THE FALL I
On the rooftop, Fatima stood on the short barricade at the edge.
She looked down at the dizzying height below.
The hospital rose to twenty - seven storeys. She remembered when it had just been renovated. It had been the talk of town —as the first highest big hospital in the state, despite being privately owned.
How the glass panels were beautifully fitted with professional architectural skills, that it captures the essence of the nature around.
The hospital serves as healing core for lots but today it's going to be her escape.
Fatima now stood on the tip of the roof top of this high building. She was fighting hard to hold back the tears that threaten to fall down her eyes.
Despite the mild breeze, she stood firm on the block and watched how small people were on the floor below her, so very insignificant —she felt pity for herself all over again.
Everything began to flash back to her now. Her life since she was old enough to recognize her existence, times she was innocent enough to believe the world is always fair and good.
The tears were running freely down now and she has no intention of stopping them nor wiping them.
She went back on memory lane of the incident that had brought her to the hospital, —of course she had tried to commit suicide but she had her reasons and to her, they were dire enough to make her resort to the choice she made.
She at the moment thought no one could bear being publicly shamed and traded like that without wanting to enter a hole down deep in the earth.
Recounting that particular day event, just like any other day she had woke up and prayed to have a good day ahead.
She prepared for the day and went to school.
She was a college 2nd year student at X university.
Her life was already that of a living hell but one of her joy is that, —she could still, at least go to school.
It was one of her major achievement in life. The happiness she had felt when she held her acceptance letter —was innumerable, and now she was just still in her second year and her hell as somehow found a way to crept in.
She arrived campus late that day and went straight to Humanity department, where she had her class that morning.
The lecturer was already in class but just setting his table.
She hurried in and sighted her only friend, meerah waving at her and hurrying her to come take up the space she had kept for her.
She had hurried in and slide on the seat.
Then she whispered to meerah's ear, "thank God the lecture hasn't started yet. I don't want to miss Mr Babs' lecture."
"Yeah if you had come in a few minutes later you would have, we all know how strict he is, now let's focus he is starting already", meerah whispered back grinning and taking her pen ready to jot down.
Mr Babs scribbled on the board, "Society and expressions" he asked the whole class what they understood by the topic. It was an interactive class.
After an hour, the class ended with eruptive applause.
Just as everyone was preparing to move out the lecture room. A sharp, comic voice was heard over the microphone.
Caleb, popularly known as the class clown was by the microphone on the lecture podium —imitating the lecturer.
"I think we the society, already knows the expression Fatimah makes when ...hmmm"
The whole class wore an inquisitive expression, waiting for him to finish his sentence.
"You know, when she ... how she....does....hmmm.....hmmm" he continued, making a finger-down-a-hole gesture.
The whole audience burst with acknowledgement. Surprise, shock and mock was evident on some.
Fatimah was shocked at this point. She turned around to see whether there was another person with the same name in question.
But no one.
All eyes were on her, —intense and shocking.
She was the only Fatimah in the class.
And she had always been a model student.
She wondered what could have gone wrong.
She instantly hoped in her mind that it wasn't that...
She panicked —fidgeting on her seat.
Her fear was confirmed when Caleb faced her directly and turned the microphone to his audience, he said, "Do you want to see her expressions!?"
The response was loud and overwhelming. She was sweating and shaking.
She dreaded the moment, but it came anyways.
The projection came to life and she knew she didn't need to watch anymore.
It was all familiar.
The vivid image on screen sliced through her heart.
The angles.
The movements.
Her face.
She never knew it existed until that moment.
The voices came haunting her, it kept getting louder —louder... and louder.
She shut her eyes tight and blocked her ears. The voice are immersive now, —loud, suffocating and inescapable.
"Fatimah!"
"Fatimah!"
The voice came distant at first.
She was shaken roughly. Her eyes shot opened in an instant and met Meerah's eyes pairing into her's, filled with shock and worry.
"You are covered in sweats, Fatimah ... let's get out of here." Meerah pulled off her jacket and covered her head hiding her face with it.
The voices jeered at them mockingly.
Fatima could swore she heard swear words directed her, words about her being a shame to womanity and sort.
Outside the school now. They stopped at a small rest area. Meerah went in to check whether there was any familiar faces but the hall was quiet with only two couples sharing a quiet meal together.
After confirming the coast was clear, she brought Fatimah in. They both sat at a far end corner, away from ears and distractions.
"Fatimah ... how could you do that!?"
"I..... i—," she couldn't form a sentence, worried that her friend might not believe her.
"Fatimah, I didn't think you could do something of such ... it's devastating—"
Meerah said brokenly. "— I really want to believe you but the video was a undeniable evidence and your facial expression confirms it, what explanation is even left..." she paused and looked at the sobbing Fatimah.
"I'm very sorry ... but I really have to go now". With that Meerah stood up, picked her bag and left. Once at the entrance, she hesitated and thought maybe she was being harsh. The image of her friend sprawled in nudity flashed across her mind. Not in a million years would she have thought her friend would be involved in such an explicit content. She looked back towards her friend and saw her, head-bent crying hard —but she left anyways.
Dejected and abandoned, Fatimah sobbed hard. The rest area is one close-by the school and it's pretty much going to get crowded soon.
She wiped her tears, picked up her bag and left —covering her face with meerah's jacket.
Meerah.
She couldn't blame her, if she were to be in her shoes, she might have done the same.
She hurried towards the main road now and flagged down a cab.
At home, she dropped her phone and bags on her table and went straight to the bathroom.
She stood in front of the mirror, replaying the whole event of the video.
Her heart broke as she burst into fresh tears. What broke her most was not having a confidant to confide in.
No one to believe her.
No one to hear her out.
Her thought went to her mother, that poor woman. She can never burden her with something like this, it would break her and she can never bear to see her broken.
She rinsed her face and went back to the room.
buzz.
buzzzzzzzzz!
Her phone kept buzzing with notifications alert.
She rushed towards the phone, thinking it must be something important.
It was the school platform.
The unthinkable had happened.
The video, all of it —laid bare for everyone to see.
The phone dropped from her hand, and she followed too with the same effect.
The comments were rushing in now.
A whore studying law, bet she's gonna screw all client...
She deserves to die...
Someone like her shouldn't be a student in our school...
More comments flooded in, with explicits and mocking emojis and she knew that's it.
The last straw that broke the camel's back.
She had lost everything overnight.
Her prestige.
Her enthusiasm.
Her privilege.
Now, she is nothing than someone who deserves to die.
And that, that is the only right option.
The shame
the ridicule...
Her death would change that, —would give her peace... one she deserved.
Without thinking twice, she went to her drawer and brought out all the pills she had there —ranging from sedatives, to anything she could find that promised silence.
She piled them up on her palm.
Her hands trembled as she stared at them.
The buzzing was fast-paced now.
She took one last glance at her phone and the word "DIE!!" seemed to be everywhere.
Die.
Without hesitation, she swallowed the pills.
The effect wasn't instant. It came slowly —dizzying, disorienting. The pain emerged now, clawing from deep down her stomach towards her chest.
She coughed hard —foaming, and fell to the ground.
She heard knocks.
Someone barged in, shouting her name with urgency and desperation.
She could not see who —and the voice too soon faded.
Then it was all quietness.
A calm...solid peace.