Yuki adjusts her glasses, and gestures with her hand around the room. "So this is the literature club room, since it's your first day, showing you the library would be overwhelming, so I will show you around this club room." She then moves towards the bookshelf in the room. Hana follows her. "Here we keep different types of books, each shelf is separated by genre." She points to each shelf. "This is romance, philosophy, and so on." She looks at Hana and asks, "Are you keeping up, Shirakawa?"
Hana's blue eyes glance at me briefly and then return to Yuki. "Yes, I am keeping up. But I would have preferred if someone of my own class showed me around. I would be way more comfortable." Hana is indirectly talking about me. I pretend to mind my own business and stand near the table. There are some books lying on the table.
Yuki pauses and looks down at Hana, and replies, "Well, I think proper procedure is important. There are rules and regulations here. And no one is forcing you to join this club." She says this with her calm and neutral face, but it's a jab at her and her words.
Hana is now glaring up at her, her striking blue eyes are unblinking and now staring at her with an intensity. She recognises the jab thrown at her. Before she could say anything, Yuki looks at me and says, "Kurosawa, could you go and place these books in the appropriate section of the library?" She is trying to get me out of this room so she can deal with Hana alone.
"Yea, I am basically free and have nothing to do. So yes I can help with that." I quickly grab the books and head out.
Now all of Hana's intensity is on Yuki. "You know what you said to me is a bit rude."
Yuki meets her intensity head on and replies, "Rude? Well, you said you were uncomfortable with me without any proper reason. I think that's rude."
Hana puts her hands on her hips and replies, her voice louder than usual, "Well, you want a proper reason? You sneaked up behind me and scared me. I think that's enough of a reason to be uncomfortable around you."
Yuki replies back, "All I did was greet you."
"You call that a greeting?" Hana retorts back. Slightly leaning forward.
I am just outside the door. I haven't gone to the library yet, and I can hear them bickering and feel the tension rising inside. Yuki is also socially awkward, and two awkward people bickering is a bit funny for me and makes me forget the fear that I had of Hana. So I decide to do something and open the door and enter.
"Kurosawa!?" They both blurt out my name, surprised at my presence like I am not supposed to be here. I head towards the table and put the books down and the thud of the books makes them silent and I say, "Change of mind, I don't wanna do this, since Hana will be the new member. I think it would be better for her to do this, she would also get a feel for the library in the process, which would help her later. So I say after this introduction is done she goes towards the library and places the books."
My words confuse Yuki, and make Hana calm. Hana gives me a smile and says, "Yes, it sounds perfect. I have no objection." She then looks at Yuki and is compliant now. "Let's finish this introduction, shall we?"
Yuki gets back to her professional look. "Yes, let's continue." And then the introduction goes smoothly. Yuki talks, and Hana listens.
After the introduction is done, Hana comes towards the table.
"You know where the library is right? Putting the books in the appropriate section isn't hard." I gesture at the books on the table.
Hana nods and replies, "Yes, I know where the library is, and I don't need help with this work. I can do it alone. And thanks for being worried about me." Hana picks up the books, gives me a smile, and heads out of the room towards the library.
After Hana is gone, Yuki comes and stands beside me, she is intrigued by my actions. "Kurosawa, what's this? I thought you were scared of Shirakawa. But you came in through the door and gave orders like a commander."
I look up at her with a confident smirk on my face. "I say it's true that I am a bit weirded out by the fact that Hana is obsessed with me, but she isn't like a murderer that will murder and kidnap me. So I am scared, but not that scared of her."
Yuki puts a hand under her chin and is thoughtful. "I suppose that's true. Maybe she will be normal once she joins the club. But I will always be there if you want to talk about her. You are not alone in this." She says the last word with a smile, trying to reassure me.
I reply, "Yea, I know. I will text you tonight after school."
She smiles at the mention of a text. "Kurosawa, I still can't believe that you don't know your own number. I think it's common for people to know their own number, just in case for emergencies."
