—Jeremy's POV
"He has COPD. I'm sorry."
…
"What-?" Evelyn's voice. It cracked once more, twice in a row
"Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease."
For a moment, Silence once more, as the doctor continued.
I want you to picture your lungs as a tree," the doctor said, gesturing slightly with his hands.
"At the very ends of all those branches, you have millions of tiny, stretchy balloons, the leaves of the tree you can assume. Every time you take a breath, those balloons fill up with fresh air. When you breathe out, they naturally snap back to push the old air out. It's effortless."
Nod
"With COPD, two things happen to that system," the doctor continued, lowering his hands. "First, those branches get swollen and choked up with thick mucus. like a pipe with gunk built up inside it. The air has to squeeze through a tiny gap."
"Imagine the leaves covered in slime that they can't take in air they can't make energy"
"…"
"Then as time goes those tiny balloons lose their stretch. The walls break down, and they become floppy. When you try to exhale, they don't snap back anymore. They just collapse. And because they collapse, the old air gets trapped inside them."
"Or in this case—The leaves wither away."
…
…
Step
Creak
STEP STEP STEP STEP STEP STEP
"Eve-?" Cael spoke, he never expected her to run like that, that's for sure. But I noticed. I saw the signs from the very beginning. From when we were still in that facility.
…
The tremors.
The labored breathing.
…
How he always lagged slightly behind.
It was inevitable.
He's Old.
I know that.
He'll leave us first.
I know that.
…
I really do.
So why.
Why?
Why can't I accept this inevitable outcome?
I.
I-
I—
"Scheisse."
I could feel it. My hands curled into a fist.
Anger.
Hatred.
Resentment.
Why.
Just.
Why.
It's not logical.
I know that.
My thoughts are spiralling.
I know that.
So why.
Why can't I—
"Scheisse."
"Jeremy-?"
"What."
"Calm do—"
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN CALM DOWN?"
"Lis—"
"THE OLD MAN'S GOT COPD DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?"
"calm down now" The doctor tried to deescalate the situation, the next line slightly delayed "He was bound to get COPD."
"…"
"It's just this incident—It forced his body to a point of no return."
…
…
Step.
Step.
Step.
"Jere—"
"Don't follow me. Both of you."
"Wai—"
Creak
Step.
—Evelyn's POV
…
Step
Ah…
…
Why.
Step
Ralph's gone.
Sera's gone.
…
Now Randy's—
…
…
Drip
"Ah."
Drip
"It would be nice if it'd rain"
Drip
I couldn't help but cover my face with my hands as a loud sigh came from me
Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh
…
Honestly at this point…
Why do I keep trying to smile-?
…
Oh yeah
—3 Years and 2 Months ago…
"Welcome. New recruit?"
I remembered her, a women, turtleneck sweater and black pants with a lab coat, her eyes looked tired, the room smelled of cigarettes. Green eyes. her hair long and frizzled as it flowed freely reaching her thighs.
"Yes"
"Name?"
"Just Evelyn"
"Alright give me a minute…"
Tap Tap Tap
The sound of keyboard clicking could be heard, precise and with no hesitation, she must've done this for a long time. It didn't take long as well
"Done , here's your ID card , you can start working tomorrow. Work starts at 08.00AM"
"Thank you…"
Step Step Step
Glance
Evelyn, Janitor, Clearance level 1.
"Huh."
"Well—Guess I'll go to work"
—
"Ah—Hello… I'm Evelyn, I look forward working with you all.."
I remembered.
"Hi! I'm the team leader my names ██████. "
…
Hah.
I don't even want to remember their names.
"I'm ██████."
"The names ██████"
"We're team X18"
—
"Well according to the procedures we're supposed to use these Kigurumi masks and skin suits."
"Huh this looks kinda creepy."
"Yeah… I heard some people do this as a hobby."
"Eh… that's kinda weird is it not-?"
"Alright alright, let's get dressed. We need to clean this containment cell."
…
I remembered it so well.
The smiles, the jokes, everything.
How we thought this would go on forever.
—
"Why—"
"WHY?"
HIIK
"BECAUSE OF YOU."
"BECAUSE OF YOU THEY ALL DIED."
"WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?"
