I'd rather they do it during the exam and learn a lesson instead of losing their life on a mission," I answered quietly.