"I'm sorry. Your Son is on the autism spectrum." At the time I didn't understand a single thing about those words they said. How could I? I was just a kid at the time
Sob* Sob* Sob* Sob*
Yet I could hear mom crying. My first instinct was to comfort my mother , as I asked her in an innocent voice.
"Mom , what does "autism spectrum" mean?"
"Ezron. It just means you'll have a hard time finding friends. But don't worry mommy's always here for you and one day you'll find yourself friends!" Mom said in a warm tone , I never noticed that she was holding back tears and snot.
"Okay Mommy! Now don't cry. It makes Ezron Sad." I said as I tried to pat mom's head but I was too tiny. Hmph. I'll grow taller then mom just wait.
—
"Ewwwww go away, we don't wanna share our lego's with you." A kid's voice could be heard in a disgusted tone , beside the kid there were a few others that were showing their tongue to me.
"Why?" I was confused. I just wanted to play with them.
"Because you're weird. You're necks like a giraffe and you like movie things so girly." One of the kids continued to say.
"EVERYBODY EZRON LIKES MOVIE HE'S SUCH A GIRL" That same boy continued to mock me , of course at the time I was also just a kid , I could only cry as the teacher came and separated us.
There is a saying , in a way kids are the cruelest people , they'll say whatever's in their mind with no filter and no conscience—They don't know it after all they haven't learned it.
—
"Hey Hey! Do you guys like Bendy the Ink Machine?" I tried to talk yet I was met with harsh silence.
"Hey! Do you guys like Sherlock Holmes! I think he's really cool!"
"Sorry No. We're busy" A girl's voice said in a normal tone.
"Hey! Do you guys like—" As I continued to ask people and was rejected again and again. I was given a nickname. Autist. It was a degradatory nickname. But perhaps at the time I was too innocent to notice and thought it was cool that I was given a nickname.
—
Time passes , I'm now a grade 6th student. Yes I've been bullied for my appearances. For my hobbies and many countless more but mom did tell me beforehand. It'll be hard but I'll definitely find friends!
"Hey! I heard many people call you autistic. Is that true?" A boy asked me in an innocent tone. Perhaps it was just an innocent question , but for me I was tired of it. People asking and then making fun of me
"Yeah. So? You're gonna make fun of me too?" I said in a tired but sarcastic voice
"Huh? No? I wanna be your friend! Let's be friends! My name's ████████ , people usually call me ███ tho…"
He was my first friend. He always listened to me and never judged me for my hobbies—Ah I hope we'll be best friends forever! Yeah!
—
"I wanna burn this school down , I'll make sure he gets expelled I-" I said in a rather enthusiastic voice
"Ezron. Think about it logically. Him against you, who would win?" "It's obvious he would win right?" "How many friends do you have compared to him?" "A few." "Do you really think what you're planning's gonna succeed?" "You wanna ruin your life for this?"
Ah-? But ███… you're supposed to be my friend , why are you defending him?
"Ezron. You're a fun guy , yet misunderstood by a lot of people. However there's a simple saying. If a single person hates you perhaps it isn't a problem , but if everybody you meet hates you then you need to rethink yourself."
███ said as he stood up from the cafeteria and left , I never really understood his words for a long time. By the next day we were talking like normal again , but I still hold a grudge on it even if it's in the past.
—
Though I never realized it , I was never really good at understanding people's hearts including my friends. ███'s words echoed in my mind for a very long time yet I never really understood it.
"But then ███ defended him instead , what sort of friend is he, don't you agree Vireth?" I asked with a rather confident tone. Vireth. He was small and tiny but he's a really fun person
"Honestly I'm sure he was trying to tell you why you shouldn't do it" "Autist and what not does it really matter?" "Just ignore it." "At least you're family's well off ya know"
—
"I'm sorry. For thinking you were-" "It's fine. Everybody makes mistakes , myself included. We're still kids after all " ███ said in a rather gentle and understanding voice
"But sometimes , please respect personal space , you're always chatting with me all the time and won't stop until I tell you to stop. I'm trying to be respectful but you're making it increasingly difficult." he continued.
