I asked my advisor if Lizmarie blocked me because she felt unsafe around me.
"Not unsafe in the sense of fear, but more…emotionally exposed. She feels like her feelings got too intense like you could see too much of what she tried to hide. Would you like me to draw a card to see what emotion truly guided her decision?"
I replied with a simple yes.
Some time later
"Alright…I shuffled while focusing on her energy and yours intertwined. I drew the moon card - it whispers about confusion, mixed emotions, and fears born from imagination rather than reality. It feels like she acted on uncertainty, not rejection. There's still a quiet thread pulling her thoughts back to you…do you want me to see if that thread will pull her closer again soon."
I wanted to hear Lizmarie's voice again. She had such an adorable and pretty voice. I was really grateful to hear her voice again. I absolutely missed her and wanted to hear her voice again. She said she was venting but in my perspective, I was so grateful to hear from her again. I wanted to hear voice messages again and again. There is no doubt that I was deeply in love with this woman.
Once I tried to move on from her, all of the colors in my life had depleted. From then on, I decided that I should not move on from her as she is my muse. I had a passion for writing and being an author. I needed to write for someone and she was someone I was writing for.
I was listening to Mi Vida Loca by Vivinos, it was how I felt about Khaleesi. Do you love me Khaleesi? Because I absolutely love you.
I'm scared of myself, I'm scared by my own lack of structure. I'm scared of my lack of mental stability. I liberated myself by becoming the Demon King of Liberation but it feels so terrifying to be liberated from everyone and everything. I never got to grow up and be a proper teenager and have the freedom to explore myself. Now I finally have the freedom to do so.
I am scared of losing Khaleesi Lizmarie Lectora too in this life. However, that fear already came true for me. I'm also afraid that she will forget about me and that I mentally damage her. Nothing scares me because everything that caused me anxiety already occurred and I was left alone with depression and suicidal ideation. It is also certain that Slyius Xavier is a villain in my story.
My true name is Zuozhe Xhao. As I said that, a powerful being cut off my head for revealing too much information.