The gold-tinted light of the courtroom shines down, focusing on the bench of the accused. On the podium stands none other than Holiday Minion. His reindeer-shaped antennae twitch nervously, causing the various bells and ornaments to jingle with the movement. Beside him, Delivery Minion stands professionally, one hand behind his back, the other holding his cap at his chest. Both await judgment.
Prosecution Minion paces along his stand, scratching his antennae. His deep burgundy suit is a professional-looking splash of color in the otherwise uniform landscape of the courtroom's regulars. "Now, could you, for the sake of the jury, go over the events one last time? So it's very clear where the two of you went wrong?"
"Objection!" Defense Minion snips, his own antennae flinching in the indignant pursuit of justice. "The court is perfectly read up on the events of yesterday. There's no need to waste everyone's—"
"Objection!" Prosecution Minion says, pointing an authoritative index finger right back at Defense Minion.
"You can't object to an objection!" Defense Minion says with a pound on his stand.
"Well, you can't object to my objectionoftheobjection!" Prosecution Minion snaps back.
The two are about to enter a true spitting match when Judge Minion, who isn't really in charge of any kind of final judgment on the matter (because they are all, of course, under the watchful, all-seeing eye of the High Overlord), taps her "gavel of recommendation" daintily on the wood.
A good thing too, because this particular Judge Minion is the most level-headed minion they could grab at the time, and they usually aren't so lucky. Magic Minion isn't exactly what we'd call "screwed on straight," but she's better than Baseless Accusation Minion holding the stand.
"Now, fellows," she says, leaning forward and resting her hand on her light-absorbing, blacker-than-pitch cheek. "I understand there's been a preponderance of coverage of yesterday's events. We can't just point fingers for the whole trial. We should at least hear from the accused, don't you think?"
Murmurs from the jury reflect approval of her motion.
Prosecution Minion smoothly draws his hand up along his face to flip his antennae, as if flicking his hair aside. "You want me to cross-examine defendants like these?" he asks, glancing spitefully back at the trembling Holiday Minion, on the brink of tears, and the statuesque Delivery Minion, his eyes closed tight as if to imagine himself somewhere else.
All eyes turn to the two minions in the stands. Delivery Minion slowly opens his eyes, giving a curt glance to Holiday Minion, who is now forming little white tears.
Defense Minion takes a stifled breath. "I don't know what good it will do," he says. "But I suppose if it's what the court wants, we'll go through with it."
"Good gentlemen..." Prosecution Minion starts, then pauses. "Postminion," he addresses, watching Delivery Minion clear his throat to attempt to speak with a readied air, but just a second too slow. Prosecution Minion allows himself a quick smirk. "Alright then, Holiday Minion."
Holiday Minion flinches with a quick gasp. "Y-y-y-yes, sir," he responds. His trembling has gotten to the point where it sounds like Santa's sleigh is coming their way – an inappropriately merry noise considering the severity of the situation.
"Before the High Overlord decides to pass judgement himself," Prosecution Minion starts, "I want you to go from the beginning. What in the world happened to compel you to do something so unbelievably heinous?"
"Objection!" Defense Minion snaps again.
"I object to your objection!" Prosecution Minion snaps back, before quickly pointing his finger back at Holiday Minion. "Begin the story right now, or I'll have you held in contempt of court!"
Magic Minion, as the judge, smiles from up on her pedestal, clearly enjoying the heightened feeling of control. "Go ahead then, Holiday. What's going on?"
Holiday Minion finally breaks into tears, weeping for about a minute in front of everyone watching him. The already-nervous Delivery Minion is made all the more nervous by his stand-mate's ugly crying.
It takes a bit of time, as well as a little cup of tea with a crumpet from Bailiff Minion's emergency stash, for Holiday Minion to calm down. Between gasps and wheezes, he finally starts his account of the story…