I move and pull out a chair and sit on it and look up at her and reply, "Like I said I don't call myself. It makes no sense to remember your own number. And besides, if I am in an emergency, I have your number so I will just call you." I then gesture to a chair across from me. "We have a couple of minutes before Hana comes. If we are going to talk, please take a seat, it's better that way."
Yuki is silent, perhaps trying to process if this is my casual way of talking or if I am making moves on her. She silently goes across from me and sits down.
"Kurosawa, whatever the case may be, I am glad you will text me."
The only thing separating us is the table between us, at this distance, I can see a faint smile she is trying to hide.
The door slides open, it's Hana. "I have put the books in their place, it was easy." She's smiling, perhaps at having completed the task given by me. But she's also holding a book with one hand, it's not the book that was on the table. It's the same book she was holding when we first met. It was about a man that was devoted to a woman. She looks at us and goes across me, towards Yuki's side and sits in a chair, slightly apart from Yuki.
Now we all are seated and Yuki's massive 177 cm frame is now equal to my 166 cm height and Hana's 160 cm height. I can see the two clearly and their differences, both physically and personality-wise. Hana has short hair that reaches just her shoulders. Her golden blond hair practically shining in the afternoon glow. Meanwhile Yuki has long hair that falls past her shoulders and is tied in a single ponytail. Her dark black hair acting like the moon to Hana's sun. The two are looking at me. Hana's striking blue eyes carry an intensity that is hard to ignore even when she is calm. While Yuki's dark black eyes behind her glasses carry a stillness that calms me down. Yuki's glasses give her a sharp and wise look. This is all poetic, and we are in the literature club room. A coincidence perhaps? So if Hana is the sun and Yuki the moon, what am I? Am I the earth that takes advantage of both the sun and the moon? "I am getting poetic, I need to focus," my thoughts grounding me.
Yuki looks at me and then at Hana and says, "The introductions are done Shirakawa, at each week we select a book and read and discuss our opinions on it. Since you already have a book in mind, we should discuss it. What do you say, Shirakawa?"
Hana puts the book down on the table and replies, "Yes, it's perfect. I am already prepared." She then opens the book and says, "There's a part that I want to discuss. In the book there's a man and he is devoted to this one woman and he watches her from afar. Scared to talk to her because it might ruin what he has now. But as he watches, he sees that there's someone else. Someone that she talks to and someone she laughs with. He gets jealous but can't stop watching." She then looks at Yuki and at me, her gaze lingering on me for longer before returning to the book. "I want to hear your opinions on it and what you would do. As for me, I think I can take the first step and take action. The past me would have been scared, but I am confident now that I can talk." Her voice true to her words carry confidence, she's not like the shy girl we used to know.
Yuki is intrigued by the topic she says, "Well, if they both like each other, then there's no reason to do anything. I would let them have their own happiness." Now they both look at me, waiting for my opinion.
I have a neutral expression on my face and say, "Well, I think I will talk to her, as she can laugh and talk with her friend, it's common human interaction. If she's doing it with someone else it doesn't mean she is romantically interested in them. So I would talk to her and make sure she spends most of her time with me. And if she is interested in the other guy, then I got no reason to pursue her. And if she doesn't like the other guy but he likes her, then I guess I will plan and make my moves on her."
Hana and Yuki are shocked at my words. Hana is shocked because she didn't know I think like this. Yuki is shocked because she didn't expect this answer.
Yuki adjusts her glasses and says, "That's interesting, but you said you wouldn't do anything if she is interested in the other guy, so I guess that's normal. But what you said, it's like you want to control the situation. I guess love is war, so it's normal if you think that way." Yuki is thinking about my answer.
I can see it in her eyes.
Hana's eyes are on me with recognition. "That's kind of similar to me but way
different. I don't think it's bad Kurosawa-kun."
We then discuss other topics in the book and Hana actually behaves like a normal club member. After a while Yuki says, "It's getting late I should head home. Today was fun, I hope we can keep having discussions like this." She waves me goodbye and heads home. Now it's only me and Hana.
