As JJs world darkened, a sudden explosion of light illuminated his horizons. Looking up, he saw a bright, blue, clear sunny sky.
Expecting it all to be a dream, he looked down, only to find himself several stories high. A saddening sight welcomed his vision on the ground. A small truck was smashed against his football pitch's wall, and what looked to be an unconscious him lay several feet behind, at the centre of the street.
Is this the mythical out-of-body experience everyone talks about? But I've not even smoked the Salvia I was growing! Did Erik Big Money curse me just because I stole a pot from his property!? Fuck you Erik!
As JJ kept floating up, he realised his speed of ascent kept increasing and his body along with the ground kept getting further and further away.
Wait! If this ain't Salvia, then what the fuck is this? Did somebody Doctor Strange slam me or something? Am I gonna see all galaxy before I get back to my body again?!
Alas, for JJ, no intergalactic sights greeted him, instead, the ground only kept getting farther and farther away. A moment later, an aeroplane flew through him like he was just a cloud of blue gas farted by an unknown alien species.
What the fuck is going on!!! Am I fucking dying?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!!!!!?
"Heh."
A single syllable of laugh graced his desperate ardent need for an answer.
What? Who are you, wtf do you mean "Heh"? Am I seriously dying!?
As JJ voiced this thought in his head, the world around him suddenly darkened again.
"Dying? Heh. Omae wa mou shindeiru."
What!!?
As his sanity shook in the eternal darkness, JJ found himself moving towards a distant light. Before he could even register it, he found himself floating in front of a man in black.
Except he wasn't wearing a black two piece suit over a white shirt, instead he was garbed in all black medieval robes. And adorning his head was a long black witch hat. His robe looked like it was fastened with a golden, belt like sash, and a gold chain hung from right side of his belt, forming a parabolic arch. A few more pieces of golden jewellery complimented his black attire, a piece on his chest, or each on his shoulders.
"What the fuck do you mean?" JJ asked out loud.
"You are dead." Replied the man in black.
"What are you translating for me man! Of course I know what that means! But I just stepped out of the football pitch, how in the fucking nine hells am I dead? What did I even do to deserve this?"
Although rest of his country called the game "soccer", JJ being a non-conformist chose to go against the norm and made habit to call the game with its rightful name. Of course, he felt himself superior for calling the game with its true name, instead of the made up name his fellow, stupid countrymen used.
Being from the south, JJ felt a certain kind of resentment towards a lot of the populace he had to share a life with. While on surface most were kind, maybe a bit crude, but still well meaning, there were always a good number in the southern reaches who were vile, especially towards those with a different skin colour, eye shape or self identity.
Irrespective of that, there were still good people, especially in his age group among the folks.
Coming back from the tangent though, JJ found himself in peril, floating in front of the tall man with a long black witch hat upon his head.
The man took several moments to stare at him, before he moved his mouth to answer.
"Yes, you are, in fact, actually, truly, really, dead."
"For real?"
"For real."
"Like, fr fr?"
"Yeah, fr fr fr."
"Damn it! How? I didn't even realise?"
"Well, as you see, a truck was approaching you from behind..."
Said the man as he pointed to a dark corner of the area they 'stood' in. The area lit up to show the eagle eye view of the scene of his apparent death. In slow motion.
From the top, JJ could see clearly that the lunatic driver truck approached him at a relatively slow speed, and he even jumped. He jumped across the truck tho, and ended up getting hit by its bonnet. Just as that moment passed, the angle of the view cut from top of the scene to the front, where he was again shown getting hit by the truck in slow motion.
His panicked and scared face was clearly visible. From this angle, it was clear that the truck hit him on the side, but it was slow enough that with JJ's jump, he'd fallen on the road at truck's centre, and it passed over him harmlessly to collide with the pitch's wall.
"Surely I didn't just die with that one impact, right? Right?"
The man gazed at him with little change to his facial expression. He gave a slow, measured nod, and continued speaking. But as he was speaking, the video kept moving, and showed a new angle. This time, a POV. His POV. Again, in slow motion.
"Technically, you did actually not die from the collision either with the truck, or with the road."
Now the POV had changed from his to the driver's. There was somehow a sleepy graphic on the screen's corner too, signifying that the driver was apparently sleeping, actually.
"Then how did I die? Nobody bothered to help me? Is this how bad the world has gotten?" JJ shook his head in regret.
The man in front of him shook his head.
"Well, actually, you died way before the ambulance called for you reached you. By the time they picked you up, it was all over."
"But how did I even die?!! I couldn't have just bled out that fast, right?"
"..ummm, do you really want to know how? I'm not sure if you'd like it..."
The man's face now shifted slightly. He lips struggled to spread and curl but he held them in place, doing his best to contain himself from breaking that neutral expression.
JJ eyed the man carefully, trying to analyse his micro-expression.
"I don't care, I want to know."
"Well, the shock of the collision was so hard on you, that your body went into cardiac arrest."
Just as the man finished speaking, the screen shifted again. This time it showed a more diagonal angle from the right and the front, almost the perspective of the wall where the truck collided. This time, the video was fast, and it only slowed down when the truck contacted him, and then sped up again as the truck headed towards the wall. By the end special animated effects emulating the collision even appeared!
JJ's supposed body struggled to stay upright.
"You... you're- you're telling me that.. that I died the... Kazuma death?"
"Yes. Don't worry though, you didn't soil your clothes though."
