–my domain BITCH!
—you're a monster… GET AWAY FROM HIM!
–please don't–
He opened his eyes.
Nothing.
He closed them.
Nothing.
He opened them again.
Darkness.
His fingertips. Then wrists. Toes. Feet. Elbows, knees. Shoulders, neck. Hips, chest.
Slowly, he began to feel his very familiar, very alive, very corporeal, body.
So…I'm not dead but then what even hap—
ZING!
Pain.
I see Yaya to my left, I'm too close to the ground? My small grubby right hand, grasping…a branch? Yaya's got one too, her hands adorned in star light, the trail following behind its tip, an elegant, looping, undecipherable script melting atop stacked shapes; glyphs in between its structured path. I'm moving my branch in sync with Yaya's. The trail I'm making, wobbly, uneasy, smudged and swept away by my own knees.
I'm raising my branch in the air, but it's a twig. Hands clean now, a hair larger, Yaya is gone. I'm in the meadow, sun brilliant, warm on my face. Cheeks sore from smiling and flush. I'm clumsily and comically wearing a heavy, tattered, thickly scented cloak. This smell. The deepest petrichor. Tobacco. Cinders. Incomprehensible. I love this smell. I'm fighting shadows, I am a proud powerful Mage, conquering dungeons and rescuing princes.
My staff is gone. My hands are glowing. So bright I can hardly see. Warmth. My hands are hot now, the small pot of dirt beneath them completely engulfed by my light. A sproutling. No, a sapling. Now a small tree, bigger still, blossoming, alive with brilliant white and a memory of late sunset. NO! The pot. It's broken. Roots spreading. Out of control. Wild. Unleashed. Pervasive. Enveloping. Dominating all.
"Honeyyy congratulationssssss!!! You are fucking FIERCE sweetiee!!! I wondered when you were, ffiiiiiiiIIINALLLLYYYY, gonna kick that nasty diaper habit of yours, Mary." She's smiling. Massive. Brilliant.
I'm maybe knee high from the ground. My face is hot. SO round. Bright red. I see myself, I'm grinning ear to ear, I'm so embarrassed, so accomplished. She loves me.
Does he hate me?! Spells flying toward me at light speed. I'm taller. I'm quicker now. My body feels very much mine and still, very much, small. One after the other. Brilliant flashes, comets, prismatic, beelining for me.
Block! Small and economical, precise and ethereal — hexagons, scales of blue light, obstructing each spell and diffusing the magical attacks just before they reach me, my defensive magic.
Petrichor again. He's close.
Burst!
Block!
Tobacco and cinders. Focus, he's fast.
Flash! Block!
I'm running, eyes fixed, now locked with my aggressor's. Mamoru. My teacher, mentor.
My friend….my giant, ancient friend's shell, once vast, a small hill underneath my body. My body, a young man's. I'm in control. Quiet. Focused. Hidden. I don't feel it in the physical sense, but soft wisps of snow fall. Chirping I don't hear and yet I feel. Tiny. A Shima Enaga perched atop my head, fluffy, blending into my own hair, blending into the snowscape. Perfect camouflage.
I can barely see it. Slowly struggling. Tiny, slimy. Green. SO cute. A tadpole. Sad. It's hot. Cracked, dry earth beneath my feet. My long arms reach to grasp him. He's still. I'm crying. He's hit with my tears. He's wiggling. I love him. I'm running back, him safely in my hands. I have to show Yaya!
So soft and fuzzy! My hands are small but she's even smaller cuddled up inside them.
"Yaya!!!" I can barely catch my breath.
"Yaya she's so cute!!!"
"Yaya she's staying!"
"Please!! A mean snake was gonna eat her! Please Yaya.." I'm begging and pleading.
"Pleaseeeeeee, NOOOO, he's a BABY!!" She's crying. I can't make out her face. She's hovering over me. I'm scared. She's struggling. Bleeding. Something is thrashing against her back. She's in pain. My hair, black?… hers, ghost white. My tears, her blood. Red. She's screaming. I'm screaming.
"HOOOONEYYYYY!!!"
"MY SWEET BABY AAANGEL! WHAT THE FUCK DID THESE PEOPLE DO TO YOU I'll…kill th–" Yaya's screaming stopped. Is it..from..is she in..the sky?
A smell. The only smell. Thick, heavy. Nauseating. Acrid.
Blackened smoke obscures the scene. Voices. Shouts. Shrieks of despair fade into the background. The smell…coppery, I taste it, metallic…sulfur..sharp. I taste it all.
My eyes, my vision. My mind. Small claws on my shoulder. Perching. Trees, two trees? No two…impossible…legs. Strong. Reptilian, scaled, dangerous. Massive, a joint bent backward. Talons razors. Wrong. The legs of my avian friend on my shoulders…and the same legs, no similar, larger. And Yaya, her voice. It's not coming from the sky. It's from up. Up to wherever these go. But she's inside the house. Ow! AH! My vision, my sight blurring. Blood, I smell blood. I'm never going to stop smelling blood, I —
"STOP!"
