Even if Tao Hua tried to pull his head back, away from the closeness of their breath, there was no budging. Shan Si kept it held there firmly, and he kept it still between the two until Tao Hua finally replied.
Swallowing his panic and side-glancing away, he asked, "What's…on your mind?"
What he really wanted to ask was, Are you reading my mind?!
He had to, right?! This was all too eerily similar to his prior monologue of overthinking tendencies.
But that was too unrealistic. Though Tao Hua was still naive in many ways, he was also sharp enough to know what it meant when someone was seconds close to another's mouth. He'd been through this before.
So, he clamped his eyes shut, preparing for what that heavy breath, just pushing past his lips, meant. If this was what he was thinking, then his preparations were god awful—he thinned his lips, nearly sucking them inward, trying to keep himself calm, despite his trembling shoulders and shaking hands.
It just made Shan Si breathe a laugh. He pouted as if he were a child, teasingly saying, "You know, I also don't like being left behind. It's not fair."
"What?" That made Tao Hua's eyes spring open, and he stared ahead at Shan Si's knowing smile, dumbfounded for many reasons. First, since when did Shan Si ever care about what others were doing, and secondly, "Since when…do I leave you behind?"
"Many times," Shan Si said without even a hint of sincerity. "Too much for this heart to take."
Tao Hua's brows pressed in. Inconceivable! He remained disorientated, lost in the other's blatant claims. But before any of the guilt could surge, Shan Si merely just continued.
And the world still spun counterclockwise.
"You never really tell me what's going on in that head of yours. What am I supposed to do? You know I've always been so curious about you." Body pressed against Tao Hua's back, Shan Si leaned his neck in closer, lips just about brushing Tao Hua's. "Do you really think I couldn't tell?"
It was all truths, from the first day they met! Not to mention Tao Hua wasn't a good liar, nor could he conceal much of his emotions.
Frazzled, Tao Hua blurted, "I…I'm sor—!!"
However, he couldn't even utter a single word, not when his lips were covered. And by a kiss, no less! A quick and swift one, too.
As soon as they parted, Tao Hua was left more lost than he'd been initially, his body temperature rising.
There were no more words! Only a man in complete shell-shock!
Staring up at Shan Si, his eyes shifted back and forth, trying to find the joke in those pale eyes.
"I want to know everything on your mind, good or bad." Shan Si placed another kiss on Tao Hua's lips, taking advantage of his current state. The second, and yet still not returned, as the victim was in a complete state of disarray, his lips trembling, and hands clutched tightly onto his arms.
To make this easier, Shan Si turned Tao Hua around, his palms pressed to the man's flushed cheeks, fingers grazing just above his ear and through his hair. "So, stop leaving me out, all right?"
It was another pang of guilt. "I'm really sor—!"
Again! Shan Si blocked off his words with another hasty kiss, pulling forward his face and squashing in his cheeks. How was he supposed to speak?! It was all…so…overwhelming.
And this time? There was nothing for him to blame; it was all being done out of personal want and desire.
"You know, Tao Hua…" As Shan Si took a step forward, forcing Tao Hua to take one back. From the corner of his eye, he could see the baseboards now in few. Why he panicked, he still wasn't sure, but his heart rate had increased a thousandfold that day. "I've lived for so long—two hundred years long—that's too long; it also sucked. But I've finally met something that made life worth living."
Shan Si smiled, his thumbs pushing in Tao Hua's cheeks gleefully. "This thing on my mind…I really couldn't get rid of it, and trust me, I've tried. Do you know what it is? The thing on my mind that makes life worth living, Tao Hua?"
Like a drop of water falling into a bucket, Tao Hua's heart thumped and his entire face fell. All he could see was the genuine smile of the man ahead of him, even through all the fog and difficulty steadying his eyes.
His voice fell into a whisper, one that would crack the moment he asked, "W-What?"
"A Little Flower, one that's so unaware of it's own beauty, it allows other flowers to drain it of it's pigment. But I don't like that. Do you know why?"
Tao Hua just shook his head, still absorbed in his own stupor.
"You don't? What a shame."
Another kiss on Tao Hua's lips, just before he could even utter a single word.
"Because I'm quite fond of the colour blue, and I don't like seeing people try to wash it out, and I especially don't like watching as other's touch what's mine," Shan Si said, staring down at the poor soul in his arms, panting and for once he was the one unable to read this man's expression. Rather than his pale white eyes, Tao Hua's were settled on his lips, becoming more and more impatient.
But he didn't get another kiss this time. Why?
"So, have you figured it out yet?" Shan Si asked.
There was still no kiss, and at this point Tao Hua's lips were burning with anticipation.
"What's been on my mi—"
Nails hooked into the plain fabric of Shan Si's arms, Tao Hua stood on his toes, and with the force of all his might—which wasn't much—he nearly rammed his head into Shan Si's, overcome with the urge to return the kiss this time.
