A light-tentacle pierced straight through Unit-01's chest.
Shinji Ikari did not choose to run.
Instead, he drew the close-combat knife and drove the Eva forward with the determination to stake everything on this fight against the Angel.
"AAAAAAAH—!!"
He roared, eyes blazing wildly as he stared at the crimson core. The high-frequency cutter had already bitten partway in.
He shoved the controls forward with all his strength, screaming like a cornered beast.
Unit-01 had only twenty seconds left.
Even while enduring the pain, Shinji kept attacking the Angel.
Toji Suzuhara and Kensuke Aida were already terrified, staring in shock at Shinji as he seemed to transform into something feral.
BOOM—!
The crimson orb exploded.
The Angel fell silent.
And Unit-01 stopped completely as well.
Shinji gasped violently for breath, wracked by pain—so much pain it felt like he was suffocating. His hands remained locked around the controls, unable to let go.
By the time it was over, he barely even knew how he had gotten out of the cockpit, or how he had left the Eva at all.
Heavy rain poured down across the city.
The sky was overcast and bleak, just like Shinji's mood—dark and raining from within.
"Why didn't you follow my orders?"
"I'm sorry," Shinji said with his head lowered.
"I'm your operations commander, aren't I?"
"Yes."
"You can't do that again," Misato Katsuragi said sternly.
"Yes."
Hearing the boy's flat, perfunctory answer, Misato glared at him in frustration.
"Did you really take that in?"
"Mm. I understand, Misato."
Shinji's voice was hollow.
"It doesn't matter, does it? We won in the end.
"I'll do what you tell me and pilot it. That's enough, right?"
Misato seized Shinji by the collar and yanked him up out of his chair.
But Shinji only lowered his head in silence.
Perhaps he thought that if he stayed like this, at least he would not be hit again.
"Forget it… Just go back and rest."
As Misato looked at the lonely expression on the boy's face—and that smile he wore while pretending not to care—something twisted painfully in her chest.
Shinji, for his part, believed he had seen through Misato Katsuragi's mask.
In the end, she only wanted to use him to pilot the Eva too.
Click.
The automatic door slid shut.
Misato lowered her head and pressed her lips together.
Misato, you idiot…
Then she raised her hand and slapped herself hard across the face.
She blamed herself.
This was something that could have been prevented.
She began to doubt whether her decisions had been the right ones.
Could she really make Shinji feel loved?
…
…
…
In the Char's Counterattack timeline—
Lin Youde stared blankly at Misato Katsuragi and Ritsuko Akagi within NERV's structure, looking at the whole stupid institution in disbelief.
How had they somehow managed to seem even dumber than the Federation government?
"So the nations of this world just handed responsibility for fighting these monsters over to some bizarre organization like this?
"Instead of openly sharing the technology used to build the Evas with the whole world and beginning large-scale production and research into new anti-Angel weapons?
"Shouldn't trained professionals be the ones operating them?
"And even if only Shinji Ikari can pilot it—even if children are the only ones who can—shouldn't you still provide that child with the appropriate psychological counseling?
"An independent organization with operational authority doesn't even understand something that basic?
"It's pitiful. Ordinary people have to pin their hopes on fools like you to save them… What a miserable human society."
He himself had once used the "correction punch" on Amuro.
But he would never do the same to Shinji Ikari.
People were different.
That method only worked on someone like Amuro—someone with strong pride, a desperate desire to prove himself, and genuine love for robots and mobile weapons.
But what about Shinji?
He hated piloting the Eva. For him, doing it was only a way to patch up the relationship with his father, only a performance meant to earn his father's approval.
If Gendo Ikari had only offered Shinji a few words of encouragement, the matter could have been resolved so simply.
Both sides could have gotten what they wanted.
Lin Youde truly could not understand how the relationship between those two had deteriorated to such a degree.
Was Gendo Ikari really an adult fit to lead an independent organization like NERV against monsters?
No matter what, he and Hathaway would never interact like that.
Father and son were family—not enemies.
In the world of Hathaway's Flash—
"Hathaway… Is your relationship with your father that bad too?" Gigi asked curiously.
