Just as dinner preparations were underway, Shan Si and Tao Hua were sat ahead their own table, one facing the other. Shan Si reluctantly immersed himself in the pile of documents Qian Jue had placed on his table not long after his return.
The wraps on his hands remained. Tao Hua wanted to ask the reason behind it, but each time it was brought up, Shan Si just waved it off as "It's normal." So, there was no choice but to drop the topic and trust his words as gospel, given the victim didn't seem bothered by them.
What had changed, however, was his apparel.
Rather than the tightly fitted guard's uniform from earlier, Shan Si lounged in a thin silk housecoat and an outfit similar to the one he dressed Tao Hua in at the Martial Hall. The only difference was that it actually suited his frame perfectly.
In hindsight, this man was the ideal slacker. Nothing about his posture, expression, or clothes screamed "Lordship," nor was it appropriate for a dinner setting.
But Shan Si didn't seem to give a shit, truly. He had his elbow propped on the table, his fist squashed into his cheek, and a leg extended straight onto the red and gold rug below the two. The other was positioned just high enough to support his paper-filled hand.
And whatever information those documents held, he wasn't in the slightest amused.
The corner of his mouth lifted into a scowl, flipping through the pile of papers. Given how quickly he moved past each, it was evident he was only skimming rather than reading, and once done, they'd be crumpled up and tossed behind him into an ever-growing mess of paper balls.
Tao Hua watched, his head following the paper in the air, and toward the ground each time. Neither said a word during this, and it didn't help Tao Hua's racing heart in the slightest.
Am I just awkward or am I still angry? He pondered, leaning toward his table, eyes cast up and toward Shan Si's scornful focus. There was the smallest pout on his lips, and the more he thought about what Shan Si had called him, the less he could control flushed expression. It extended as far as his ears. No…it's not anger.
He glanced away from Shan Si and toward his table, resting his chin against the wood.
I had so many things I wanted to ask him, and now I can't think up a single thing—am I just going to waste what little time we have together? Though… Tao Hua's lids lowered, and he peered over at the bed. Some of them were answered. I'm probably just being impati—
Thwack!
Something smacked Tao Hua, bouncing off his head.
Blinking, he lifted his eyes to find a crumpled-up ball of paper rolling between the two tables. The culprit? A very expressionless man staring right at him.
"We haven't eaten yet and you're already falling asleep?" asked Shan Si. "Not very dignified for a Young Master."
Tao Hua immediately straightened up and tidied his hair at once, looking quite bashful. He cheekily smiled before glaring down at the table. Great. Good going, Tao Hua!
It didn't occur to him once that Shan Si was messing around or being playful. He placed the documents back down onto the table, and with eyes half-lidded, watched as Tao Hua awkwardly squirmed amid his overthinking.
"You had no problem speaking my ear off this morning; what happened?"
Tao Hua went as still as a statue. After a moment of his inward reservation, he lied, "I figured you wanted to focus on…the things you were focusing on."
Shan Si picked up the papers. "These?"
One look up, a nod, and then straight back to staring at the table.
"Fuck 'em. I need an excuse anyhow." Shan Si slapped the thin pile back onto the table. "Nothing's more annoying than the simple-minded complaints of those still in the palace. 'My Lord, there's a problem with cats. My Lord, the palace is too drafty. My Lord, I'm bored.' It's so repetitive and annoying—can't they just be happy to have shelter and food?!"
Popeyed, Tao Hua listened to Shan Si complain, droning on about each document read. For someone who wanted to avoid the documents, he surely spoke a lot about them.
Thinking back to the conversation with Qian Jue, just as Shan Si continued to ramble, something immediately came to mind. So, Tao Hua awkwardly interrupted Shan Si.
It took him a few tries, but eventually he just blurted out, "W-What about you?!"
Nurture and care. This was Tao Hua's fumbling attempt at doing just that, and he worded it so poorly it almost sounded angry.
Inhaling, he added, "Um, I mean…how are you doing? Or, uh—are you comfortable?"
He wanted to just fall dead, floundering against his diffidence.
Well, now it was Shan Si's turn to become speechless. He stared at Tao Hua, as if Tao Hua had said the most absurd thing ever, before turning his head away and placing his fist on his cheek. It wasn't long before he replied, speaking indifferently, "What does it matter?"
"Oh…yes, okay. Sorry."
Failed! Tao Hua completely and utterly failed at initiating said "third option."
Shan Si glanced up at Tao Hua, just as Tao Hua's shoulders tightened, his hands positioned on his lap and clenching the fabric atop them.
So, letting out a struggled sigh, Shan Si finally admitted, "I should have handled the situation better."
Now, Tao Hua was confused.
Situation? His brows furrowed at Shan Si's complicated expression, as if responsibility was a new and awful concept to him, as hard as a boulder. Yet, Tao Hua still couldn't seem to understand exactly what it was he meant.
What situation is he talking about?
Then that boulder finally hit him, and quickly so.
Is...he referring to Weng Jing from the Martial Hall?
The conversation with Qian Jue technically cleared things up, but it was only now occurring to Tao Hua that Shan Si wasn't a part of such discussion.
How would he know?
"If it makes you happy, I didn't go that hard on him. So he'll be fine," Shan Si said, staring at his nails. He let out a taunting, low laugh, both pleased and annoyed with his thoughts. In a shameless manner, he added, "Now you don't have to worry. He understands the rule, and he understands it crystal clear.