Said the man with a slight chuckle.
Why did he say 'though' twice?
"Are you a grammar Nazi or what?"
The man's chuckle suddenly turned into a full laugh.
"Hey! You speak weird, what can I say? Anyway, if I'm really dead, then where even I am? Is his heaven? Hell? Are you god..? Somehow I doubt that though..." He whispered the last sentence under his 'breath'.
"Why, why would you doubt that I am a god?"
"I don't know, you just seem very laid back. Who even are you? Are you really a god? You even made that cringe joke from Fist of the North Star, now way a weeb can be a god, right?"
"You'd be surprised to know I am one of the Nine great gods of the universe, little child. And yes, even a weeb can be a god. There's no shame in actively enjoying the fruit of human creativity."
"Are you serious? Like, you mean that? Fr? What is your name? What are you the god of?"
The man's face shifted slightly. He seemed slightly off put, as if he was embarrassed about something.
"I am one of the nine Great Old Ones of the universe."
JJ's eyes widened in great alarm!
"G-great Old... Ones?" muttered JJ in disbelief.
They're real?! Was HP Lovecraft really dreaming of gods? Is Cthulhu real too!?!
"You can say that, yes. Although he was only aware of their existence. Not about who or how many. And Cthulhu is not real."
I may have fucked up...
JJ immediately bent his back and bowed in front of the man- no, God.
"Forgive me O great lord, for I am a stupid human and I failed to recognise your greatness! I pray that you forgive me!"
JJ begged at the top of his lungs, and tried to peek up at the face of God who'd given him the time of the day.
The God had a slight smirk on his face, as if he was relishing in the JJ's beggings.
"Worry not child, the little antics of humans are not something we pay mind to."
"Oh thank you great merciful lord! How may I be of assistance to you? Is there a reason I've had this opportunity to be your audience?" JJ spoke in all the reverence he could manage at the moment. Even though the God had paid no mind to his ramblings, he wanted to be sure and sugarcoat all he could. From the chinese novels he'd read, all great beings of universe tended to be quite moody and genocidal. He didn't know if the one in front of him just had a kind outer persona.
The god in front of him shifted slightly. With a wave of his hand, the screen in the corner which was still showing JJ's death's replays disappeared.
"You are dead. Now it's up to you if you want to just become an eternal drop in the universe's divinity, or you would like to live another human life. I must let you know, not everybody gets the chance to do this, you were just lucky."
How in the heck is dying in the prime of my youth lucky? I was quite satisfied with my life!
"Were you really?"
If JJ could see his own face, he'd see his lips straighten at being caught lying to himself. Of course, normally JJ would not realise that he was lying to himself.
Now that I think about it, I really was coping hard telling myself that mid ass life was fine...
"Worry not child, I am here. You now have a new chance at life. And your death, by all accounts, was not predetermined. Nobody'd death is actually. The world runs on its own, we are just the giant cogs that make sure it spins continuously."
JJ took the time the man spoke to collect himself.
"So you're saying you cannot control people's fates, or the world's?"
"I never said that."
"Oh....."
"Yes."
"So you can?"
"Whatever you'd like to believe."
"Hmm. I understand."
"I won't ask what you understood."
"Thanks."
JJ sighed a deep sigh. Gods, man. Gods.
Looking up at the man again, JJ felt a sense of deja vu as his eyes scanned his attire.
"Umm, sir Great God.. May I ask your name? I am JJ Jameson."
The man's lips slightly widened when JJ said his name.
What, is my name funny or something?
It's not like JJ was unaware, but he just didn't expect a Great Old One to find his name funny like that.
"You do know where it comes from, right?"
"From my parents?"
"Now you're wilfully not speaking the right answer."
"Maybe because I was bullied for it? God knows why my bum of a father and nun of a mother thought it was a good name... Wait! Does the Christian God exist? The God they all talk about? It would be so hilarious if my religious nutcase of a mother was always wrong!"
The man gazed at him silently for a moment, before shaking his head and speaking.
"Technically, one God existed. But he no longer does. He is the one most of the scriptures talk about. But the chronicles in those scriptures are mostly myths and hearsay. So, you'd be right in thinking that religions are mostly stupid."
"Heh.. hehehe.. hahahahahahahahahaah!"
A chuckle escaped JJ's mouth before it soon turned into a full blown laughter.
"Oh holy vindication! Fuck you mother, father, and you bum ass church dogs who ruined my childhood!"
JJ screamed at the top of his lungs. It took several minutes before he finally calmed down. His supposedly spiritual eyes were wet somehow.
...
"I'm sorry, sir. That was unseemly of me. Please forgive me."
"Nothing to worry about." Said the God in front of him who'd crossed his hands now and was looking at him with a face full of understanding. He couldn't understand how a being of divinity could have such empathy.
"So, what do you think? Would you like to reincarnate? Although it'd be less of that. It's more like transmigration. You won't be able to start a life from the very beginning."
"Would I know the time and place? Can I choose them? Will I have any cheats or something to take with me? Also, sir, I forgot to ask your name."
The God shook his head at his little barrage of questions.
"No, you can't choose either. And you won't know them until you get there. But trust me, you will be satisfied. And no, cheats are not real. That's just human desire for wish fulfilment at work."
"Aww... man, that's sad." JJ lamented at his lack of choice.
"As for my name..." continued he.
The God spoke slow, with deliberation.
"I am Amon, the Lord of Mysteries."