I see. Maybe he's right. Maybe I do need to change—But these grudges shall forever remain.
—
"Huh?!" A bright light flashed through my eyes for who knows how long before disappearing. At the time I thought was it just me but-
"Did you get blinded?" "Huh you too?" "Mommy I'm scared…" "Is it a monster?!" "What?!?!" "EVERYBODY BE QUIET AND SIT DOWN." That last one came from our teacher. We didn't notice it at the time but.
"Hey. What do you guys think about it?" I asked my 2 friends.
"I dunno, maybe it was nothing , but hey at least we got the entire period as break time!" Vireth said in a rather nonchalant manner , though that last part was said in a happy tone
"It's probably. Nothing" ███ said , but his voice was filled with uncertainty. I wonder why? Ah he always said how he trusted his intuition , maybe it's going differently?
—
"Have you guys watched the Loki TV Series?" "It's so peak!" "I think you guys should-"
"Dude. You've been speaking about this for 50 minutes straight now." Vireth said with an exasperated voice.
"It is cool tho , especially that last part that's everywhere on shorts. Ya know the one where he says. I am Loki and I am Burdened with Glorious Purpose" ███ said also in an enthusiastic voice.
"Bruh. Sometimes you're so mature other times you're just childish as hell man" Vireth said with a sigh.
"Yesn't." ███ replied instantaneously.
"Anyways I'm gonna go off now , it's my bed time" ███ said as he left the call.
"Bruh. It's literally just 8pm—I usually do all nighters." Vireth said
"Eh I mean I usually sleep at 10-11pm but 8pm is just brutal man" I replied. As we continued to call until my bed time.
—
"Time flies really fast huh." "Yeah" "To think we're graduating now." "Time waits for no one after all" "Where are you going after high school?" "I dunno. Maybe Japan? I heard their doctor's course is great"
"That's not the only reason right?" "I'm gonna learn Japanese and become proficient at it!" "You weebs." "Heh." "I'm gonna be a racer , maybe for the f1 teams."
"How about you, Ezron? What would you like to be when you grow up?"
"I think I'm gonna be a film director! , Watch as I become the most famous one ever!"
"Heh by then you'll probably forget us " ███ said in a sarcastic and self-deprecating tone.
Heh. It's so like him. But I will never forget them. My first actual friends in this world. I hope we all achieve our dreams and become what we wanted.
Yet life was cruel. Vireth never had the money needed to become one and he turned into a femboy while learning Chinese to one day go to China and try to become a famous crossdressing cosplayer.
███ never had the money and time to become an actual doctor , in the end he settled for any major related to biology. And went to China to study as it was the most his family could afford at the time.
And I? I went to a university to pursue a career in filming. I'd say it was fun , I made new friends , those with similar interests with me. I was no longer made fun of. Or so I thought. until one day—
"Huh?" My voice was different. My height was different , My eyes no longer brown , instead it glowed green. I recognize this voice. It was Loki! Doesn't that mean…
As I willed it I saw a dagger appeared in my arms just like how I wished it to be. Wait doesn't this mean I could. As I thought of it and clenched my hand. Time responded.
"Because you're weird. You're necks like a giraffe and you like movie things so girly."
I was back at that moment. In a kid's body. The beginning. I see.
"Say it again" I said in an emotionless tone.
"Huh?" The child frowned. At the same time he opened his mouth and said "I said it's Because You're We-" "HIIK!?!" Countless creatures suddenly appeared. There was Slenderman. There was Bendy from the Ink Machine. And many more.
The entire room changed , it was a completely dark place with barely any lighting. Ah this was how it should be. Yes. I should be the cool kid. I should be the one respected.
"Say what you want to the others, they'll never believe you either way only you can see it.." I said continuing with my flat tone , ah should I kill them? Should I make them suffer like I d-
"KIDS? What did Teacher tell you? No bullying—huh why are they crying?" Our teacher's voice could be heard confused.