"Why… are you asking that?"
Hathaway looked at her warily, unsure why she would suddenly bring that up.
"Because… the thing you're going to do, you didn't discuss it with your father, did you?
"And you know what you're about to do will hurt him too, don't you?
"So if your relationship isn't bad… why would you do something like that…?"
Gigi sipped her drink and looked at Hathaway boldly.
Hathaway gazed up at the sky, his expression complicated, watching Federation mobile weapons pass overhead.
"Children eventually grow up. There comes a time when they have to face certain things on their own.
"Adults won't understand what we're thinking. They don't really care what's in our hearts.
"But don't worry. My relationship with my father is good. I admire him a great deal.
"He's a hero of the Federation…"
…
…
…
That day, Shinji Ikari did not go home.
He sat alone on a train from the evening rush all the way until the last services of the night were about to end, only then finally getting off.
All around him, people went on with their busy lives.
No one cared about the boy sitting alone in the carriage with his head down, listening to music.
Late that night, around ten o'clock, Shinji wandered through a brightly lit entertainment district in a daze.
He still had not eaten dinner.
He had no intention of going back there anymore.
He regretted moving in with Misato Katsuragi.
If he had still been living alone, he could at least have gone back.
Either way, he was alone.
No one would scold him. No one would exclude him.
Meanwhile, Misato looked at the empty room, her hair hanging loose and disheveled over her shoulders.
"He's not planning to come back… that idiot."
That night, carrying the portable music player his father had given him, Shinji slept in a cardboard box beside a trash bin.
A hero who had saved the city twice—
ignored, uncared for, unnoticed.
No grandmother doted on him. His father did not love him. His mother was gone. He had no friends.
He had always been alone.
Even a stray dog could have familiar companions, or a home where nobody beat or scolded it.
But at this moment, Shinji Ikari had less than even a stray dog.
What a miserable existence.
The next day, he stopped going to school as well.
He walked alone through the wilderness, heading farther and farther away from the city, following the road that led out beyond it.
He wanted to leave this place where nobody cared about him, where nobody loved him.
If he could just leave, then maybe he would never be hurt again.
He kept walking.
Hours passed.
At last, Shinji stopped in front of a broken bridge.
It had been destroyed during Unit-01's battle with the Angel.
The Eva he hated had even destroyed his road of escape.
How ridiculous.
Shinji stared blankly at the enormous footprints near the bridge, feeling hollow inside.
"I've had enough…
"Take me to see Misato."
He turned around.
Lights flashed. People stood densely packed there.
The bodyguards assigned to watch over Shinji had never left.
He knew perfectly well that people had been following him the whole time.
Of course.
After all… they still needed him to pilot the Eva and fight those monsters.
"Did wandering around help you feel any better?"
Misato Katsuragi looked at Shinji, sitting alone in a dark corner.
"Shinji Ikari."
"About the same. None of it matters anymore.
"I don't have any freedom anyway.
"As long as I can pilot the Eva, that's enough, right? That's why Dad called me here."
Shinji lowered his head, staring lifelessly at the floor.
The wall around his heart was growing thicker and thicker.
"It's fine.
"I'll pilot it. Then all of you will be satisfied, right?"
"All of us…? What about you?" Misato asked.
"I know I'm no good. You all know that too, don't you?
"But for Rei Ayanami, and for you, Misato, and for Dad…"
Shinji let out all the pain inside him, head bowed the entire time, complaint after complaint spilling out.
"Are you finished yet!?
"What does any of that have to do with anyone else…?
"Whether you continue being an Eva pilot or not—that's something you decide.
"If you don't want to stay here, then leave.
"It's all up to you.
"You decide."
The instant Misato shut the door, she regretted it.
Again.
She had lashed out at Shinji again.
This was the second time.
Even while looking at Shinji in pain, she still had not managed to control her temper.
Inside the room, Shinji listened to the sound of the door closing and felt a fresh ache of sadness.
Maybe he had been hoping Misato would comfort him.
Yes.
He had only wanted a little comfort.
Even fake comfort would have been enough.
Even false acknowledgment would have been enough.