Aoi screamed in the void.
Seriously what just happened!?
Where am I? What is this?!
Why is everything dark? How did I even get here?
I swear I was…wait wasn't I making dinner? Kujou was on my shoulder…no I was asleep on Stewart. Or was I tending to the greenhouse..
But, wait..
WHAT THE FRIGG is this weird film-like sensation? All over my body..
I don't know what this is, I can't sense anything. It's so cold here..
Why is it so dark still?
No, I was, weren't we…watermelon?..
But. Where…where is…
Silence.
"HELLO!"
"YAYA!!! This ISN'T FUNNY!"
…
"Yaya?"
What. I, she…we. They were…I was going to–
"OH! HA! THIS IS TRAINING!"
"I'm gunna trap you in a 'Cursed House'. Break out and you're FIERCE babysweetieshnookiepoobaby." Oh, okay so this is a test. This is training. We're training. Obviously..
Yaya is..
This is funny!
No, it's a bad joke.
"HA! Alrighty then!"
If this is a test, I will pass.
So this is some kind of…what…barrier?
And I am in the kitchen. I break out of this and I am in the kitchen. Bath. Break out, and bath. Here we go.
Nothing.
Okay, focus.
He shut his eyes. He felt.
Nothing.
Nothing? What is this..nothing, bullshit! Yaya's barriers..are..have never been. I don't know what any of this is. I don't feel anything.
That's right… I don't feel anything. Wait..I don't feel ANYTHING.
I was cut, there was blood.
"Nope!"
It's gone. My injuries are gone, and I am in some kind of exotic force field mayhem Yaya created, because that's just so perfectly her…
∗ ∗ ∗
Nothing.
Still? This is crazy..
"No. No. Oh no.."
What if...there's no way. But what if–
Pain.
No, it's not possible. I'm dying inside. How could I be? No, not everyone. I can't believe it. It's horrible. I don't understand how this can possibly happen. I won't believe it. She is. I want my mom. I want my Yaya. How can she be gone? Me, take me.
Pain.
My stomach is in knots. I'm trembling.
Pain.
Vomit. I'm going to vomit. Ow.
Pain.
It's stuck, everything. My life is gone. My throat is burning. PAIN. Eyes wet. Can't see through tears. Dizzy. Everything, spinning.
"You stole my goddamn house!"
"Give it BACK TO ME!!" He's wailing.
The void, blacker still.
Pain.
Silence.
Stillness.
Nothing.
Nothing.
"Where is my bath?"
"WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT!?"
"YAYA WHY ARE YOU SORRY!?"
Uhhhuuuuhhhhh uuuuuuhhhuuuuuuu!!
He broke.
"Why don't you trust me Yaya? I don't understand. I want to be there with you, I want to finish dinner, I want to wake up tomorrow and train with you more, MUM! I don't want to lose you YAYAAAAAAAAA, I need you yayanocomebackicanthandleblublbublublbublbub.."
Pain.
If I had more time, I couldn't think. Breathe. I can't. Breathe. She has to be okay, they have to be okay. This, if this isn't real I will devote myself to the Goddess.
"PLEASE anyone, If this is a misunderstanding, please I'll do whatever you want!"
"..please.."
Pain.
Silence.
Nothing.
…
Vacuous, empty. Deep, never ending dark. Drifting. Aoi was alone. Aoi is alone.
I don't have magic…or anyone.
Nothingness is..
kind of..
Beautiful.
∗ ∗ ∗
Nothing.
I've..never been. Alone. For this long…
Days? Hours? Years…I don't know. I feel nothing.
No..that's…
Pain.
Ugh, this is torture..what is this..its familiar. I know this pain. Hunger. That's right we never finished dinner. I love those beans, we…wait yeah.
"I'm FUCKing starving." The curse, foreign sounding.
I'm so hungry I am going to die. How long has…WAIT—
How long has it actually been? Really..I have no idea.
Grrrowl.
I need to eat something. Beans and rice..I just made them. No, I made dinner at the house. And I..I need to eat. I need to get my shit together.
Hungry. How long…doesn't matter. Food. Eat.
Huh..this alluring…
"FOCUS!"
Yes, just focus and everything—
"GET ME THE HELL OUTTTT!"
He burst.
An unfathomable pressure filled the space.
"THIS SHIT IS COMING DOW—!"
Stop
'Why?'…not 'What?'.
Why am I here?
Even if this is training, what is the point? I've never seen Yaya use a barrier technique like this. Not even a glimpse of… can't sense her. Something. What is tha—
"Oh..no.."
My mana.