Chapter 40
Leroy came to Marcus's house for dinner on a Friday in November. This was not unusual they saw each other regularly, ate together regularly, talked regularly. But this Friday, Leroy had brought his girlfriend, a woman named Sandra who ran a bakery in New Kingston and who had, within five minutes of sitting down, established herself as someone who would not be managed or impressed, only genuinely engaged.
The four of them ate: Marcus and Nia, Leroy and Sandra. The conversation covered everything Kingston politics, the housing situation, the state of the public schools, Leroy's courier business (which had expanded to a small fleet of vehicles and three employees), Nia's current design project (a proposal for redesigning a community space in Trench Town to include informal market infrastructure and a gathering yard).
At some point in the evening, Sandra and Nia were deep in a conversation about zoning laws and Leroy and Marcus were washing dishes together in the small kitchen.
'She's the one,' Leroy said.
He was not talking about Sandra.
Marcus did not look up from the plate he was washing.
'I know,' he said.
'So what are you waiting for?'
'I'm not waiting,' Marcus said. 'I'm being sure. There's a difference.'
'How sure do you need to be?'
Marcus thought about this. He thought about what sureness felt like not the absence of doubt, which was not available in any area of real importance, but the presence of rightness. The way he had felt standing at the front of the classroom for the first time. The way he had felt on the plane coming home.
'Pretty sure,' he said.
Leroy took the plate from him and dried it.
'She makes you better,' Leroy said. 'Not in a you-were-wrong-before way. In a you-grow-faster way. That's rare.'
Marcus looked at him.
'She does,' he said.
'Then what are you washing dishes for?' Leroy said. 'Go in there and tell her something true.'
Marcus laughed. 'Now? In the middle of dinner?'
'Not right now. But soon.' Leroy stacked the plate. 'Life is not that long, Marcus. And you've been careful for long enough.'
Marcus thought about that for weeks.