Frowning, Tao Hua discerned Shan Si's words without much to offer of his own in response.
What could he say? That he somehow empathized with a woman forced to give birth to a child she never wanted in the first place? His struggle was only half of the comparison.
He recognized the lifelessness that came with being isolated, and there were plenty of times Tao Hua questioned if living such a life was worth the effort. But, to his luck, he was always on the opposite side of that conclusion.
Who knew where he'd be had it not been for his grandfather?
Upon witnessing the dilemma, Shan Si watched as Tao Hua slumped toward the edge of the bath, his eyes shifting amid his troubled thoughts. It was clear from the wrinkles on his face that he'd lost control of his mind when looking at his reflection in the water.
"She found it," he assured him.
"Hm?" Tao Hua glanced up at Shan Si, lost. "Found what?"
"The happiness she sought," he began. "She didn't succeed. Do you want me to continue?"
Wavering, Tao Hua contemplated Shan Si's offer. A part of him was appreciative that Shan Si was sharp enough to recognize his discomfort, but that somehow led to a slew of complicating and provoking sentiments.
Why, in such a sad story, was he flustered?
Squeezing his eyes shut, Tao Hua casually nodded, welcoming the distraction wholly.
"When Zhuan found her, she had already failed a few times. It was said that her hands shook violently, and she was more likely to accidentally succeed than intentionally. I'm sure you can imagine the look on Zhuan's face—anyone with an ounce of empathy for that matter—finding a pregnant woman in the dead of night, crying as she held a sword to her throat, cussing. Especially in the parts of the city that were empty and typically free of those well adorned."
Tao Hua genuinely tried to imagine what he'd done—but despite being compared to this woman, he would have frozen in place entirely.
"Zhuan was a resourceful woman, bolder than most, but it didn't take strength to stop the concubine. The concubine was in such a state of disarray, all she had to do target a single pressure point and confiscate the sword. One and done, simple."
"And she returned to the Imperial Palace?" asked Tao Hua. Though he already knew the answer—this woman went on to birth the prince. But why return?
Shan Si shrugged. "I'm not sure; this story comes from the concubine herself. The next thing she knew, she was awoken in her place with Zhuan next to her, asleep. Zhuan covered for her, explaining an abduction and that the concubine had already long passed out since the discovery."
"Why not tell the truth?"
"And disgrace the emperor's image? That's cause for treason, Tao Hua. To bring dishonour on the Son of Heaven in such a way, sullying his only chance at having a boy? She'd be asking for death, and likely granted it after nurturing the child to a certain age."
"So…the emperor really was that awful."
"Hah—yup. Most are. Now imagine the type of son he ended up raising," Shan Si said, lowering his lids, as if cringing at the statement. Tao Hua let out a sigh, thinking back to the banquet.
Perhaps there was justification in how his father reacted. What would the emperor have done if Tao Hua had said the wrong thing? His stomach twisted. The idea of giving his father an olive branch for all he'd done, that was a difficult thing to swallow.
"The concubine was grateful, as was most of the palace for the time being. Zhuan was invited to stay at her side through the child's birth as a beacon of good luck, and stood at her side during the enthronement ceremony after successfully giving birth to the emperor's first son. The two became unlikely friends, and the empress described her as her closest confidante. It was Zhuan who made the empress see the joy in having her own son, despite Zhuan never having borne children herself.
"She helped raise the boy in his early years, teaching him the tricks and trades of cultivation. He was quite the lucky man." Shan Si positioned his body weight against the arm closest to Tao Hua. "This luck lasted until his tenth birthday."
"…what happened?"
"Well, he wasn't a screaming boy running around the palace anymore, and the emperor could finally tolerate him. He had planned to take him far sooner, but Zhuan kept interfering. She was a pain in his ass, to put it bluntly, and he wanted her dead." Shan Si barked a laugh. "But he couldn't kill her! None in the Imperial Guard could compete with her, and she'd offer them the shame of living as repentance. Imagine how that made the emperor look, knowing his entire force was bested by one woman with a horsetail whisk?"
To Tao Hua, this felt like karma for the way he treated the empress.
"But he was a conniving old bastard and ha workarounds. Want to know how?" Shan Si asked, to which Tao Hua nodded his head. "He refused her the title of Imperial Diviner and instead offered it to another. Do you know who?"
Tao Hua brought a hand to his mouth, brushing his thumb along his lips. Thinking back to his time hiding behind the tree in the Ancestral Gardens, he recalled Suo Han's comment. The one about Weng Jing being favoured by the late emperor.
Given Weng Jing was skilled enough to be titled a Daoist Master, it only made sense that he was immortal.
So he answered, "Daoist Master Weng?"
"Correct."
"What place did he have in the palace? I thought he cared deeply about Daoist Master Zhuan…?" asked Tao Hua. Why go through all the trouble of explaining Zhuan's background, or why this was important.
