Exhaling, Shan Si shook his head, pressing his fingers against his eyes. "She'll get over it; this isn't anything new. When the time comes, and we need her, she'll be there."
He turned to look at Tao Hua, but it appeared he wasn't fully there, and instead he was mouthing a few words.
"Tao Hua?"
"I messed up," Tao Hua frowned, so much so it dimpled at the creases. "Fang Jian explained her connection with Daoist Master Zhuan, and I didn't think once about how it would make her feel. All I do is cause issues."
Watching Tao Hua try to blame himself over words that weren't ever once Sahn Si's, he couldn't take it any longer. He leaned down, grabbed Tao Hua's hands, and brought him back onto the bed, making himself comfortable in the process.
"You're too kind. People who can't see the faults in themselves are often threatened by kindness," Shan Si said, pulling Tao Hua in between his legs. "Vent to your heart's content. I'm listening."
For the next while, the two simply lounged on the daybed. Shan Si had his back against the wall, arms around Tao Hua's waist, chin on his shoulder, and holding his hands right-side up.
Tao Hua was a complete mess for the first half, repeating the same things one after another. He kept over-explaining what happened back in Wan Mie's study and why he thought to bring up Zhuan.
Repeatedly, he assured Shan Si that it was only a slight suspicion and nothing more.
Although it pained Shan Si to see this and he chose to trust Tao Hua's account above all, there was also a part of him that felt a strange bit of satisfaction that Tao Hua relied on him so much. It caused him to nestle in closer, as if trying to consume him whole with a hug.
The other benefit was that the more Tao Hua re-explained things, the more he painted a clear picture of the situation back in Wan Mie's study.
However, Shan Si kept things simple regardless of his growing possessiveness, and along the palms of Tao Hua's hands, he rubbed his thumb in circular motions.
Certainly, he knew there was no one else who could do the same for Tao Hua.
He kept this up until he finally felt Tao Hua's breathing had begun to regulate. As soon as he was certain, Shan Si carefully removed himself from Tao Hua, sliding toward the edge of the bed and shuffling his hand in his arm.
Because of this, Tao Hua's back flopped back, and twisting his torso to the side, he pressed his hand against the mat and stared up at Shan Si's back.
"What are you doing?"
"There's still a lot we need to discuss," Shan Si began, pulling out what looked to be the clay jar given to him by Wu Mi. "But I think it would be better after you've taken your medicine."
Holding it up, he tried to read the characters on it, but it was damn near impossible. He made out something along the lines of "antidote" and "soul."
"Wu Mi…elegant, but cannot write." He shook his head before popping it open and taking a sniff. Recoiling, he shoved it away from his nose. "Yup. It'll work."
Tao Hua pushed himself up onto his knees, crawling toward Shan Si and looking up at the jar in his hands.
"What is it?"
"Given that it's Wu Mi, likely a cure for whatever you're dealing with."
So it was an elixir…Tao Hua was shocked that Wu Mi was capable of such things. However, it was still Wu Mi, which posed other issues.
Somewhat concerned, Tao Hua carefully approached the topic with the understanding that the elixir was made by someone who wasn't at all fond of him.
"How do we know it'll work?" he asked apprehensively.
"Well, we don't, but I'm willing to bet there's a chance it will. The problem is, we still don't know exactly what happened, who's really to blame, or the cause. But if there's one thing I'm confident in, it's that Wu Mi is the most talented cultivator in the arts of healing, trained by Zhuan," Shan Si passed the bottle to Tao Hua. "She's nothing compared to Wan Mie in the trade of alchemy, but she knows more on healing than he ever will, and specialises in antidotes. Wan Mie loves to harm, Wu Mi heals. Got it?"
Blinking, Tao Hua was shocked. However, the more he thought about Fang Jian's explanations, the more it started to make sense. And given she was associated in their temple meetings, she had to have something to offer.
Tao Hua stared down at the jar, overcome with a bit of grief. "She did this for me?"
