"Madoka. Where are you going this early in the morning?"
"Wagh!"
"Go back to your room, Madoka. Right now."
"M-Mother… No, I was just… taking a stroll… no, I mean, just getting some fresh air! I wasn't going anywhere! Truly!"
Caught by Mother. This was… not good. She looked livid. I was in for a lecture. But this investigation was a matter of necessity!
I'd seen a lingering trace of Cursed Energy—a residue that concerned me. I had to look into it. Night was simply more convenient for such work. I doubted anything would happen immediately if I left it alone, but better safe than sorry, surely?
That place is a junior high. It's full of children. As a Sorcerer, I had a duty to act. If it were adults being targeted, it would be bad enough, but children? That's no laughing matter. Besides, I was doing this for Mother's sake, too.
"…Madoka. I'm sure what you're trying to do is very noble. You've always been one to act for the sake of others. It was the same with Himiko-chan, wasn't it?"
"…I mean, well…"
If that's how Mother saw it, so be it… but the truth was, I acted because I was irritated. I hate them. I loathe them. Parents who slight their own children—who disregard their feelings. Parents who fail to nurture, who fail to love.
…I simply cannot forgive it.
Because I, too, was slighted. The moment I was born as a child of the Kamo clan, my luck had run dry, but I still wanted to fight it. Back then, I just wanted a normal life. Cursed Spirits were nothing but terrifying to me. But I had no choice but to become a Sorcerer. And I couldn't bring myself to abandon my younger brother and sister, who hadn't been blessed with a Technique.
Before I knew it, I was trapped. So, I tried to kill that shitty old man. I thought if I killed him and became the Head of the Clan, I could change the Kamo line for the better.
In the end, I couldn't do it. The position of Head went to the old man's illegitimate child instead. And later, I heard that my brother and sister had been used as bait for Curses.
From then on… and even before then, really… I spent my time traveling, killing every parent I found who didn't love their child. I was consumed by hatred. Even now, the fire still burns. If I were allowed, I'd kill them all.
So. It wasn't for Himiko's sake. I had tried to abandon her once. I tried to cut her off, telling myself it was none of my business. In this life, I had no intention of sticking my nose into other families' affairs.
I simply couldn't hold myself back.
See? It's not for "others." It's for me.
"…Listen, Madoka. I intended to let you do as you pleased. but no more. I am officially forbidding you from going out at night."
"But Mother… that is…"
I couldn't accept that. I absolutely would not. I could exorcise Curses during the day, but the night was better. Besides, why start this now? She'd noticed me slipping out before and always turned a blind eye. She'd always let me be free.
"…Well, yes. But I saw something bad, so it's over. If you're so determined to 'exorcise' these things, then become a Hero first. Understood?"
…Wait. I hadn't said a word. I'd only thought it. How did she know?
"Madoka. I can see your soul quite clearly. I can practically read your thoughts like text on a page. That is my Quirk, after all."
"…I didn't realize spiritualism was quite so convenient."
"I usually try not to look, and even when I do, it's just fragments. But just now, I read two things: 'Cursed Spirit' and 'Exorcise.' And then there was Himiko-chan. Honestly, if you love her that much, you should tell her once or twice. You love her enough to carve her name into your very soul, don't you?"
"…Wait, Mother. That has nothing to do with this!"
Hold on, hold on! Why the sudden change of subject? That was completely irrelevant! And what was this about carving names into souls?! I didn't understand at all!
"It has everything to do with this. That girl is starving for words of affection, you know? She's always grumbling to me about how Madoka-chan never says it. You'd better tell her properly, or she'll lose heart. Be careful."
"But… I told her the other day… I expressed it… It's not something I need to keep saying…"
What on earth has that girl been whispering to my mother? Surely saying it once or twice should be enough. Why is she so insatiable? Does she won't be satisfied until she has every piece of me? I told her she'd have to wait for that.
Marriage! At eighteen! Not a moment sooner!!
"Let me ask you this: Do you not want Himiko-chan to tell you she loves you? Is once or twice really enough?"
"…Well… I mean… I suppose I wouldn't… mind… no matter how many times she said it…"
"Exactly. Now, since you understand, back to your room! Go and tell her properly for once! Himiko-chan is waiting!"
"Ngh…!"
Utterly defeated by logic, I was dragged back to my room. When I shuffled inside, Himiko was wide awake and looking every bit as livid as my mother. My lie about the privy had been my undoing. From now on, if I must lie, I'll make sure it's a better one… actually, no. I'll stop lying to her. Sorcerers are supposed to be liars by trade, but… for Himiko, I'll make an exception.
As for what happened next… I was forced to say "I love you" until I was blue in the face. It took about an hour for her to finally cheer up.
Until then, I was stuck under the covers, holding Himiko close while repeating those wretched words she so desired.
…Good grief! I hate those words!! I'm never saying them again!!!
I'm never saying them again!!!!