But there was nothing.
Nothing at all.
…
…
…
In the world of Spy x Family—
"Wah… so scary. Father, Anya… Anya will study hard, so please don't abandon me!"
Watching Shinji Ikari's miserable situation—seeing that even his own father did not want him—Anya clung to Loid Forger's clothes with tearful eyes.
She suddenly remembered that she herself was an adopted child, one taken in only for the sake of her father's mission.
Maybe one day, without warning, she would end up alone again and be sent back to the orphanage.
Or perhaps there would not even be an orphanage willing to take her anymore.
Loid rubbed Anya's head and comforted her.
"You were affected by what you saw on the screen, weren't you?
"Don't worry. I'm not the sort of person who would be cold to my own child.
"People like that are very rare. Most parents love their children.
"Come on. There's a new peanut flavor in stock today."
"Peanuts—! A new flavor of peanuts—!"
Anya's eyes sparkled, and in an instant she forgot her sadness, bouncing happily alongside Loid toward the store.
At Becky's house—
"You were the ones who forced him in the first place, and now you turn around and ask how he feels… You people are horrible! Shameless!"
Becky angrily pointed at Misato Katsuragi.
That woman was simply too shameless. She was the one who had scolded Shinji over and over again.
Becky now utterly despised both the woman who only wanted to use Shinji to pilot the Eva, and Shinji's cold-blooded father as well.
"You say that if he decides to leave, you'll let him go? I almost believed you for a second!
"Isn't it just because that girl has recovered, and the girl from Germany is on her way, so you're already preparing to throw Shinji Ikari away?
"He's not your tool. He's a living person, you horrible idiots!"
"You tell him to make his own choice? How shameless can you get? What choice can he possibly make?
"If he leaves, he has to go back to living alone again, and you probably wouldn't even cover his living expenses, would you?
"You're forcing him to pilot the Eva through all of these conditions. You're making it so that piloting it is his only option.
"If you were really so noble, then when he first said he didn't want to pilot it, were you all deaf?"
In the boys' dorm—
"Bastards! You're bastards, and shameless ones at that!
"You've got all these people tailing him, and now you're saying he should decide for himself?
"Didn't he already tell you what his decision was?
"Are you blind? Can't you see that piloting the Eva makes him miserable?"
Damian's little face was bright red with anger.
"That's right, Young Master Damian is absolutely right.
"If you hadn't forced him, if you hadn't used that pathetic emotional blackmail to exploit Shinji Ikari's kindness, he would have left this place long ago!
"You're the ones who called Shinji here, so don't you have a responsibility to send him back too?
"If you're all so capable, then go defeat the Angels yourselves!
"How shameless. Relying on a little kid to save you, while not caring for him, not loving him—what have you ever given him?"
"Honestly, the people in that place are all idiots.
"Everyone is depending on a child barely older than us to save the world.
"All you adults do is stand around ordering Shinji Ikari about from above. If you're so amazing, then you pilot the Eva!
"Go on, the world's in your hands now—go save it yourselves! Stop relying on Shinji and let him leave that miserable place."
"For the sake of the greater good, using such methods may not be elegant, but I can understand it…
"Even if this boy has not been polished by elite education, even if he does not appear refined, he still possesses a soul of elegance. He is the future and the hope of his nation.
"That kindness of his—the kindness that does not even resent the one who struck him—that is the most elegant thing of all.
"Elegance nourishes tradition. Elegance nourishes the future. But you adults are not elegant at all. You do not comport yourselves as adults should."
Henry Henderson shook his head, looking at Shinji Ikari with sorrow.
What a fine young sapling.
And yet he had been ruined by these people, sent to that rotten third-rate school, and made to suffer under teachers no better than filth.
What a waste.
There had been no punishment for the bully.
No punishment at all.
Even in his dreams, Henry Henderson had never imagined that the teachers at Shinji Ikari's school could be this foolish, this irresponsible, so utterly unworthy of the sacred vocation of teaching.
A truly excellent educator, upon seeing a child in their class absent and wearing an expression of such pain, would certainly inquire, understand, and seek a way to solve the problem.
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