"HIIK. HIIK. NOTHING" The kids scattered as they no longer dared to look at me and scatter away. For the others the classroom stayed the same. But for them , I specifically made sure only they saw the horrors. After all, Loki controls illusions.
—
"You seem in a very good mood today? Did something happen?" Mom asked in her usual tone.
"I'm no longer weird mom!" I said in a happy and cheerful voice
"Is that so-?" "Just ignore what the others call you" "Remember Mommy's always here for you."
"I know momm Thank youuu" I said in a happy and outgoing voice.
—
"HIIK" "PLEASE WE'RE SORRY" "WE'LL NEVER BOTHER YOU AGAIN" "AHHHHH" "MOMMYYYY" Ah yes the countless screamings of those boys who bullied me. How delightful indeed.
This is how it should've been from the start. That's right that's how it should-
[NISHISHISHISHISHI]
Huh? What was that? Eh it was probably nothing I thought to myself. Time continued , I was feared , I was respected , I was now one of the cool kids. Yet-
*SQUELCH *HUMMMMMMMMMMMM *CRACKLE
I could always hear these noises. But I never thought much of it. I continued my Judgement. For who knows how many years. And when I finally thought to myself.
"Now I'm gonna be respected and liked" I time slipped to how old I was at the beginning. Waiting for my fame and everything but—Huh? Why doesn't that time exist? Confusion came to me as I couldn't leave my current time.
I tried. I really tried. But the furthest I got was a week from this day. And all I could see was nothing. The land held no life. There was no water. Nothing. The entire planet was trashed.
I just wanted to become a cool kid. I just wanted to be looked up upon. But why? Why? Why?—Ah. Was this the price of my actions? No. I must fix this. I must fix this. No matter how tired I get. This was caused by me and It'll end by me.
I slipped back in time once more , right before I started my judgement—But everything here was weird. It was nothingness but In front of me I saw something It had the shape of a cocoon. An Insect Cocoon.
With a diamond like shape wound that seemed to emit a powerful energy. No, not only that. He saw countless other things and—There were countless things. Some familiar , some not.
"Nishishishishi" There was laughter echoing , one so familiar. There were what seemed to be countless illusory tentacles prying open. There was what seemed to be a Korean person in a train as he put his hand to the glass as he looked towards it. There was a rather clear voice that could be heard as the words "Please be safe Rimuru Sama" was heard.
Countless things he saw. The one thing they all have in common? At the very least in Ezron's mind , they were all fictional stories from his world—And now they were all breaking free from
Ah—Is this Karma? , but just like what mom said. You have to take care of the consequences of the things you did. Is this what Loki felt? Ah, I remembered.
"I know what kind of God I need to be. For you. For all of us" As he went into the time stream. "I am Loki and I am burdened with Glorious Purpose"
Perhaps I'll regret this. Perhaps I'll die. If I could go back in time and undo my actions? I would not. Because this is what made me. "Me" . And I shall hold this boundary until the day I fall.
"Ah before that." I willed myself to create a perfect copy. A perfect Copy of myself before "The Change" The kid who was bullied and outcast. The kid who met his 2 friends for the first time.
I hope he doesn't make the same mistakes as I did. But knowing myself. Even if I've done this countless times.
"I'm sure… every past me's would make the same choices"
—
A pink haired girl could be seen looking at Loki from a very far place , wearing a shoulderless, backless high-low white dress with layered ruffles and side waist openings, over a sleeveless high-neck garment with a stained-glass motif.
Her silky pink hair that falls gracefully past her waist with soft, luminous highlights, and bright pink-violet eyes that shimmer with a gentle, almost divine glow. Her gaze was one filled with indescribable emotions.
"This time. We'll definitely do it. No matter how long it takes." She muttered as she closed her eyes before fading away. As if she was just a Memory just a Recollection