ELISE
Three days. I had only three days to convince myself that I was doing the right thing… that I had no other choice.
To distract myself from my thoughts, after Samantha left, I started cleaning the house. I scrubbed everything as if I was trying to punish myself… for something I hadn't even done yet.
My hands were burning. My back ached. But I didn't stop. I wanted to exhaust myself so much that I wouldn't even be able to think.
But that night, when I lay down, everything came back.
Hours passed… and I was still stuck on the same thought.
"I can't do this."
But then another voice would answer:
"You don't have a choice."
I closed my eyes, but the voices wouldn't stop. I didn't sleep for a single minute that night.
At dawn, Samantha came back. As soon as she walked in, she looked around in surprise.
"I think I'm in the wrong house… is this mine?"
I laughed.
I walked into the living room.
"Did I wake you?" she asked.
"No," I shook my head. "I didn't sleep."
"How did you even manage all this?" she pointed at the room.
"I had nothing else to do."
"You're still thinking about it, aren't you?"
I didn't answer.
What was I supposed to say?
She sat down on the couch.
"It's always hard the first time. Then you get used to it."
Her voice was so casual… like there was nothing wrong with it.
"You're very beautiful. You can make a lot of money with your looks," she said, scanning me.
Even hearing that made my stomach turn. I couldn't become that kind of person.
That evening, Samantha came into my room holding a few bags.
"Wear this," she said, placing an overly revealing red dress on the bed.
On the third day… everything became real.
From the morning, I couldn't sit still. I couldn't eat. I couldn't think. There was only one feeling inside me—
Fear.
That evening, Samantha did my makeup.
"You look so beautiful!" she said in the end.
I stared at myself in the mirror…
"Are you ready?" she asked.
I'm not. I never will be.
But I nodded anyway.
I sat silently in the car. My hands were shaking. I closed my eyes… and immediately saw them.
The children…
The car stopped in front of a huge hotel. We went inside. Everything was too beautiful… too unfamiliar for me.
"You'll go alone from here," Samantha said, placing the room key in my hand.
I nodded.
"Room 1708."
I stared at the key for a few seconds.
I stood alone in the elevator, watching my reflection in the mirror. The doors opened, and I stepped into an empty hallway. The sound of my footsteps echoed.
Room 1708.
I stopped in front of the door. My heart was pounding so hard it felt like it would burst. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath… and opened it.
He was sitting in an armchair, staring at me.
His gaze didn't leave me, like he was searching for something inside me. I felt extremely uncomfortable, sitting there half-naked, not knowing what part of my body to cover.
"You can lie down. I'll take a shower," he said and walked into the bathroom.
Why is he dragging this out? I'd rather get this over with and leave as soon as possible. I'm emotionally drained.
I lay down on the bed, covering myself with the sheet. I closed my eyes, trying to pretend I was home… that nothing had happened… that tomorrow would be just another normal day.
The bathroom door opened.
I heard his footsteps, but I didn't open my eyes.
He lay down beside me.
He brushed his thumb across my face… and stopped where my mole is, near my eye.
I flinched and opened my eyes immediately.
He was wearing a white robe, lying on his side, supporting himself with one arm, the other still touching my face.
I closed my eyes again, feeling uncomfortable.
Then he gently ran his hand through my hair… again and again.
Slowly… I relaxed.
The tension faded.
For a moment… I felt safe.
But suddenly, I remembered Nick.
He used to do the same thing when I was little—stroke my hair, calm me down. He was the closest person I had… and he forgot me. He left me.
Tears filled my eyes.
"Stop!" I shouted without thinking, opening my eyes.
"Are you okay?" he asked, surprised.
I couldn't answer. I got up from the bed, my vision blurred. I tried to calm myself, taking a few deep breaths. He watched my every move.
"Can we just do what I came here for?" I said. "I want to leave quickly…" I whispered, but I think he heard me.
"I'm not planning to do anything today," he said, resting his head on the pillow.
"What? Why?" I blurted out.
"What is it… do you have another client waiting?" he said, annoyed.
I froze.
Those words… they were unbearable.
I couldn't say anything.
I can't take any more today…
Tears started falling. I quickly grabbed my coat and rushed toward the door.
"Where are you going? Stop!" he shouted.
I opened the door and ran.
I took the elevator down to the first floor and rushed toward the exit.
It was night. Maybe 3 or 4 a.m. I didn't even know where I was or how to get back to Samantha's house. The tears kept coming.
A taxi stopped in front of the hotel. A passenger got out. I approached the driver and told him the address.
"Will you take me for $15? That's all I have."
He looked at me for a few seconds… then nodded.
"Get in."
As soon as I got in, heavy rain started pouring.
After about ten minutes, we arrived at Samantha's house. I handed him the money.
"Thank you," I said and got out.
I rang the doorbell several times. Loud music was playing inside.
The door opened. A half-naked man stood there.
"Samantha! Your friend is here!" he shouted and walked back inside.
I stepped in.
The living room smelled strongly of alcohol and cigarettes. Samantha was kissing some man… it was disgusting.
I hurried toward my room.
Suddenly, someone slapped me on the butt. I froze and turned around.
"Where are you going?" the man who opened the door asked. He was so drunk he could barely keep his eyes open.
"Leave me alone!" I said and ran toward the room.
I tried to get inside and lock the door, but he grabbed my hair and pulled me back.
"Let me go! Samantha, help me!" I screamed.
She didn't even look at me.
I gathered all my strength and hit him hard. He stumbled and fell to the floor.
I ran toward the front door.
My heart was pounding so hard it felt like it would explode. I could barely breathe.
I knew I was having a panic attack.
But I didn't stop.
I opened the door…
…and ran outside.