She is smiling. "Today was a great day Kurosawa-kun, I think we have a lot in common and I have been waiting for the double showing."
I look at her and reply, "We have a lot in common? I think there's a difference between you following my advice on how to build basic human connection and us having something in common. And Yuki already showed you around the club. I think it will be boring for you." I try to dismiss her words and request, but she smiles like a maniac.
"Oh, Kurosawa-kun, you think a lot about me to correct my words. Yes, you are correct, I am merely following your advice. You paid attention to me to know the distinction. And Kurosawa-kun, you don't understand. Aizawa only showed me the club, but I want to know which books you read, your favourite place to sit and read, your favourite book, your favourite quote. I just want to know everything about you."
She's rambling and looking at her like this my earlier fear of her that I thought was gone returns. I can feel my heart being engulfed in something cold, my mouth doesn't work, so I just stand up from my chair and move towards a bookshelf, she also stands up from her chair and naturally follows me. I can feel her gaze burning behind my neck. I then pick out a book that contains various poems.
"This is my favourite. There are a lot of metaphors, and if you know them, then the whole meaning of the poem changes." I finally manage to say something.
She then stands beside me and leans forward slightly to look at the book. "So this is your favourite? Can I read it now?" I give her the book and she takes it and reads a poem, completely focused on it as if it's a part of me.
"Is she always like this or has she recently started acting like it?" A question forming in my head. I take a deep breath and ask, "Shirakawa, have you liked someone before?"
She pauses and then turns to look at me, but her blue eyes aren't intense now, they are surprisingly calm, as if thinking about something. She is still smiling but it's normal now, not the manic smile she gave me.
"Yes, I used to like someone four years ago, when I was 12. I used to watch someone in school like the man in the book. But he confronted me in front of others and made a huge scene. He called me a stalker and I was hurt. My parents were mad at me and I had to change school. But that's the past, I am now different than my past self. I can now talk and it's thanks to you, Kurosawa-kun."
My earlier fear of her softens slightly. "So it's not her first time. Maybe she won't do anything reckless due to past failure. And does she know that I don't like her? Or does she think she has a chance? Maybe I won't find out."
"Thanks for sharing this Shirakawa. I know how it feels to be different from others. I hope you can get better and improve. You aren't shy anymore and you can talk normally now, like you did with Yuki, I think that's something."
Hana is completely calm now, evening sunlight reflecting off of her blue eyes like the ocean, her smile is radiant. "Thanks, Kurosawa, for looking at me differently."
I say, "Yea, it's getting late, I should head home."
Hana clutches the book to her chest and says, "Yes, you can leave. You showed me your favourite book. I will be trying to figure out the metaphors. Thanks Kurosawa-kun for today."
I head towards the door and leave. I reach home my parents ask how was my day? I reply, "It was fine." And go to my room to change clothes and eat dinner, and head back to my room and check my phone. There are no messages. Well, it's because Yuki gave me her number and I have to text her first. I look at my left palm and turn it upside down and type the number and save it to my contacts and send a message.
Bopy: Sup
Yuki: Kurosawa, I was worried about you. I didn't want you to be left alone with Shirakawa, but I had to leave early to help my mother with something. Are you fine?
"That's a unique reply to a sup, I guess she is really worried about me." I type in the next words as I think about her.
Bopy: I am fine. I found out something about Shirakawa but I would prefer to talk about it tomorrow.
Yuki: If Shirakawa is scaring you we can talk now, but I suppose talking about it tomorrow would be good. But if you change your mind, you can type it in.
Bopy: Yea, thanks Yuki for worrying about me. We will talk tomorrow morning before the classes start. Goodnight Yuki.
I stare at the three dots indicating that she is typing. I intentionally used her first name. I am wondering what she will type. She sends the message, it's simple but has a lot of weight.
Yuki: Goodnight Bopy.
I stare at the phone and turn it off. I can see my own reflection in the phone screen and I am smiling. "She used my first name!" I then lie down on my bed thinking about her message and bring out a fist towards the ceiling, I am happy.