"That she did."
"…" Tao Hua still didn't take the jar, his eyes cast away from it.
"Your comment about Zhuan is warranted. It's okay, Tao Hua. Wu Mi may complain about biases, but she's fully subjected to them herself and can't accept when people like Zhuan are capable of mistakes. Pay her not even a second of your troubles."
"But I thought you felt the same about Daoist Master Zhuan?" Tao Hua took the jar from Shan Si, reading it. "Warm…or something."
"She's someone I look up to, yes, but let's say Wan Mie is fully in the clear and onto something…then wouldn't it be better to be realistic? I mean…I hope it's not true as much as I hope Wan Mie is just being a moronic, sadistic idiot, but what do we know unless we pick up the pieces leftover?"
"Zhuan is dead, and Wan Mie…well, he's not you," Shan Si reassured him, reaching his hand over and pushing aside a strand of hair. "Having you weigh in on things…it's a breath of fresh air compared to the other two. I quite like that side of you, so let's not allow one miserable woman or an old man with a bad back and broken core change that. I'm not asking."
"I…guess so."
Tao Hua smiled timidly at him, his cheeks a light pink before taking a whiff of the jar as well, just as Shan Si watched him.
Which was a massive mistake. From the smile to all the colour in his face, it all got switched out for a twisted look of disgust.
Tao Hua shoved that jar as far away as possible from his face. Eyes watering, he helplessly looked up at Shan Si for an answer and maybe a bit of a plea, but all Shan Si did was offer him a knowing smile and a shrug.
"Gotta drink it."
Tao Hua reluctantly observed the bottle, and it was clear he wanted to be as far away from it as possible. "But…"
"All right, all right. If I have to. Here—" Shan Si reached over to grab the jar, picking it up by the mouth. Crawling fully onto the bed and toward Tao Hua, he placed a hand against Tao Hua's shoulder, pushing him back toward the mat.
"Do you want to drink it? That's option one," he asked.
Tao Hua lay there, first staring up at Shan Si who knelt above him, his chest vibrating. But when he looked at the liquid, all of that confusing excitement changed.
He didn't want it. No thanks! Disgusting! Gross! Ew!
"Yes or no?"
"…I don't want to."
"All right, so theeeeen…" Shan Si didn't seem at all bothered with Tao Hua's reluctance, which made his reaction evermore odd. "Shall we go with option two?"
Unable to read his intentions, Tao Hua's face wrinkled at both the scent of the elixir that was far too close and the smile on Shan SI's face. It was that same damn game again! The one Tao Hua was fully weak to, each and every time.
And just after he'd spiralled?! This man was too much.
"How can I make a choice if I don't know the second option?"
"That's where you need to trust me," Shan Si stated, his hand grazing down Tao Hua's arm and winding behind his back. Pulled closer to both the elixir and Shan Si, Tao Hua's entire face cringed in complexity.
It was as if the intoxicating scent of Shan Si and the disgusting scent of the elixir fought for seniority. However, at the mention of trust, Tao Hua's expression fell.
"I…trust you," he said, reaching his hand up to the elixir. After all that happened, he had to prove there was a part of him that devoted himself.
But! To his shocked, Shan Si swiftly pulled it away.
"Ah, ah! But do you, Tao Hua?" Shan Si asked. "Then why all lies? It was fine when we barely knew each other back in Siyue Town…but here I thought we were forming something special."
Despite it being said with playful endeavour, Tao Hua's chest still constricted. "I…I planned to tell you everything, but I was scared."
Tilting his head and offering Tao Hua the smallest pout, Shan SI asked, "That I'd leave? Because if I remember correctly, I promise you I'd never leave."
No response, Tao Hua just looked away with guilt.
"Or do you believe that old man's nonsense? Have I not proven to you that neither of those is true?" Shan Si tightened his arm around Tao Hua's waist, holding up the elixir. There was a look in his eyes, one that felt as those pale eyes could peer tunnels into Tao Hua's soul.