"TELL ME EVELYN WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?" I remembered that shaky voice.
"IT WAS EITHER THEM OR US."
"THEY COULD'VE SURVIVED BUT YOU—YOU."
"IT WAS UNAVOIDABLE"
"…"
"B-b-besides—I'm the l-l-leader."
What?
"M-m-my life is more valuable then theirs."
…
Silence
—The Present.
Drip
…
Ah…
Drip Drip Drip Drip
"It's raining huh."
Drip
BOOOMMMMMMMM
Drip Drip Drip Drip
"Man…"
"I just."
Step Step Step
…
I know those footsteps way too well.
Step
"…"
"…"
Step
Sighhhhh
Thud
He
"Ahahaha. Sorry sorry, I'm just—"
"It's alright"
"You can just be quiet."
BOOOOOOOOM
…
"Hell you can even lean on me for all I care."
Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip
BOOOOMMMMMMM
…
At that moment perhaps, something in Evelyn's might broke. A choked gasp escaped them, and then they finally wailed—a raw, heavy sound of pure grief that she had been holding back for far too long.
It wasn't beautiful.
Not even a little.
Her face twisted. Her lips trembled, desperately trying to form words that never came. She sucked in a breath, only for it to catch halfway down her throat, collapsing into another broken, strangled sound.
She tried to stop.
She really did
Both her hands against her mouth, wishing she could force everything back inside, as though keeping quiet would somehow make this less pathetic.
But the tears kept coming.
Her nose ran. Her shoulders jerked violently. Her body trembling uncontrollably. Every breath came out uneven, interrupted by ugly little gasps that she couldn't control. She couldn't even cry properly without choking on her own breathing.
And the harder she tried to suppress it, the worse it became.
"Ah— ngh—"
It hurts.
That was what filled her mind.
Her throat hurt. Her chest hurt. Her head hurt.
Everything hurts.
She hated it.
Hated how helpless she felt. Hated how the tears blurred her vision until she couldn't see anything clearly. Hated how, after all these years, after all those smiles, she was still that same helpless girl who couldn't save anyone.
"Why..."
The word barely escaped her lips as it cracked.
"Why does everyone keep leaving me?"
Yet Cael stayed silent, absolutely silent, as if telling her, go on.
You can cry.
You can be weak.
It'll be a secret between them both.
And at some point—she stopped trying.
Trying to hold herself together.
Her voice broke.
Her legs could barely support her.
Until there was nothing left to say, and even then, she couldn't stop.
And Cael?
He was just there.
With her.
For a long. Long time.
—Jeremy's POV
Click
…
Click
…
Click
"Scheisse"
The apartment was quiet—Too quiet.
I hated it.
I hated how the refrigerator hummed in the kitchen. How the clock ticked. How the rain tapped against my window like some annoying little bastard demanding to be let in. I hated everything.
Click
War Thunder
That screen appeared once more//
Finally, something I could do. Something that made sense.
A tank.
An enemy.
A battlefield.
You shoot them before they shoot you. You make a mistake, you die. You play badly, you lose.
Simple.
Logical.
Fair.
Unlike—
"Scheisse."
I shook my head.
No.
No, no, no.
I'm doing this.
I'm not sitting here to think about that shit.
Randy was old. He was sick. His body had been deteriorating for years, and anyone with a functioning brain could have seen it coming.
I knew.
I knew.
So why the fuck was I acting like someone had just told me he'd been shot in the head?
Click
The match started.
I drove forward, keeping an eye on the minimap while scanning the road ahead.
Left flank. Two allies.
Right flank. Open ground.
Enemy positions—
BOOM.
You have been destroyed.—The screen showed that. and some other details.
…
…
"FUCKING BITCH"
Deep breaths me.
Hhhhhhh—
Haahhhhh.
"Scheisse."
It wasn't even a bad shot.
He'd been sitting there the entire time. I should've checked the corner.
My fault.
Fine.
Whatever.
Click
—
Target destroyed.
"HAH! GET FUCKED!"
For the first time since leaving the hospital, I felt something resembling satisfaction.
See?
This was fine. I could still do things. I could still think. I could still—
BOOM.
My tank exploded.
YOU HAVE BEEN DESTROYED.