His thumb traced along the gauze, intently focused on its Tao Hua observed cautiously, offering him no response in return, and it was only a matter of time until his expression twisted into another menacing smile, his thumb pressed right into the gauze.
"No more dimwitted priest sputtering foolish delusions in your ear. No more Daoist Master Zhuan this, or Daoist Master Zhuan that nonsense. Hah, should have seen the look on his face—priceless."
"…" Tao Hua carefully asked, "What did you do to him?"
"What did I do? Just tie me up and flog me if you're going to interrogate me." Shan Si held out his hands, palms upright, and shrugged. "As men, there are a few things we treasure about our bodies, filial piety and all. He lost one of those today."
Tao Hua's face contorted with disbelief, causing Shan Si to drop his smirk.
"Calm down, it's not that." Though it was clear he wanted to, nonetheless, Shan Si had some humanity left.
"To his shoulders." Lifting his hand, he pointed at his ponytail. "Burnt it off as he wailed. Pray the heavens bestow him fast growth just so I can do it again."
Toward the gauze, Tao Hua squinted his eyes. Then why the bandages if that's all that was done?
Shan Si's expression flattened at Tao Hua's contemplation.
"You're welcome."
What sounded like an apology ended up as self-praise. Tao Hua wasn't sure what to think of the situation, but his heart nearly skipped a beat in the oddest way.
Why go so far for someone like him?
It was mentioned that his typical punishments were far more drastic than what Tao Hua initially thought would be done, but to only chop off his hair?
The realization hit Tao Hua quite hard. Shan Si not only did this in his honour but also took a step back just to reassure him.
Even if it was said with a dash of impish intent, Tao Hua couldn't seem to shake the butterflies tearing apart his stomach.
"Oh…" He offered him a clumsy smiled, shifting his attention elsewhere--anywhere but Shan Si. "Thank you, but you didn't have—"
"But I did," Shan Si said, causing Tao Hua to cease his fawning session and freeze entirely. "You can't keep letting people do these things to you. Morons like the Daoist Bastard thrive off doormat behaviour and they won't stop unless faced with extreme consequences. So I did that and offered him the extreme consequence, arguably kinder."
The guilt began to rush in like a flash flood, embracing Tao Hua wholly.
"I don't get it, Tao Hua..." It was exactly what he had said back in the Martial Hall, repeated with the same amount of hurt. "You didn't have a problem telling me to piss off, why not him?"
Huh..? Is he…no, he can't be. He looked back up at Shan Si again, and that guilt began to twist upon seeing his challenging expression. Is he still hurt from what I said in Buzhi Forest?
Tao Hua closely observed, but couldn't quite decipher the intentions behind what he said; this man remained as blank as a brand-new sheet of paper.
There was only one way Tao Hua knew how to remedy the situation, and it was one he'd practiced many times before.
A true professional at saying the words, "I'm sorry."
Shan Si paused, looking up at the man who seemed to shoulder every ounce of responsibility. Before he knew it, he was squeezing his eyes shut and pinching the bridge of his nose.
"No, no, don't…it's—whatever. It's done and dealt with." Rubbing his hand down his face, Shan Si hesitated a bit before darkly adding, "But if he bothers you, actually tell me instead of withholding it next time. That's not a request."
But before Tao Hua could manage even a word in response, Shan Si waved his hand in the air. He was completely over the topic and made the decision to entirely switch it up.
Leaning his head toward his shoulder and looking at the door, he called out, "Qian Jue."
It wasn't long before she arrived, quietly opening the door and standing in the frame. "Yes, my Lord?"
She was the epitome of the perfect servant, awaiting her lord's wishes.
"How much longer?"
"This maidservant asks that Our Lord wait patiently. It takes time to prepare a healthy serving and test it," she said, without moving an inch. "Would my Lord like a refreshment in the meantime?"
"Why not," he said, turning back to lazily lounge about. He glanced up at Tao Hua, who still seemed lost from their earlier conversation, an unreadable expression on his face. Finally, after deciding, he held up his index and middle fingers. "Two. Bring two."
"Yes, My Lord."
Promptly, Qian Jue nodded with a bow and darted back out of the room.
Tao Hua stared at Shan Si, confused, but no explanation followed his request, and the room fell silent. Thus, he was now left in the midst of his nomadic thoughts, with only the tapping of Shan Si's fingers to fill the void.
His mind wandered to and fro—from one topic to another. When he landed on Weng Jing and Shan Si's reaction, he reacted in a way he hadn't ever before.
Every part of him tingled with an unusual feeling, and the room felt hotter than it ever had before.
From handling bad actors, to picking out clothes for him…something unexplained fluttered in his chest and forced a crooked smile onto his face.
Is he actually doing this for me?—
Thud.
It hadn't occurred to him that the tapping had stopped, nor did he notice Qian Jue's return.
Peering up, Tao Hua found a bowl filled with amber liquid placed upon his table, and a hand shoving it ever-so-closer to him. Bit by bit, as if trying to convince him of something. Then, a heavy weight nudged his body sideways.
"You're a bit too shy," Shan Si playfully said, leaning up against Tao Hua's shoulders. Hovering before his smirk was a bowl similar to Tao Hua's, and his lashes had lowered completely.
"Let's change that."
Chapter end.