But he was invested, nonetheless.
"Remember that boy I told you not to forget?"
"The young disciple…?" Suddenly, it all started to make sense. Wan Mie called him Zhuan's disciple when describing his unrequited love. Naturally, he should have figured it out much sooner with all the information he was given. "That was Weng Jing? So why did he betray her?"
"He didn't exactly betray her. To call it betrayal, the victim first needs to scream traitor," Shan Si explained. "Zhuan wasn't aiming for the position—in fact, it backfired on the emperor. She was over the moon ecstatic that her disciple could serve the boy she had partially raised once the prince ascended the throne. She considered the empress her eternal sister; therefore, to have both children succeed their relationship, she couldn't be happier."
Tao Hua's face writhed in slight disgust, but Shan Si just held up his hand and corrected the situation.
"Now don't get it confused, Weng Jing wasn't her child, nor were they related by blood. But he was the closest Zhuan came to having one," he said. "Doesn't make the situation any less weird."
"Soooo…" Tao Hua began. "What's the point of this all?"
"The point is, Weng Jing became the second victim of the emperor's cruel, narcissistic ways," Shan Si said. "When I said he was conniving, I meant it. The emperor could reveal any person's vulnerability; that's how he ascended the throne in the first place.
"Taking this as an opportunity, he unofficially adopted Weng Jing, and took him under his wing at the impressionable age of thirteen. He knew that there was no chance in him convincing this star-struck youth to go against his master, so…he took advantage of that very key detail. Want to know how?"
Tao Hua fumbled with his hands a bit. It was clear this explanation wouldn't end well, and the last thing he wanted on his mind was to feel bad for Weng Jing. And yet, he had to know.
And oh, how he wished he hadn't asked at all.
"He filled the young boy's mind with hope, flipping right from wrong, and completely switching it on him the day after. Completely toyed with his mind until he couldn't quite grip reality," Shan Si explained, leaning his shoulder closer to Tao Hua and meeting the poor man's pained expression. But Shan Si seemed unbothered by the information, and Tao Hua couldn't exactly read what was going through his mind, or how he didn't seem fazed in the slightest.
In fact, a slurry of theories resonated messily, banging against his head.
Is this why Weng Jing hardly ever opened his eyes? Tao Hua wondered, trying the find the answer in Shan Si's motionless pale eyes. That can't be it, though…
"The emperor brought him to the Ancestral Hall, filled his mind with fortune, destiny, all that fun stuff. He successfully convinced the small brat that his destiny was written in the stars, just like the prince's birth was." Scooting closer to Tao Hua, he nudged his arm behind Tao Hua's back, his fingers creeping closer to his waist. Tao Hua was so enamoured with the explanation, he hadn't yet noticed. "Now, I want you to answer me this, Tao Hua—did you notice it?"
"Notice what…?" Tao Hua asked innocently. A spark of emotion crossed Shan Si's face upon witnessing this, almost grieving his methods and questioning them. But alas, such would pass, and he'd only continue onward.
"How he insists that it's his destiny to marry Zhuan? Won't budge, even if argued with? Who do you think caused that?"
The look on Tao Hua's face was almost devastating, but Shan Si couldn't stop there. He gripped his waist, the emotionless expression flipping into a smirk. "So you've seen it? His obsession with Zhuan?"
Averting his eyes, Tao Hua frowned, reaching his hand to place it atop the one on his waist. "I…I don't think it's funny. He sounds sincere in his delu—"
But in the midst of shoving away Shan Si's hand, Tao Hua paused. Shan Si immediately pulled himself back and up to his feet; he went! Quicker than the blink of an eye, and leaving Tao Hua nearly falling back without the support he'd gotten used to.
After a few blinks of confusion, Tao Hua watched as Shan Si marched to the exit of the bathing room, only just realizing the purpose of that entire story.
Shan Si knew exactly what he was doing, but was it necessary to waste that much time trying to extract what Tao Hua wouldn't tell him?! Convincing Tao Hua wasn't a difficult thing, yet Shan Si treated it as such!
"W-Where are you going?!" Tao Hua cried, rising to his feet in a stumbled frenzy.
Manically glaring down at the handle, Shan Si smiled a smile that could have disintegrated an entire village, murdering thousands.
"I haven't prayed in years," Shan Si said in a low voice before sliding open the door and adding, "Felt it was time to change that."
Left in a daze, standing just ahead of the bath, Tao Hua watched Shan Si exit before realizing every mistake he had made. Lifting up his pant legs, he hurried after Sahn Si and shouted, "I-It's fine! I can handle it, Shan Si! P-Please!"
He never got a full explanation of the story, nor a conclusion. There were so many things left unanswered, and many more questions raised.
And most importantly, he never got to find out who that woman was outside, or why she stood at this angry man's side.
It felt like he was chasing a contradiction.
Chapter end.