"OH, FUCK OFF!"
I couldn't help but lean back in my chair, my eyes staring at the ceiling
"FUCK OFF. FUCK OFF. FUCK OFF."
Tremble Tremble
Why am I—
Scheisse.
I rubbed my face. The doctor had said it was inevitable.
Those were his exact words.
He was bound to get COPD.
As if that explained anything.
…
As if giving something a name made it easier to accept. As if telling me someone's body was failing meant I was supposed to nod, thank him for the explanation, and go home.
What the fuck was I supposed to do with that information?
Buy him flowers?
Tell him to take it easy?
Visit him every fucking weekend and pretend I didn't notice when he started struggling to breathe?
…
Gulp
Fuck.
I hate this.
I hate that old man.
I hate his stupid jokes.
His stupid cough.
The way he'd always tell us he was fine whenever we asked.
The way he'd walk behind us and pretend he wasn't slowing everyone down.
The way he'd—
…
"Scheisse."
My voice came out quieter this time as I reached for my mouse.
Click
Another match.
Another battlefield.
Another place where things made sense—The only difference?
I couldn't concentrate anymore.
I drove straight into an enemy line and got blown up within thirty seconds. Something I'd never do with a clear mind.
"FUCK!"
I couldn't help but curse as I threw my headphones onto the desk.
THUD
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?"
Silence
…
"…"
"…"
Yet before I could speak another curse my throat tightened.
No.
Absolutely fucking not.
It hasn't even happened yet.
Randy was still alive.
He was still alive.
He was in a hospital bed somewhere, probably complaining about the food or making some stupid joke about the nurses.
He was still there.
Still alive.
So why—.
"Stop."
…
"Stop it."
…
"STOP IT!"
My voice cracked.
…
"Scheisse."
"Scheisse."
"ScheisseScheisseScheisseScheisseScheisseScheisseScheisseScheisseScheisseScheisseScheisseScheisseScheisseScheisse"
What was this?
What was I supposed to call this?
Grief?
Fear?
Anger?
Some stupid combination of all three?
WHY?
Why did it hurt this much?
He wasn't dead.
HE'S STILL FUCKING ALIVE.
I could visit him tomorrow. I could talk to him. I could listen to him complain about how terrible the hospital coffee was. I could—
…
What if there wasn't a tomorrow?
The thought slipped in before I could stop it. And suddenly, I was back in that room. The doctor explaining lungs like trees. Evelyn running away. Cael standing there, looking at us like he understood something I didn't.
And Randy.
That stupid, stubborn old man.
Scheisse.
I bent forward, pressing my elbows against my knees.
"Fuck…"
My voice sounded strange.
I hated it
"Fuck you, Randy."
…
"Hah."
"Hahahahahaha…"
A laugh escaped me. It sounded horrible.
"Fucking old bastard…"
Twitch
"Why couldn't you just…"
Why couldn't you just stay healthy?
Why couldn't you just tell us?
Why couldn't you just—
BOOOMMMMMM
"SHUT UP YOU FUCKING THUNDER." I couldn't help but struck my table with my fist.
…
"Scheisse."
"Scheisse."
"SCHEISSE."
…
"SCHEISSESCHEISSESCHEISSESCHEISSESCHEISSESCHEISSESCHEISSESCHEISSESCHEISSESCHEISSE"
…
Why-?
It usually helps.
But why.
Why isn't it helping-?
Why.
Why.
WhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhy
Why-?
Just—
"Why-?"
Tremble Tremble
My hands wouldn't stop shaking. The room felt smaller. The walls felt closer. I couldn't breathe properly.
Fuck.
I needed to sleep.
I needed to calm down.
I needed—
Knock Knock
…
Wha—
Who the hell—
Knock Knock Knock
…
For a moment, I considered pretending I wasn't home.
Then—
Knock
…
"Scheisse." Who am I kidding?
I thought to myself as I wiped my face with my sleeve, forced myself to stand up on these unsteady legs, and walked toward the door.
Step
…
Step
…
Step
Grab
My hand stopped on the handle.
…
Who the fuck is it?
…
Yeah I know who they are.
I probably do.
Just—
…
…
Fuck it
Creakkkkkkkkk