Tao Hua wasn't sure what to do about it, so he anxiously turned his head away, but Shan Si took advantage of this. He bent closer to Tao Hua, enough that the steam of his breath could enchant his ear red.
"Do I really have to repeat myself? 'From now on, you're to only listen to me. Look and treat me like I'm the only thing that matters.' Whatever happened to that?"
In such a serious matter, Tao Hua was already starting to feel himself grow more and more restless, his breath slowing down and feet impatiently pushing against the mat and drawing back in like a wave.
Reaching his hands up, he weakly pressed them against Shan Si's upper arms and tried to tilt his head away from the heated assault of words.
"Do you understand, Tao Hua?" Shan Si positioned Tao Hua's waist up, enough to wrap himself in the other's legs, shoving up the blue fabric. "Or do I need to repeat myself just so that you do?"
"I-I do…" Tao Hua whimpered slightly. His eyebrows twitched at the slightest grunt, especially with how close Shan Si was pushing toward him. It was to the point there really wasn't any real estate left between either waist.
When he glanced down between the two, his face lit a bright, vibrant red. It wasn't appropriate, to say the least, with Tao Hua's legs elevated by Shan Si's thighs, and the skirt of his robe pushed up just a bit too far for comfort.
However, it was pinned between his legs by that which mirrored Tao Hua's current state. Even worse! Did he have to push against it so much?! Tao Hua was in agony, to the point of nearly biting the skin off his lower lip.
"So, option two then?" Shan Si asked, his smile impishly wisped upward, his hand arching Tao Hua's back, enough to press together the lapels of their robes, and adding more and more pressure to the problem.
Tao Hua opened his mouth, prepared to ask about whatever option two was; however, all that came out was the smallest, most helpless breath. Anymore, and he was afraid of what other noises would escape. So, he flattened his lips shut and simply nodded his head.
"Good. I need you to promise me that no matter what, you won't hate me." Shan Si smiled. "Okay?"
"…What?" Brows furrowed, Tao Hua felt a weight lift off his chest just as Shan Si pulled back, sitting upright, and awkwardly between his legs. Tao Hua leveraged his own elbows to lean up; his eyes were fixated on their position. When he finally registered Shan Si's choice of words, his head darted up to look at him, hurriedly shouting, "I'd never hate you!—"
He was cut off with the image of Shan Si drinking the god-awful, terribly smelling, absolutely disgusting elixir without even a single expression on his face.
Stone-cold, not even bothered by that horrendous thing!
Dumbfounded, Tao Hua didn't think and only reacted, trying to reach for the elixir and shouting, "H-How is that supposed to work—mmf!"
And before he knew it, his back was shoved against the mat by a heavier build, pressing against him. He couldn't move, crawl out, or do anything. He was stuck there, too stunned to even try to flee.
Staring up, wide-eyed, until his they watered helplessly, Tao Hua met a pair of pale eyes closer than ever. The bitter taste of the liquid ran down his flushed cheek, dripping off the side of his jaw and puddling onto the mat.
But none of that mattered, even if he rolled onto it. His mind was falling into a daze best described as pure want and desire. Further and further, Tao Hua's head was carefully angled, and he was unable to breathe.
One of his hands shook, making its way toward Shan Si's back, and the other desperately clutched onto Shan Si's sleeves, his fingers clawing into the fabric.
He didn't protest to any of Shan Si's actions and clutched onto him defenselessly, giving into the lips pressed against his, his eyes slowly falling until shut.
He remained lying weak against the mat as Shan Si administered the liquid, consumed by the scent he'd been obsessed with for months, completely and utterly engrossed with the man atop him.
Figuratively and literally.
Chapter end.
ILLUSTRATION IN THE COMMENTS! There will be a few, I was experimenting. It's not a one-for-one of the scene, this was drawn before it was written, but it works! I think!