If Shan Si wasn't going to do it, then someone had to, okay?! Clumsy actions and all, this little flower had to learn one way or another!
And, as usual, one thing led to another.
Slammed against the wall, Shan Si locked Tao Hua in place, his chest pressed against Tao Hua's. He twisted his head, his tongue protruding past, enough to overwhelm the one who couldn't fight back. It was as if he were being suffocated, a weakness that vibrated through his body, urging him to just let go and give in.
To keep himself steady, Tao Hua's hands fumbled. One latched onto the side of Shan Si's shoulders, and the other slapped against the wall the moment his head tilted back. His fingers slid along the wood of the wall, slipping with each attempt to keep them there and leaving behind trails of sweat.
Shan Si was like a weight to Tao Hua, completely overpowering him, and the more he pushed against him, deepening that kiss, the heavier Tao Hua became. His eyes lulled, and mind fogged between each stifled breath he could catch between the kisses.
But it ended as soon as it started, leaving Tao Hua a flushed mess of panting and weak knees.
As soon as Shan Si pulled back, eyes bored into the hazy complexion, that's when reality gradually hit Tao Hua square in the face.
"Well," Shan Si smiled cheekily. "I guess I now know what's been on your mind."
Tao Hua gasped loudly, his eyes wider than the moon, before making the decision to shove Shan Si back and slip out.
The embarrassment on his face practically covered his whole body, so all he could do was frantically act busy until he realised something awful. There was nothing for him to fiddle with.
Oh, the humanity.
So, in his state of utter chaos, he ran for the bed, grabbed the covers, and cocooned himself under them. Backside to the pillows, and head toward the end. He'd created a hill out of nowhere under those sheets, burrowing himself like the small rabbit he was.
All Shan Si could do was watch this, his brow arched, his expression completely satisfied with what he'd created.
As the steps approached the bed, closer and closer, Tao Hua wrinkled the sheets wrapped around his fists, under his chin, the heat within the blanket sweltering him into a sweaty mess.
Then, he jolted just as a hand patted his back.
"You'll just have to get used to it, Tao Hua," Shan Si jested, but his movements were gentle and sweet. "I'm not stopping now that we've started."
Still, Tao Hua sank further into that bed, his bangs messily stranded against the sheets. Muffled and quiet, he asked, "Can you get the bath ready?"
"Oh?" Shan Si cocked his head, that oh-so-sweet hand of his further down Tao Hua's back. "Bathing together, so soon? You work fast."
"No!" Tao Hua cried. He wasn't opposed to the idea, rather, just scared. "We'll take turns!"
This entertained Shan SI greatly, but he was fine; eventually he'd get what he wanted. Still rubbing, Shan Si stopped just above Tao Hua's ass, forcing Tao Hua's breath to hitch entirely and curl into himself.
"Bath!" he demanded in a voice that wasn't actually all that terrifying. Cute, maybe. It lowered until becoming small. "Please. Bath. Please."
"Only if you answer one question." Shan Si said, curving his fingers.
Tao Hua squeezed his eyes shut. "W-What?"
The feeling of Shan Si's fingers curling was far too close for comfort, something Tao Hua wasn't at all used to. He could feel himself shudder with each passive movement. Ugh!
"Did you like it?" Shan Si asked, a single finger extending, ruffling the fabric on Tao Hua's backside, then tightening it as if threatening. "Did you like kissing me?"
A cold chill ran up Tao Hua's spine, and in the smallest possible voice—lest he let out an unwelcome sound—he croaked, "I did…I really like it."
Then, to Tao Hua's surprise, Shan Si ripped the covers off and placed a hand on his shoulder. He pushed him up to his knees, quick in his actions, and placed yet another kiss against Tao Hua's lips.
Each time, Tao Hua found it tasted better and better. It was like getting drunk! Fuck!
He now had experience with that, too.
"Good answer. I did too," Shan Si hummed happily through another kiss, brushing back the loose strands of Tao Hua's hair. "All right, all right. A bath for the Madam. Anything else?"
Tao Hua just shook his head, his hands now bundling up the blankets that had been so evilly torn away from him. "That's all…just a bath"
And before Shan Si got up, he repeated his actions with another. It was slower, his hand gently caressing behind Tao Hua's ear. What a shame they had to part.
Rising to his feet and heading for the door, Shan Si twisted the handle, but turned to Tao Hua's frenzied state before swinging it open.
"Just so you know…this means I can do whatever I want from here on out, Tao Hua. You understand that, right? I won't be holding back anymore," he smiled, one foot out the door. "You're a smart man; I'm sure you get it. I'll be back."
And as he left, Tao Hua just stared as the door shut, the steam rising with each small realisation finally flooding back to him. He couldn't hold that bundle of sheets closer if he tried.
Chapter end.